A/N: Okay, well this one covers about a year. The section from where Jack's sitting in his office w/ computer problems on is all the same day on J.J.'s birthday.
Lonely
Daniel stood outside Jack's house, Ta'ashra limply holding his hand. He held her there tightly, knowing how much she wanted to run through the grass. He hated denying her the fun; there was not grass on Abydos, but he felt more comfortable letting her run around in the backyard.
He knocked gently on Jack's front door, just loud enough to be sure Jack would hear it inside. The absence of a response concerned him after their last "confrontation" a little over six months ago. He knocked again, maybe sounding a little more impatient this time.
"Daddy, he can't hear you," Tay stated matter-of-factly. She put her free hand on her hip and tapped her foot on the ground.
"I can't knock any louder, Dear. J.J. could be sleeping," he explained to her. "Where'd you pick up that habit?"
"Dr. Sam used to do it to Unka Jack."
Daniel laughed. He'd forgotten the antics and dynamics of their team. Well, not totally, but if anyone had seen them recently they would have never guessed the team to be as close as they were.
"I don't think he's sleeping, Daddy."
"Oh, yeah? You sure about that?" Daniel joked.
"Yep," Daniel suddenly heard behind him, causing him to jump. Tay started giggling uncontrollably.
"Hi, Unka Jack!" she managed to get out amonst the giggles.
"Hey, Sweetie." Jack stopped pushing J.J.'s carriage to hug her as she ran over. He missed her so much, a smiling face in his life.
Daniel approached the carriage quietly. "Hey, Buddy," he said softly, leaning over the edge. J.J. peered up at him. "He's so small, Jack."
"Fraiser just released him two weeks ago," Jack replied softly.
"So… um… how are you doing?" Daniel knew Jack wouldn't want to tak about it, but now was as good a time as ever. "Nobody's seen you since-"
"Yeah, I know. Just need a little time. Spent the first month at the cabin, restocking in, since the Doc wouldn't let me in to see J.J. at all. Said she didn't want him to get sick with that weird bacteria in his system, and since we're not really set up to take care of a premature baby, she sent me off." Jack watched closely as Tay played with J.J.'s hands.
"Be careful, he's fragile, Darling," Daniel warned her.
"Maybe we should move this to the backyard." Jack pushed the carriage up to the door. They carefully made their way through the house. Daniel was surprised to see how different, how clean it looked.
Jack parked the carriage in the kitchen and pulled J.J. out. The group made their way to the back porch. A small swing was set up for J.J. back against the house, secured to the wood of the floor they now stood on. Jack placed his son in the swing and started it.
Daniel glanced his way, grinning like a madman.
"What?" Jack said, sounding guilty of something, nothing in particular.
"Never thought we'd see this side of you," Daniel joked, hoping to get a smile out of his CO.
"Yeah, never thought I'd see it again, either," Jack replied sadly.
"Hey, Jack, maybe you should come up to the base-"
"For cryin' out loud, Daniel! Give me some time!" Jack didn't let Daniel finish his sentence. He was still grieving, let him be. He immediately regretted his outburst. "Sorry, just a little stressed."
"Jack, J.J.'s over two months premature, and you're trying to raise him on your own, of course you're stressed." He paused. "I was going to suggest you move onto the base for a little bit, so Janet could keep an eye on him."
Jack raised his eyebrow, a habit he'd obviously learned from Teal'c.
"Sam and Janet's idea. Hammond's already cleared it. We all wanted to come over and tell you, but we figured that might not be such a great idea, invading you like that, so I cam alone." Daniel let just one corner of his mouth turn up. "If you move to the base, Janet can keep a closer eye on him. The entire medical staff has already offered to watch him while we're away. Overnighters, Shau'ri will watch him for you."
"Let me think about it." Jack leaned back in his chair, watching both Tay playing in the grass, and J.J. falling asleep in his swing.
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"Jack, that look suits you," Sam joked, meeting up with him in the hallway. He had a diaper bag slung over one shoulder, carrying J.J. with the opposite arm. J.J. was so small his head rested in the crook of Jack's arm, his feet lying by his fingertips.
He looks good, Sam thought. She mentally kicked herself for even allowing it to enter her mind. He just lost his wife!
Jack smiled sarcastically down at her. "Thanks, I try."
"Want me to carry something?"
"Sure." Jack handed Sam the bag carefully. He was glad to have a friend who was technically outside the military, especially since she was a woman.
Stop it, Jack! You're just feeling lonely.
"No one thinks you're asking for help, if that's what you're worried about," Sam reassured him softly.
"I was on my way over here to retire, again, when Jackson stopped by. J.J.'s just not old enough yet." They turned down the next hall towards Jack's new quarters.
"We're glad you didn't. The team still needs you." Sam smiled, her eyes shining blue. They were offset by her bright blonde hair hanging just below her shoulders.
