Disclaimer:
The Characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made off this site, and is for entertainment purposes only.
This chapter has been revised as of July, 2005 and contains new content. It has also been modified from the original NC-17 version is located at Checkmated and is rated R.
Author's Notes:
This is an Alternate Universe Story in the Harry Potter Series in that it branches off from the series before the final Chapter of The Order of Phoenix.
Of Hearts and Heroes
Chapter Thirteen
"It's so good to see you, Harry. How are you?" Hermione struggled to keep her voice light as she hugged her unresponsive friend. She wanted to scream…or cry. But those things wouldn't help Harry.
He looked worse than she had ever seen him, and he wasn't behaving…well. It was even worse than Hermione thought it would be. It was like this wasn't even Harry. Dread pounded in her ears. She heard Moody mention Dumbledore coming here as if from a great distance.
Her apprehension only increased. If Dumbledore felt he was needed at Grimmauld Place then something really awful was happening. Or had happened. "Why is Dumbledore coming?" Hermione asked, deeply fearful of the answer.
"Apparently, we have a letter only he can open. I'd keep my distance if I were you, young lady." Her eyes were drawn to the letter Moody was waving in the air, such that she didn't notice him pull at Harry until he was yanked from her arms.
Hermione shook her head in denial. None of this made any sense. A letter from whom? What was in it that would make would make Moody wrench Harry away from her. Ginny called out Harry's name. Hermione stared at him, searching his eyes, looking for some indication of what was going on, some sign of the Harry she knew.
Then Lupin said the words that made her heart stop…and everything make sense. "That's not Harry, Ginny." Hermione felt her blood turn to ice water. She looked into the eyes of the boy that stood before her and knew that Harry Potter did not lie behind those green spheres. She stumbled back.
"It is true, miss," the Impostor said. "I am not Harry Potter."
Ice turned to fire as rage filled her. Instead of stepping further away, she stepped closer. "Where's Harry? Who are you?" Hermione demanded.
The fraud trembled, but just shook his head. "I cannot says, Miss. The letter for Professor Dumbledore---"
Hermione grabbed his shoulders severely, her nails piercing his flesh. She pushed him, surprising Moody with her sudden forcefulness, such that he lost his grip on Harr---whoever. "Where is he? Who has him? Who has Harry?" she yelled.
The impostor just shook his head, looking terrified. What sort of man dared impersonate Harry Potter, yet remained such a…such a coward. Hermione was going to---
She felt herself being roughly yanked away from him and Hermione watched, in shock, as Ron violently slammed the impostor against the wall, his forearm under the captive's chin, pinning him several inches above the ground. Ron's rage brought his physical strength to new levels it seemed.
"Answer her!" Ron demanded through clenched teeth. "Who are you!" When there was no answer he pushed harder, causing the pretender to cough.
Hermione touched Ron's back, clutching a handful of his shirt. She whispered, "Ron." She tried to tell him with her tone that he needed to calm down…but that she approved of what he was doing. Desperate times. With deadly composure, she repeated the question for the third time. "Who are you?"
"It is…Dobby," the boy said in a small voice.
Hermione saw as well as felt Ron become stony in his rage. His jaw clenched and unclenched. But he didn't move. He was waiting for her. "That's not possible," she stated passionately. The fraud nodded, contradicting her and inciting Ron to push, again, on his windpipe.
"I think that's quite enough, Ron," Lupin called, with quiet command.
"Oh, let them go, Remus. They seem to be doing rather well to me."
Seeming to taking Moody's words as permission, Ron picked up the impostor and Held him higher off the ground. "Who has the real Harry?"
Hermione was stunned, not by his forcefulness and passion, but by his strength and precision. On the surface, he seemed to be acting blindly, but…it was too controlled. She knew that he could have used much more force than he was.
The captive swallowed, but didn't answer. This was getting to be ridiculous. Who would want them to think this was Dobby? How stupid did they think they were? Ron had the impostor seconds away from asphyxiation and he was telling bizarre stories and being elusive.
She had enough. There was only one question she needed answered. "Is it Voldemort or Adrianna?" Hermione demanded.
Ron's eyes flew to her face and then back to the impostor's. Clearly, he wasn't expecting her to accuse Adrianna so blatantly, but she was vindicated when the boy finally, said in an undertone, "Adrianna Potter, Miss."
Ron's grip loosened in shock and the impostor slipped down the wall. "How?" the redhead asked in a choked voice.
"Polyjuice, Mr. Weasey," he squeaked.
Now this was too much. "Polyjuice doesn't work on elves!" Hermione raged. What did Adrianna think they were? Idiots? She knew how Polyjuice worked. What was that woman trying to do?
"Adrianna Potter has access to great magics. It is all in the letter," the impostor croaked, cowering. Hermione had to admit that his mannerisms did remind her of Dobby. If this was the elf, it was beyond abuse, manipulating him in this way.
