Fanfic by Blueroseulan

November 18, 2005

AN: Eiou! Once again, as promised, another chappie!

First and foremost, I would really like to apologize for a tremendous mistake I've made… actually, if you look at it, this whole fic is a mistake Sobs TT… I mistook a geisha as a prostitute... (so now you see where our problem starts) I would want to make a few clarifications though: What my other reviewers said was right: A geisha doesn't pleasure men… they're more of fashion models during their era in Japan back then. They are not women of the night, rather, they entertain… so they're not sex symbols. Ok?

I'm really really sorry for having this mixed up… It is only when my readers pointed that error out did I hear about the book Memoir of a Geisha… I'm really really sorry… I haven't started reading the book yet, but I will. It's a good book they say. (I heard the movie's coming out this December… I plan to watch it of course.)

But regarding this fic, I won't put it on hold just because of this error, rather, I will try to finish it up to the end, and hopefully recreate a fic a bit similar to this one (with a different plot of course) but with lesser errors and wrong implications.

I'm really sorry. I hope I don't get multiple flames for this. I just hope you guys would understand and help me learn more about this stuff.

RK doesn't belong to me.

Oh and before I forget, I've posted another multi-chapter fic on FF net. It's set on the OVA/ Seisouhen arc. KnK of course. It's called Separate me From You. Please give it a shot and review.

K
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The Ishinshishi headquarters was dark and silent as the shadow assassin silently stalked towards the main entrance. He had wanted to talk to Master Katsura, wanted to tell him something so important. He had known that the older man had been very mad at his sudden disappearance and lack of enthusiasm at his work. He had been questioned about it, but Katsura could never draw any coherent answer from the Hitokiri. Except maybe for tonight.

The guards who were watching on the front porch had a mixed expressions flashing on their faces. He had known that he was to be banned on the Ishinshishi headquarters. They would fight back, if he still proceeded. But he knew this men, knew their attitudes just like his own, and so, just one look of a murderous glint passed on to them was enough to send them scurrying to open the gates.

K

"YOU'RE WHAT!"

He was sure Katsura's roar would have reached even the far outskirts of Kyoto.

"I'm leaving the Ishin." He calmly said.

Katsura's face held on a look of pure rage and disbelief. What had changed in his most prized assassin for the boy to suddenly quit?

"Himura, do you know what you're saying! The revolution has not been finished! You're the Ishin's ace for God's sake!" he roared, almost upturning the low table in its stead.

His answer was cool and undaunted. "I'm married and I'm settled. "

For a moment, Kenshin thought the old man would suddenly convulse and have a heart attack there and then. What with the murderous look that had plastered itself on his wrinkled face. But his voice was quick to dismiss any feel of pity to the younger assassin.

"YOU"RE WHAT! WHAT IN KAMI-SAMA'S NAME HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO! DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK SOMEONE WOULD LOVE YOU? AFTER THE MONSTER YOU HAVE BECOME? HAH! YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION! YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA! YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE WAR!"

Inwardly, he was itching to grab his katana and deliver a quick slash on his master's face. But that was not how he worked. Although Katsura had indeed been in charge with creating his Battousai persona, he still respected the older man. Though this time, he would have to disobey his master for the first time.

"Katsura-san," he started, voice low and bangs hiding his glinting amber eyes." For several years I have been faithful to you. And I never disobeyed your orders. When you say I kill, I kill, even if my judgment has been clouded and I never knew what I had been fighting for. Demo," he said, looking up and scaring the old man, "I won't allow that now." He finished, putting dark emphasis to his words.

Before Katsura had any more words to say, the Hitokiri Battousai quickly turned upon his heels, fully intending to leave the room and the Ishinshishi compound, forever. But it was not before he heard Katsura's enraged voice from behind

"IT'S NOT YET OVER HIMURA… THE WAR HAS NOT BEEN WON …YOU ARE ALL IT TAKES TO WIN!AND I SWEAR WE'RE NOT FINISHED! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HAVE TO BURN THE WHOLE OF JAPAN TO FIND YOU, I WILL!"

K
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It was already dawn when he came back to the house. Opening the shoji, he found her sleeping form still wrapped around thick layers of blanket, her breathing deep and heavy. He smiled, in spite of the fact that his mind had suddenly entered the state of turmoil. I'm glad she isn't awake… Moving sideward to exchange his gi to a much comfortable yukata, he felt her stir and so he turned to face her.

"Kenshin? Kenshin is that you?" she said softly, sleepy eyes opening.

'Yes. Go to sleep." He murmured. "Did I wake you up when I went out?" he asked, a bit guilty for having woken her up.

"Hai…but. I chose not to worry; I knew you'd always come home." sleepily She said, voice light and soft, a smile gracing her face.

He nodded and slid his body next to hers. But even as he spooned her nearer to his side, and tried to sleep, Katsura's voice kept reeling in his head.

YOU'RE A MONSTER..

