INT. DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Everyone is seated at the table eating dinner. EMILY and RICHARD are at the heads of the table. LUKE, LOREALI, RORY, LOGAN, COLIN, AND FINN sit on one side of the table. CHRISTOPHER, SOOKIE, JACKON, JESS, LIZ, AND TJ sit on the other. LUKE and LOREALI sit quietly and aren't speaking to each other. RORY talks to her father and isn't speaking to LOGAN. JESS isn't speaking to anyone. The rest are in a good mood and talking in the background. LORELAI finishes a martini. The MAID walks by and takes it away.
LORELAI: (looking up at her) Another one…thanks.
SOOKIE: (to JACKSON, whispering) That's her fourth drink since dinner started. And she was drinking before dinner too.
JACKSON: Maybe she's thirsty!
SOOKIE: Jackson! (whispers) Something happened between her and Luke.
LUKE and LORELAI give each other stern looks. LORELAI downs another martini, barely touching her food.
CHRISTOPHER: (to RORY and the people around her) So I figured, well, if it's just going to be me again, I may as well get rid of my car and go back to the bike. It saves on gas and the chicks love it.
RORY: (smiles) You've always been a chick magnet, Dad.
LORELAI: (looking over the table, mocking RORY, in a higher tone) You've always been a chick magnet Dad.
She hands the maid another empty martini glass.
LORELAI (CON'T): Keep um' coming.
SOOKIE: Lorelai, aren't you drinking a lot? Maybe you should have some coffee.
LORELAI: Coffee bad. Martini good.
SOOKIE: But aren't you going to tell your parents…
LORELAI: Not if I get drunk enough and pass out. (she sips her drink)
LUKE: Sookie's right, have some coffee.
LORELAI: Don't talk to me.
SOOKIE and JACKSON look at each other and continue eating in silence.
LIZ: (to JESS) (elbowing him gently) Hey handsome. Why're you so quiet? You like the food?
JESS: It's great.
LIZ: Well what's wrong?
JESS: Nothing.
LIZ: Aw, come on Jess, you can tell me. I'm your mother.
JESS: Really. I'm fine.
LIZ: Is it Lorelai's daughter?
JESS continues eating.
LIZ (CON'T): Cause' I know you used to date Lorelai's daughter.
JESS: Don't talk about that, someone might hear it.
LIZ: Well is it a secret?
JESS: To them it is. (he gestures towards LOGAN, COLIN, and FINN)
LIZ: Oh. Got it. Which one of them is her boyfriend?
JESS: The blonde one.
LIZ: Aw, Jess…he doesn't have anything on you. You're ten times better looking. And I bet you're smarter too. JESS keeps eating.
LIZ (CON'T): She is a pretty girl.
LOGAN: (to RORY) Come on Ace, talk to me.
RORY continues to eat her food.
LOGAN (CON'T): Ace…are we in Kindergarten again?
RORY: (to COLIN) So Colin, whatever happened to that milkmaid of yours?
COLIN: I sent her back to where she came from. Thought about trading her in for another one, but then decided against it. Kept her clothes though. It's much easier and much less expensive to have an American woman dress up in them.
RICHARD: (to LOGAN) So, Logan, how is your father doing?
LOGAN: He's very well. Finally got away from the office for a day to have Thanksgiving with the family.
RICHARD: Oh? So how did you manage to get away?
LOGAN: (looks at RORY) Well, I wanted to spend time with my loving, wonderful, girlfriend and her family.
RORY pretends not to hear him and keeps eating.
RORY: (to SOOKIE across the table) Sookie, this stuffing is amazing!
SOOKIE: Thanks Rory!
EMILY: (to SOOKIE) Yes Sookie, the dinner is very well prepared. Thank you for agreeing to change plans at the last minute.
SOOKIE: Oh, no problem. Jackson and I can cook anywhere. Right Jackson?
JACKSON has his cell phone pressed to his ear. He notices SOOKIE and quickly hangs up.
JACKSON: Sorry, just checking on the score of the game. I've got money on this one.
SOOKIE rolls her eyes.
SOOKIE: Men. Always betting on who's going to throw that ball around.
LUKE and LORELAI eat in silence. EMILY looks in their direction with concern.
EMILY: Lorelai, you're awfully quiet. Is everything all right?
LORELAI: Everything's fine, Mom. Your maid isn't refilling my drinks as fast as I would like, but everything's fine.
EMILY: Oh Lorelai. Do you have to get drunk on Thanksgiving? The whole family is here.
LORELAI: Too late Mom. I already can barely comprehend what you just said.