With a look of disgust Ron picked him up by the shirt, and Hermione knew he was going to throw him against the wall. But what if… "Ron," she whispered urgently, her hand around his bicep. "What if it is Dobby?"
He froze, turning his head to look her in the eye and she watched the emotions play over his face. Anger into confusion into guilt, then finally frustration and despair, as he finally let the impostor go, allowing him to fall to the floor. He turned away from the fallen creature and ran a hand through his hair. Now what? They needed to know what was in that letter. Hermione followed Ron with her eyes and saw Ginny for the first time since the revelation.
She was kneeling on the floor, looking deadly pale. Ron exchanged glances with Hermione, gesturing with his eyes toward the stairs to the kitchen. She understood. They needed to get down there before Dumbledore did. It was the only way to the letter, to get there before an Imperturbable was placed on the room, and they were shut out. There was no way they were letting that happen. This was Harry they were talking about. They were not being shut out.
Ron gently urged his sister off the ground, circling her waist with his arm. She walked to the stairs with him in a daze and Hermione followed, keeping a careful eye to the adults. They had to move quickly.
Moody advanced, waving the letter angrily. "Where do you think you're going?"
Hermione turned, hands on either side of the staircase wall, blocking the way, allowing time for Ron and Ginny to clear the steps without interference. All the while, she eyed the letter hungrily. There were answers in there. "We are going to talk to Dumbledore."
"Bloody hell, you are, Missy."
He took a step closer. Seeing her chance, Hermione threw him her most defiant look and grabbed the letter from his hand. Turning, she ran down the stairs, into the kitchen, and behind Ron's larger form. Ginny sat next to them and Ron crossed his arms insolently, shielding both her and Hermione from the wrath of the adults.
She felt a flash of triumph, despite the horrible circumstances. They had the letter. They'd get their answers now. Hermione and Ron made quite a good team, actually.
"What do you three think you're doing?" Molly Weasley demanded, in a shocked tone. Ron shrugged at his mother, unmoving. The stubbornness that usually made her aggravated, making her feel secure. They'd get Harry back, somehow.
"Hey, if he---" one of the twins began.
"We are here and we are not leaving," Ron ground out through clenched teeth.
"Then we'll just move elsewhere," Molly said heatedly to her son.
Fury coursed through Hermione like fire. Did they think they were dealing with children? "Not without this." She held up the letter, watching their opponents' eyes flash.
Remus entered the room behind Moody, leading the imposture by the arm. "It's no use, Molly. Let them stay," he said tiredly, as though there was no fight left in him. Everyone was gone for Remus. If Harry…
Stop. Hermione was not going to think the worst. Harry was coming back. He wasn't dead. He wasn't. They would find him. Oh god.
Further argument was stayed by Dumbledore's appearance in the center of the room holding an empty box of Bertie's Every Flavor Beans that he had apparently used as a Portkey. Carefully, he perused the room, lingering on the three students, then gazing even longer at the impostor.
"There is a letter?" he asked evenly and Hermione wondered if anything could break his serenity. If this couldn't, what could?
Briefly, she considered bargaining before handing over the letter, but Dumbledore was not someone she felt comfortable playing games with. She'd just have to trust that he would understand what this moment meant for them and let them hear the contents. She had to trust that he would know what's best.
As she anxiously stepped forward and placed the letter in his palm, she wished she had a fragment of the Headmaster's control. Hermione held onto the parchment for a moment longer than necessary before she stepped back again, running into Ron. She leaned against him slightly, needing him for the support. She prayed the letter would contain the information they needed because, god, what would they do without Harry?
Dumbledore carefully opened the letter. As if he had all the time in the world. As if her best friend's life wasn't hanging in the breech.
"Albus, don't you think the children---" Molly anxiously twisted her apron.
Dumbledore raised a hand to still her, his eyes peering at the words of the letter through his half-moon spectacles. "No, Molly. The letter says quite clearly that I am to read it out loud and that Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, and Miss Weasley are to be in attendance."
Hermione let out a long breath. At least, he didn't seem upset about them staying. What was she thinking? It didn't matter who was upset. Harry was missing.
She felt Ron grip her hand and pull it behind her back so no one could see him entwine their fingers. Thank god for him. Hermione swallowed and willed her heart to a normal pace. Why would Adrianna insist they be there? What did she want from them?
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Lets see now, read this part…yes, yes… here...Miss Potter writes..." The headmaster read the letter with a light and carefree tone, as if it were merely a cheerful piece of correspondence and not life and death.
"Harry is with me and I assure you he is quite safe. I understand your feelings and wishes to keep Harry at the Dursleys' this summer and why you believe it is the safest place for him. However, I strongly disagree. As his one surviving magical relative, he is my responsibility. I will be the one keeping him safe from now on."
Dumbledore paused at Mrs. Weasley's loud gasp. Hermione felt as though her insides would explode with the outrage and worry she was feeling. Damn Adrianna. Damn her to hell.