JUST A MONSTER…

MADE FOR KILLING…

K
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"He has been awfully quiet today." She thought as she waited patiently for him at the porch. "I know there's something bothering him… What's bothering him?"

She heard him come out. The closing of the shoji and the silent whispers of his tabi echoing in the wooden floor.

"Kenshin?"

"I brought some tea" she nodded as her hand searched for the teapot. As her fingers connected with the hot porcelain, she gave a slight shriek and quickly pulled her finger away.

"ITAI!"

He laughed slightly, inspite of himself. "Careful koi, it's hot, you might burn your dainty fingers there." He teased.

"Feh, I just did." she retorted, pouting. She felt him take hold of her finger and press it softly to his mouth.

"There, pain's all gone now" he murmured making her blush.

He assisted her in pouring tea in her cup, careful not to scorch her fingers yet again. After that, they settled in silence, both wanting to talk about something, but not knowing how or when to start.

"Kenshin,"

"Kaoru,"

It was so much the same time that Kaoru could not help but giggle. "You first." he admonished.

Nodding, she couldn't help but blush. "Kenshin… I noticed you've been quiet today… Is there something bothering you?"

Yes… "No… there's nothing bothering me… I'm fine." He completely lied. He immediately regretted saying that, for a look of hurt flashed on her face. "Oh… I see… if you don't want to talk about it…" she trailed off, face looking away.

For a moment, he did not speak. Afraid of her oncoming reaction. She was right. There have been some things bothering his mind. Things that have repeated itself on his mind ever since he came back from his visit in the Ishinshishi headquarters. But how would he say it? It wouldn't be easy. And now, now that he has left the group, he had not only jeopardized his life, but Kaoru's as well.

DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK SOMEONE WOULD LOVE YOU? AFTER THE MONSTER YOU HAVE BECOME?

YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION!

YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA!

YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE WAR!

She had made a move to stand up, having been offended with his lack of interest in sharing whatever problems he may have. After all, they were, husband and wife and it was only rightful for them to share each other's burdens was it not? Slightly huffing in irritation, she would have gone inside their room had not a swift hand connected at the hem of her kimono

"Kaoru…wait…"

There was something in his voice that made her turn around. Regardless at her lack of sight, she knew that his face was somewhat filled with pain, eyes downcast with guilt and voice laden with a growing ache. Hearing him like this made her regain her position earlier, this time permitting him to speak.

"Kaoru… am I… am I a monster..?'

She was shocked, at least to say. His words were so violent, so depreciating and containing so much hatred towards himself. For a while, she could not speak, mind unable to comprehend any words.

Her words mean so much to him and when she did not speak, Kenshin suddenly felt a falling feeling on the pit of his stomach.

"I take that as a yes…" he quietly said, face becoming impassive yet eyes filling with sadness and torment.

"No…no... It's not what you think..." she whispered, trying hard to reach him. He would not move however, would not touch her hands with his.

"Kenshin…" she tried to pacify his growing bitterness. When he did not speak, she groped around her, finding his palms. And when she did, she spoke in a firm voice.

"Kenshin... Kenshin look at me." His face was turned into the other direction so her hands forced its way towards the either side of his face. "I said look at me Kenshin." Satisfied when he did, she now spoke with a softer, gentler tone.

"You are not a monster. You have never been one. "

Though her words were comforting, it was not so easy to dispel his fears and she sensed that.

"Tell me, is this the one you've been thinking about?" she asked, face etched deep with worry. He nodded, like an arrogant child slowly being tamed.

"Some-someone told me I don't belong here…" he said, eyes downcast face darkened. " I only belong to the hands of war… to the revolution…"

YOU DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE RATHER THAN THE REVOLUTION!

"Who told you that?" she demanded in a loud voice. "That man ought to know who he is dealing with! What made him say that! He has no right to judge you!"

He bade no answer, one that made her grit her teeth. Although she could no longer see, she knew his stubbornness to really believe he was taking all of these in a stride.

YOU'RE A MONSTER CREATED FOR KILLING HIMURA!

"Kaoru… am I just a tool?..a tool for… killing?' he asked voice suddenly sounding so strained.

She was horrified, to tell the truth, what with the morbidness present in his words… heaven knows who put those thoughts in the man's mind. He was a deep person, filled with so much secrets and intrigue. Having a past darker than any shade of blood and he was also stubborn. He fought for what he believed and for what he thought was right.

"No. You are not just a tool for killing and you most certainly are not a monster. It's the one who told you those words who is a monster. For judging someone will never be right. You are a man. A man who deserves to live and love just like any other man. It's not your fault you got involved in the revolution. It's not you're fault that you became an assassin. You just did what you thought was right. You fought for what you truly believed was right. No one could blame you for doing that. The same goes as no one could blame me for choosing my wretched profession, because that was at first what I believed was right."

She was so absorbed in making him learn that she didn't notice the trail of tears slipping past her dull eyes and falling to their enclosed hands.

