Songfic

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Dean Portman, or Fulton Reed sigh though I wish I did, I do, however own Merci (mercy) (and she will keep appearing). This is my first fic, so please please be nice.

Scars

I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

"Forget it! I can't believe I ever though you cared!" Merci stormed out of Dean Portmans aparement, slamming the door.

My weakness is, that I care too much

My scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open, just to feel

"Don't worry, Dean, I'll be back before you know it." "But, Mommy, aren't you scared?" A 5-year old Dean asked. "A plane is just like a car, sweetheart, except in the air."

"...and in other news flight 501 on Amadeup Airline got Portland went down this afternoon. No survivors were found."

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

Pissed cause you came around

Why don't you just go home?

"Damnit, Portman! Give me the bottle! For the last time, its not your fault Merci left!" Fulton made another grab at the beer in Portmans hand. "Go home!" was all he said. Fulton tried again. He missed. Then Portman punched him. Hard. "Go home." Fulton left.

Cause you channel all your pain

and I can't help you fix yourself

Your making me insane

Portman looked at her crying face, without much emotion. "Just leave, I don't need this, its not my problem, its yours." Merci looked at him, horrified. "What exactly do you mean by my problem? I didn't just get myself pregnent!"

All I can say is

I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

My weakness is

that I care too much

Portman sat in his apartment, holding another beer, staring at the phone, tears running down his face. Silent tears. "I just had to. I just had to push her away. I can't let myself be happy. I'm so stupid."

Our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear myself open just to feel

"Dad! Stop! Please don't!" 10 year old Dean ran to his room, trying to evade the blows that just kept raining. His dad had been like this since the plane crash, since the beer.

I tried to help you once, against my own advice

I saw you going down

But you never recognized

"Dean, please just pay attention to me for one second!" Portman rolled over and looked at her through his drunken stupor. "Yes?" "Talk to me, please! Explain to me why your drinking so much. Your startign to scare me." "I don't want to right now, but I do want-" Portman grabbed for her.

So I offered you my hand

Compassions in my nature

Tonight is our last stand

"Dean, get off of me! Your drunk!" "Come on, Merci, you've never fought me before." "Dean, no!"

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down, and I just wanna be alone

You shouldn't ever come around, why don't you just go home

"Merci?" Portman looked suprised to see her. "What are you doing here?" "Just wanted to see you, you know, one last time."

Cause your drowning in the water

And I tried to grab your hand

I left my heart opne

But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself

"One last time? What are you talking about?" "I-" She stopped "We did all we could to help you. Theres nothign left to do but-" she held back her tears "give up." He looked at her "We?" "The ducks and I." He paused, remembering Fultons attepmts at helping, then Mercis, and what he had done to both of them.

I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I've got to move on with my own life

I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I've got to move on with my own life

"I wish I could keep trying, but with Matthew Dean on the way..." She trailed off. Portmans head shot up "Matthew Dean?" "She looked straight into his eyes, hers wet with tears and put his hand on her growing belly. "Our son." She walked away.