The Headmaster continued. "I am enclosing a small draw string purse…" As he said this, the purse appeared in his hand. "You can place a message for us in this and we will return as soon as possible.
"I am also including a letter to Ron and Hermione from Harry, himself…" the letter appeared as well, "explaining his decision to come with me and not stay with the Dursleys. Because of this…"
Monday June 24, 1996
Harry lay on his hard narrow bed at 4 Privet Drive, staring at the ceiling. Pretty much the same as he had been doing for the last fifty-something hours, ever since he had returned from Kings Cross. Dudley's horrifying music pounded in his ears and he actually was starting to enjoy the steady throbbing in his temples.
Only sixty-seven days, ten hours left until Harry went back to Hogwarts. He had better make the most of his time. After all, he had a lot to think about. Plenty of sins to contemplate. Lots to repent for. After all, that was the purpose of prison, wasn't it?
And that was where Harry was, prison. Punished with solitary confinement. The Dursleys studiously ignored him. Which was a positive. Their only contact was the food they slipped through the slit in the door.
Not that Harry ever ate any of it. He couldn't even muster the strength to get out of bed and push the untouched food back through the opening. The sight of it made him sick, anyway.
What good was food to him? He was a worthless freak who no one wanted. Not as a person anyway. He was a weapon, less than human. If they wanted him, he wouldn't be stuck here. Harry had to admit, though, his friends were better off without him. All he ever did was get people hurt or killed. Hell, his mind was an open door to Voldemort.
So, as the sky grew dark, Harry came to the second thing he needed to contemplate. How was he going to detach himself from his friends when he returned to Hogwarts?
It would be difficult. Horribly difficult. Both because of the pain it world cause him and because Harry's friends were…stubborn. But it was necessary. It was time to let Ron and Hermione have a normal life. Then Harry could concentrate on learning what he needed to learn for the final battle. And hope that it killed him.
"Crap, Harry."
Harry froze. Was that a voice? Or just more of Dudley's noise? Why would anyone even be in his room?
"Please, tell me you've gotten out of that bed sometime today. And what is this racket?"
Harry didn't turn his head toward the voice, but his heart raced. He squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn't real. It was a hallucination. Didn't people start to hallucinate when…?
"Imperturbis." The room became blessedly silent and Harry held his breath as he finally turned his head slowly.
Adrianna stood in the center of the room, hands on her hips, anger and disapproval furrowing her brow. "God damn, Harry. It's been four days. I leave you alone for four days and this is what becomes of you. You're almost sixteen. You should be able to take care of yourself for four days. You haven't even eaten," she accused, kicking the full dinner tray on the floor. "And this, is just gross."
Harry blinked at her. It was hard to believe she was there. It was hard to believe she actually existed. Over the last few days, he'd come to think that maybe Adrianna was a product of his grief-addled imagination. Or of his mind slowly fragmenting into insanity.
But Adrianna looked real enough now, standing there in his bedroom, scowling in a very real-person way. Had she come to take him away from here? A lump formed in his throat as hope returned, but Harry quickly pushed it aside. He didn't want anyone to come for him. He belonged in this hell.
"What are you doing here?" Harry demanded, trying to sound angry. He wasn't going to play the needy little boy role, to beg her to take him away, to save him. He was done with those fantasies.
Adrianna just looked amused at his attempt, which was beyond irritating. But trying to convince her that he wasn't feeling needy, or anything else for that matter, was pointless. He'd forgotten the Empathy. Shite. How was he to have any defenses?
"I said I was coming, didn't I?" Adrianna said evenly, as if stating the obvious. But, people say a lot of things and they were all god damn liars. And as far as Harry was concerned nothing was obvious.
Adrianna sighed, the amusement faded from her face as she looked around the room. She came over to the bed and nudged his shoulder, telling him, "Sit up." There was affection in her tone, but Harry refused to be moved by it. Even if he was doing as she told him.
She sat down next to him, a disapproving frown on her face as she bounced a bit on the hard bed. Adrianna was uncomfortably close. At least, she wasn't touching him. That was good. Harry didn't want touch, comfort. He didn't.
Sighing, Adrianna said, "So, this is the Dursleys'."
Yeah, this was the Dursleys'. Bitterness formed a sour taste in his mouth. Harry gripped the edge of the bed and kept his eyes on the floor. The silence that followed was painful. What did she want?
"Harry, I… Crap, I had no idea it was this bad. I'm sorry." Harry's eyes jerked to her face. She looked genuine enough, even a bit guilty. "My mother is going to completely freak when she hears about this," Adrianna continued softly. "She could have taken better care of you than this."
Tears were threatening again and Harry swallowed compulsively as he studied her. He was bloody tired of crying. He didn't want to hear about things he could never have. 'What if's did him no good. He clenched his jaw. "Why would your mother want me? We're not even blood?" he said meanly. Why would anyone want him?
