A FANFICTION SCRIPT BY LEXAPOWER
CONTACT: I do not own Gilmore Girls or have any say over what happens on the show. This is just a FAN FICTION. The following script contains no spoilers, only what I WISH would happen. I assume no responsibility if any of the following events listed in this script DO happen on the show in the future. Gilmore girls and all the characters in the following script are the property of Amy Sherman Palladino, Dorthy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following script takes place episode 6.10, and directly follows It Should've Been Jess and I Wish That I Was Jessie's Girl, scripts I wrote that take place 6.08 and 6.09. That being said, although both scripts follow the real life Gilmore Girls episode 6.07 Twenty-One is the Loneliest Number, many of the events of that episode did not happen, including the Grandparents finding out that Rory has been having sex. Therefore, she was not forced to move into the main house and is currently still living in the pool house. Also, the Grandparents are unaware of Lorelai and Luke's engagement.
SUMMARY: It's a Gilmore-Danes Thanksgiving with all the trimmings, and everyone is invited...including Logan and Jess. And everyone at dinner knows about Rory and Jess's past...except Logan. But will anyone tell him? Also; Christopher is back and Luke is anything but pleased.
RATED TV14 for mild language and suggestive dialogue.
FADE IN:
INT. SOOKIE'S HOUSE - THANKSGIVING DAY
LORELAI and SOOKIE are standing by the stove. SOOKIE is cooking a huge dinner.
SOOKIE shoves a forkful of stuffing in LORELAI'S face.
SOOKIE: Try that. I think it needs more salt.
LORELAI: You salt stuffing?
LORELAI takes a mouthful of the stuffing. Her cell phone rings. She searches her purse for her cell phone.
LORELAI (CON'T) (smiling with a mouthful of stuffing) It's good. No salt.
She answers the phone.
LORELAI (CON'T): Hello?
INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION
INT. ELDER GILMORE HOUSE STUDY - CONTINUOUS
EMILY is sitting in the study talking to LORELAI on the speakerphone.
EMILY: Hello Lorelai. Happy Thanksgiving.
LORELAI sits down at the table.
LORELAI: (expressionless) You too Mom.
EMILY: I was wondering if you and Rory would like to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house. You can bring Luke if you'd like.
LORELAI: No thanks.
EMILY: Well what about desert?
LORELAI: We've got plans.
EMILY: Well are these plans going to take you all day?
LORELAI: It's safe to say.
EMILY: Lorelai, would it kill you to have Thanksgiving dinner with your family? I said could bring Luke,
LORELAI: Luke's family is here. Sookie's family is here. Sookie made a ton of food and we're all eating at her house.
EMILY: You can bring them all with you.
LORELAI: (laughs) What?
EMILY: I said, you can-
LORELAI: I heard what you said, I just find it funny that you want me to come over so bad that you'd actually say that.
SOOKIE: (to LORELAI) What's going on?
LORELAI: (into the phone) Hold on. (to SOOKIE) My mom wants to have Thanksgiving over there.
SOOKIE: Oh. Wow. (SOOKIE looks sadly at the stove)
LORELAI: Don't worry, I'm not going.
SOOKIE: Well…
LORELAI: No.
SOOKIE: Maybe you should.
LORELAI: Sookie, no.
SOOKIE: It might be a good chance for you to tell them…(she gestures towards LORELAI'S engagement ring)
LORELAI: I'm not telling them.
SOOKIE: You have to tell them, they're your parents.
LORELAI: They're evil.
EMILY: I can hear you, Lorelai.
LORELAI: (into the phone) Sorry Mom, I have to go.
EMILY: (yelling) Sookie, you can come with her! Bring all your food, and your family, and Luke's too!
SOOKIE: (to LORELAI) Did she just invite us over?
LORELAI: No. She just invited you to watch World War III live and in living color.
SOOKIE: Hey, it beats football.
LORELAI: I really don't think this is a good idea.
SOOKIE: Why not? It might be fun eating dinner in a big mansion with maids serving us and butlers asking if we want any Grey Poupon…
LORELAI: I did it every day for sixteen years. Trust me. Not fun.
SOOKIE begins putting plastic wrap over the food.
LORELAI: What are you doing?
SOOKIE: We're going to your mother's.
LORELAI: No, we're not.
SOOKIE: Yes, we are.
LORELAI: Maybe you are, but I'm not.
SOOKIE: Lorelai, you gotta reconcile with your parents. (in a hushed voice) Don't you want them at your wedding?
LORELAI makes a face.
LORELAI: (into the phone) Hey, Mom, you sure you don't mind all these people coming to your house?
EMILY: Of course not! The more the merrier!
LORELAI: Fine. What time should we be there?
EMILY: (surprised) 3:00 sharp.
LORELAI: Great. All eighty-seven of us will see you then.
