A/N: Okay, here's Chapter 2! I'm sorry for not having posted anything in so long, but I was travelling around Europe for the past 5 weeks, like I posted in my profile. I was in France, Spain, Portugal, the Netherlands and Belgium. It made me feel just humming with life, cheerfulness and confidence, the exact opposite of what I am like at home. Travelling really cleansed my soul.
Chapter 2 is pretty hentai, too. It's getting worse and worse. Pretty soon, I'll have to move this to I couldn't help the hentai demon. Seifer and Squall are just too sexy together, aren't they?
Thank you so much for reviewing my fic! Really, really thank you. Every single one of the reviews I received meant a lot to me and I'm very grateful and happy. :)
Melancholy Requiem
by Cosina Veloce
Chapter 2: Let it cleanse my mind
There was just something about taking a bath.
The feeling of the hot water all around you and how it seemed to untie the knots in your muscles, how the water appeared to seep into your brain, making it warm, gushy, macerating it, effectively silencing every thought that might've lurked there. Squall briefly wondered if the feeling of it would resemble the feeling of death in any way. After all, hot water soaked the brain, just like Squall imagined death would. Eventually. When the time came.
He had always liked baths, ever since he could remember, and perhaps beyond. Not just baths, either. Water. He loved the cleansing quality it had to it. How consuming it was... how essentially peaceful, how lonely it could be
Squall cocked his head back and allowed his ears to go underwater. He could clearly hear his own heartbeat in the small bathtub and he closed his eyes, sighing contently. With his right hand, he slowly trailed his hand upwards, over his thin thighs up to his flat stomach, the few abdominal muscles he had contracting under his testy hands, then travelling up to his heaving breadbasket, slowly caressing the place where the beating drum lay just underneath. He pressed his fingers against his chest, the heartbeat underneath fluttering against his fingertips like the meek tries of a butterfly, so delicate under his hands, so prominent in his ears.
When Squall concentrated, sometimes, he thought he could feel the blood exploding into his veins. A delicate, heady feeling.
Blissfully floating in his mindless state, Squall's mind wandered from one topic to the next and back again without really being able to fully comprehend any of the things, and as his hand travelled down again to his cock, he gasped quietly. The pressure of the water pressing against his ears and the dull sound it brought with it started to combine itself with the heartbeat, bleeding together into heady noise that was filling him up as he was slowly starting to jerk himself off, the warm, laming pleasure his hand was giving him adding to the soaked mix in his head that had now extincted every thread of coherent thought. He gave in to the water and the pleasure.
Suddenly, a loud bang erupted from somewhere and, yelping, Squall jerked, coughing violently as his nose very briefly got underwater, his forehead starting to burn with the soapy bath water that had entered his nostrils. Gasping, he sat up in the tub, his wet bangs trailing down into his eyes, his eyes and nose stinging from the bubble water. "What... the... fuck?"
"Yo, Squall, time to get up! Come on, my little play kitten. Sun's up. You shouldn't miss the experience of Deling City on a bright morning day – it's quite breathtaking, I assure you."
It took the brunette a couple of moments to collect his scattered thoughts. "...Seifer?"
"Of course, it's me. Remember that annoyingly handsome, golden blonde guy you met – and by the way passionately made out wi-"
"Seifer," Squall interrupted him. "You're dead. Dead, you hear me?"
He just heard Seifer chuckle. "You're getting me quite interested in just what I interrupted you with. Open the door."
"No fucking chance," Squall spat disgustedly, preparing to settle down into the water once more.
"No chance? Oh, I think there is," Seifer chuckled evilly. "Mh, let me think, how could I convince you to come and open the door for me? Mh.. toughie. Tough. Mh. How about I sing a song for you? I'm a passionate singer, you see. I'm sure you adore love songs, don't you just?"
It took Squall a good while to press out a weak: "I'm gonna kill you."
"Come out and try," Seifer exulted.
Making a sour face, Squall got out of the bath, pulled the plug and wrapped a towel around his hips, lazily looking at himself in the mirror above the sink. For someone who cared so little about being attractive and hence never engaged in any sports whatsover, he had a pretty defined body, especially in the abdominal area. Squall chalked it up to the fact that he was so thin, which made the little muscle he did have visible, giving the illusion of a trained, fit body, whereas in reality he couldn't remember having worked out in .. well, ever? Seifer seemed to like sports way more than he did, judging by that rather muscular body.. not that he had seen it, but it had felt rather hard and defined against him the night before...
