If You Don't, Don't
01: Everyone Hates Malfoy
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I do own this lousy – Eh, scratch that. Title is from the track by Jimmy Eat World. This story has nothing to do with the song. Ha.
History: (Pre-HBP.) Final year. I have not been living under a rock. I've read HBP, and I understood it (and love it!). Draco Malfoy let Death Eaters into the school and later ran off with them, and Dumbledore is dead. But I love D/Hr and Hogwarts and Dumbledore, so let's just pretend Draco didn't do all that stupid stuff. Be nice and play along.
Summary: When Ron Weasley hexed Draco Malfoy, no one expected it to go wrong and cause Malfoy to suffer from amnesia. No one expected Dumbledore to refuse to restore him. And no one expected Hermione Granger to have to take care of him. Well, of course no one would expect them to fall for each other. And naturally, no one will ever expect Draco to have something up his own sleeve. No expections.
Hermione Granger swung the enchanted book bag over her shoulders as she strode down the hallway, a look of resolution and restrained anger on her pretty little face.
He wasn't at the Prefects' meeting. That much was for certain. One hour of frantic discussion came and went and the Head Boy was still missing in action. One hour of frantic discussion came and went and the Head Girl was still seething. Ron had to nudge her to adjoin the meeting, breaking up thoughts of attacking Draco Malfoy.
That was the second meeting in a row he had missed.
She stormed into the library, ignored the piercing glare from Madame Pince, and quickly scanned the occupants. She was out of the room like a harassed whirlwind when she saw that none of the occupants remotely resembled the target of her ire.
She nearly bumped into Ron Weasley, whom she knew had been following her at a safe distance ever since she left the meeting room. She simply shrugged him aside and continued her one-minded search for the Slytherin.
"Erm. Hermione, wait! Do calm down! Malfoy's a pain in the arse. Everybody knows that. There's no need to get so worked up," Ron was now by her side, struggling to match her every step.
"No need to get so worked up!" She repeated incredulously, letting out a mirthless laugh. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to share a Common Room with that…that…" she frantically searched her mind for an appropriate word fit for a Head Girl, but gave up when she couldn't find a word that wasn't rude.
Shaking her head as if to clear it, she continued to speak, "he drags his muddy Quidditch boots all across the Common Room, even onto the couch! He spills crumbs of food all over the room, and oh, he will always find a way to spill something all over my parchments which I have forgotten to put away. Our laundry comes together, and he would dump mine all over the muddy carpet! And…and…" Hermione trailed off as she remembered the night when she heard strange noises in the Common Room and had come down to find Malfoy and some random girl half-naked and entangled in a rather unsightly manner. She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks as her traitorous mind brought up the image and she shook her head again to dismiss it.
Ron noticed her newly acquired rouge and inaccurately attributed it to breathlessness after walking and talking so fast at the same time. "Hermione," he attempted to cut in.
"And well, don't even ask me how it's like to work with him because I don't know! Yes, I don't know, because I never had the privilege of working with him." Ron watched helplessly as Hermione launched right back to her tirade, never breaking stride as she spoke. He knew she didn't like living under the same roof as Malfoy. He and Harry didn't exactly adore that idea either. School had only begun for less than a month. He had no idea how he could handle more of Hermione's outbursts.
Malfoy was a pain, but he was no menace. Heck, he was a stinking coward. All he even did was little petty stuff which didn't matter. His father was another piece of work entirely. Ron wrinkled his nose at the thought of Lucius Malfoy, recalling all the awful stories his father told him, half-aware that Hermione was still going on about Malfoy Junior.
"Responsibility! He probably never heard of that word!" She was saying when Ron stumbled over a haphazardly positioned rock and finally snapped to attention. They were crossing the courtyard. He spied Harry with the rest of the Quidditch team at one corner and waved him over.
"Are you even listening?" Hermione demanded and Ron immediately turned back to her, nodding under her disgruntled glare.
Harry caught up to them and shot a questioning look at Ron, who answered his question before Hermione could repeat her rant. "Malfoy didn't show at the Prefects' meeting."
"What? Isn't he Head Boy? He's supposed to chair it, isn't he?" Harry asked, falling easily into stride with the both of them.
Hermione found the opening she needed, "Exactly! But where is he? I don't know! Nobody knows! Nobody bloody knows!"
Ron shrugged and leaned closer to Harry, whispering, "she has been at it for the past hour."
"Must be that time of the month," Harry whispered back.
Hermione abruptly halted and whirled around and Ron immediately put on his innocent countenance, shaking his head. Harry was doing the same, holding up his hands defensively in front of him.