Adrianna looked at him gravely. "A lot of people want you, Harry, and if you looked at it logically, without the pessimism and self-pity you'd realize that."
Harry scowled at her, giving her the ugliest expression he could muster. How dare she? Hypocrite. Adrianna hardly presented herself as Miss Optimism. And besides that, he liked his pessimism and self-pity. They never let him down and she couldn't take that from him.
His cousin rolled her eyes. "Fine, brood all you want. But the reality is that there are a lot of people out there who care about you and are putting a lot of energy into keeping you safe."
Sure they were, Harry thought bitterly. He was their secret weapon, the only one who could defeat Voldemort. Of course, they wanted him alive.
"Yeah and how many people even know about the prophecy?" Adrianna challenged.
That made him pause. It was true. As far as Harry knew it was only Dumbledore who knew. He wanted to believe her, but… "I suppose," he said stiffly. Maybe he'd give her a chance to explain herself.
"Oh, I appreciate that," Adrianna said with a small ironic smile, then burst out laughing. Harry frowned at her, fighting himself, but in the end a smile crept across his face, as well. He had no idea what he was grinning about. Life was still retched.
After a moment, Adrianna's smile faded a bit and she said, "You know Dumbledore is insistent that you won't be safe anywhere but here."
Bloody retched, just like he'd thought. There was nothing to look forward to. Harry sighed, looking away. He was never getting out of here. How could he have let himself think otherwise?
"I, on the other hand, completely disagree," Adrianna said softly. Harry's eyes jerked back to find his cousin smiling with a small wicked smile, making his chest tighten with expectation. "Sure," she drawled. "I have no doubt that this is the safest place in Great Britain. Blood Protection Spells are nothing to shake a stick at. But please, there are other places in this world."
Harry's heart was beating erratically. What was she saying? He really couldn't stand it if he got his hopes up only to be disappointed again. But if there was even a chance of getting out of there… "Like where?" he asked carefully.
"Well, I was thinking Japan. There is a small school, for lack of a better word, where I learned to get my powers under control. I can't think of a safer place. You have to be invited to even find it."
"Like Hogwarts?" Harry asked with a swallow.
"Not really. It's not a formal school. It's smaller and much safer. They only work on… specialized projects." Adrianna smiled almost playfully, almost as though she was daring him to go along with it. Harry gnawed on the inside of his cheek. Anywhere was better than here. "I've talked to my sensei. He's agreed to teach you Occlumency," she added in a wheedling tone.
Harry frowned at her. Now, that sounded like fun.
"No need for sarcasm. Look, I promise that this will be much more pleasant than your previous experience with Occlumency. You'll come out feeling…strong."
If he knew Occlumency, his friends wouldn't be in such danger. Maybe if he mastered that skill he wouldn't need to give them up and if…"Will you be there?" Harry asked before he thought. Shite, that was too vulnerable he should---
"Of course, I'll be there. I'll be helping to train you," Adrianna said, again as if it were obvious. Were there that many certainties in her world?
Harry tried not to smile, but failed. Japan. It sounded exotic and exciting and so…god damned far from here. "When do we leave?" he asked eagerly.
Adrianna sighed and bit her lip, making her look strangely young and vulnerable. "Harry, as I said, Dumbledore is very insistent that you stay---"
"So convince him," Harry burst out. He didn't like where that statement was going. She kept going back and forth. Adrianna couldn't come here and tell him about Japan and not take him. It just wasn't fair.
She shook her head. "I tried."
What the hell! Why would she even come? This was just cruel. "Fine, then." Harry was not going to cry, but he might just start breaking things again. Yes, that sounded---
"So, if you want to go, you're going to have to be willing to piss a lot of people off."
Harry breath caught, as his frantic thoughts came to a stand still. He wasn't going to be tricked again. "What do you mean?" he bit out.
"If we go to Japan, you have to be willing to lie to everyone. Ron, Hermione, everyone. They all have to believe that you are right here, at the Dursleys,' all summer long."
Harry frowned, his brow furrowing. At least, his desire to smash things was gone. He wished she'd stop giving him small pieces of information and just tell him what was going on. "You mean we can go?"
Adrianna smiled. "Why else do you think I'm here? I spent the last four days arranging things so I could get you away unnoticed."
Get him away. He could actually leave, but… "But why does it have to be a secret?" Harry didn't like lying to Ron and Hermione. They didn't deserve that. He knew they were worried about him, would worry about him all summer if they didn't understand.
"I can't have anyone following us on either side. People here don't necessarily trust me and this connection you have with Voldemort…" Adrianna paused, her hazel eyes, piercingly intense. "Until you actually learn Occlumency, I don't want to take any chances."
Right, mustn't forget that a mad dark wizard wanted to kill him. Harry couldn't take the intensity of her gaze anymore and looked away. Shite, it sucked being him. But he could leave if he wanted to. Part of him couldn't believe this was actually happening. "We're really going to disobey Dumbledore?" he said, almost to himself.
