A/N: Okay i don't know how some ppl feel about certain subjects so up the rating on this just a teensy bit, not quite up to the next level they have but up anyway. Thanks
Happiness
Jack and Sam sat outside on his back porch, watching J.J. run around the backyard. He'd changed so much in three years, it almost startled Jack. He had always heard of preemies being small their whole lives, but J.J. was the exception to that rule. He still reminded Jack so much of Charlie it hurt, but he knew they were two completely different people. J.J. could never take Charlie's place, and he didn't want him to.
"He's getting so big, Jack," Sam commented, watching the boy chase butterflies.
"I know. He definitely gives me a run for my money. He's got so much energy. I feel so old lately," he joked. His sparkling white teeth glistened off the sun.
Sam couldn't help but stare at his smile. She loved seeing him so happy. At least he tried to portray a look of happiness. Only his closest friends could see the loneliness in his eyes.
Jack had said he moved on, those two and a half years ago, but Sam didn't believe him. She had yet to see him date anybody. She knew from Janet, her best friend, that he had his eye on someone, but Janet would tell her who. It was tearing her up inside, trying to figure out who it was. Daniel and Teal'c seemed to know, but they had been acting strangely around her.
Jack glanced from his son to Sam, her shining golden hair catching his eye. She looked radiant, sitting there on his back porch watching J.J. She had been his most avid supporter over the past three years, and he had gotten to know her more then, than the three years prior.
"I'm going to bring J.J. out to see his mother and brother on his birthday, even though he's so young," Jack said sadly.
"What brought this on?" Sam was startled by his change in attitude.
"J.J. saw a picture today, and asked who they were. It broke my heart." He didn't want to tell her what else J.J. had said, at least not yet.
"Well, if you want me to go with you, I will," Sam offered moving closer to him. She rested her hand on his knee.
He laid his hand on top of hers and smiled. "Thanks, Sam. I know I say that a lot, but I really do mean it." Jack leaned in and hugged her close. "Do, um, do you want to stay for dinner?" Jack asked nervously. He'd had her over before, but it had always been after she was helping with J.J. or with the rest of the team.
"I'd like that," Sam replied with a smile.
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Jack and Sam had finished their spaghetti and were sitting at the table, watching J.J. eat. The Sauce was becoming embedded in his hair and all over his face.
"All right, c'mon Buddy. Finish eating so we can go take a bath," Jack said, smiling at his son.
"J.J. picked up his fork and over exaggerated the act of biting down on his food, grinning widely. He started giggling as the spaghetti flopped against his chin. He chewed dramatically and swallowed.
His antics set Sam and Jack into hidden hysterics. "Okay, 'Ham.' Finish up." Jack grinned and nodded to the plate.
"Can Sam stay for bed?" J.J. asked. Jack could see the hope in his son's eyes, but didn't know quite what to say. Sam and J.J. were close now, Sam being around most of the time. It was a closeness Jack had dreamed of J.J. having with his mother, at least, before she died.
"Of course," Sam replied. She couldn't deny the small boy anything he wanted so badly. She could see how close Jack and his son were, but also how much their friendship meant to the child.
J.J. smiled and hurriedly gobbled up the rest of his dinner. He hopped down from his chair and brought his dinnerware to the kitchen counter.
"I'd better go start his bath water." Jack stood up and held his hand out to help Sam up.
She took it and stood, grabbing their plates and bringing them to the kitchen. She dumped them in the sink, turning on the water.
"I'll do the dishes until his bath is done." She brought the pots over from the stove and started putting the leftovers away.
"We'll come down and get you for stories." Jack turned and headed up the stairs after J.J.
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"… The end." Sam closed the storybook and laid it on the end of J.J.'s bed. Jack was laying next to J.J., rubbing the boy's back slowly. Sam nodded to him, indicating J.J. had fallen asleep.
Jack carefully got up off the bed, trying not to wake J.J. When he stood, he leaned down and kissed the boy on the top of his head. He gently ruffled his hair and stared at him.
"He's such a beautiful little boy, Jack," Sam said softly as they left the room. Jack quietly closed the door and entered the hallway.
"Yeah, isn't he?" Jack boasted proudly. "Hey, uh, you want some coffee?"
"Sure," she replied, following him down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Jack pulled the filters out of the cabinet and the coffee grounds from the freezer. He set up the coffee maker and leaned against the counter. A silence fell over the room.
Sam stared at Jack, her eyes falling to his rough and weathered hands. Oh what she wouldn't give to feel them on her at the moment, running up and down her arms, over her back.
She glanced up at his face, focusing on his eyes. They weren't hollow or empty anymore, hadn't been for over a year now. She could tell he was thinking, trying to make a decision. She'd seen that look in his eyes hundreds of times before. She grinned, thinking back to all the moments she had enjoyed looking into those eyes.
"A million bucks," he said, suddenly breaking the silence.
"What?" Sam was confused.
"Your thoughts. A penny just seems so insulting. Your thoughts are worth so much more to me, but that was the highest number I could think of." Jack answered on impulse, knowing if he actually thought about it, he would lose his cool.