"I hate it when boys blame everything on a girl's period! For Merlin's sake, my current state of mind has nothing to do with my menstruation cycle!" Shaking her own head as if exasperated at dealing with the two immature boys, she turned and continued her journey across the courtyard, Harry and Ron close behind her.
"Where are we going?" Harry ventured as Hermione stepped into the Great Hall and came right back out. Evidently, the man of the hour was not in the Great Hall.
"I don't know," Hermione answered honestly, "but I will tear down this school to find that…that ferret!"
Harry and Ron shared an amused look, simultaneously agreeing not to leave Hermione out of their sight until she got her temper under control. They spent the next half an hour turning the school upside down searching for Malfoy. Finally, she slumped against one of the columns lining the hallway, her anger exhausted. Harry and Ron flanked each side of her.
"Forget it, Hermione. You'll see him when you see him," Harry offered.
Hermione let out a defeated sigh, "I don't care anymore." She abruptly straightened up, "I can handle the Prefects' duties all by myself. I don't need Malfoy's help." Then she slumped back down again, "Come on, I have some snacks in my room we can all share."
She laughed when she saw the boys brighten up immediately at the thought of food.
"Sorry, I haven't eaten a thing since Quidditch practice," Harry admitted sheepishly.
They reached the portrait and Hermione paused to grace the elderly man with a smile.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Godwick."
The elderly man with white flowing bread turned to her, looking completely distraught, "oh, hello there."
Hermione gave the password and was surprised when the man hesitated. She frowned, "did the password change?"
Mr. Godwick hurriedly shook his head and looked as if he was about to say something, but he seemed to decide against it and simply allowed the portrait to swing open, allowing the trio entrance. Hermione smiled her thanks and had one foot past the portrait hole before she froze, feeling her cheeks warm up at the sight before her, along with a sudden surge of renewed anger. Ron had already looked past her shoulders and seen the couple in the Common Room.
"Lavender!" He exclaimed at his on-and-off girlfriend, effectively shrugging past Hermione and tearing into the room.
Draco Malfoy tumbled off the couch and landed in an unceremonious heap on the floor, letting out a yelp. Lavender Brown grabbed her otherwise forgotten robe from the side of the couch and clutched it guilty to her, wide-eyed.
"Malfoy!" Ron glared daggers as the Slytherin Head Boy straightened up and calmly rearranged his robes, flicking away an invisible dust speck. Hermione glared at him. Unbelievable. He was in the Common Room all along, enjoying a snogging session when he was supposed to be in a meeting.
"When should we do it again?" Malfoy addressed his question to Lavender, completely ignoring the new arrivals.
Seething, Hermione whipped out her wand, bent on teaching the Slytherin filth a proper lesson, but she was forestalled by an incoherent holler and a flash of blinding white light emitted. Before she could comprehend the situation, she saw Malfoy crumple up and fall into a heap against the brick wall.
She turned towards the source and watched as shock, anger and joyful triumph chased one another across Ron's face. Lavender, done with adjusting her clothing, went up to Ron.
"I'm sorry, Ron. I can explain," she tried.
"That was Malfoy!" Ron stated, unbelieving. He shook his head as Lavender opened her mouth to speak, "Don't bother explaining. It doesn't matter." Ron pulled Lavender away from him and strode out of the room, dignified. Lavender followed, looking as if she was about to burst into tears. Harry shot a look at the sleeping form rumpled next to the fireplace, and then glanced at Hermione.
"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Hermione gestured at the portrait hole worriedly, "I'll take care of Malfoy."
After Harry left, she slumped down onto the abandoned couch and marveled at the hilarity of the situation. Malfoy and Lavender. She smiled, remembering Malfoy's bewildered expression as he tumbled onto the carpet. Another glance at the current state of Malfoy and she was clutching her stomach with unsuppressed mirth. For once, Ron had performed a spell without any glitch, and she was glad he had done so in this case.
She peered closely at Malfoy, wondering which hex Ron used. She didn't catch the wording of the spell. Must be some sort of hex rendering the target unconscious. Malfoy looked as if he could sleep on through the night. Hermione briefly considered decorating his face while he slept and had to fight down more bouts of laughter at the mental image. She shook her head, abandoning the idea. She wasn't that daring.
She picked up her book bag, needing to get some homework by the end of the day. She paused and glanced at Malfoy. She definitely did not want to be near Malfoy when he finally wakes. He was bound to be seething mad and looking to unleash his wrath on everyone and anyone. Making her decision, she deserted Malfoy in the Common Room and went into her own room. When she next came back out, it was dinnertime. She stopped by Malfoy's motionless form and frowned. She was about to reach for him when there was a shout from outside the portrait. It was Harry, waiting to walk with her to the Great Hall.