Adrianna snorted. "What's with you people? It's like he's god around here? Where does he even get off dictating where you go? It's not his decision."
Harry was taken aback by her anger. No one ever questioned Dumbledore. He took care of him, them, everyone.
"Look, Harry," Adrianna said heatedly. "I'm your family, not him. And if it wasn't for Dumbledore's paternalistic crap it might not have taken us so long to know that."
Harry's breath hissed as he inhaled. Hadn't he thought the same thing himself? "Do you really believe that?" he asked softly. A world where they couldn't trust Dumbledore was pretty scary.
Adrianna looked away, saying just as quietly, the ferocity leaving her, "Yes. No. I think Fate had a lot to do with it, too. But as my raging against Fate never gets me very far..." She looked back at him, suddenly appearing tired. "Dumbledore wants what's best for you, I don't doubt that. It's just---"
"---Not his decision," Harry finished, feeling surprisingly liberated by the idea. He didn't have to do as Dumbledore said. But was he finally in control of his own life or was Adrianna going to take control? "You think we should leave?"
"Obviously. But it is your decision."
Harry nodded, so he was in control here. He thought of Hermione and Ron, even Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, worrying about him, thinking he was rotting away here. Of course, if he didn't go to Japan, he would be rotting away here.
Still, they'd be furious that he didn't tell them and they'd have every right to be. Suddenly, Harry wished it wasn't his decision. It would be easier if he could just go and be able to blame someone else.
"Responsibility sucks, huh?" Adrianna said with an expression that was both bitter and playful.
"Is there an option where no one gets hurt?" Harry asked hopefully. Maybe there was something else---
"Nope."
Great. That was just great. Well, Harry wasn't very well going to choose to stay at the Dursleys' just to keep his friends happy with him. Hadn't they done the very same thing to him last summer? Kept secrets, for safeties sake. Harry wouldn't be doing anything different. "So what's your plan?"
Adrianna's smile turned mischievous. She stood and strode to his window. Lifting her wand, Imperturbable fell. Noise that passed for music once again pounded in his ears, but it easily masked the sound of the window opening.
"Harry, why are there bars on your window?" Adrianna yelled over the noise.
Harry shrugged. Wasn't the answer obvious? This was prison. "Long story," he yelled back.
Another flick of her wand and the bars were gone. Somehow, the casual use of magic made Harry feel both calmer and filled with adrenaline. Adrianna leaned out the window, yelling, "Dobby!"
Harry's eyes widened and he finally sprang from his bed. Leaning out of the window, he saw his friend crouching in the bushes. The sight was far from soothing. The last time Dobby was here, he'd been sighted for under-aged magic. "Someone will see him," he whispered to Adrianna, frantically.
She rolled her eyes and waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine." Adrianna gestured for Dobby to come up and the elf grinned widely. Pop.Turning around, Harry found the elf in the middle of his bedroom.
"Harry Potter!" Dobby bellowed, launching himself at Harry and attaching himself to his knees. "Dobby came for Harry Potter."
"Um, thanks." Harry looked at his cousin, while she closed the window and replaced the Imperturbable, wondering when she was going to explain. When he imagined himself being rescued it never involved Dobby.
"Harry Potter is living in squalor. Dobby will clean for him." The elf busied himself, humming happily as he began cleaning the days-old food off the floor. Harry could only stare after him as he worked at a dizzying pace. He felt a rush of affection as the rank food disappeared. He reckoned it was pretty disgusting.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed, Harry turned to his cousin and asked, "But how is Dobby---?"
"He's part of my brilliant escape plan," Adrianna said with a self-satisfied smile.
Harry just stared at her. How was that an explanation? "I don't understand."
Adrianna pulled a vial from her bag and she shook it at him playfully. "This is a special version of Polyjuice, courtesy of a few friends at the MIA. That's what I was paged about that day in Hogwarts. It's specially modified for elves, very rare, with a few extra ingredients thrown in to help modify voice, mannerisms, handwriting…and as with all the MIA concealment potions, they are designed to last indefinitely, until the antidote is given."
She had to be kidding. Dobby couldn't impersonate Harry. He was…he was Dobby. "You're serious?"
Adrianna grinned, continuing, "So, Dobby becomes Harry. He stays safe and sound at the Dursleys'. Voldemort doesn't look elsewhere. Everybody's content, everybody's safe."
Except for Ron and Hermione, who wanted Harry with them. Funny, how he couldn't realize that an hour ago and now it seemed so clear. He didn't want to hurt them but… Damn, he wanted to get out of here.
"If I write letters ahead of time, to Ron, Hermione, and the Weasley's, date them later in the summer, tell them I'm fine… It will be the truth," Harry suggested eagerly. Please, say that will work.
Adrianna nodded, but looked skeptical. "They'll still be hurt." Harry shoulders sagged. Maybe he shouldn't go.