Jack smiled back, a true grin this time. His first since Sara's death. He shifted J.J. whose balled fist hit him in the chest.
"He's strong, like his mom," Jack said quietly. He pushed the tears back, not willing to let them show.
"His dad, too." D'oh! Sam mentally winced. She did not just say that, did she? The look on Jack's face told her she had.
She quickly tried to cover it up. "We're all truly sorry, Jack. Well, this is the best we could offer," she said as they reached his quarters. General Hammond and Dr. Fraiser were already waiting for them.
"Colonel," Hammond said, nodding to him. "Dr. Fraiser will show you your new quarters." The General turned and left the room.
"Sir," Janet started. "This is your office, which connects to your sleeping quarters, which in turn connects to J.J.'s room. His room has been soundproofed. A transmitter was installed with a speaker in your room. We didn't want the klaxons bothering him. You personal radio has been programmed to receive that channel as well," she explained. "I'll leave you to get settled." Janet left the room, closing the door behind her.
"Jack."
"Sam."
Neither knew exactly what to do next. Jack sat on his desk, still clutching his son to his chest. The silence wasn't exactly uncomfortable, just unsure.
Sam sat in his chair, directly in front of him. She had been dropping by his house periodically since J.J. had been released. He hadn't really paid much attention to it, besides being grateful for the help. Sam had been happy to help him out, letting the woman in her overrule the scientist during her visits.
Jack had welcomed them. It was difficult; more than he had anticipated. He hadn't been around much during Charlie's infancy, something he had always regretted, but more so now. He couldn't understand how Sara had done it.
"How're you doing?" Sam asked, venturing to break the silence.
"Hmph," Jack grunted solemnly. As horrible as he still felt, he didn't really want to talk about it.
"Jack, we've been working on this project together for years, I'd like to think we've become friends." Sam sounded almost hurt, but unsure.
"Sorry." Jack looked away. "We have."
"So talk," Sam ordered.
"Don't really feel like it," he commented back snidely.
"Okay, fine," Sam replied. She stood to leave the room. "If you need anything, just let me know."
"I need you," he said softly, just barely loud enough for her to hear.
She was appalled! Sure she felt somewhat of an attraction to him, but the man had just lost his wife. Wasn't two months a little too soon?
Jack had to chuckle at the look of pure disgust on Sam's face. It was just too much.
"Not like that," he replied, lightly grasping her elbow. He pulled her gently over to where he was sitting. "You said that we're friends, I agree. You want me to talk so here's your chance. I'm going to lay J.J. down in his room, then we are going to sit here and talk.
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Jack awoke in the cold, dark room in the base he'd been calling home for the better part of a month now. He could see his breath, or so he thought. He realized it was steam he could see floating into his bedroom.
Sam had been coming in early mornings and sometimes set his tea water to boil so it would be ready when he awoke. He looked over at his watch and saw, as usual, that it was 0600. He smiled as he stood to start his day with a wonderfully hot cup of tea.
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"All right, people. Welcome to P3X-217. Spread out and do your thing."
SG-1 landed on their newest exploratory planet. There were no signs of life, but hey, that didn't mean there wasn't any. There were too many trees for Jack's liking, too many places for hostiles to hide.
Daniel's roaming caught the corner of his eye. No matter how military, the guy just couldn't seem to meld that with scientific, and right now he was in search-out-former-signs-of-civilization mode. Jack nodded for Teal'c to go with him.
Sam was just finished taking some samples as Jack approached her from behind.
"Any luck?" he asked, seemingly on edge more than usual.
"Nothing spectacular. Almost finished, though," Sam replied, capping the last four test tubes. "There!" she said triumphantly. She placed the test tubes into the MALP's holding tray and sat on the steps leading up to the Stargate.
Jack glanced around, quickly checking that it was still okay and sat next to her.
"I'm moving back home soon," he told her, staring at his feet.
"So I've heard," Sam said with a smile.
What? "But I… I wanted to tell you myself, our friendship being so close and all." Jack moved closer to her, easing some of their tension.
"I know. That's why I didn't say anything." Her smile was still plastered across her face, but a new sadness shone through. "I'm gonna miss J.J.:
"Carter," Jack laughed. "I'm moving off base, not off world. Just because I'm going home doesn't mean you can't come by for visits…" He looked up at her. "Even when he's asleep."
"It's about time you went home. It's been almost six months since…"
"Yeah, I know. I've realized that sitting around on base, torturing Airmen, and being just miserable isn't going to bring her back. I'm… moving on," Jack said. It was the first time he admitted it, even to himself. He still loved Sara, would always love her, but he had to move on, for J.J.'s sake, for his own sanity. It was possibly the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, but he did it.