The brunette groaned inwardly, throwing the next best T-shirt in his immediate reach over his body, not even looking or caring what it was. All his efforts went into making himself look as menacing as humanly possible as he opened the door, wanting Seifer to be able to read death and murder in his eyes. It didn't really work, since Seifer started to break out into hysterical laughter as soon as Squall's oh-so-menacing frame set foot into the hallway. Squall's carefully though-out death and murder expression dropped and got replaced by glaring question marks.
Squall's eyebrows were laced into the most venomous frown as he silently watched the laughing Seifer, silently weighing his options. He could shut the door and wait until the other man left to board the next train home. Of course, that might also mean he would end up jumping out of the window, as he thought of the other man as a bit of the persistent type. He could also slam into the other man and just go. Well, a little unpractical considering the blonde probably outweighed him by like fifty pounds and considering he was clad in a towel and all. Even though he was dying to see Deling City's reaction to his curious choice of clothing, he had the distant feeling it would end in a not-so-pleasant situation. Like, him in prison or something.
He briefly wondered whether he had dropped the towel and hot white shame shot through him at the mere possibility of this humiliation, but one quick glance assured him that the towel was still quite firmly placed where it was supposed to be.
"That... that shirt," Seifer pressed out between laughter.
Squall briefly studied his shirt. "Okay..?"
Seifer finally composed himself, but the smirk remained. "It's pink."
The brunette patiently waited for the other man to continue. When he didn't, he wet his lips. "So?"
"Squall, it's a pink girl's top! Also, it's too tight. It shows off part of your stomach."
"I sleep in my sister's clothes. Sometimes."
The blonde shook his head. "They're your sister's clothes? I didn't know you had one."
"Yeah, obviously, since I sort of never told you," Squall said, annoyed.
Seifer just continued to chuckle. "You're so gay, Squall."
The smaller boy shrugged. "If you say so."
Seifer was visibly getting massive kicks out of the situation. "So, you guys close?"
Squall just gave him a look.
"I mean the owner of those clothes of so very exquisite taste and so very-"
"I know who you meant," Squall snapped.
"My, we're so catty this morning," Seifer teased. "I can only wonder what the reason for that is. Is it a) you hate mornings or b) you just hit puberty and got first hair on ball?"
Squall didn't even dignify that with a response. Instead, his cool gaze remained on the blonde's face.
Some of the teasing humour left Seifer's face. "You didn't answer my question."
"She's none of your business."
"You said that already. Maybe you should start thinking of more original things to say."
Squall groaned inwardly and asked himself just why exactly he had let the other man force him into agreeing to see him again this day. Actually, he should've never had agreed to go for a drink with the blonde in the first place. Things would be so peaceful if he'd never had the misfortune to run into this burly man's sickly, so very confidently grinning mug. Raising his eyebrows, he plunged his gaze into the other man's, forcing his eyes onto them, silently fighting for dominance. The green orbs of the other man flared up as if illuminated by a burning green fire, and they slightly narrowed as they accepted the silent challenge that Squall's grey eyes had offered, no, forced upon them. There was something in Seifer's eyes that was irritating. Something he couldn't place.. something lurking just underneath the glittering delight.
They didn't know how long they stared at each other, maybe a minute, maybe ten, maybe thirty. Eventually, the green eyes softened, and Squall realised what he had seen in them.
It had been sorrow.
It was Seifer who broke the eye contact. Lowering his gaze, he said quietly: "All right, I'll give you ten minutes to get dressed in something I won't be too embarrassed to be seen in public with – or pestered by old horny men with. So go and get dressed in something decent. High school or police uniforms preferred. Have a thing for those."
Squall couldn't resist looking at Seifer for another couple of seconds, wanting to lock their gazes once more, but the blonde avoided his searching glare. There was a small smile playing around the bigger man's lips, but it didn't resemble the smiles, grins and smirks Seifer had given him before.
Shrugging, Squall decided to let it go and just as he was about to close the door behind him, Seifer spoke up again: "Towel was a good choice though."
Squall mumbled something under his breath as he shut the door with a tad more force than necessary.