LORELAI sips a fresh martini.
LUKE looks away, embarrassed.
There is a CLOSE UP of LORELAI'S hand as she sips her drink. The camera pans to EMILY who's face is blank.
EMILY: (standing up) Richard, can I see you in the kitchen for a moment?
RICHARD: Certainly. (to the people around him) Excuse me.
RICHARD and EMILY leave the table and go into the kitchen.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
RICHARD and EMILY are standing in the kitchen talking.
EMILY: Well did you see it?
RICHARD: No, Emily, I don't believe I did.
EMILY: How can you not see it, it's huge.
RICHARD: I highly doubt that that diner man of hers can afford something huge.
EMILY: It's an engagement ring, Richard.
RICHARD: It can't be. Lorelai would have told us.
EMILY: Why would she? Lorelai doesn't tell us anything!
RICHARD: But we're her parents.
EMILY: I wonder if she was ever going to tell us.
RICHARD: I imagine she was just waiting for the right time.
EMILY: What if she got married without telling us?
RICHARD: Lorelai would never do such a thing.
EMILY: Yes she would Richard! She doesn't want us to have anything to do with her or Rory!
RICHARD: Well perhaps she didn't think we would be happy for her. She knows we don't approve of her and Luke's relationship.
EMILY: Why would we be? She can do so much better than that filthy diner man! Why couldn't she end up with Christopher…
CUT TO:
INT. DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
CHRISTOPHER: (to LORELAI) Uh-oh. I think they noticed the ring.
LUKE: Hey, why don't you mind your own business?
CHRISTOPHER: Sorry, I was just warning her.
LUKE: Well don't warn her, okay! I'm the fiancé, I'll do the warning around here.
SOOKIE: (to JACKSON) Oh boy. Luke's getting mad…
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry.
LUKE: (standing up) You should be sorry!
LORELAI: Luke, sit down…
LUKE: (yelling) No, I won't sit down. I won't sit down until this asshole leaves. I can't believe you had the guts to show up here.
CHRISTOPHER: (standing up) I am Rory's father, I have a right to be here.
RORY: Oh boy…
COLIN and FINN watch excitedly.
FINN: This is going to be a very good show.
LUKE: Hey, I'm more of a father to Rory then you'll ever be!
SOOKIE: Oh boy…
JACKSON: Oh boy.
CHRISTOPHER: Just because you're with Lorelai doesn't mean you can replace me as Rory's father.
LUKE: Well you're doing a pretty lousy job! I know why you're here, Lorelai knows why you're here. You wanna be with Lorelai. Well that's too damn bad, because Lorelai and I are engaged!
LORELAI drinks another martini.
LORELAI: Luke, why don't you sit down.
LUKE: I've had about enough of you coming here and messing things up.
CHRISTOPHER: Would you please stop yelling? You're upsetting the guests.
LUKE: You wanna take this outside?
CHRISTOPHER: No, I want to make peace with you. Let's sit down and have a nice dinner. We're a family now.
LUKE: You'll never be a part of my family. You're exiled from this family.
CHRISTOPHER: You can't exile me from this family.
LORELAI: Yeah, Luke, you can't exile people from my family.
LUKE: Lorelai, you're drunk. I don't want you going anywhere near him today or ever again.
LORELAI stands up, looks at LUKE, and splashes the rest of her martini on him. She drops the glass and leaves the room.
Everyone is silent.
RORY looks at LUKE, then looks at JESS, then LOGAN. She stands up.
LOGAN: Ace!
RORY: (to LOGAN) Don't follow me!
She chases after LORELAI.
EMILY AND RICHARD are shown standing in the back of the room, looking down at the floor.
FINN: (to COLIN) I hate to see her leave but love to watch her walk away.
COLIN: Rory?
FINN: Her mother.
COLIN: She is gorgeous. And awfully drunk.
FINN: Think she's drunk enough to go home with me?
COLIN: No woman with an ass like that could ever be that drunk.
CUT TO:
EXT. ELDER GILMORE HOME DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER
LORELAI is standing outside. RORY runs towards her.
RORY: Hey. Are you okay?
LORELAI: I'm fine. Go back inside.
RORY: Mom, you're not okay. What happened with you and Luke?
LORELAI: I'm fine, really, go back inside.
RORY: We should leave.
LORELAI: Sookie hasn't served desert.
RORY: We don't need desert. You need to go home. You're drunk. You're acting crazy.
LORELAI: (laughs) I'm acting crazy?
RORY: Yes, you are. You just spilled a drink on Luke in front of everyone!