He gazed deeply into the soft blue pools of her eyes, her blonde bangs falling over her forehead, almost disturbing them. 'God, she's so beautiful tonight.'
"I'm flattered," she answered smiling. That wonderful, bright smile almost brought him to his knees.
He moved closer to her, hoping maybe she could see what he was feeling. What he was feeling, those few feeling he had only admitted to himself just recently.
He hadn't been able to get that kiss off his mind. It had been wonderful, no, more like amazing. It played through his mind every time he closed his eyes, whenever he could smell her shampoo wafting off her from a distance, each time he watched her play with his son.
He had felt the way she stayed with him that night, not pushing him away like he had expected. Maybe he had read more into the kiss than what she had meant. He had thought about that almost everyday for a little over two years. He knew he was probably obsessing over it, but he saw her every day, at work or playing with J.J. He saw her inside and outside of work. The more he saw, the more he knew what was happening to him, to his feelings.
"Sam," he whispered, leaning closer to her, their eyes locking. "I…" he couldn't finish what he was saying. He leaned to only an inch away from her face. She tilted her head up to meet his, her eyes never releasing his gaze.
Their lips gently brushed together. He could taste her without ever opening his mouth. He brought his hands up to her waist and rested them on her hip bones. She brought her hands up behind his head, running her fingers through his hair, deepening the kiss.
He opened his mouth, brushing his tongue against her lips. She parted them, taking him in. He could taste her now, fully. Oh, how he missed this.
They finally pulled apart, their need for air becoming too great. They stood there, held in each others' arms, absorbed only into each other.
"I've been wanting to do that again for too long," Jack said, a small grin breaking out across his face.
"Why'd you wait two years?" Sam asked, half seriously.
"The time just never seemed right. That and I never knew your thoughts on that first kiss." He looked down at her sheepishly.
"You should have asked." She smiled back up at him.
"I know, but the opportunity never presented itself." Jack tilted her head up slightly to make sure their eyes locked. "Sam, I have a confession to make." Her eyes widened and he thought he could see a hint of fear in them.
"Oh, no, shhh, don't worry." He brought his hands up and rubbed her arms. "What I was going to say was that I haven't needed you to help me with J.J. since he was about six months old."
Her eyes lit up as he spoke, a smile creeping across her face. "I guess I have a confession as well." He startled back, not sure what to expect. "Ever since that kiss, well, let's just say I haven't been offering to come over because I thought you needed the help."
Jack's grin had broadened as he brought her into his embrace. HE let out a content sigh and rested his head on hers.
"Years, Sam. We've kept this hidden for years."
"I don't think it's been hidden, Jack. I think we were just so concerned with whether the other didn't feel the same we just missed all the signals." She relaxed in his arms, perfectly content to just be with him.
He suddenly broke away from their embrace, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Come with me." He pulled her through the kitchen, quickly grabbing the cardboard tube from of the refrigerator. He ran to the back yard where a wooden ladder had been fixed to the side of the house. Sam knew it led to the roof where Jack's telescope was perched.
"I bought something for you for your birthday, but it just never seemed right to give it to you until now." He motioned for her to head up the ladder, following her closely, 'to make sure she didn't fall.' Yeah right, nice view Doctor. He smiled once more.
"What's going on, Jack?" She turned around with her hands on her hips as soon as she reached the tiny platform built into his roof.
"Hold on, I'll show you." He stepped up to the telescope and adjusted it before motioning for Sam to look through the eyepiece. She peered in and almost gasped.
Jack's telescope was top of the line, well slightly better. It'd been a gift from the guys at NASA. A projector in the back displayed the names of the stars and planets as one looked into the eyepiece.
"Can you see that cluster of stars?" he whispered gently into her ear. He was leaning against her back, his hands resting on her hips.
She nodded, ever so slightly.
Jack punched in the coordinates he read off the piece of paper that had been in the tube, into the keypad at the base of the telescope.
Sam could see the telescope focus and zoom in on one specific star mixed into the small cluster. She could see a single word appear above it: "Sam."
"Oh, Jack!" she exclaimed, seeing what he had done.
"It was originally just a token of gratitude, but it's grown to so much more. Every person who has been special in my life has a star up there." He punched the keypad again and the telescope zoomed out just a bit. Three more names appeared over stars: "Charlie", "Sara" and "J.J."
Sam stood back straight and peering into his eyes. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I will always hold a place in my heart for Sara." He held Sam tight against him, stroking the back of her head.
"You're a fool, Jonathan O'Neill," she said, smiling into his chest. He held her at arms length, confusion lighting on his face.
"Jack, you guys weren't divorced or parted on bad terms, she died, while you were still very much in love. Of course she will always be in your heart." She paused to make sure he was looking at her. "I don't want to replace her or your memories with each other. We can make new memories to keep right there next to the old ones, and I can fill a different place in your heart. J.J., I love him so much, but I think he should know about his mother, how much she loved him, and how much you loved each other."