---
As much as Squall disliked the other man, he hadn't lied back when he'd said that Deling City on a bright winter morning was quite lovely. The sun was shining down in such a mild quality that only winter mornings had to them, and the busy life that had been pulsing through the streets the previous evening had vanished. Oh, it wasn't anywhere near as peaceful or quiet as Balamb fucking City was no matter the time of day, but while the bustling life and the many people had prevented Squall from taking in the city's architecture and unique character the day before, all these things were nicely, openly presented to him that morning. Seifer had also turned out to be a decent, rather competent tour guide, avidly explaining the sights to the smaller man as they slowly passed them.
Squall had also learned from his mistakes and had dressed very warmly that day. Underneath his thick leather coat that went down over part of his thighs, he was wearing an azure blue pullover that didn't quite match his grey eyes, but nonetheless looked nice against his skin tone and the coat of expensive dark leather he was so very fond of wearing. He had decided the muscle shirt he had worn the previous day had been a rather mediocre choice.
"So, what else do you want to see?" Seifer asked. "The Museum of Ancient Centra Art, perhaps?"
Squall shrugged.
"I admire your determination," Seifer remarked dryly.
"You were right," Squall mused.
"I know."
"You do?"
"Naturally. I always am."
The brunette just eyed him.
"All right, all right. What do you mean?"
"It's nice," Squall said.
"Deling morning are peaceful. They are quite deceiving. No matter what it looks like, this city isn't what it appears to be on some nice, quiet, mild mornings. Deling City is the drug and sex capital of Gaia. It's always dangerous. Don't forget that."
And why should that make me like this city less? What's it with people and their self-centeredness about what they call 'danger'?
Squall mumbled something under his breath, which made Seifer look at him intently, studying his face.
"Up there is the Arc de Triomphe," Seifer announced, causing Squall to look up and look at what they were approaching, the golden silhouette of the Arc soon coming into view, looking mild and friendly like that, bathed in the soft rays of the sun. It was quite the sight. Of course, Squall had seen many pictures of the Arc before, as it was quite famous not only for its touristy value and being part of Deling's trademark, but allso because there had been many news of suiciders throwing themselves off the Arc, splattering themselves all over the streets, the very streets Squall was walking on at that moment. He looked down, watching the cement fly by, watching its flaws, dirt, thrown away cigarettes or used chewing gums.
Squall's mind had to briefly think of a graveyard. A graveyard of unwanted, useless things.
"Many people died here," Squall muttered, not realising he was actually saying it out loud.
"..Huh?" Seifer asked.
Squall blinked. "Hm?"
"Many people died here?" Seifer echoed.
Frowning, Squall realised he must've said it out loud, something that made him distinctly uncomfortable. "Suicide."
It was almost comical as Seifer's eyebrows laced together in a poor copy of the frown so unique to Squall as he studied the younger man intently. "You mean the Arc has become a suicide spot?"
"You're the tourist guide."
"Ah, yeah," Seifer quickly ran his hands through his hair, laughing quietly. Did Squall read that incorrectly or were those signs of nervousness? "I haven't really been to Deling in a while, even though I was born and raised here. Well, people keep telling me I don't look very Galbadian, but I am, so yeah."
Squall wanted to ask where he'd been before he returned to Deling so recently, but restrained himself. He felt like it really wasn't any of his business, and he was flustered by the slight spark of interest that had arisen in him when Seifer had spoken.
"So, this is the Arc of Deling City," Seifer said. He'd lost the nervous edge he had so briefly flashed before and had returned to being the cocky asshole he'd been before.
"Let's go in there," Seifer nodded with his head to a door that was on one side of the Arc, partially hidden by its non-descript colour.
Squall just looked at him. "What for?"
"So you can suck my cock without it turning into an ice rod," Seifer answered matter-of-factly.
Squall's eyes widened ever so slightly.
Seifer groaned. "It was a joke! You know what that is, right?"
"I might have heard of it," Squall said, sourly.
"Squall, I'm shocked. Was that a slight attempt at humour?"
"No," the brunette answered coolly, deliberately ignoring the other man's stare. "So, what's in there?"
Seifer just shrugged and went to open the door and after a few minutes in which Squall just sort of stood there and watched the bigger man fumble around his pockets, he sighed and caught up with Seifer, staring blankly at him as the other man did something to the doorknob that made Squall's eyebrows raise so high he figured they were close to falling off his head. It almost looked like he was... lockpicking the door.. with a hairpin.