LORELAI: You're the one who's acting crazy!
RORY: What?
LORELAI: You kissing Logan- in front of Jess! What the hell are you doing?
RORY: Mom…Logan's my boyfriend.
LORELAI: And Jess means nothing to you?
RORY: No…I don't know…I don't know what he means to me, I don't know what's going on.
JESS comes outside with a lighter and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. As he closes the door behind him, he notices RORY and LORELAI. He quickly goes back inside.
CUT TO:
INT. DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
JESS enters the dining room. CHRISTOPHER has left. There is some quiet talking in the background. LUKE sits by himself sulking. JESS sits down next to LUKE.
RORY enters the room and sits back down next to LOGAN.
LOGAN: Is your mom okay?
RORY: She'll be fine. We're leaving soon.
LOGAN: Oh. Well, I'll take care of your plate. I think the maid went on her coffee break.
RORY: Actually I was gonna eat a little more.
LOGAN: You already ate two plates.
RORY: I could eat ten plates of Sookie's food.
LOGAN: You're gonna get fat if you keep eating like that.
The table becomes silent. The camera pans to JESS and LUKE. JESS is silent with a very angry face, trying to keep himself from exploding.
LUKE: (hushed) Jess, no!
JESS: I'm gonna kill him.
LUKE: Count backwards from ten Jess. Take deep breaths.
JESS: (stands up, ignoring LUKE) (to LOGAN) You know, if I was lucky enough to be dating someone as beautiful as Rory, I would never say anything like that to her. You should watch your mouth.
LOGAN: And why's that?
JESS: Cause I'm about to put my fist in it.
LOGAN: (standing up) Sounds to me like someone is a little jealous. (rolling up his sleeves) Unfortunately, Rory doesn't date beatniks.
JESS: No, she only dates blonde dicks from Yale.
JESS storms out of the room.
LIZ, TJ, and LUKE look at each other.
TJ: I knew there was gonna be a scene, there's always a scene.
LIZ: I think it's time to go.
SOOKIE: I'll start packing the food.
JACKSON: I'll get the Tupperware containers. Who wants leftovers?
Everyone begins to leave the table. EMILY and RICHARD sit in silence.
RORY: (to LOGAN) Just because someone doesn't have as much as money as you doesn't mean that you're better than them.
RORY gets up and leaves the table, bumping LOGAN'S shoulder on her way. LOGAN is stunned.
LOGAN: (under his breath) Bitch.
COLIN: (to FINN) You know, it's nice once and a while to be able to sit back and watch other people make drunken fools of themselves instead of having to create a spectacle everywhere we go.
LOGAN gives him a dirty look.
CUT TO:
EXT. DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER
LUKE, LORELAI, RORY, JESS, LIZ, TJ, SOOKIE, and JACKSON are outside loading Tupperware containers into their cars.
JACKON: (to LORELAI) Well, dinner went pretty well.
LORELAI: What dinner were you at?
LORELAI gets into RORY'S car and closes the door.
LUKE: Great. She's not speaking to me.
LUKE gets into his truck.
LIZ: (to JESS) You should probably go with Luke. TJ and I are going to meet some people from the Renaissance fair for desert. Unless you wanna come.
JESS: I'll go with Luke.
LIZ: Okay. Come here, give Mom a hug.
JESS hugs LIZ. He shakes TJ'S hand.
TJ: (to JESS) Tell Luke I said, I hope everything's okay with him and Lorelai. And if he needs any advice, he can give me a call.
JESS: I'm sure he'll appreciate that.
JESS gets into LUKE'S truck.
RORY: I guess I'm driving Mom home.
She forces a smile.
She hugs SOOKIE.
RORY: Thanks for making dinner. It was great, I'm sorry about-
SOOKIE: It's okay. Make sure your Mom gets some rest.
RORY: I will.
SOOKIE and JACKSON get into their car.
RORY: (to TJ and LIZ) Thanks for coming. I'm sorry that you had to see all that, family gatherings in this house don't usually go to well.
She hugs LIZ.
LIZ: Oh, nonsense. It was fine. You should see the way holidays go in our family.
RORY: I'm sure I'll get to see many of them.
LIZ: Now I know you have a boyfriend, but between you and me, (in a hushed voice) I think Jess likes you.
RORY smiles.
TJ: Aren't they gonna be cousins?
LIZ: Only by marriage!
LORELAI beeps the horn.
RORY: I should go.
LIZ: (touching his shoulder gently) Let him down easy, okay?
RORY nods. LIZ and TJ get into their car. RORY sniffles, wipes her eyes and gets into her car.