Jack pulled her closer to him, leaning down to kiss her. Passion danced in his eyes as he took her lips with his. They parted and he moved in, his lips brushing her ear as he spoke. "He should also know how much you love him, and how much we love each other."
Sam's eyes lit up like sapphires glittering in the sun. "Do you mean that?"
"I think so, but each time we're together I grow more certain of it. I was a walking shell, just going through the motions to keep J.J. and myself alive after Sara died. When you started helping me, I started looking at you differently and suddenly I had something to live for. You've brought me so much joy these past years, I don't know what I'd do without you."
Jack's little heartfelt speech brought tears to her eyes as she pulled him in for another kiss. Her fingers interlocked behind his head as she deepened the kiss, eliciting a surprised hiss from him.
He quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around her. He could feel the passion and desire coursing through her and knew she could feel the same from him.
He pulled back sharply, catching the look of confusion flash across her face before he could explain. He reached over and turned off the telescope, still clinging to Sam with one arm.
"We should really move this inside," he whispered into her ear. His breath moving across her neck sent shivers down her spine. She nodded and followed him down the ladder.
He led her through the kitchen and up the stairs. He realized just how late it had gotten as they reached the upper hallway. Without releasing Sam, he quickly checked in on J.J. to make sure he was okay. They boy was asleep in the middle of his bed, his Clifford sheets still pulled up over his shoulders.
Satisfied he quietly shut the door and pulled Sam across and down the hall to his room. He knew where this night was headed and he wanted it to be special, not in the kitchen, or on the couch, or even up on his roof, although that sounded kind of nice, but proper and special, just for her.
He backed her up against the wall, the passion mounting in his kisses. His hands found the hem of her shirt and started exploring her heated skin. He could feel her goosebump at his cool touch.
"Jack," she moaned huskily, pushing him away. He followed her gaze back to the bed. He looked into her eyes seriously.
"Are you sure?" he asked, lifting her chin in his hand.
"Jack, if you don't-"
"No, no," he interrupted softly. "I just don't want you to feel like we have to just because we're in the bedroom."
"Oh you could never make me do anyone, I mean anything I didn't want to do," she smiled mischievously.
"Well then… if you insist," he grinned back. He pulled her backwards and laid her on the bed. He lay down next to her, stroking her hair out of her eyes.
"I wasn't planning this," he told her softly. "I don't have any condoms."
"Don't worry about it, this time," she reassured him. He pulled her close and hungrily kissed her swollen lips.
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Jack slowly awoke to the soft light filtering through his bedroom window. A grin crept across his face as he recounted the events of the night before. He tried to move his arm but found it stuck where it was. He looked down and saw his arms was tucked under Sam, her head resting on his bare chest.
He gently rolled her onto her side and sat up. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and found his pajama bottoms. Throwing them on quickly, he covered Sam to keep her from catching a chill. He sat for a moment, watching her sleep before heading downstairs.
The coffee from the night before had been forgotten at the time, now stood cold in the pot. He turned the machine on and warmed it up so Sam could have some when she awoke.
He could hear soft, quick steps enter behind him. "Good morning, J.J. You want some Cheerios?" He turned to face his son who had flopped himself into one of the kitchen chairs.
"Okay, Dad." J.J. smiled widely. "Is Sam going to eat breakfast with us?"
Jack stopped suddenly, surprised at how aware his three-year-old son was. An idea quickly flashed through his mind and he knelt down to J.J., smiling.
"I don't know, maybe you could wake her gently and ask." Jack patted his head as the boy jumped off the chair and ran upstairs. He stood grinning as he watched J.J. turn the corner ecstatically.
Moments later he watched as J.J. pulled Sam, wrapped in one of his large robes, by the hand down the stairs.
"Here she is, Daddy!" J.J. grinned proudly and led her to his father.
He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her forehead. "Morning, Sleepy head," he grinned.
"Mmmm, coffee," she murmured sleepily.
"Well, it's nice to know I'm good for something," Jack laughed.
"Thank you, Jack. After last night I wasn't sure I'd be able to wake up this morning," she barely whispered in reply.
"Ooo, way to boost my ego dear. I didn't know I had that kind of stamina." He picked up the carafe and poured some coffee for Sam. "You're lucky we don't have to go into work today."
"Don't I know it."
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It was J.J.'s fourth birthday and Jack was making good on his promise. Sam hung back a bit, allowing Jack the special time with his son. She watched him lay the flowers J.J. had picked from the cabin on the graves as he explained to J.J. who the people were. She couldn't hear what was being said, but could see that J.J. was asking questions.
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Jack stood with one hand on J.J.'s shoulder, the other carefully placing J.J.'s wildflowers on the headstones.
The first flowers he placed on a headstone with the picture of a small boy in his little league uniform engraved under the inscription.
"Charles Tyler O'Neill
1977-1987
Beloved Son, Gone too Soon."
"This is your brother, Charlie," Jack told J.J., his eyes tearing slowly.
"Where does he live?" J.J. asked innocently.