"... What... the...?" Squall started, just as the door clicked open with an audible click and a huge, satisfied grin started to spread itself out on the blonde's handsome face. He triumphantly pushed the door apart and entered into a lukewarm room, on whose far end Squall could make out a ladder of some kind, and on whose carpet was a comfortable couch and an old TV-set that looked used, almost homely.
Seifer studied the room. "Last time I was here, it was blank. Guess they have somebody guard the room now, ever since.. the Arc was manipulated into capturing that Sorceress all those years ago." Seifer's voice was thick with something that the brunette had a hard time placing. Maybe it was memories, he knew they tended to be powerful to some people. Maybe sorrow, like the brief, but powerful kind he had seen shining in that amazing pair of green earlier. Maybe both. Maybe neither.
The brunette cleared his throat, erasing those thoughts from his head. "But it's empty?"
"It's likely that they only guard it during the night or on special occassions," Seifer shrugged. "It's much warmer in here. Today it's me who hasn't dressed warm enough, it seems."
Squall eyed Seifer's dark blue coat, noticing that it indeed looked like it was really thin, but of course he couldn't tell what the other man was wearing underneath. Sighing, he watched as Seifer slumped down on the couch, moaning in delight at the apparent softness of it, pressing his back into the green linen. He then turned on the TV and started to zap through the channels, sighing as he found one he seemed to like, a smile on his face.
Squall, who had approached the couch himself for lack of anything better to do and feeling rather dorky standing near the door twiddling his thumbs, had a hard time keeping his jaw from dropping. "You're watching... erm"
"Galbadian Idol," Seifer stated emotionlessly.
"Erm..."
"Hey, it got a lot better after they kicked bouncy-tit Vaalya out! It looked like she was defying every single physical law there was. I'll never get what women need those huge, fatty globes for. So, now I'm cheering for Nanda. He's got a great ass."
"..."
"He does!" Seifer exclaimed. "Just look at it!"
"Whatever you say, Seifer."
Seifer just snorted and focused his attention back on the screen, where some dark-haired man with what looked like a fit body was singing a romance song into the microphone, one with lyrics so cheesy, corny and sugary that Squall felt the silent need to check just how many pounds he'd gained just from listening to this syrup-spewer. Inwardly shivering, he watched the man doing silly dance moves that were meant to accompany the diebetes-inducuing singing gracefully, but only managed to make the performance even dorkier than it already was, seeing as how it made Squall think of a dancing Behemoth wearing cement shoes. The brunette's cold eyes shifted to Seifer, who was staring at the TV intently, a faint smile around his lips.
Squall shook his head.
Here I am, he thought, watching Galbadian Idol of all things in an illegally lock-picked survey room with a complete stranger who's offered to kill my father.
Squall shook his head again and again. He suddenly felt a very weird feeling inside him. It was amusement, almost like a tiny explosion of joy somewhere inside him, shining through his eyes, not turning his lips into a smile, not even close, but still there, somewhere inside him. Amusement. Heck, he hadn't felt it in a while.
Reluctantly, Squall took off his leather coat, revealing the blue pullover underneath, and then lowered himself onto the couch next to Seifer to silently watch the show.
"I didn't think you were the type to like... Galbadian Idol," Squall remarked dryly as he passively watched the next candidate enter the stage.
Seifer chuckled quietly. "I used to hate it, too. I always thought it was stupid and useless and.. it kind of is. But I had to watch it for the past year or so, so it's grown on me. Eventually I just thought it would be easier for me to like it, so I did."
The brunette just nodded, and silence hung itself over their heads, with Squall sitting awkwardly on the coach, watching the trivial show with bored, uninterested eyes. Seifer eventually shrugged out of his dark blue coat, revealing a black t-shirt of some sort. It was kind of baggy, and what was drawn and written on it immediately drew Squall's attention.
On the black shirt there was the white silhouette of a little chicken baby. There was also 'good at karate' written on it, and an arrow that pointed to the chick. There was just something about that in all actuality rather silly shirt that Squall immediately liked, and for quite a while, he couldn't take his eyes off it, carefully taking in the sloppy silhouette of the chicken and the messily drawn arrow.
"That's... cute," Squall remarked.
"Huh?" There was genuine surprise in Seifer's voice.
"The karate fowl."
"Oh, that," Seifer answered, laughing. "I thought it was kind of funny when I bought it. I didn't think you'd like it, though."
