This has to be my best Love Mode fic yet. I am so proud of it. Even I teared up writing the thing. This short story was written in one 20 minute sitting but for the last month I've been agonizing over the last paragraph and lines. I wanted to make them prefect before I let anyone else see. Anyway, now that I'm satisfied with this fic, please enjoy! hands over a box of kleenex Previous readers have warned me you might need this!
Distance Between Souls
Amagai Seiichi doesn't take exclusives anymore.
He refuses anyone no matter of their position or the amount of money they have. When he informed the owner of this, Aoe Reiji just shook his head slightly as if he didn't understand but since then most of the exclusive offers from his customers had been taken care of without his actual involvement. Which is good, because Seiichi can't really bring himself to bother with such matters anymore.
He does, however, still work at the Blue Boy, having returned to work almost a month ago now. He still takes many customers, goes out every evening as a date for some nameless man to a party or a bar and finally to a hotel or a room at the Blue Boy for a night of seemingly passionate love making.
Seiichi has become a very good actor.
He no longer feels the passion in his heart that his body feels. As a host you're not supposed to get attached to your client, to allow them to become dear to you. Seiichi no longer has a problem with that. Before there were times, people he found he could have easily become attached to, fallen in love with perhaps. Those times have ended. Every night is now a one night stand. The person doesn't matter anymore, it is just a job and he does it with all the care and dedication he would give to any other job. However, when he finds himself seducing the man beneath him at the end of the date, his heart does twinge a bit.
Seiichi has learned that his heart can be ignored while he works.
He has learned to ignore that twinge, to think only with his mind, and he has been successful with the results. He is once again a number one among the Blue Boy hosts and for this he is happy. It makes things easier for him. And although Owner, and even Jinnai, cast him doubtful glances sometimes he doesn't bother with them. There was nothing to explain and no way to do so if there was.
Seiichi understands all of this with his mind.
His heart however is the one thing that stands between him and any long lasting contact with another. After the night is over, he politely excuses himself from his client and retreats to his own room to find sleep. During that time his heart does take control and he imagines that it was Tomoki he was with this evening, that he had once again been able to coerce moans from that lithe pale body and lose himself in the joy of another. When he lays in his bed afterward, eyes closed in the darkness, he dreads having to look at the other side of the bed for the fear of knowing it will be empty.
Tomoki will no longer be there, but even though it has been months since he last held that beloved body, he can't help but imagine it. The soft voice of his lover still echoes in his mind and he longs as always to be able to touch him, to hold Tomoki tight and never let the coldness seep into that body. He knows and accepts these feelings, for they are derived from love. Perhaps, in this respect only, his heart and mind are one. He loves Tomoki, even after he's gone, and cherishes the time they had together, even if it was short. Those memories will never fade. He won't let them.
And so, Seiichi lives and waits patiently for the time when he will meet Tomoki.
But even he knows heaven is a long way from Tokyo.
End
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it and that I was able to squeeze a little of my love for this pairing into you. Please comment, it makes me feel warm & fuzzy. -