Throwing a glance back at Malfoy, she went out to greet Harry. According to Harry, Ron had decided to skip dinner and wallow in his room. They had a peaceful and quiet dinner with Ginny and several other Gryffindors. On their way out, Harry stopped to pick out some food for Ron. Hermione hesitated before picking up another plate and piling food upon it.
"Hermione, I think one plate is enough for Ron," Harry stated.
Hermione shook her head, "this is for Malfoy."
Harry raised an eyebrow, frowning, "Malfoy?"
"Yeah, he is bound to be starving when he finally wakes," Hermione explained, "it'll be better to have him stuffing his face than threatening to kill me and Ron."
"Hermione, you do realized that you wanted to maim him just hours ago?" Harry reminded her. "He was having a full blown snogging session when he was supposed to be in a meeting."
"Yes, I know, but he still has to eat," Hermione gestured at the food piled high on the plate.
"He won't appreciate it," Harry sighed.
"I'm not looking for appreciation."
"He won't forgive Ron easily either," Harry added. "They will be at each other's throats for the rest of the year."
Hermione chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully, "I know. But Malfoy was in the wrong first."
"He won't think that," Harry replied sensibly. "Malfoy can starve to death for all I care," he continued, deadly loyal to his friend.
Harry and Hermione parted ways at the turn of the hallway, each carefully carrying a plate laden with food. Hermione mulled over Harry's words as she walked back to her room. He was right. She was being rather silly trying to be nice to Draco Malfoy. He was never considerate towards her. Stopping outside the portrait, she stared at the plate of delicious goodies in her hand, wondering if she could possibly finish it by herself.
"Ah, Hermione," Mr. Godwick grinned down at her.
"Good evening, Mr. Godwick," she replied politely.
"You're not mad at me regarding that, er…little incident, are you?" The elderly man asked, cheeks flushed. Hermione shook her head.
The man chuckled his relief, "that was a good spell though. The redhead is smart, making him forget it all. That's the way to go."
Hermione nodded even though she had no idea what Godwick was talking about. She supplied the password and the portrait swung open. She half-expected Malfoy to be awake and pacing the room, ready to attack. However, the Common Room was completely quiet. A quick glance confirmed that Malfoy was still out cold.
She placed the plate on the coffee table and sat down on the floor next to it, frowning. Staring at Malfoy's sleeping form, she realized she had been previously lured into a sense of false security and that was probably what made her bring all this food for him. Sleep softened his features and erased the permanent smirk on his lips, making him seem harmless and almost vulnerable.
Pushing herself off the floor, she started across the Common Room to reach her own room. Pausing by the couch, she sighed to herself. She would most likely regret this in the morning when Malfoy unleashed his ire on her. Reaching for the Slytherin blanket, she spread it open and gently laid it on Malfoy's prone form.
She turned and was about to leave when something from behind pulled her back. She hurriedly tugged her elbow out of harm's way and instinctively reached for her wand. Behind her, Malfoy let out a low groan, his hand massaging his temple. Hermione let her hand fall away from her belt, chiding herself for being so jumpy.
She waited while Malfoy surveyed his surroundings, looking mildly confused. Any moment now, he was going to realize what had happened and lash out at her. She carefully reached for her wand, ready to deflect any hexes he throws her way. Finally, his eyes focused on her and Hermione's hand tightened on her wand.
Then he smiled, "oh, hello there."
Hermione stared at him.
He slowly stood up, brushing off his robe as he did so. "What's going on here?"
She could only shake her head, eyes narrowed in suspicion at the Slytherin. There was no way Malfoy didn't remember what happened earlier. This was probably the calm before the storm.
"Thank you," he was saying.
"What?" Hermione asked, staring into his grey eyes, searching for a trace for sarcasm. She couldn't find any.
He held up the blanket she had previously draped over him, "for this."
"Oh. Erm, you're welcome," Hermione's hand dropped from her wand, puzzled. For the six years she had known Draco Malfoy, he had never once thanked anyone for anything. He simply took everything for granted.
"Do I know you? Where is this place anyway? How did I get here?" He asked, his eyes sweeping over the Common Room,
"What?" Hermione asked again, feeling like an idiot. Somewhere in her head, she noted that this was probably how Ron and Harry felt when Hermione was trying to explain the latest lessons to them.
"Here. I don't recognize this place. Where am I? Who are you?" He repeated, eyeing her expectantly.
"You don't know me?" She asked incredulously.
"Should I?" He asked, smiling almost apologetically.
"Do you remember anything? Anything at all?" Hermione asked anxiously, reaching out to grab him by his upper arms.