Jack choked back his reply. "I don't know, with mommy I suppose."
"But…" J.J.'s voice trailed off. Jack could tell he was deep in thought. The boy had the same look on his face he himself had often been subject to. "Daddy, I've never seen anybody at Sam's before."
Jack allowed the corner of his mouth raise just enough to not feel like he was being disrespectful towards Sara.
"Charlie's body sleeps here, under the grass." Jack stopped for a moment to lay more flowers onto the next headstone.
"Sara Michelle O'Neill
1951-1990
Beloved mother, wife and the love of my life."
"J.J., this is your mom, here," he said shakily. "She died giving you to me." He laid his arm across J.J.'s shoulders. "She loved you so much, but Charlie was all alone. She had to go take care of him. She knew we would take care of each other."
"Why can't Sam be my mom?" J.J. asked almost sadly. He looked up at Jack questioningly.
"I don't know what to tell you, Bud. Sam loves you very much. Your mother loved you so much. We tried to save her, especially for you," Jack explained. He really hadn't been sure how this day was going to go, he didn't know how much J.J. would understand.
"Hmm," was all J.J. said before turning around to walk back to Sam. "Can I meet them?"
"No, Buddy, I'm sorry. Not for a very long time."
"Okay," J.J. ran back to where Sam was waiting and threw his arms around her.
Jack approached and gave her a small kiss. He put his arm around her shoulders and said, "I don't think he understands quite yet."
"He's only four," Sam shrugged. "He will someday."
"I know," Jack sighed.
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The ride back to the house was silent. Not uncomfortable, just thoughtful. Jack was thinking about what J.J. had said about Sam. It was the same thought he'd had over the past month. They'd been together for eight months now and he was wondering where they were headed. He loved her now, he knew, and J.J.'s question had brought him to realize those feelings. He knew what he wanted to do now, what he had to do.
"Jack?" He barely heard Sam speak. He was concentrating on his thoughts while driving.
"Hmm?" he responded, his eyebrows rising. He glanced in the rearview mirror. J.J. had fallen asleep in his car seat.
"What were you thinking? You were kind of far away there." Sam rested her hand on his thigh and looked up at him.
"You'll find out, eventually. Don't worry. He pulled the Jeep into the driveway next to Sam's Mustang. He jumped out and ran to Sam's side, helping her out. He literally picked her up out of her seat and set her down gently.
"Jack, what are you doing?" she laughed.
"I don't know, I just felt like this." After Sam was on her feet in the driveway he handed her his keys. She ran up and unlocked the house.
Jack leaned into the backseat of the Jeep and carefully unbuckled J.J. He picked him up in his arms, cradling the child as he brought him into the house.
Sam quickly made her way back outside to retrieve their belongings and locked the Jeep. Earlier in the day they had thrown a party for J.J. at the park. It had seemed like half the SGC had shown up. With all the presents J.J. had gotten, they decided to just leave them in the vehicle until morning. Sam carried the utensils into the kitchen and dumped them in the sink
She hurried upstairs and into J.J.'s room as Jack was pulling the covers up to his chin. He kissed his forehead and sat on the edge of the bed.
Sam approached and sat down next to him. The two of them sat in silence for a while, staring at the boy's sleeping face. It portrayed the blissful ignorance of children. She envied him, not knowing the pain his parents had been through. She wrapped her arm around Jack's waist as he brushed his hand through his son's hair. She noticed he was holding something in his other hand.
"What's that?" she asked softly, not wanting to wake J.J.
Jack held the object in his hand turning it over and over again. "I found this photo the other night," he replied in a whisper. He handed the picture in frame to Sam so she could take a closer look at it. There was just enough light filtering through the hall for her to see that it was a photograph of Sara and Charlie together. Sara had her arms wrapped around the boy and they were sitting in a large patch of grass, looking so happy. It was not unlike the picture Daniel had snapped of her and J.J. earlier that day.
"That was the last picture on the roll I shot the day before Charlie died. I dropped it in the mail the next morning. They must have been delivered during the confusion because I was going through my closet and found the unopened envelope in the back of my closet." Jack had immediately gone and bought a solid oak frame for the picture. It was now J.J.'s birthday present, his own photo of his mom and brother.
Sam pulled out the post on the back of the frame and set it on J.J.'s dresser. "We can make sure he never loses it." She smiled at Jack, knowing he was probably nervous about her reaction.
"God, Sam, how do you do it?" She looked up at him. There was love and amazement in his eyes. "You've been so good to us the past four years and you've handled this whole situation so well."
"Jack, there is no situation." Jack looked at her, his confusion obvious. "You and Sara were married, had two kids together. You and J.J. need to keep her somewhere in your hearts. But I hope you can eventually love me to the same magnitude."
"Oh, we already do, Sam. We already do." Jack stood and held out his hand. She took it and they made their way to the bedroom.