He didn't respond, merely closed his eyes and thanked whoever gods were responsible for sending him this blessing of an angel. She was his light; his salvation and one could not comprehend the depths of his emotions far better than she can. Her words meant so much for him. He was thankful for her; her assurance telling him that it is not considered a sin for him to love. That he was still a person, still not numb for the taste of life. It meant to him more than anything because then, he was ready to plunge into the arms of depression with Katsura's words.

He couldn't find the words to say, so instead of saying anything, he pulled her closer to him and descended his lips against hers, conveying his gratitude, love and pent up need.

After the searing kiss they shared, she had settled in his arms while he leaned on the porch beam, watching their growing garden.

"Kenshin?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you see?" she breathed out.

Brows knitting and wondering if she meant the perspective or the view, he went for the latter.

"I see our garden, it's thriving, you know that?" he affectionately said, "The sakuras are blooming at this time of the year and the honeysuckle has started to produce their vanilla smell. My roses are well of course," he joked, voice full of pride, "and well, it's pretty beautiful. But you're still the most beautiful oh lovely one." He teased, nuzzling her face and tickling her at the process. Shrieking in glee, she thought that the man she married was a totally extreme man. When he was happy, his euphoria was infectious, but when he chose to be sad, well… he magnetized everyone's energy as well. Wow… talk about mood swings…

"What are you thinking about koi?" he asked. When she shook her head, a mischievous look passed his eye and his fingers suddenly flew to tickle her at her sides.

"Oh… I see what you're thinking huh…" he teased, tickling her so hard she was pleading for him to stop. Finally giving up, she said between pants of breath and laughter.

"Oh well, you see I feel happy that I still haven't totally lost my sight yet. "

"What do you mean?"

"I still have you… you're my eye Kenshin." She admitted shyly, a blush staining her pale cheeks.

Smiling, he allowed her to snuggle deeper into his masculine chest; ember colored locks mingling with her jet-blacks. She breathed a sigh of contentment and leaned her head against his form.

"You know what Kenshin… I feel so happy…" she trailed off, eyes closing and lips forming a graceful smile.

His breath fluttered as he gazed at her peaceful form. Nevertheless, she continued,

"I know… that the time is nearing when I will have to go… but if I—"

"Kaoru." He cut off, alarmed by the sudden change of her speech patterns.

"No… Kenshin… please let me finish… I've really wanted to tell you this for a long time… just please listen…" she murmured. Nodding his head, she continued. "I know I'd have to die sooner or later... I could feel my body growing weaker every day… no matter how hard both you and I try to fight the disease… and my blindness isn't helping…but I'm still happy… I don't care if I die… because I have you… you know that? I'd rather die with a disease, with you, rather than be healthy and stay at that wretched whorehouse… No… I very much prefer you…" she whispered. Eyes opening and staring into nothingness. Reaching out a hand, she began to stroke his face, fingers unwittingly settling on his scar. "But… if I die… I want you to promise me something Kenshin…please promise me that you won't ever ever feel bad about it…"

"But Kaoru!" he protested." It's like asking me for the moon! You know very well I can't do that!"

"Hush…" she silenced, finger pressing itself upon his lips. "You don't need to feel sad... after all… I'm sure we'll still meet again…in heaven…" she smiled.

He shook his head, almost too violently. "Kaoru… I won't… I am a killer remember! I've taken so many lives …"

"No… Kenshin… that's not the way it works… you have such a good soul… although tainted by the world… you are starting to learn your lesson… that's a good thing and besides," she added. " I know, heaven or hell, you'd still find me." She finished voice trusting and compassionate.

He could only sigh, not knowing what more to say. He could only do so much, say so much or feel so much. It seemed that what she asked of him was impossible, for her death would be the biggest blow in his life. He would die, just die, knowing that she had already left him alone in this world.

"I love you…" he could only whisper… like a mantra playing in his mind, giving him the assurance he needed.

"And I love you too…" she whispered back, reaching out to embrace him.

He did so without reserve, and buried his face in the fall of her hair. It was a mutual act, only for man and wife, a simple touch that meant everything, simple words that gave the entire world meaning. Both could only close their eyes and relish each other's touch. It was something so important for them, something so precious and something desperately needed. A sign of comfort and reassurance that no matter what happens, each one of them would still find shelter in the other's loving arms.

TBC…

Of course you haven't forgotten the fact that Kenshin was still working for someone have you::raises eyebrows suggestively, In the OVA, I think Katsura was a good boss. Kenshin looked up to him, but in this fic… well, I chose him to be the bad guy if you know what I mean.

And oh, regarding once again about the different more passionate Battousai we see now… well, I've explained that part haven't I? And well… He needs to make Kaoru feel how much he loves her while there's still more time…

Cliffhanger? Oh well, find out in the next chappie!

Please try to read and review my new posted multi chaptered fic. I would really really appreciate it if I get many reviews from you guys.

JA!

Bluerose