Malfoy frowned at her, then his face split into a brilliant grin, "I remember that." Shrugging easily out of Hermione's grip, he reached for the plate of food. "Blimey, I'm starving."
Annoyed that he was so calm while her head was aching with trepidation, she smacked his hand away from the food. "Malfoy, listen to me, something's not right!"
"What's a Malfoy?" He asked, attempting to reach for the food again. This time, Hermione didn't stop him. She fleetingly mused over the possibility of him playing a trick on her. The probability factor was pretty high.
"This isn't funny, Malfoy," she replied in a threatening tone.
Malfoy looked at her innocently, chewing on a cupcake. "Yes, it's not funny," he agreed after swallowing. As an afterthought, he added, "what's not funny?"
Hermione frowned and spoke rather threateningly, "let's go see Professor Dumbledore." It was a perfect way to test if he was messing with her.
Malfoy dropped his half-eaten cupcake back onto the pile, already standing up, "alright. Who is he?"
"Miss Granger, do tell me what happened," Professor Dumbledore gestured at the Head Boy, who was stroking Fawkes' feathers, fascinated by the little orange creature.
"Erm, Professor, we were arguing over perfect duties and other matters, and I got a little angry," Hermione started, preparing to cover for Ron. She was the one who brought Ron to the Common Room. She was the Head Girl in that situation and should have stopped Ron, but she didn't. Furthermore, it would be rather embarrassing for Ron if this goes out.
Actually, she would have hexed Malfoy if Ron hadn't done so.
"So you cast a Memory Charm on Mr. Malfoy," the professor concluded.
"Memory Charm?" Hermione repeated, surprised. "But it was just an ordinary hex."
"What kind of hex?"
"I don't remember," she lied uneasily.
"Well, something must have gone wrong. It's some kind of memory charm," the elderly man confirmed, "though not the kind that Gilderoy Lockhart is suffering from. Mr. Malfoy isn't behaving like a complete lunatic. I believe the charm you cast only removed selective portions of his memory."
Both of them simultaneously turned to Malfoy, who winked at Hermione, indicating he was utterly at ease with the phoenix, who seemed to enjoy his company as well.
Hermione sunk back into her seat, shaking her head, "he has completely lost it."
"Let me see your wand, Hermione," Professor Dumbledore extended his hand. "Let's see what kind of a spell you've cast."
Hermione opened her mouth to refuse, but she couldn't think of a suitable excuse, so she simply handed her wand over to the headmaster.
He muttered an incantation and white light and haze spilled out from the tip of her wand. The professor waved the smoke away, "there's nothing here about the hex."
Hermione swallowed anxiously.
"It must have been erased when the hex went wrong," Professor Dumbledore supplied the explanation easily and she frowned. His smile was knowing and she wondered if he knew she had been lying from the start.
"I will look into it. For now, I fear you'll have to take care of him," he continued, handing the wand back to her.
"What?" She asked for the third time that night.
"Mr. Malfoy doesn't recall anything about Hogwarts. He will require assistance getting around this place. In the mean time, it would be best if you could try to remember the charm you cast. It will help in my quest to get him restored to his former self," Professor Dumbledore explained, standing up and walking over to Malfoy.
"It was nice seeing you, dear boy," the headmaster patted Malfoy on his shoulder, "do come to me if anything comes up."
"But, Professor," Hermione protested, still reeling from his instructions, "I can't take care of him. Surely there are other people who can do it. The Slytherins, Crabbe and Goyle. They're his friends. They can do it."
"You really trust them with him? Furthermore, there's nothing much you need to do. Just ensure he knows where to go and what to do. He will still be expected for lessons, of course." he instructed.
Once again, Hermione had the awful feeling he was deliberately making things difficult for her. She nodded reluctantly.
"I believe you were the cause of this situation in the first place, aren't you?" He asked, a smile lingering on his lips.
Hermione opened her mouth to argue, then quietly shut it, nodding. She hates Ron. He owns her big time.
The headmaster let out a chuckle, patting Hermione on her back, "with any luck, the spell may just wear off in a couple of days."
With each of his arms around each of the two students, he steered them towards the door and waved them out, "have fun."
On the way down the stairwell, Malfoy held out a couple of sherbet lemon he had apparently nicked from the headmaster's office, "want one?"
Hermione frowned and shook her head.
Shrugging to himself, he popped both of them into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully, "what's my name again?"
A/N: For those who are already missing the love-hate relationship, don't worry. Draco won't be Mr. Nice-and-Confused Guy for long.
Next: Hermione leaves Draco by himself in the Head Prefects' Common Room and goes off to question Ron about the hex. Draco wanders off. Oops.