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Jack was the first to step through the Gate to P4C-734. Daniel quickly followed, spreading out, wary for any hostiles. The MALP hadn't shown any signs of life, but they had been deceived before. Teal'c came through followed closely by Sam. Teal'c watched over her like a hawk, she hadn't looked so good in the Gateroom.
"Okay, people stay on your guard. Daniel, do your thing, Teal'c go with him in case he finds signs of the Goa'uld. I'll stay with Sam while she takes her samples." Jack stood protectively next to Sam, he'd noticed her looking a little green as well. She gave him a sheepish grin from where she was crouched on the ground. Deep down he thought he saw a flash of fear in her eyes.
Daniel and Teal'c quickly moved off, staying alert.
"Sam, are you okay?" Jack was concerned. She had been sick earlier, staying all morning in the bathroom. She had already been in there when he'd woken up.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Her face was flushed, but she carefully stood to start her work.
"Okay, but I want you to see the Doc when we get back." Jack hugged her and returned to keeping watch.
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"Sam, I don't want you going through that Gate again until we know what effect it will have on you," Janet said sternly, trying to make Sam listen. Janet wanted to laugh to herself. Over the last four years, Sam had become so much like the Colonel and he like her it was almost scary.
"Janet, that's my job, my work. It's what I do to keep from going insane," Sam protested half-heartedly. She knew it was useless to argue, but she could always try.
"Sam, I want you to go home and get some rest. And talk to Jack, he might have some ideas," Janet suggested.
"How did this happen? None have ever broken," Sam muttered almost to herself. "Janet, I need to go pick up J.J. from his grandfather's after the debriefing, can I go get cleaned up now?"
"Yes, but remember what I told you. I'm sending my report to General Hammond, unless you would like to bring it to him yourself. Just keep it easy for a few days until we're sure about the missions." Janet patted Sam's shoulder and walked her to the door. Sam gave her a weak smile as she left.
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Sam silently entered the briefing room and sat down next to Jack. He put a reassuring arm around her shoulders and pulled her chair closer.
She nauseously sat through the debriefing, only adding in her two cents when asked. She was only paying enough attention to answer whatever questions they had for her. She barely noticed when Hammond dismissed them.
"Dr. Carter?" Hammond asked bringing her out of her daze.
"Sorry, Sir."
"Dr. Carter, is something the matter?" Teal'c asked her. There was no emotion on his face but she could hear the concern in his voice.
"No, Teal'c. General Hammond, may I talk to you in private?" She noticed Daniel and Teal'c glancing at her, but tried to ignore the confused, hurt look on Jack's face. Of course he's hurt, you're telling your boss before him.
She followed Hammond into his office and shut the door.
"Here's my chart and the test results from my post mission physical." She handed him the file and sat down.
Hammond sat at his desk and opened the file folder. He wasn't as shocked as she thought he would have been. It was almost as if he had expected it.
"I agree with Dr. Fraiser. I'm putting SG-1 on stand down until we figure out if this is dangerous to your health." Hammond paused, a concerned look in his eyes. He had known General Carter for most of his military career, and Sam all her life. "Does Jack know?"
"Not yet," Sam answered, lowering her eyes, ashamed. This could be detrimental to her career, although not as much as if she had actually been in the military. She could remember hearing her father talk about officers within a chain of command throw away their careers to pursue a romantic relationship. All she was concerned about now was being allowed back on SG-1.
"Talk to him, Sam. We'll let you know when Janet finishes her tests. Go home and get some rest, maybe get Jack to drive you home." Hammond stood and helped Sam up.
She smiled. "He has to drive me, or he has to find a ride home."
"Tell the rest of SG-1 they can go home until further notice." He gave her a hug before she left.
"Sam!" Jack shouted as she closed the door to Hammond's office. He dismissed the Airman he was talking to and ran up to her.
"Everything okay, honey?" he asked placing his hand on the small of her back.
"Yeah, don't worry," she was feeling tired and cranky and wasn't really up to talking, especially to him.
"I don't know what's going on, but I trust you to tell me when you're ready," he said walking with her to the lab.
"Janet's sending me home, SG-1 has been put on stand down until further notice." She unlocked her door and headed into her office.
Jack walked past her to the phone as she gathered her files to bring home. He tracked down Daniel and Teal'c to notify them of their small vacation.
"C'mon, let's go home," he said, hanging up the phone.
"Don't we have to pick up J.J.?" she asked as Jack took her files and carried them for her. He was worried, after her amazing upchuck reflexes that morning and her attitude after the mission. She seemed almost depressed.
"Dad's keeping him tonight, sort of as a favor, so he says." Jack flashed his dazzling white smile down to her. Mike wanted to take J.J. fishing, seeing as it was Friday.
"I made reservations at O'Malley's for tonight. We can have a nice calm night out, just the two of us. I can still cancel if you want to stay in." Jack pushed the button for the up elevator. "You look beautiful today," he said leaning in to whisper in her ear.
She blushed as she stepped onto the elevator. Jack tucked the folders under his arm and pulled Sam close. He kissed her forehead gently. She leaned up giving him access to her lips. The kiss was slow and soft, intimate despite their location.
