Title: This Magic Moment
Rating: K+
Summary: Buffy explains to Willow and Xander just why she can't be a Scooby anymore.
Disclaimer: I claim ownership of nothing except the plot. Buffy belongs to Whedon, and the Montgomery's and Taggert's belong to Jude Deveraux.
Feedback: I would most certainly appreciate it!
Note: Thank you to fairieangel, Toniboo, and Anna for reviewing!
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Sacrificial Magic
"Okay, so you think that that on the night of the full moon in November, this evil guy is going to come back to life and try to end the world? Now, why is that so familiar?" Buffy asked Giles, standing in the Council headquarters in Italy. Spread on the ground and every available surface were books and junk food.
Willow, sitting next to Kennedy and Xander, glanced up from her book she was reading and looked up at Buffy. "Yes. From what we can tell, it will be here in Italy. We're not sure were, exactly, but that shouldn't be to hard to find."
Xander wiped doughnut crumbs from his mouth and cleared his throat. "He's not a major evil or anything, pretty easy to kill, but it says in the prophecy that only the original Slayer in this generation can truly defeat him. So, you." His one eye not covered by the eye patch had a difficult time meeting Buffy's eyes.
"Okay." Buffy took a deep breath and looked around the room. A few other Slayers sat on tables, chairs and the ground, doing research or listening to their conversation. "Well, I guess I can come back in November, maybe a week before the full moon."
Giles, Willow and Xander all glanced at each other, seeming to urge the other to say something. Buffy had an idea what it was. Finally, Willow spoke.
"Maybe you should just stay here? Move here, I mean?"
"No," Buffy answered abruptly, turning around to face her book.
"Why not?" Xander asked, irritated with the unwavering answer she gave them.
"Because I have a life back in New York."
"Doing what? Opening up a school to teach self-defense? You can do that here," argued Xander, standing up.
Buffy faced him. "No, I can't."
"Why not?" This time it was Willow who asked. By now, the occupants of the room were staring at them, very much interested in the answer.
"Just-just because," Buffy said hopelessly.
Willow began to get angry, also standing up to face her long time friend. "That's not an answer, Buffy. You're going to just quit? Run to New York? Why can't you be here?"
"Because you're here!" Buffy finally said, closing her eyes. "You're all here," she softly said. "I need- I need to be somewhere where you're not. I can't be part of the Scooby Gang, or our Slayer and Slayerette team anymore. In Sunnydale, you showed me that while the Slayer may have people working with her, she is still alone. I made decisions, some decisions that turned out to be mistakes, and you punished me for that. All of you did." She shook her head, looking at the surrounding Slayers. So young, and working so hard.
"You barely knew me, yet you condemned me. I died so all of you could live. And Sunnydale just proved to me that through it all, I will always be alone. So I can't be here, not when you're all here to remind me that I don't belong." Leaning down, she gathered up her stuff and headed towards the door. "If you need me, I'll be in New York," Buffy said before shutting the door on the people who couldn't truly understand the life of the oldest Slayer.
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On the plane ride back to New York, Buffy spent the whole time thinking. Thinking about loneliness and what it was like to be alone. Thinking about Jack and the life New York offered her. But most of all, she thought about what it meant to be the Slayer.
It meant not being able to back down from a fight, no matter how much she wanted to. It meant helping innocent people, even if she thought they didn't deserve it. Being the Slayer meant sacrifice. And that was the word that stuck. Sacrifice. She had to make sacrifices, sacrifices with everything. Most especially herself.
And because being the Slayer meant sacrifice, Buffy had to make a decision. It wasn't fair to Jack to lie to him. To run off at odd moments because her duty, her destiny, called. Buffy really liked him, she really enjoyed being around him, but she knew he deserved more. That's why she was going to break it off before things got to deep. Before she fell deeper into the whole that was love.
First thing in the morning, she was going to his office to talk to him. That resolved, Buffy blinked back her tears at the thought of not being able to experience the joy being with Jack would have brought her.
After all, she was the Slayer. And being the Slayer meant sacrifice.
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End.
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