I needed to fix some typos in this chap so I re-uploaded it. This is my fav chap.

"I'm getting some serious Deja'vu, sir"

"Shut the fuck up, Jimmie." Sergeant Johnson said, turning the Gauss warthog around to take another pass at the enemy Wraith. Jimmie shot it twice more and it exploded.

"Well, that was the last of them, Sir. I think we should head over to that building with the giant Waypoint marker in front of it."

"No shit? Wow, I never would have thought of that. You know, you are a fucking genius, Jimmie. I'm going to have a talk with my superiors and get you promoted to General. I mean, who, except the great mind of Private Jimmie, would think that the building with the BIG ASS, OBVIOUSLY-THE-PLACE-WE-NEED-TO-GO waypoint marker in front of it was, in fact, the place we needed to go? What are you, some kind of walking GPS system? That can be the only explanation for how you-" (AN: this goes on for a while… will just skip ahead.)

"Who's in charge now Corporal?" Cortana somehow omnipresent-ly said.

"Sergeant Banks, Ma'am. He's this way." A soldier led Sgt. Johnson and Jimmie up a flight of stairs and onto a balcony. Corporal Banks was easy to find, as he was the only other Black person on the entire planet.

"When I asked for reinforcements I didn't think they'd-" The corporal turned around. "Sergeant Johnson? What's up, Man?" Sergeant Johnson and Sergeant Banks gave each other one of those black-fist-things that I don't know what there called 'cause I'm a stupid white boy that grew up in the suburbs and is completely ignorant to African-American culture. So much so that I refer to it as 'African-American culture'. "Wow, I can't believe it's you. It's been forever since we last met. You remember? Way back in basic…"

"Yeah, those were good times." Johnson said, thinking back to those days. "Back when the white and black soldiers got different boot camps. Those were the days…"

"Yeah, not a single Craka-ass white boy within 1,000 yards of us."

The entire platoon of all white soldiers got extremely pissed off at the two commanding officers, and in the background, a tank blew up after a Scarab shot it.

"So I see they promoted you to sergeant, Huh?" Johnson said, not giving a shit about the soldiers who just gave there lives defending there country.

"Yep. What were the odds, that the only two black guys in the entire army would be Sergeants?"

Actually, the odds were extremely good. In the year 2112, Craka Smaka stole Congress's ability to make laws not helping black people. This, of course, led to affirmative action. So the army decided that all incoming black recruits would automatically become Sergeants (and since the army was still racist, would never be anything higher) and all white recruits would be every other rank. Because of this, many under-qualified blacks would be given jobs that they were in no-way capable of doing, and many over-qualified whites would be scrubbing dishes (exactly the way Craka Smaka intended it). No one noticed this, of course, because America was to busy sitting on its fat ass, watching who would become the next 'American-Idol'. God bless America.

After the Covenant war began, it was apparent how bad the Government had fucked up. That's why project 'Master Race' was started. The name would later be changed to project MJOLNIR after the Nazis sued for copyright violation. Project MJOLNIR's purpose was to create the perfect white soldier who would pwn the Covenant. However, since every battle that was fought was in outer space, it was a giant waste of money that could have been used to cure cancer, feed the hungry, or house the homeless. Again, no one did anything about the humungous fuck-up, as America was to busy watching Jon Stewart make fun of it on the Daily Show.

Where the fuck was I? Oh yeah… any ways, to sum this Chapter up, Sgt. Johnson blew the fuck up out of that scarab… some how… and Jimmie was there doing stuff. Johnson probably banged some chick for no reason. Many medals were given out. We now join the story already in progress.

"That's right you mother FUCKERS, Run!"

"Not if we can help it Sergeant." Lt. Keys (The hot chick, not the old dead guy) said. She switched channels and started talking to some old person whose name I forget. "Request permission to needlessly go after a retreating ship of Covenant SCUM and Pwn them." Before the old guy could deny her permission, Keys shut off the comm. link and followed the Covenant ship into hyperspace. Johnson was impressed.

On the Covenant home world…

"You are FUCKING kidding me." A Prophet was floating around in his hover chair that if you get out of then get back in real quickly the game will freeze. You're telling me, that an entire Covenant armada was pwned by a single soldier," the Prophet sighed "again?"

"Yes, Truth," Tartarus said, following behind the prophet as he floated to the far wall. When the Prophet got there, he hit a switch that revealed a hidden compartment.

"Luckily I planed for such a predicament…" the Prophet reached into the compartment and pulled out a skull.

Mythic

Checkpoint…