"But," Adrianna continued, "then you'd miss out on the adventure. The travel. The discovery. The under-aged magic," she cajoled, coming next to him and nudging his shoulder with hers. Harry bit his cheek to keep from smiling back, but leaned into her a bit, enjoying the simple touch of her shoulder.
Well, Harry always was a selfish bastard. Why stop now? He reached back and pulled a strand of hair from his head. "You'll need this. For the potion."
Adrianna grinned proudly, taking the hair. "That's my boy. Potter through and through." Harry knew he had just made an extremely selfish decision, but as he shared a broad grin with his cousin, he felt absurdly proud. "Go, get started on those letters," Adrianna ordered lightly.
It was ridiculous how weightless and cheerful Harry felt, as he wrote letter after letter of artful approximations of the truth. Plenty to Hermione and Ron. Several to the Weasley's. A few extra for Ginny. For some reason, he felt particularly guilty about lying to her.
Watching Dobby morph into his mirror image was one of the more bizarre experiences of Harry's young life. But not quite as bizarre as the list of instructions Adrianna left him on how he was to dress and behave, making special care to be sure he always matched his socks.
Packing was fast. Harry took very little, only the most important things. His minimized firebolt, his wand, a few pictures, a few necessities. Adrianna scoffed at his hand-me-downs, saying they would get him new clothes. Clothes that fit him. Unfortunately, Hedwig would have to stay to maintain appearances and Adrianna spent an amusing amount of time explaining the situation to her.
When they were ready to leave, Harry felt the most incredible rush. He couldn't stop smiling, even with the anxiety coursing through him. "How are we going?" he asked excitedly.
"We'll drive to the ferry and take it to France," Adrianna explained as she went through his things one last time. She looked strangely motherly doing it despite the fact that 'motherly' was not a word that described Harry's cousin. He swallowed a lump in his throat.
"Once we're there and you can't be tracked by the British Ministry anymore…oh, I almost forgot." Adrianna pulled out another vial. "Drink this. It'll dampen your magic big time, but it will completely black out all Legilimency for forty-eight hours. By then we'll be too far away for Voldemort to locate you, and he'll just assume you're still here, but blocking him some other way."
So, this was it then. They were really going. Harry took the muddy potion, holding his breath as he drank it. It wasn't that bad, a little spicy.
"From France, we can Apparate anywhere we want to go."
Harry choked on the last bit of potion. "Adrianna, I don't know how to Apparate."
"I know. You're far too young for that." Adrianna said cheekily, absently patting his back as his cough subsided.
"Side-Along Apparation?" Harry gasped, his breathing returned to normal.
"Two adults? Across the globe? God no. Do you know how dangerous that would be? Maybe with a small child but…" She held out her wrist and lifted up a medallion. "As long as we are both touching this, you will Apparate where ever I do, and you will be covered under my International Apparation License. Cross continental Apparition is very illegal to the general public."
Right. Of course. Couldn't have people Apparating across the globe willy-nilly, now could they. Oh god, he was going to be Apparating across the globe. Nothing had ever sounded so exciting.
Adrianna clipped his backpack and tossed it to him. Smiling broadly, she asked, "Ready?"
Oh yeah, he was ready.
Sunday August 4, 1996
It was after midnight and Ron was wide awake. This time, he hadn't awakened from a nightmare. This time, he didn't even get that far. His eyes had been glued to the cracked ceiling of the Grimmauld Place bedroom ever since he had laid down. Next to him, his roommate was conspicuously absent.
Not that Ron was really worried about Harry. Not like Hermione and Ginny were. The two of them were having kittens about 'evil' Adrianna having Harry in her 'clutches.' They had actually used those words.
Ron, for his part, was relieved. Harry hadn't been kidnapped. He had clearly chosen to go to Japan and who wouldn't, given the opportunity? But more than that, Ron was mostly relieved that the son of an ogre who had been writing him all summer hadn't been his best mate. It was nice to finally get a real letter from him.
So, Harry was off on an adventure somewhere and would be returned to them soon enough. Hopefully, with a whole lot less surliness. Ron had every faith that Harry would be back, entertaining them with stories of his exploits. Lucky git.
Ron knew that he should be angry at his best mate, despite the heartfelt apology in the letter. That's what Hermione kept telling him anyway, but he just couldn't summon the energy to be irate. He needed all he had to deal with Ginny and Hermione's anger and fear. Not to mention Mum…
But, if Harry's escapades weren't bothering him, why was he still awake? It's not as if the last twenty-four hours hadn't been exhausting enough. Though, not being able to fall asleep certainly wasn't anything new. Ron's body had learned to fight off sleep as long as it could, to avoid the torment of his dreams.
One would think that having Hermione safely sleeping directly below him would be able to relax him enough that he could at least fall asleep. Or maybe that was the problem. That persistent hum that Hermione caused throughout his body with her very presence. It wouldn't let him rest. Or maybe it was just what happened last night.