"I love you," he whispered, touching his forehead to hers.
"I love you, too."
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Jack and Sam sat at a small table in the back corner of O'Malley's; the server had just taken away their dinner plates. Jack had laid his credit card down to pay the bill.
"Sam," Jack paused, not really sure how to word what he wanted to say. It had been a long time since he had done this. He fingered the small box in his pocket, turning it over and over again.
Sam looked up at him, noticing the nervousness written across his face.
"Sam," he started again. "You mean so much to me. You started out as my friend, then my friend helping me raise my son, and now you're so much more. I love you so much." He slid off the chair and onto one knee. "Sam, will you marry me?" He opened the small box, exposing a beautiful diamond ring.
Sam jumped up, knocking back her chair. "Janet told you?" she shouted. She turned and ran out of the restaurant to the car.
Jack stood, rubbing his sore knee, grabbed the card and the receipt, and ran after her. He saw her sitting on the trunk of her car and walked up to her, rubbing his hands along her upper arms.
"You don't have to do the right thing Jack. I think I've proven I can handle myself." Sam sniffed never looking into his eyes.
"Sam, I haven't talked to Janet since my physical, and she wouldn't say a word. Can you tell me what's going on?" He lifted her chin to look into her eyes.
"Do you really want to marry me?" Sam asked, tears in her eyes. He could feel she was scared of his answer.
"I love you, Sam. Will you marry me?" he asked again.
"Jack…" she paused, her fear mounting. "I'm…" She didn't know how to tell him. She didn't want to just blurt it out. "Can we just go home for now?"
"Sam, you're obviously upset. Do you want to go back to your house?" Jack asked. She had spent an increasing amount of time at his house, hardly ever spending any time at her own home.
"No, it's okay, let's just go back to your place." Sam hopped down from her car and climbed into the passenger seat. Jack moved around to the driver's side and started the vehicle.
The drive home continued in silence. Of course halfway home, the reason for that silence changed. Sam had fallen asleep due to sheer exhaustion. Jack was now kicking himself for not automatically canceling the reservations as soon as Janet had sent her home.
As he reached the house, he pulled carefully into the driveway, trying not to jostle the vehicle too much. He hopped out of his side and ran to Sam, carefully opening the door and unbuckling her. He got his keys ready in his hand and picked her up.
Jack carried her into the house and slowly made his way up the stairs to the bedroom. He pulled back the covers and laid her down gently, pulling off her shoes and throwing them to the floor. He found her 'Jack's House' set of pajamas and changed her into them without waking her up.
He smiled, knowing how tired Janet had said she was. She had refused to say anything else about her condition, though, leaving Jack confused. She had told him to let her rest and not to upset her. Looked like he wasn't doing to great so far.
He kissed her on the forehead and pulled the covers up to her chin. He left the room to lock up before returning to join her in the bed.
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Jack woke up to the early morning sun filtering into the room through the shades. The sunlight shone in Sam's hair causing an almost halo effect around her. He brushed his hand across her cheek and rolled over to stand.
He headed downstairs to the kitchen, his stomach growling loudly. He decided on cereal, knowing that if he cooked anything, he ran the risk of making Sam sick.
He finished his cereal quickly and put in some toast for Sam. Dry toast, it had always worked for him when he was sick; Charlie and J.J., too.
He sat thinking of the night before. Why had she been acting so weird lately? She had been cold to him, after the mission, ignoring him and heading straight for the infirmary. She had acted even stranger during the debriefing, and she had asked to speak to Hammond alone. What was so important, so scary that she felt she couldn't tell him?
The toast popped up, breaking him away from his thoughts. He put it on a plate and brought it up to Sam. She was just awakening as he entered the room.
"You didn't eat much last night, thought I'd make you some toast." He sat on the bed next to her, setting the plate on the nightstand. He helped her sit up and gave her the toast.
She readily ate, hoping it wouldn't come back up. She felt weak again almost immediately. She leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes.
"Jack, we need to talk," she said quietly, her eyes still closed.
"About what Janet told you?" he replied nervously.
"Yeah…"
"Sam, I'm here for you, no matter what," he reassured her. He grasped her hand and held it tight to emphasize his point. Thoughts raced through his head, most of them flashing to some sort of sickness. 'She's dying,' he thought. Of course he would jump to the worst-case scenario. 'She's got some sort of cancer or terminal illness.'
"Jack, there's a reason I've been sick and tired, and moody, lately." Jack braced himself for the inevitable. "I don't know how to tell you this." Now he was deathly afraid. He didn't want to lose another woman he loved. "I'm uh… we're… I'm pregnant."
Sam lowered her eyes then quickly switched her gaze to the window. She caught the shock on his face, but turned away before she saw the joy. 'Oh, no, he's upset. Of course, J.J.'s still so young.'
"Sam, honey, could you please look at me?" Jack asked, the relief so evident in his voice it made Sam jump. She turned her head to look at him. "Is that all this is? You're pregnant?" He was openly smiling now.
She nodded.
