The Worst The Army Has To Offer...
In a war where all of humanity rests on the military's shoulder, there is one company that you sure as hell don't want watching your back. Company F. The worst company in the 82nd, and the entire Orange Star Army! The company was pretty shorthanded though, only eight people. First off, the company's leader, Captain Seth Elder, was the only person who was trustworthy, honest, and basically had any common sense. His one problem was his failing eyesight and literally couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. The secondary leader was Sergeant Tim Holmes. He was very determined and is the most effective in combat. Some say it's his killer instinct. But he's just insane. He's usually only insane if he's in combat, or with his friends. He likes to make people laugh, at any cost. When normal though, one of the best tacticians there is but, he obeys Captain Elder. Next is Corporal Kevin Jerez, one of the few minority snipers left in the 82nd. He has a weakness for women and tends to concentrate too hard, result in forgotten orders and a bad case of gas. This means he usually is alone in combat, but still very good with his weapon, either shooting the enemy or spying on the women with his scope. Next, of course, was the Korean, Corporal Jamie Owen. He is a freaking big man, meaning he carries the anti-take weapons and maybe some machine guns. He claims being a pack mule is because he's a minority, but Sergeant Holmes assures him that the other minority barely has to carry anything because he can run faster. The other Sergeant, as experienced as Holmes but transferred so he's third in command. Sergeant Gabe Shoup. A born leader. He is brilliant tactician who almost everyone goes to for advice. Except Sergeant Holmes. Sergeant Holmes one weakness is the he admires the Soviet tactics, which basically means that the primary tactic is to waste there ammunition and to charge whenever possible. He fails to realize that there are only eight people left. Next is Private Trey Christy, called "girly-man" by his peers, but well respected by others, his weapon of choice is the mortars. He can carry all of them and fire them accurately. One problem, he's useless in close combat except when it's hand-to-hand combat. Only when there isn't guns does he do well in fighting. Next will be Private Adam LeVeck. His ammo wasting abilities are unmatched. He is most likely to get an overkill since he uses an entire clip with each person, even if the person is already dead. He's accurate, which kinda makes it pointless. Right. Next is Private Samantha Page, the only woman in the 82nd, and for a good reason. Most men in the 82nd are perverts and the rest are gay. Some say she got in on pure talent. Bull. She's a medic and could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. That's why the CO Nell even allows her in F Company. She also doubles as a spy, and like a medic, she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. She is one of the best spies there is since she is dedicated to the mission and won't leave the target even after she finishes her mission until she finishes with her other "mission"
"Yes sir CO Nell." Captain Elder replied. "I'll get right to it. Company F, ASSEMBLE!"
Six soldiers ran and lined up, at attention. They all looked tired, since it was six in the morning. Sergeant Holmes was wearing his swastika pajamas and twitching angrily, he hated being woken up. Corporal Jerez yawned and scratched his itchy butt, which let out a soft squeal of escaped gas. Sergeant Shoup dragged his feet wearing his C.C.C.P. shirt and nothing else. Private Christy wore leather chaps and a leather vest with a leather mask. No one asked. Private LeVeck stood still, a good soldier, but was also twitching and always had a small pistol in his belt, which he wore everywhere. Private Page ran up dressing herself in a black and white robe, but no one seemed to notice that Private Page only had black robes. Everyone snickered at the stereotypical scene.
"One...Two...Three...Four...Five...Six..." Captin Elder counted. "Where is Corporal Owen!"
"I don't know sir." replied Sergeant Holmes."He might still be in bed."
Captain Elder dragged out his cattle prod and walked towards Corporal Owen's bed. He switched on his cattle prod to the highest level and stared at the great lump. Corporal Owen's bed was trashed. Twinkie and Cheeto wrappers were everywhere. It smelled like elephant dung. Captain Elder fired up his cattle prod and thrusted it at Corporal Owen.
It happened in less than a second. The great lump sure as hell felt the cattle prod since he jumped up threw himself through a wall.
"Corporrrrrrrrallllll Owen reppppporting sir." he said.
"Get up and get your giant arse in line!" Captain Elder barked. He turned and ran into a wall, feeling around for a door. He found it and ran outside.
All eight troops assembled in their uniforms. They all agreed to use there first names since they can communicate faster and the typer wouldn't have to wear out his fingers.
"We have been assigned to a mission, believe it or not!" Seth shouted. "Headquarter seems to have had a shortage of soldiers and we are lucky t be allowed to engage the enemy!"
Trey was picking his nose, Kevin was scratching his arse, and Samantha had just noticed her black robes is white in some places.
"Where are we going?" inquired Gabe.
"CO Nell says we are going to be engaging the enemy at Guan, then "Nam," then a country that practices Islam," replied Seth."We have to enter Guam commando style. Get your plane tickets."
"Yes sir!" replied everyone else. They turned back to their back to their beds and started to pack fo what will be there greatest journey in their lives.