EMILY: What!
LORELAI: Bye mom.
She hangs up the phone.
EMILY hangs up the phone.
EMILY: (to RICHARD) Lorelai is bringing half of Stars Hollow with her! Put away the good China.
CUT TO:
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT HALLWAY - MORNING
LUKE is storming angrily through the hallway mumbling expletives under his breath. There is loud ROCK MUSIC blaring, coming from his apartment.
LUKE: (mumbling) I'm gonna kill him…waking up the damn neighbors…
LUKE opens the door to his apartment. The ROCK MUSIC becomes louder. LUKE'S eyes grow wide. There are boxes, clothes, books, and Cds everywhere. JESS is lying sound asleep on an air mattress on the floor, covered in clothes and books.
LUKE: (enraged) WAKE UP!
JESS remains sleeping peacefully. LUKE groans with frustration. He kicks a box over and takes some clothes off of the stereo. He changes the station to CLASSICAL. JESS stirs. He sits up angrily.
JESS: What the hell!
LUKE: The boxes…the nightmares are coming back…
JESS: (rubbing his eyes) I didn't unpack yet.
LUKE: (shuddering) You didn't unpack? My mistake, Jess. I thought that this CRAP lying all over my apartment was your stuff. I guess all these clothes just…magically appeared.
JESS: Maybe Santa Claus came early this year.
LUKE: Do you have a book of sarcastic Santa Claus comments for every single situation imaginable or do you improv them all?
JESS: Someone didn't get laid last night. Lorelai have her period or something?
LUKE: Hey! I don't wanna hear any references to Lorelai that involve bodily functions or sex in any form coming out of your mouth.
JESS: (getting up and shutting off the music) Did you wake me up for a reason?
LUKE: It's 11:00. We have to be there at 3.
JESS: I don't need four hours to get ready!
LUKE: It takes you two hours to put gel in your hair!
JESS: Is there a point coming anytime soon or can I go back to bed?
LUKE: What are you wearing?
JESS looks down at his outfit.
LUKE: To dinner.
JESS: (shrugs) Whatever.
LUKE: You have to dress up. Lorelai's mother called, change of plans, we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner over there.
JESS: Oh hell no!
LUKE: Jess…
JESS: No, I am NOT going to that hoity-toity mansion to eat caviar and snails-
LUKE: Rory will be there.
JESS is silent. He looks at the floor.
JESS: So what?
LUKE: She wants you to be there.
JESS: (angry) How do you know?
LUKE: (yelling) Because she's been in bed for days crying her eyes out!
JESS: (his tone changes) What happened?
LUKE: Nothing happened. You left, that's what happened.
JESS puts his hands nervously in his pockets.
JESS: Hey, how much do you know?
LUKE: Let's just say I changed the sheets, I'm never sleeping on them again.
JESS: Right. Lorelai told you?
LUKE: Yeah, she did.
JESS: And Rory told Lorelai?
LUKE: Yeah.
JESS: I thought Rory and Lorelai weren't speaking.
LUKE: Apparently they've reconciled.
JESS: Huh. So is Rory back at home?
LUKE: For now. Look, Jess, I don't know what's going on with you and Rory, but can you put it aside for one day? The whole reason you came here was to have Thanksgiving dinner with your family. Liz is gonna be there. TJ is gonna be there.
JESS: Is Santa Claus gonna be there?
LUKE: I give up! If Lorelai knew I was letting you stay here, she would kill me.
JESS: Why?
LUKE: Because-
JESS: I'll be gone in a week.
LUKE: I know, but, see, it's just-
JESS: She still hates me.
LUKE: She doesn't hate you.
JESS: She'd rather see Rory dating Hugh Hefner and living in the Playboy mansion than even look at me.
LUKE: That's not too far fetched from Rory's current relationship.
JESS: Yeah, right.
LUKE: Personally, I think he's a jerk.
JESS: (sarcastically) You don't say.
LUKE: Fine, don't believe me. Just get ready.
JESS: I'm not going!
LUKE: (frustrated) How about I make you a deal? You come to dinner with the family - dressed appropriately, you make it through the entire evening without getting drunk or getting into a fist fight with anyone- and I'll get Lorelai to give you a chance.
JESS is silent for a moment.
JESS: Okay.
LUKE: (shocked) Okay? That's it?
JESS: You better be as slick with Lorelai as you think you are.
JESS starts rummaging through the masses of clothes on the floor.
LUKE: What are you looking for?
JESS: A suit.
LUKE: You own a suit? Wait, let me guess. A Santa suit.
JESS: Have you been reading my book?
LUKE: (leaving) Be ready at 2:30!
LUKE leaves. JESS turns the ROCK MUSIC back on and continues to search through the piles of stuff everywhere.
FADE OUT.
(Opening credits)