Disclaimer- see first chapter

January 8, 1994

Caro Diary,

Sorry again. I've been thinking about where we are in the story. This now is the part most hard to right down on paper. Not because of any type of hardship or trouble, but because I really haven't thought about it in such a long time.

After the night he came for me, we lived like vagabonds, or criminali, not seeing anyone, and no one seeing us. Then one day, a mere four months after my death, I began to notice a disquieting metamorphosis in my husband. As a vampire, he had become more ruthless, dangerous, more thirsty for blood, and most eager to kill anyone. This was most disturbing to me. When we had known each other in happier years, he had been a sweet and caring type of guy. But now, the demons that grossmutter always told me existed in all people seemed to be coming out in him.

Damon began muttering night and day about Stefan and his wish to find him and end his life for being such a traitor to him.

Soon, it all became just too much. We parted ways, not on amicable or amorous terms. We fought constantly before I made my decision to leave him.

Then he joined one of the free companies, ruthless groups of banditi, who torture and kill all their victims.

I, meanwhile, chose to lead a good life. I stayed in Italy, and got myself in the favor of several handsome young men. That was fine for awhile, but my wonderer's heart was quick to tire. I became a sort of a homeless Diana. I wandered from place to place. On a whim, I even went to Germany, to Wilhelm's estate. No matter how much I wish to, I cannot forget the look on his face the night I saw him. Though he was much older at that point, I still could see the face of a man who had once been in love, had hopes and dreams, crushed to death by a selfish young girl.

He was saying his prayers by his bedside that night, and crying the tears of a lonely man. He never married, just lived out his days alone, being forced to have mistresses and produce bastards to keep the family intact.

I never again saw my family. To Grossmutter, it was no big loss I suppose. But to my parents and brother, the only wish I had for them was to be able to tell them I was all right.

But that would've been too painful for both parties. As the years went by, I am ashamed to say I tried to forget my family. As the twentieth century dawned, I found new opportunity. I took a steamship to America. I took a job as an actress with a traveling theatre company, and made a good wage. After I had saved up enough money, the need for high living resurfaced, and I placed myself in the hands of American society. I was a hit with everyone, although here, being nuovi soldi, or new money is frowned upon. But that was only what they knew.

In a strange twist of fate, one of the few relationships I had during that time period was with an ancestor of Wilhelm's. We grew very close. He even proposed marriage to me.

He was so unlike Wilhelm. He was spontaneous and unlikely. He had a love of life and he lived with vigor.

In a way, I guess, James Andrew Falkstein was my perfect man, which leads me to wonder. Would Wilhelm have been like that if I would have given him any sort of opportunity? It just shows how foolish young girls can be.

Anyway, all was well until 1917, when James left to fight in the Great War for his country. He was killed in action two months later, and I was left alone.

That was when I sort of lost it. Over the next seventy years, I became selfish, and ruthless, sucking dry anyone I could find.

In 1991, a mere three years ago, my wonderings brought me to the town of Fell's Church, Virginia. The past seemed alive to me here. It was a good feeling.

One night, after feeding, I was just wandering around when I happened to stumble on to a clearing. I heard in my mind two mental voices that were as much a part of me as my own, but I hadn't heard either for centuries.

One was Stefan Salvatore. The other was Damon, my husband, whom I hadn't seen in five hundred years.

The hour is late. The story will continue.

fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Selina

Incarnated-soul- Thanks again for your review! I'm not offended by your thoughts on Selina's Grossmutter. That's how you're supposed to feel about her!

And the whole Damon-damonen thing was pure coincidence, but I'm glad you liked it!

Oh, and we have a new member In the La Luna Bella fan club. Yay!

tyiagirl- Thanks for reviewing my story, and welcome to the world of Selina!