"…and everyone will hear me sing, 'Let's kill Will instead of Bill, to hell with his law if I slice him raw, and then here comes Jack, what can't he hack, it's…Grace…and nothing left but half her fa--whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt?"

Karen had been singing herself a tuneless little melody as she wrestled her latest victim into the downstairs hall closet next to the corpse of Rosario, her mood having taken a definite lift in spite of the three that were only just out of her reach--that is, until her eyes rested on her nearly catatonic with fear stepdaughter.

"What the hell is this about, Cindy Lou?" she shrieked as she yanked Olivia out by the arm and shook her. "Good Lord, that wasn't Bozo the clown that ran by tonight, it was only Grace Ack…uh…Al…it was only Grace, I don't care what you think! Of course," she added smoothly as an afterthought, "if I were your age and saw that outfit, I…well, you just listen to me right now, even if she was wearing leather and cowboy boots wouldn't give you any excuse to--"

"I…didn't…they put…" Olivia's words were barely audible.

"What? Grace put a spell on you? Oh, for God's sake, your mother gives you ankle weights for your birthday, your father forgets you in a funeral home, your husband decides he'd rather sleep with boys and this is what happens! If that isn't just like Grace…"

"No…in the closet…they…"

Karen's eyes blazed. "That's the last Scotch," she seethed, "no one locks up my step kids except me and gets away with it!"

Olivia moaned softly as Karen dragged her along the myriad of expensive Persian rugs overlaying the blood spattered hardwood floors.

"Oh, stop already," Karen told her impatiently. "So you got stuck with a couple of corpses, I mean, good Lord, it's not as if Saksburned down--" She choked as the realization of what she had uttered hit her like a bucket of ice water and she stumbled, nearly taking Olivia down with her. "God help us, I was just trying to give my only stepdaughter an affectionate, loving example of how things could be worse…" Karen's hand flew up to her chest as she attempted to regulate her breathing. "God forbid, those girls…and Grace…are going to be the death of me yet, I tell you, the death of me!" A diminutive yelp of pain coupled with already existing terror emanated from below her; her rage had taken her to squeezing Olivia as if she were a rag doll. "Well, God, honey, I'm only trying to comfort you…" Karen loosened her grip. "But you see, you see what I'm forced to stoop down to when the mediocre civilians won't cooperate with me! Burn and Saks in the same godforsaken sentence, what the hell's the matter with me! It would be different if we were talking about the homeless or Grace's wardrobe, but…" Karen sighed in utter despair, releasing Olivia, who promptly passed out at her feet. "I know, sweetie…the thought of Saks burning down made me want to do that too."

"Pretty heavy stuff," Will whistled as he perused the label more carefully. "I wonder if her pharmacist has any idea what he's peddling?"

"I think her pharmacist likes to see Grover Cleveland on a regular basis," Grace said. "Five times over, I might add."

Jack chewed his lip thoughtfully. "The name's a little Sesame Street goes on a road trip, but otherwise I might like to see this person on a regular basis too."

"Jack, the chances of that are about as good as your cabaret opening to a full house," Will intoned.

"A very good chance then."

"Just because you consider Will's showing up a full house in itself, Billie Holliday, doesn't mean the rest of the world does too," Grace told him.

"Grace…"

"Sweetie, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, don't worry about the Truman family reunion pie eating contest, it'll all come skimming of like a duck on water--"

"Not that! Anyway, I'd rather be eating pies than having latke free throws and bobbing for sufganiyot while trying to keep my mother from slipping steroids in my kosher wine to help me develop my girly parts."

"You don't need any help developing your girly parts, I can hear them developing as we speak," Grace shot back.

"But if Will's--" Jack began, looking rather put out.

"Relax, young Grasshopper, your girly parts go without saying and merely bloom in sporadic increments."

"If you're finished providing visuals for which I will fall asleep to later on tonight, I think I've hit on something," Will cut in.

"Oh, that? Yeah, don't worry about it, Will," Jack said, "that was just the fat in your waist, hips, and thighs you were feeling."

"You said Grover Cleveland, Gracie," Will said, "who, by the way, nobody will see alive or even printed on a 1K bill, as those are no longer in circulation…"

"He printed his picture on a thousand dollar bill?" Jack exclaimed. "Oh my God, that is genius…if we get out of this alive, can you say definite possibilities?"

"I'll vouch for definite insanity on your part when we get to that bridge," Will assured him, "but that's beside the point right now. I don't know what it's worth to get in touch with this…pharmacist of hers, but I have some questions. And he might be our best bet."

"If we pull that off, I'm going to eat my hat," Grace swore.

