Comit is a Dirty word.

That's right Biotches and Sons of Biotches, this chapter wasn't written by Blue at all. Don't worry though, I'll try to keep the same ideals of Bad Assery in mind. Considering I invented them…

Oh, and in my defense: I don't forget all of their names.. Sometimes I remember a name… that doesn't happen to belong to them. (Sorry Julia.. whatever your real name was…)

"Well, this game save is obviously fucked." Johnson said as Cortana said all of her Cinema Speeches that the trio had skipped in unison. "Plus, there are so many skulls active that I'm not sure what the laws of physics are right now."

"Whatever.. this is fucking boring. If Jimmy can pwn these guys, this is obviously way too easy." CK said. "It's time to take a little detour."

"What do you mean, CK?" Jimmy said pussy-ly.

Smacka pointed off into the distance where a Pelican class dropship was approaching. "We're going for a ride"

Lieutenant Keyes was brimming with excitement. Finally she could see him again! She scanned the LZ and saw 3 Men standing in the center on a pile of Covenent corpses. What the hell? Who are those two? Two of the men were wearing standard Marine Uniforms, covered in blood… but the third was dressed in Civilian gear with not a scratch or stain on him. She pulled the Pelican around and began her descent. The three piled into the Pelican with the Civilian taking the lead. "Hey, who's the-"

CK glared into the Lieutenants eyes. "You two know her?" Jimmy nodded and Johnson scratched his chin pensively. CK turned his attention back to the lieutenant. "I'm guessing you're the Pilot? Then you an fly this heap?"

"Of course I… wait.. I don't think I can…"

"OK, strap in people. We're about to have some fun." CK hopped into the cocpit and flared the engines.

"What the hell is going on?" Keyes demanded. "Why is this civilian flying the Pelican? And why can't I fly it anymore?"

"Woman, do you know who that is? That's fucking Cracka Smacka I'm not even sure how the hell you're still alive." Johnson explained. "You're best bet is to lay your head in my lap and find something to distract you from your impending death."

Jimmy was in awe, most likely suffering from Bad-Assery overload. He stood up and stumbled over to one of the viewports. "Oh, Snap! Guys, we're in trouble!" Outside the window, a fleet of Covenant Battleships and Flagships were beginning to surround the small spacecraft. "We don't have any weapons that can hurt those things! What are we gonna do, yo?"

"Damn, Shut the fuck up, Jimmy!" CK yelled. "Hand me your Gun. We need a MAC Cannon, right?"

A group of Elites were standing, facing a large projection of a Prophet. "We have them surrounded now. In space they are powerless in every way. You'll have your Corpses soon."

"Do not disappoint me again," the holograph crackled. "It will be the last mistake you make." The hologram dissipated and the Elites focused their attention on their leader. "Fucking Asshole.. He does know he gets Beat down by the Master Chief, right?"

"No sir, that's a huge ass spoiler."

"Whatever… I can't wait till we go turncoat on them and get to start killing Jackals and Brutes. Anyway, what's the status of the Dropship?"

"They've taken 3 so far… but they should run out of ammo soon…"

"What the hell are you talking about…"

"Well, sir… we scanned the Machine and it appeared to have no weapons of any threat to us… Then.. a large Cannon… appeared on the ship."

The leader stood stunned for a moment. "Disable that Cannon immediately!"

"Well… we did, sir. After he shot down 2 ships, we were able to successfully disable the weapon while it was in it's cooldown stage."

"Then how was the third ship destroyed?"

"It seemed to have been destroyed by… a Plasma torpedo."

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" CK yelled as he fired another plasma torpedo. Killamanjaro. Un-fucking-believable.

"How the hell are you doing that? I thought you couldn't steal Tangible objects…" said Johnson in awe.

"Pfft… that's Blue Comit's weird theory… I steal what I want when I want it. The only reason I didn't steal the Covenant's shields outright is because it would have been too easy."

"Wow, that's way more Bad Ass," Johnson said. It was true.

"OK, all that's left is the main flagship. Everyone strap in. We're about to jump."

The lieutenant's head sprung up suddenly. "Wait a second… Pelicans don't have Warp Drives," she said, stating the obvious. "Even if they did, they don't have the proper shielding for Hyperspace.. this is insane!"

Jimmy chuckled. "Fucking n00b."

"Sir, a transmission from the Human's Spacecraft. Putting it on-screen now."

"How's it goin' you alien bastards," came Johnson's through the hologram.

"So, you are the cause of all this destruction. This transmission must mean you know you can't defeat us. Did you wish to negotiate a-"

"Yeah, didn't ask for your life's story, fool. Now, unfortunately, if we blow your sorry asses up, CK here won't be able to steal your ability to navigate Hyperspace. This is a problem, as I really fucking hate you guys. So here's what's gonna happen. We turned Jimmy's gun into a nuclear bomb set to detonate as soon as we arrive at our destination. I'm going to need you to come over here and bring it back to your ship for me."

"Absurd! Why the hell would I do that?"

CK laughed as his famous grin spread accross his face. "Because a nuclear detonation ain't shit compared to what I can do with Equality here." CK then brandished his Bastard Sword.

The Commander thought long and hard about what he was going to do. After a moment, he opened a comm port. "I need.. a small vessel to travel to the ship."

"Sir…."

"I won't return to the ship with the explosive. I'll remain in the vessel alone." He then turned his attention back to the hologram. "Fine, human. I am coming aboard now."

The Pelican and the covenant ship docked. The commander strolled onto the Human ship with his head held high. He turned his attention to the humans. "Give me the explosive, filth."

Sergeant Johnson and CK stared at the Elite incredulously. "Oh, HELL, no," they said in unison. CK walked up to the Elite and made a quick motion with his hand. He then turned to the three marines. "Pwn him."

"Wait.. don't we need him alive?" Keyes asked as the two male marines fired round after round into the Elite's skull and CK cut him over and over with his Bastard Sword. Naturally, she received no response. "Whatever.." she sighed as she unloaded her pistol.

After ten minutes, the firing ceased and the Elite tried to rise to his feet. While he was struggling patheticly, CK spoke. "OK, kid. There are two things that can happen. Number one: you bring this bomb back to your ship; it explodes; you die along with your crew; everyone important is happy. Or, number two: you're a dumb-ass; you don't bring the bomb back to the ship; the bomb explodes; you float in a vacuum forever in infinite pain until we come back for you and kill you some more. Then we hunt down and kill your crew. Everyone important is still happy. Maybe more happy than in example one. Whatever you do, I don't care. Later." With that, they tossed the elite back into his spacecraft and took off into hyperspace. The commander prepared to return to his ship.

Checkpoint...