"You don't know anything about me," Squall said. It was a very cold, detached and unfriendly thing to say, but out of Squall's mouth, it sounded matter-of-factly.
Seifer made an amused noise. "Actually, now that you say it, I should have figured you'd love it, seeing as how you seem to have a thing for cute and girly clothes. Speaking of, you never answered that question I asked you this morning..."
The brunette didn't answer and Seifer started to switch channels as the last 'singer' left the stage. After zapping for a while, he eventually settled on a music channel of some sort, letting soft rock music fill the otherwise quiet room.
"I don't have a sister, nor any other relatives that I know of. But there was a girl who used to be my best friend, who was like a sister to me," the blonde said quietly.
The brunette looked at the other man, not knowing what to say.
"She died." Seifer said.
For a long moment, the words just sort of hung in the room like they were still present. They were sending their waves through the room, visibly forcing themselves between the two men, reverberating in the brunette's ears. Squall shifted uncomfortably, looking over at the blonde whose eyes had glazed over and who stared at his hands.
"Her name was Rinoa," Seifer said, his voice now thick. "I was very fond of her."
Squall wanted to say something, but his voice came out as little more than a crackly hiss. He cleared his voice. "I thought you hated women."
The smirk returned to his face, but it seemed half-hearted. Some of his golden blonde hair that he had messily gelled back had gotten loose and was now hanging down into his eyes, a little curly strand that fell right over his right eye, obscuring the brilliantly jade coloured iris. He blew up into it, his eyes sparkling more than usual the moment his breath swept over them.
"She just might have something to do with it," the blonde said lowly.
Squall kept quiet and started to think of his sister. Ellone, only a few years older than him, pretty girl-next-door face, nice and gentle demeanour. That was how she'd been until a few years ago, up until her boyfriend had broken up with her and she'd turned into a very conflicted young woman, one that had shut her younger brother out of her world, one that had dismissed her younger brother's tries to keep her in his life with a mere shrug, one who had busied herself with what Squall considered to be all the wrong friends.
He'd adored her all the way through his childhood and early teens. Simply adored her. And he still loved her, but he missed the old Ellone, the one that had he had wanted to protect, the one who'd had embraced him whenever she thought he'd needed it, the one who hadn't started to ignore him. It wasn't like she was trying to hurt him or anything. She'd simply turned into a conflicted, often very depressed young woman, way too self-absored to take care of her sensitive younger brother. Squall knew that it was something that just happened to some people as they got older. As they lost the innocence of youth. As time slowly but surely took away all the carefreeness, which had been just as much of a typical trait to many young people as it had been to Ellione. At first, Squall had tried time and time again to break through to his sister and he'd only recently given up on it, realizing that if there was one thing Squall Leonhart, son of Laguna Loire, president of Esthar, could not do, it was stopping or turning back the merciless hands of time that had separated him and Ellione in a slow, crawling, yet so horribly natural manner.
Squall was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear Seifer's slow approach and it was only when Seifer gently put his arms around the smaller man that Squall was jerked out of his musings. He sat up straight as he felt the other man's warm body pressing against his, not violently or brutally, but gently, yet still with enough force that it made the brunette aware of the fact that the other man was far stronger and heavier than him, that there was demand in the way his strong arms with the muscles playing just underneath that flawless skin wrapped around his rigid body. Warm pleasure, mingled with the surpressed urge to giggle and shiver, ran through him as he felt Seifer's wet, hot tongue playing with his ear, slowly tipping itself into Squall's sensitive penna. The brunette started to feel warm arousal spreading throughout his body at the soft, yet demanding tongue, Seifer's hot breath against his ear, his strong arms around him, his unique scent travelling into his nose, making him dizzy. It was just so much stimulation at once, the feeling, the hot breath that went shivers down his spine, the scent, that it made Squall temporarily forget about all his musings, causing him to just close his eyes, giving in to the feeling of Seifer all around him. He almost groaned in dismay as he suddenly missed the feeling of that soft tongue that had traced the lines of his ear a moment before.
"Why won't you stay for another day?" Seifer whispered into the other man's ear, lowering his masculine, deep voice into a husky, promising breath before he commenced kissing, but abandoning the ear and trailing down to the brunette's neck, licking, biting and kissing the sensitive flesh there, provoking a soft moan to leave Squall's rosy lips.
