DISCLAIMER: We all know the drill, I don't own Will and Grace or any of the characters used here, yada, yada...they're all property of the lucky NBC productions...

So to those of you reading, hey! Thanks for stopping by (whether you love it or hate it, thanks anyway). This is my first Will&Grace fic, I can't tell if it's halfway brilliant or just plain retarded. You tell me. ;-)

"Trick or treat? Why, you nasty little tease, I'll show you a trick and that will be my treat if you don't get off of this doorstep in the next three seconds!" Karen growled at the small child in a devil suit, who took off on the verge of tears. "And if I see those horns anywhere on this street again, I'm calling the police!"

Will and Grace sighed wearily from the impeccably white love seat and shook their heads.

"Karen," Grace said tiredly, getting to her feet and snatching a semi melted chocolate bar from her hand. "Wait, you've been holding on to this one for awhile, you'd better let me take it." She gestured for Will to toss her a new one from the bowl.

"Grace, you've said that about every other chocolate bar I've handed you to date," Will said, nevertheless obliging.

"Hey, if you want to be little Suzy Smith dressed up like a princess with a sack full of melted candy bars, you be my guest," Grace shot back. "It's our duty, Will, to ensure that--oh hell." Grace shoved the "faulty" Snickers bar in her mouth. "You were little Suzy Smith dressed up like a princess with a sack full of melted candy bars."

"I told you never to bring that up again," Will told her adamantly.

Grace turned her attention back to Karen. "Let's go over this again," she said slowly. "It's Halloween night. Now when the doorbell rings, you…?"

Karen frowned, her expression utterly perplexed. "Do I even have one of those?"

"One that you would never think to answer, Count Drunkula," Rosario answered for her as she appeared in the room.

"Agggghhhhhhhh! GET IT OFF!" Karen screamed, shielding her eyes from the sight of her.

"She's not in costume, Karen," Grace pointed out.

Karen shot out an accusing finger in Rosario's direction. "You are scrubbing every hard surface in this house with a toothbrush for the next month for raiding Mason's cake stash to bribe the redhead to lie for you! Although--" She calmed down a notch, giving Grace's knee length orange and black swirled skirt and matching orange spaghetti strap top a painful once over "--even if you didn't, I can see how you would make that mistake, honey, when you dress as if every day was Halloween."

"Thus if I had the drum set I so wanted when I was ten years old, I would be giving that compliment a ride on the cymbal," Will remarked.

"Drum set? Don't you mean the triangle, you queer as folk?" Grace demanded.

"No, I mean thin ice, Gracie," Will warned her in a mock cheery tone. "Why don't you look around you, sweetie, well hey, what do you know, you're walking on it!"

Grace stared at him. "Why is it suddenly my fault that God--or maybe in your case, Goddess--was in a bad mood the day you came into creation?"

"Ohhhh, is that what it is? I had wondered about all the questions I had in life that started with why!"

"This is the wrong holiday for your little lovers' quarrel!" Jack snapped as he skipped into the room. "That kind of mouth should be reserved for Thanksgiving dinner! Or Christmas! A holiday where it reminds us of its true meaning!"

Will shrugged. "Just warming up."

"Well, I'm warmed up." Karen held out her empty glass that formerly held a vodka on the rocks to her maid. "Rosie, you know the drill. Now snap to it before I send you on the death march with Mason!"

"I haven't heard that one before," Grace offered.

"Oh…" Karen waved a hand dismissively. "The boy has it in his head that he can dress up in about five different costumes over the course of the night and quintuple his candy intake, the staff draws straws every year to see who gets stuck with him…Rosie wouldn't hold up year after year, and I don't know who I would close off all venues of relief to when she has the stomach flu in the winter."

Jack tilted his head quizzically. "But you could do that to any of your staff, Kare."

"And you have," Will added.

"Yeah Jackie, but…" Karen sighed nostalgically. "It just isn't the same."

"You'd better watch it, lady, or you will find yourself my venue of relief this winter," Rosario warned her.

Karen chuckled. "Oh Rosie. You kill me."