"Good for you. I know it's hard. I remember how much I hurt the first time I saw my dad look at someone else after my mom died. It took me a while, but I finally realized how much we needed to move on." Sam avoided looking at Jack, not wanting him to see the pain on her face.
"That's what I'm worried about. I mean, if I were to ever get remarried, what happens when J.J. gets older? I don't want him to feel like I betrayed his mother." Emotional Jack, the newest Jack. He still didn't know how to handle this thing he was doing, seemingly out of his control.
"He's so young, I don't think it'll matter. That's so many years in the future, I wouldn't worry about it until the time comes." Sam bumped her shoulder against his upper arm, giving him a reassuring smile.
He smiled back, making eye contact and gave her a friendly, one armed hug. "Thanks, Sam."
Daniel approached Jack and Sam, followed by Teal'c. "There's nothing here, sir," he reported.
"Let's move out," Jack said, standing up.
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Jack sat in his office, his feet resting comfortably on his desk. He stared at the laptop in front of him, willing it to work. There was no way he was going to give the techies the satisfaction of fixing the problem for him.
Carter! That's it, he'd call Sam! She'd know how to fix it. He jumped up and half ran to the phone, picking it up and dialing her extension.
"Dr. Carter," he heard from the other end.
"Hey, Sam, you busy?"
"Just getting some things together before I head out to get cleaned up."
"Ah, good, could you come to my office before you leave? I've got a little project for you."
"Colonel." Sam always playfully emphasized his rank whenever she was about to chide him for something. "Shouldn't you be home setting up?"
"That's what last night was for."
"I'll be over in a minute." She hung up on him, but he just shrugged and replaced the receiver.
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The soft knock on his door jarred him out of the light doze he'd accidentally fallen into. He wasn't sure if it had been real until he heard it again. He groggily stood and opened the door.
"Sam."
"What's up?"
Jack walked her over to where his laptop sat on the desk. "Won't work," he said, pointing to the machine. "I think someone messed with it… yeah that's it."
Sure, Sam thought to herself. "Pack it up and I'll look at it later tonight."
"Okay," Jack said watching Sam leave. "1900, don't forget."
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Jack sat at the table watching his son play in his first birthday cake. It was a bittersweet moment for him, a marking of the day he had lost his wife and gained a son. In some aspects it still felt like yesterday. At night, when he'd lay in his king sized bed alone, the pain would come rushing back. Those nights he would either lie on the floor in J.J.'s room, or bring J.J. to him. There were some nights when sleeping in J.J.'s room was just too painful, it being Charlie's old room.
Something sticky and cold slamming him on the forehead brought Jack back to reality. He could hear the laughter of his friends as he came to realize what happened. He grabbed a napkin and wiped the chocolate cake off his forehead. He looked to where J.J. sat, that unique O'Neill grin plastered to his face, with his hand buried deep in the cake.
He glanced up to see the smiles on his friends' faces before cracking into a fit of laughter. Yep, this moment was definitely more sweet than bitter.
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Jack walked into the kitchen, stretching.
"J.J.'s in bed." He stood behind Sam, watching her. "You don't have to help me, ya know."
"I have to stay late anyways, might as well make myself useful," she shrugged. She rinsed the dishes and sat them in the drying rack.
"I don't think I've properly thanked you for all you've done for us." Jack leaned against the counter. "I really appreciate the help."
"It's nothing, really," Sam grinned back. "Besides, I have to fix your computer or else you won't be able to finish those reports." She turned, and leaned back against the sink, facing the same way as Jack.
His left hand inched towards her, almost with a mind of its own, almost. He tried stopping it, knowing he shouldn't, but it just seemed impossible.
Sam must have seen what he was doing because she jumped slightly and moved towards the center of the kitchen.
"So, uh," she started. "Let's take a look at your laptop." Oh, she cringed. Wrong choice of words.
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Two hours later and a full disassembly and reassembly of the faulty piece of hardware found the machine up and running smoothly.
"There you go, Jack. All set." Sam grinned proudly. She shoved the computer in front of him.
They were sitting on his couch in the middle of his living room, the laptop sitting on his coffee table. Jack turned on the couch, his knees bumping her. He leaned closer to her, his eyes becoming soft and serious.
"Thank you, again." He tilted his head in and brought his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, slowly. She didn't move away, so he leaned in closer. His brain finally kicked in screaming at him to stop. He pulled away, avoiding her eyes.
"Jack," she said softly. He couldn't read the tone in her voice. Don't let him go!
"I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… it wasn't… I'm sorry," Jack said standing. He led her to the door. "I should probably get some rest, goin' offworld tomorrow and all." He rattled off the lame excuse before he knew what he had said.
"Uh, yeah. See you tomorrow." Sam turned and walked out the door, too fast to hear him say, "I meant that 'Thank you,' Sam."
A/N: Okay, hope you like! next chapter is Abydos. Okay, Please review!