"I.. can't," Squall pressed out.
Seifer stopped the kisses and looked up. "Why not?"
The brunette met the blonde's gaze. "Tomorrow is Monday," he explained calmly. "School."
"Oh, how cute," Seifer cooed. "You're a schoolboy! I like schoolboys. It's the uniform that does it."
Squall made an annoyed face.
"Sorry," Seifer smirked. "You're a schoolboy. That's cute and all, but knowing you, you're a good student, right? Who's ever heard of a student who can't afford to skip school for a day or two every once in a while?"
Indifferently, Squall just continued to stare.
Seifer put on a seductive smile and he pressed his body against the other man more urgently, his hand busily travelling up and down the sitting man's body, stopping on his belly. "Come on," he whispered, burying his face in Squall's chocolate-coloured bangs, breathing in the scent of Ellone's lavender shampoo. "Just for one more day, mmkay?"
Squall grunted, feeling the arousal coming back at the feeling of Seifer's body pressing against his, his hot breath sweeping lightly over the brunette's sensitive neck. He shivered once more at the feeling of it, distantly wondering how the other man had known that his neck was one of his most sensitive body regions, how the kisses and the hot breath affected him, how they fogged his brain. He moaned lowly, giving in to the feeling of the other man once more, but opening his eyes again when he felt the blonde fumbling with his belt. The reflex to stop Seifer rose up inside him, but before he had decided what to do, he already felt the belt opening, the button and zipper following suit, and before he had time to comprehend the situation, he felt Seifer's hand wrapping around the head of his cock, tightly pressed against him due to the tight nature of the pants he was still wearing. Squall's eyes widened.
"Shhh," Seifer murmured, placing light kisses on Squall's neck.
Squall bit down on his lower lip as he felt the other man's hand awkwardly caressing the head of his penis, not really having enough space to really stroke it. Seifer eventually just placed his thumb directly on the head and pulled the foreskin over the head with two fingers, producing not much, but enough stimulation to make Squall gasps and shiver at the alien sensation of a foreign man's hand down his pants, pleasuring him. Hot white shame poured through his veins, but the silent screams of the shame were quickly suffocated by the pleasure that now took the lead.
Seifer started to draw circles with his tongue on the other man's neck, but then stopped. "You have to get your pants down your knees for this to really work, you know," he said lowly.
Squall blinked. "... What?"
The blonde chuckled in amusement. "Your pants. Take them off."
In some part of Squall's mind, which was mostly fogged by heavy clouds of arousal, there was the wild demand to say 'no', to stop Seifer, the impulse to get up and leave despite the throbbing urge for release. It was an impulse that was getting less and less significant by the second. Lost in the battling urges, Squall jerked away almost violently when the loud wail and the wet smash somewhere near forcefully reached his ears, causing the brunette to jump right to the opposite end of the couch, shocked look artfully drawn across his face.
"What the...?" Squall hissed.
Seifer looked equally surprised. "What the fuck was that? Hey.. where are you going? Are you nuts!"
Squall had gotten up, hastedly fastened his belt and was on his way to the door. He didn't even turn around at Seifer's exlaim.
The blonde got up and ran after Squall, catching him by the arm just before he could reach the door, turning him around. Squall saw himself confronted by two glittering green eyes that were glaring into his almost hatefully. "Are you fucking bonkers? You can't go out there! There are people outside and we are not supposed to be in here!" He scanned Squall's body sceptically. "What's with you, anyways?"
The brunette swallowed. "I think someone died out there just now."
Looking into Seifer's eyes for several more beats, he eventually freed himself from the blonde's arms and, without another word or glance, opened the door and stepped out. Noon light fell into the darkened room, gently illuminating it with it's warm, mild rays. Warm, mild and innocent like nothing else was at that moment.
---
Squall had never seen a dead person before.
Sure, sometimes, when he'd been extremely bored, he might have switched on the TV and passively watched some hack and slash or otherwise stupidly brutal movie, but back then, he'd only felt a deep indifference towards the crude exaggeration of death that he'd almost found distantly amusing.
His face had been totally smashed. Red blood, so very red, much redder than in those movies. Brilliantly red. And white, gooey white.
Seifer sat on the floor, a joint hanging between his lips, looking up at the smoke he was blowing, the soft fogginess of the weed overlaying his usually so brilliant jade coloured eyes, which now had a hardness and thoughtfulness about them that not even the drug could really soften. The sweet, herbal smell filled the room, forcing its way into Squall's nostrils.