"When'd you find out?"
"Yesterday, after we returned from offworld. I'm the reason we're on stand down." Sam's fingers were fidgeting, rubbing against the hem of the sheet.
"Good. How far along?" Jack held her hand, rubbing circles with his thumb.
"Don't know, Janet's not done with the tests."
"Honey, you look so upset." Sam just shrugged. "That's why you thought I was proposing? Is it so hard to believe I'd ask you to marry me because I love you?" He was hurt, she could tell.
Jack shook his head back and forth. "Sam we've been together for almost a year. I love you, and I believe that we could be so happy as a family."
"I'm sorry, Jack. I don't know what came over me. I guess I was just being a little selfish. I don't want to stop going through the Gate, but I've got someone else, well actually three more people to worry about."
"Three?" Jack asked, feigning ignorance.
"Well, the baby, J.J. and you." Sam smiled. She actually knew what she was thinking, saying, doing for the first time in over a week.
"Are you saying what I think you are?" Jack was overjoyed. His smile shone brighter than the morning sun.
"Yes, Jack, I'll marry you."
He jumped up, trying not to jolt the bed too much and hugged Sam tightly. He kissed her softly on the lips, not wanting to make her sick.
"I, um, talked to your father last month, back when I was still only most of the way sure." Jack laid down next to her on the bed. He propped himself up on one arm, the other draped delicately across her stomach, his fingers caressing her hip.
"Only most of the way…" she quoted, almost hurt. Her eyebrow raised.
"I thought I was sure, but then J.J. said something that made me realize before that point there had still been a slight hesitation. Last night, though, I was never more sure about anything." He rubbed his hand against her belly. It was amazing, his third child.
"What did he say?" Sam asked. She knew J.J. well enough to know that he realized more about his surroundings than most kids his age, and he was one very deep thinker.
"I introduced him to Charlie and J.J. asked where he lived. I told him I didn't know, but probably with his mother. He told me he'd never seen anyone at your house before." Jack sighed, a tear in his eye. His worst fear, well almost worst, for J.J. was now so remote a possibility it wasn't even worth glancing at.
Sam's jaw dropped. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to take Sara's place, but that sure seemed like what was going on.
"That wasn't just it, though. He's been giving me hints all along, I think. He once asked me how he got two moms. Lately, he's been slipping up and calling you mom, but I didn't know if you noticed." Jack didn't seem to stop smiling, even at the memory of Sara. He knew she would want her boys to be happy, and that she would only want Jack to marry someone J.J. loved as well.
"Sam, you've supported me, been there for me, every step of the way, from the very beginning, and you've been there every time J.J. has needed you. Can I tell you something else?" Jack's grin grew wider. "I know what he wished for his birthday."
"Hmm?" Sam replied sleepily.
"A baby." That snapped her eyes open immediately. "A baby sister, to be specific."
Sam just sat for a moment, not moving. Slowly, almost unnoticeably, the corners of her mouth turned upwards. "I guess we'll just see what we can do for him, but you, Jack O'Neill, seem to have a knack for boys."
"You look exhausted, go back to sleep." He rolled her onto her left side and spooned up to her until she fell asleep.
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Mike pulled into the driveway, mid-afternoon Sunday. J.J. was asleep in his carseat in the back. It was a long drive back from the lake where his cabin was located. He was just glad it wasn't as far away as Jack's.
Speak of the devil. Jack came rushing out the door, a huge grin on his face. He opened the back door and started unbuckling the little boy.
"How was he?" he asked, lifting the sleeping boy onto his shoulder.
"Great. It's so hard to believe he's your son," Mike joked. "Definitely takes after Sara. He wouldn't stop talking. Mostly about you and Sam." He paused. "Speaking of which, how'd it go?"
"Mmm, a little troublesome at first. Dad, you sure you're okay with this?" Jack opened the front door and set J.J.'s bag down in the hallway. He laid him on the couch and covered him with a blanket.
"Of course, Jack. You guys need her and she needs you. Sara would want you to be happy. It's been four years.," Mike answered, sitting down in one of Jack's easy chairs.
"Thanks, cause, uh, she said 'yes'." Jack stayed sitting on the couch, rubbing J.J.'s back.
"Congratulations. J.J.'ll be ecstatic. Any idea on a date yet?" Mike stood up and walked into the kitchen. He returned carrying two bottles of beer. Handing one to Jack, he sat back down.
"We got some test results back yesterday. We've got about two months before she won't fit in that dress she's had her eye on for months." Jack's eyes shone bright with pure joy.
Mike was glad' it had been years since he had seen that look on the younger man's face. Maybe for those few months he had gotten Sara back, but those moments had been few and far between since Charlie's death.
Though Jack was his daughter's widower, he was like his own son to him. He was glad to see that Jack was moving forward with his life.
"Jack, you know you mean more to me than just Sara's husband, the father of my grandsons. You're like my own flesh and blood." Mike took a sip of his beer.
"But?"