They had yet to acknowledge it. The kiss. Maybe it didn't… No, it happened. Ron could still taste her. He wanted that taste again. He needed it. It was like an compulsion. Only he craved it more than chocolate, more than Butterbeer, more than a lifetime of Mum's cooking. This must be what it feels like to have a Firewhiskey habit. Or to go bent. Yes, he was definitely going bent.
Yet, he and Hermione had managed to let twenty-four hours pass, in almost constant company of one another, without a hint that anything had ever happened. Well, it had been a busy day.
Part of him knew that it was better this way. What good could ever come of talking about it anyway? Ron didn't even like talking. Talking about kissing…that was a walking nightmare. It just worried him that Hermione hadn't brought it up. She loved to talk. So, maybe she wanted to pretend it never happened.
The idea made Ron's chest tight and his stomach queasy. And he didn't know why. He was glad she hadn't brought it up. Glad, damn it. Did Ron really want to hear her reject him? Torment him?
Of course, there was another scenario…they could kiss again. Damn, Ron wanted to kiss Hermione again. But all that would bring was a deeper craving, a darker obsession, a more assured future where he was shattered and alone. He should keep his distance, before it was too late.
Though part of him knew it was already too late. He couldn't willingly walk away from this now. His body no longer listened to him. If he ever had the chance to touch Hermione again, he couldn't not do it.
And if it was inevitable, why was Ron torturing himself by waiting. She was right down-stairs. He could just sneak into her room and…what? Grope her in her sleep? What kind of bloke was he? Though, he could slip down and just…look at her. Reassure himself that she was fine. Maybe then his brain would allow him to sleep.
As he climbed out of bed and made his way to her room he wondered if tonight was the night he would actually have enough self-control to stop at looking. How much could happen with Ginny in the room, anyway? Shite, Ginny. Maybe…Ron's heart just about stopped when he opened the door to find Hermione's bed empty.
Then Ron noticed a soft light coming from the crack in the door across the hall. Carefully, he made his way to the drawing room where he found the object of his search sitting in the corner of the sofa with her feet curled beneath her. Harry's letter and the small draw-string pouch were clutched in her hand. A single candle burned next to her, making her skin glow. Hermione looked up and smiled shyly at him.
"Hey," Ron whispered, feeling warmth spread throughout his body, making him feel as though he had far, far too many Butterbeers. He echoed her soft smile and came to sit next to her.
"Nightmare?" Hermione asked.
"Nah, never got that far. What's your excuse?"
Hermione shrugged and held up the pouch. "They haven't written back. It's been hours. I'm just… Someone needs to wait until they write back." She sounded calm, but Ron could feel the intensity behind her words.
"Harry said he's fine, Hermione. Better than fine, actually," he reassured softly, touching the letter and brushing his hand across hers in the process. His heart rate quickened and he felt that part of him twitch, showing its first reaction to her nearness. Shite, he was pathetic. It was just a hand for god's sake.
"He's with her, Ron. How could he possibly be fine?" Hermione snapped bitterly.
And still his arousal didn't lesson. If anything it got worse. Definitely pathetic. Hermione was clearly upset and he was a wanker. On impulse, Ron grabbed her hand, their fingers entwining involuntarily. "Hermione, you were angry at Adrianna because she abandoned Harry, but now it's clear she didn't abandon him at all. This is a good thing, love."
Shite. Ron froze as he realized what he had just said. What the hell was wrong with him? He could feel Hermione's eyes on his face and he forced himself to meet them and pretend he hadn't just called her 'love.' Maybe, he could claim temporary insomnia-induced insanity.
Hermione was looking at him intently. Did she want something from him? It looked as though she did. But how the hell was he supposed to know what it was, if she didn't tell him? Maybe he should try and kiss her again, just in case that's what she wanted. Right. Why would she want that?
"Ron, last night…"
Oh god. Ron's eyes jerked up and only then did he realize he had been staring at her lips. Hermione wanted to talk about last night after all. Bloody hell, what should he say? What should he do? He wasn't ready for this.
"Yeah," Ron croaked, knowing he must look panicked.
Hermione turned her head away, whispering, "Never mind."
She sounded crestfallen, making Ron feel like the biggest arse in the magical world. He couldn't let this go now, not when she sounded so rejected. He was not rejecting her. He forced himself to say, "No, what were you going to say?" His throat suddenly felt like the Sahara.
Hermione glanced back at him, thankfully the sad look left, leaving only anxiety. She took a deep breath and her eyes became fixated on her lap, her teeth gnawing on her lower lip. The candle light made her skin---
"What happened last night?" Hermione asked and all the breath left Ron's body. Oh god.
Ron pulled his hand away from hers, unable to maintain contact and have this conversation. He ran his hands roughly over his face. Should he act dumb? Pretend he didn't understand? It had always worked for him in the past.