"Why not, sweetie, you eat everything else," Will responded absently. He dug into his jeans pocket for his cell phone and dialed a few numbers before yanking it away from his ear and shaking it irately. "No service? If anyone or anything else in Karen Walker's manse said that, they'd be strung up and shot."

Grace grabbed Karen's bedside extension and listened for a few moments before slamming the receiver back in its cradle. "The line is dead," she whispered.

With no regard to where Karen might be at the moment or what she might be planning, they rushed for the upstairs hallway extension then downstairs, then downstairs where they knew there was one in the front room, but to no avail. All dead.

"How is it that we didn't see this coming?" Will mused.

A chime echoed throughout the house, indicating a visitor at the gates, and the three of them exchanged glances of sheer horror as the clicking of heels resonated on the floor between rugs; in order to reach the entrance, Karen would have to walk right past the front room that they were right in the center of, its silk curtains parted. Their comprehension of this dawned simultaneously and they scrambled for hiding places, crashing into each other as they each attempted to snag a spot behind the massive marble statue of a nude angel holding up a glass ball. Jack quickly grew tired of the scuffle and fit himself neatly underneath a golden velvet sofa. Taking no notice of his abrupt absence, Will and Grace continued to vie furiously for a place behind the statue, which would obstruct one, but not both of them, from view. This went on for another moment or so until Grace stumbled backward into the statue itself, causing the glass ball to fall from its hand and Will to pitch forward and catch it before it hit the floor. Grace took this opportunity to squat behind the statue, leaving Will in plain sight while Karen clacked nearer…and nearer still…

He had no choice other than to entwine himself as prudently as possible within the curtains, and not a moment too soon; Will could not only sense Karen pausing only inches away from him, but the calculative pan she gave the room. After an agonizing minute that felt more like an hour, she apparently hadn't seen anything out of place and continued on.

"Fancy," Grace's voice came to him and he gritted his teeth as he disentangled himself from the curtains.

"Well, as you seemed to pick up some kind of misguided notion that you were in more danger than the rest of us, I didn't have too many options," he said evenly.

"Woweeeeeeeeeeee," they could hear Jack as he began to slide out from under the sofa, "have you seen what she keeps under here…"

"My guess is that if it's not something illegal, it's shiny, worth something, or is potentially harmful to small children," Will said.

"Jack, just get out from under there," Grace said impatiently. "Will, come here! I think I've got something…"

"Grace, how many times do we have to tell you that having orgasms is not something you share with the class…"

"No!" Grace hissed. "Just listen!"

"…well, I know you drew the short straw this year, Gardener, but did you really have to bring him back? I was getting used to the peace and the quiet and the satiated refrigerator…"

"What is she talking about, for someone who drinks all the important meals of the day?" Will demanded.

"Shut up!"

Jack joined them, a stack of bills in the larger denomination half concealed through the collar of his shirt, a Rolex on one wrist, an expensive silver bracelet on the other, all while in the process of trying to garnish an ear with a Cartier diamond earring.

"Jack, would you get--!" Will shoved him back toward the sofa.

"I have to get something out of this," Jack told him in disdain, "and just because I can make myself pretty while there's no hope in hell for you doesn't mean--"

Grace's glare was sharp enough to shatter glass, and they instantly quieted.

"…be that as it may, there's ten extra pounds in that bag just waiting to put themselves on him, and if you think that--oh God, all right, I'll be out in just a second…"

"Don't you get it?" Grace snapped. "If she's going to open the gates now, this might be our only chance! And there's no way she could go after all three of us at once."

"Yeah, body mass slows you down, so the best she can hope for is Will," Jack said, brightening.

"While I don't necessarily agree with you on that, Sticky," Will said slowly, "I'm willing to go with Grace on this. I don't have any better ideas."

"Well, then, we have to move!" Her glare went back into place, which she tossed in Jack's direction. "Put the toys away, Jane, and come on!"

"Awww…"

The three of them crept as one toward the now vacant entrance hall, and positioned themselves so they could see what was going on out the open door without being seen. They could just barely make out the gardener and who appeared to be Mason dressed in a Superman costume just outside the gate, while Karen fiddled with the locks.

"Well, if nothing else, she's picked up some independence from this," Will remarked. "Who thought they would ever witness Karen Walker opening the gates on her own?"

"Yeah, kinda like when I came into the office at normal time a couple of days ago and found her not only already there but on the phone," Grace agreed. "Of course…it turned out she was only using my line for one of those 1-900Do You Want To Talk Dirtydeals…but I don't suppose beggars can be choosers, so…" They slunk out on to the grounds as the gates began to swing open, alternately ducking behind pillars and yard sculptures. They caught one another's eyes as they came within a few feet of Karen, and Will held up three fingers for Jack and Grace to see.

"One," he mouthed, "two…three…" The last word came out at a holler. "RUN!"