"Hm, no but. I was just wondering if I could have the honor of not being known only as Charlie and J.J.'s grandfather." Mike kept his eyes lock on Jack, trying to gauge his reaction.
"Of course, it's the least we could do. The General already asked about J.J." Jack looked at his sleeping son, pride in his eyes.
"So, when's she due?" Mike sounded more like his buddy now, not just his former father-in-law.
"Janet said sometime around Christmas. God, Dad, I still don't know how we did this." Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Mike could tell he was happy, maybe just a little confused.
"Jack, this is your third kid, I'm sure you know the facts of life by now," Mike joked.
Jack glanced back and grinned. "No, I mean, we've always been careful. None have ever broken, to my knowledge anyway. I even make sure I have condoms in my pack in case we're ever stuck… Oh, sorry, forgot who I was talkin' to." Jack looked a little embarrassed.
"What, because I'm Sara's father?"
"No, because what we do is classified." Jack was surprisingly comfortable talking to Mike like this. Just one more person who had to suffer because what he did was classified.
"You were going to say 'in case you were ever stuck off world,'" Mike said suddenly. He caught the shock fly across Jack's face.
"When I was brought on base that night Sara died, I could tell something wasn't right. There were lights flashing and alarms blaring as I stepped out of the elevator. Before the Airman could rush me back in, I heard the PA blare 'Unscheduled Off world Activation.' Jack, I can tell Sam doesn't work in Deep Space Radar Telemetry, for that matter neither do you. I know you're not allowed to talk about it, but I'm just letting you know I understand."
"Just don't let on that you know or Maybourne and the rest of the NID scum will be all over you." Jack stroked small circles on J.J.'s back as much in comfort to the small boy as to himself.
H relaxed significantly. In just a few months, six and a half according to Janet, they were going to have another child. He smiled as he contemplated that. They. Sam as already such a wonderful mother to J.J., and he wanted to make it official, not just because she was pregnant with his child, but because he loved her, deeply.
"I honestly still don't get it. I didn't want her to have to make this choice so early in our relationship. Career or family? I wanted her to have time to think about it. I wanted her to have a nice, long engagement, a perfectly planned wedding."
"Maybe there's a reason," Mike suggested. Jack shot him a look, completely indecipherable. It was somewhere between, "for cryin' out loud" and "do you really think so?" "It could have been fate's way of pushing you forth. What if something had happened while you were just engaged? You guys have dangerous jobs. Besides, you have J.J., it was a career/family decision from the beginning."
Mike stood, clapping Jack on the shoulder. He paused to stare at his sleeping grandson, the only piece of Sara he had left.
"He's a great kid, Jack. He loves you both. You'll all do fine." With that, he left.
"I hope so," Jack muttered to the now empty room.
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"Jack, stop fidgeting!" Daniel clamped down on his friend's shoulders hard. He checked him over once more, making sure his dress blues were straight and clean.
They were in Jack's bedroom, getting ready, Sam having been forced to get dressed at her house then wait at Jack's neighbor's. Jacob Carter sat on the bed next to J.J., Mike on the other side of the boy.
"So, what do you think of all this hub-bub?" Jacob asked J.J., nudging the boy.
"My shoes pinch and my suit smells like fish!" J.J. wrinkled his nose. "Grampa Jake, can I tell you a secret?"
Jacob nodded, shooting Jack a confused look. Jack just shrugged back. J.J. motioned for Jacob and Mike to lean in.
"Sam looks beautiful today," he said with a smile.
"Shhh. Not too loud, want your Daddy to be surprised," Mike whispered back.
Teal'c stepped into the room and looked directly at Daniel. "Captain Jackson, Colonel O'Neill's presence has been requested to start the ceremony."
"Guess that's my cue." Jack quickly made his way to the backyard. He walked to the frond of the audience, signaling the start of the ceremony.
Daniel and Janet walked in first. Daniel winked at Jack as he let go of Janet and took his place by his side. Mike came in next with Sam's sister-in-law, followed by Teal'c and Sha'uri. J.J. walked carefully up the aisle, balancing the tiny pillow on his palms. Tay followed as the flower girl.
Finally, when Jack thought he could stand it no longer, he heard the preacher announce for everybody to stand. He intently watched down the aisle for Jacob and Sam.
He watched her approach through the back gate of the tall picket fence. Their eyes locked immediately onto one another, their joy shining through for all to see.
'You're beautiful,' Jack mouthed to her. She smiled and tilted her head downwards. He watched her trail her hand across her stomach as she neared him.
As Jacob handed her off to Jack, leaned forward. "I love ya, Jack, but if you ever hurt my Sammy…" Jack nodded quickly, letting Jacob know he knew he was serious. He took Sam's hand in his and stood in front of the preacher ready to begin.
A/N: Okay so in the AU O'Malley's is a fancy restaraunt and all that. i took J.J.'s actions from my little bro Eric who tends to eat spaghetti just like that. And on that note, this is the end of the telling of the past, next part will go back to the present, and if ne body didn't notice, events took place earlier in their timeline than in the current one. thanks!