"Squall?" Seifer asked quietly.
"Hm?" the brunette answered, staring into nothingness.
"I'm scared of death," Seifer said. His voice almost broke as he quietly muttered those words, taking another drag of his joint before he carelessly stubbed it out on an ash tray. He blew the last bit of the smoke out of his mouth. "I'm really scared of it. So.. much."
"Think of rainbows," Squall said quietly.
"Rainbows?" Seifer echoed.
"Whenever I'm scared.. I think of rainbows. They're so full of colours they can fill your vision, your thoughts, with colours."
"Rainbows..." Seifer trailed off. "You know, Squall, this is not the first time I've seen a corpse. It's not really the reason why I'm in this state now. Seeing that man just..." Seifer grumbled, "I don't know, I guess it brought reality back to me. The past two days have been pretty special.. and different."
Squall didn't really understand what Seifer was talking about, but he was starting to have his suspicions. He knew there were things about this blonde man that he didn't exactly know about, but whose lingering darkness he could distantly sense. He briefly wondered about the other man and how much of what he was rambling about was due to the weed he'd consumed, until his musings were interrupted by the destroyed face of the man who had killed himself that day. Squall winced.
"You're lucky everything was in such a chaos nobody really noticed us coming out ot there."
Squall was quiet for a long time. "Why... why do you think he did that..?"
"Who knows," Seifer answered quietly. "Don't you sometimes wonder whether anyone would be sad when you died...?"
Squall looked up. "What..?"
"You heard me," Seifer said, looking away as though embarrassed, playing with the silver ring on his middle finger. He then suddenly laughed, but it was not a very happy laugh. "Isn't it strange, Squall? It's like the human being is so full of insecurities it needs others to convince it of its own values. Like every creature is more concerned about what sort of impact it has on other creatures than what's going on in itself. It's so strange, Squall, isn't it?" He got up, approaching the sitting Squall, who just regarded him out of cool eyes. "I hate this." Seifer announced, anger starting to fill his eyes. "And don't just sit there, but answer me, you snotty princess!"
Squall said nothing.
Groaning in frustration, Seifer sat down next to Squall and grabbed his shoulders, lightly shaking them. "You heard me!" he demanded, but stopped when Squall's eyes focused on his own.
"There is so much sorrow in you," Squall said, in a voice so quiet it bordered on being a whisper. "So.. so much. It's overwhelming me. And it's overwhelming you." His voice had gone quieter with every word until it was almost impossible to understand his softly whispered words. "Why is there so much sorrow in you, Seifer?"
Seifer's eyes widened. He didn't say anything for a long, long while and when he did, it was so quietly, Squall almost wanted to ask him if he'd heard right. "I'm not what you think I am."
Squall frowned. "What do I think you are, then?"
"I don't know.. normal?"
Squall raised an eyebrow. "You kidding me?"
Seifer laughed bitterly. "Okay, stupid suggestion."
"You're weird," Squall said quietly.
The blonde looked up. "Compared to who?" He then smiled a small smile. "You remember? We said the exact same thing to each other when we met yesterday. Hey, it was only yesterday. It feels like it was much longer.."
"A lifetime," Squall said, his voice dripping with irony.
"Shut up. We're not that sappy yet." He looked at Squall for a moment. "You realize you just asked me questions for the first time? You even managed to say more than just one sentence. I'm awfully impressed."
Squall just frowned in response.
The blonde's spirits were visibly gone, and he looked pretty drawn out, even as he was studying the brunette's frown with interest. Though a small smile had returned to his lips, his smirk was painfully missing, and he looked very tired and out of spirits as he wordlessly switched on Squall's TV, settling back as though it was the most natural thing in the world, zapping through the channels.
"I hope you know you'll sleep in your room tonight," the smaller man said with what he hoped was politeness.
"Mh? Oh. Oh, yeah, sure. I'm not gonna sleep." Seifer gabe a mumbled response, settling on another music program of some sort, lazily watching some dancing women. "Oh, and, Squall?" Seifer asked, lazily.
"Mh?"
"I didn't mean that whole snotty princess thing. You're okay."
Squall hesitated. "Maybe you are, too."
Seifer mumbled. Squall thought it sounded like a satisfied mumble.
to be continued
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