Only plot is mine, and Selina.
February 19, 1994
Caro diary,
As Stefan drove, the birds followed us. Both Stefan and my husband noticed nothing. The white owl stirred feelings in me especially. Feelings of anger, hatred, and resentment so strong I could taste them.
When we arrived home, I got out of the car and walked inside quickly, wanting only to get away.
Alone in my room, I pulled out something that I hadn't looked at for a long time. It was a photo album that contained pictures of James and me. I hadn't looked at them in years. It had always been too heartbreaking for me to remember what I had lost. As I looked at the yellowed photos hidden between the covers of the album, memory enveloped me. One picture in particular stood out. It was a picture of the two of us on the day James shipped out. I was actually smiling and so was he. He looked so gallant in his soldiers' uniform, going off to fight for his country. Afterwards, we'd gone back into the house and he told me that he would always be with me no matter what, weather he lived or died. And that, he assured me, was a promise. I sometimes wonder if he really meant that. Although we were only together for a short time, I still remember everything about him: his face, his kiss, his touch, and I would know if he was watching me, and he isn't. Looking at the picture, it struck me too how much James looked like his ancestor. All truth being told, it wasn't Wilhelm himself that made me afraid of marriage, it was the thought of going back to Germany. All my life, I lived in Italy. Well, not all my life. From when I was born until I was about four, I lived in Germany. It was awfully cold there all the time, and the wintry demeanor of my Grossmutter didn't help any. Every day from the day I was born, I would have a "lady lesson." During that time, Grossmutter would teach me all I needed to know to be a proper German lady. Eventually though, it became clear to her that I was not an easy person to work with. Whenever I would mess up or try and be active the way Papa allowed me to, she would pull out the horse's whip and hit me with it until I cried and cringed and did what she said. This went on every day for awhile, until one day, Mama was helping me get ready for a party and saw the scars. She asked me what they were from, and that was when I told her what Grossmutter had been doing to me. That wasn't her only form of torture though. Whenever someone would come to visit, she would introduce Katherine, Elena, and myself saying "May I present my granddaughters Katherine der Engel, (Katherine the Angel), Giselle das vollkommene, (Giselle the Perfect. Back then, Elena's German name was Giselle. We were never called by our first names. Only our middle names.), and lastly, there was me: Selina die Schande, (Selina the disgrace. Isn't that sweet of her?)
Finally, my Mama, who could never stand grossmutter in the first place, told Papa that I had to be sent away. So, I was. Mama sent me to Italy, and that's where I happily stayed for the rest of my life. Based on my horrid German experience, it should not have come as a surprise to anyone that I had no desire to go back.
After awhile, I put the photo album away, and got ready to go to sleep. As I got ready, I felt the hawk's presence again. I looked up, and it was sitting on my open window sill. As I turned off the lights and fell asleep, the hawk vacated the window sill, shifting into human form. It stared down at my sleeping figure for a few moments, and stroked my hair. Then, it resumed hawk form and flew away into the night.
Almost bedtime once again.
Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,
Selina
incarnated-soul- That's okay. Selina may seem mean about Stefan, but that's because she doesn't really have any sympathy for weakness. She's a tough cookie. And she doesn't actually hate Damon, she's just disappointed in him. What do you think of the update? I went German this chapter!
a pisces- I will. And does this chappie give you any clues? Thanks for the review!