"I might." Rosario shrugged. "I don't know what I put in your drink this time around."

"Yeah, too busy secretly hoarding candy corn and gumdrops to remember what you did!" Karen shouted after her. "I'd better not hear any complaints when you wake up to your stomach being cut open and emptied in the middle of the night!"

Rosie stuck her head back in the room. "And I'd better not hear any complaints when I take whatever is being used to do so and sticking it through your jugular vein."

Grace dropped the Milky Way bar she had furtively been trying to consume with a groan. "What is that running away in the distance? Oh yeah--I think it's my appetite."

"Well, that's something we never thought we'd see," Will remarked, "kinda like a remake of Land of the Dead."

"Ugh." Jack groaned. "I didn't even need to hear the title to know it already was dead."

The doorbell cut into their banter, and Grace pulled Karen to her feet. "Now we're going to try this again," she told her, "and remember what I showed you before."

"Can you at least open the door?" Karen grumbled at her. "I don't think I know how."

Grace rolled her eyes and did as Karen asked, where they were greeted by the sight of a small girl dressed in an angel costume.

"Oh yeah," Karen said derisively, squinting at her, "that's what you want us to believe now, Monica, but underneath that glowing halo and all that glitter, you're waiting for your own version of Hugh Hefner to answer the door, am I wrong? I don't know--" Karen swung a fun size bag of Skittles in front of her. "Does a dirty little mind deserve such a clean little treat? I don't think so!" With that, she started to slam the door, but Grace caught it as the angel ran away and another girl took her place.

"Watch, Karen," she ordered. "One more time. Just watch." She bent down to the girl's height and smiled widely. "Happy Halloween, sweetheart, what a pretty little princess you--"

"I'm supposed to be Barbie!" the girl screeched as she pulled back her foot and released it at full speed toward Grace's leg, who seemed to be stuck in her position in pain for about ten seconds before her face took on a menacing expression. "You little--" She started to lunge after her, but Will pulled her back, and they both turned to face Karen.

"That…didn't count," Grace said hurriedly as she shut the door.

"Someone needs to teach their kid Halloween etiquette," Will said.

"Yeah, really." Jack rolled his eyes. "I don't know what she was going on about, I never noticed the differences between a princess and Barbie when I was little."

"Yeah, well, you were happy with either one," Will pointed out. "Kids these days are more demanding."

"And kids these days don't need to be fatter than they already are," Grace seethed as she stole the bowl of candy and started helping herself. "I say we call it quits, it's not like any of them has any appreciation anyway."

"Save for you, apparently," Will said as he watched her.

"Well, it's been fun, kids," Karen said, killing off her second drink, "and I'm not saying we can't have a bit more, but I'm going to take a breather before we do." She went for the door.

"Karen, your blood and any other bodily fluid you might possess has long since been substituted for gin and vodka," Will said, "I doubt you even know what a breather is."

"Well, it's not something I'll get while inhaling the same air as you, Wilma," Karen said coolly.

"Again I point out to you, you don't inhale air, you--"

"I know, I know, I inhale everything but," Karen snapped at him. "Get some new material. I am." She stalked to the stairs, heading for your room.

"Wait! Kare!" Jack called out desperately. "What are you doing? Is it something inappropriate? If it is, can I come up too?"

"Next time, Jackie," she sang out in response.

Ugh.

She loved Halloween, and she hated it. There wasn't much she could do to ruin it for the little ones; save for locking Mason in his room and slipping Olivia five bucks an hour to loudly devour M&M's and Hershey bars outside his door. She chuckled at the memory of it, as she rummaged through the drawer containing her own personal candy.

No…no…nope…no, too soft…uh-uh…side effects I didn't appreciate…Karen thought to herself, rifling impatiently through the multitude of bottles, and realizing the novelty had worn off for most of them. She dug through her purse, trying to find something new, and when she did, popped a few of them in her mouth, washing them down with a Scotch.

Mmm. That was better. She allowed herself to fall back on to her silk sheets. Just for a few minutes. She knew a few more appearances would be necessary to make sure Jack wasn't getting too excited by all the valuable paraphernalia in the living room.