"Um," he started. But acting dumb didn't work very well with Hermione. It usually just made her angry. Then she'd insult him and say he was stupid and he'd feel like hell and start a row…
Speak, idiot, Hermione wanted him to say something. "I um….came to your room to see if you were all right. You were…er…talking in your sleep. So, I came over to see what you were saying…and uh…"
See, Ron thought she was having a sex dream about him, and wanted to make sure. Blimey, she was going to kill him. He forced himself to keep talking, his face buried in his hands. He couldn't look at her. "And I kinda sat on the edge of your bed and …um, leaned…then you kissed…"
It sounded so awful. Ron panicked. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm sorry. I just got caught up. I shouldn't have kissed you back. I knew you weren't really awake. I swear I'll…"
Swear what, fool? That he'll never do it again. Ron knew he couldn't do that.
"No. I'm sorry, Ron," Hermione said stiffly, looking at her lap. She was hugging herself. "You shouldn't have been subjected---"
Ron laughed out-loud. "Subjected? Blimey, Hermione, it was bloody brilliant!" Shite! Shite! Did he have no self-control left?
Her eyes snapped up and she looked at him with open-mouthed shock. He shifted uncomfortably, feeling the intense need to run. What was she thinking? Ugh! He couldn't believe he just wondered what a girl was thinking. What was happening to him?
Not looking at her, Ron said, "We should try and get some sleep." He needed to get out of there before he humiliated himself further.
But before he could stand, Ron felt her hand on top of his again. "You can sleep here," Hermione said softly, so softly that he thought he had imagined it.
Ron searched her face for signs of fear of him. All he found was welcoming warmth. It seemed too good to be true. "Really?" he asked a distant echo of the night before.
Hermione smiled as if she were remembering it as well. "Yeah." Her voice was velvet. "I'm going to wait a little longer." Her hand clutched the small bag. "I'd like it if you'd---"
He didn't make her finish, just squeezed her hand, and moved to lie down next to her on the sofa. Ron wasn't stupid enough to risk her taking the invitation back. Besides if she wanted company, he couldn't let her wait alone. It was awkward, as the furniture wasn't nearly long enough for him, but he managed to get semi-comfortable.
"Here." Hermione took his head in her hands and guided it to her lap.
Now, that was nice. Curled up on the sofa, with his head on her thighs, her hands sifting through his hair, Ron drifted off to sleep easily, all his pesky thoughts slipping away.
Hermione could tell the exact moment Ron fell asleep. His breath evened and the tension seeped out of his muscles. It was fantastic to her to think he ever had trouble sleeping. He always fell asleep so easily when he was with her.
There was nothing quite like the feel of him cradled in her lap, his silky copper locks caressing her fingers. Hermione took a deep breath. She just loved him so much.
They were on the brink here. Teetering. Precariously close to falling. Ron could fall either way. Towards her or away. Hermione could feel the potential in the room. Never had she been so close to getting what she wanted. Maybe he wasn't in love with her. Maybe he didn't even fancy her. But he was close.
Ron cared for her. Deeply. That much was clear. They had the strongest of friendships, based on trust, mutual respect, and genuine affection. Hermione would even go so far to say he loved her. As a friend, that is. And now…now, it was becoming clear that he desired her, as well.
The very thought took Hermione's breath. How could someone like Ron be attracted, physically, to plain little her? But he was. The evidence was there. He kissed her and told her it was brilliant. He said she was beautiful. More than beautiful, gorgeous. And she had seen the lust in his eyes.
Lust. Wow. Friendship and lust, it was quite a nice start, really. Essential building blocks to a long, lasting relationship. To falling in love. Hermione had never felt so intensely hopeful and terrified in her life. She could see everything he wanted. Right there. She just had to reach out and grab it. Without sending it tumbling into the abyss.
Looking down, Hermione smiled as Ron burrowed into her lap, like a child with a teddy bear.
Ron wasn't ready. As much as Hermione wanted him to be, he wasn't ready for the relationship. No, that wasn't right. It was the conversation he wasn't ready for. The one where they sit down and discuss their feelings and commit to a relationship. If she pushed, before he was properly primed, she'd lose him. But if she didn't, she risked loosing this…this opportunity. And who knew if she'd ever have another.
Hermione knew what she had to do and it thrilled her, horrified her, and a million other emotions she couldn't name. She simply needed to play up what she already had from him. The two essential ingredients. The caring of friendship and the heat of lust.
He desired her, right? All Hermione needed to do was foster that a little. Nothing crazy. She wasn't a slag or anything. Just a bit of kissing among friends to make him want her more. Make her indispensable to him. That's what she needed to be. Indispensable. Then Ron wouldn't be able to keep from falling in love with her. He wouldn't be able to leave her. Not ever.
Well, that was the theory, anyway. Hermione leaned down and pressed a kiss to his crown. And now it was her plan. Her incredibly idiotic, insanely hazardous plan. She could loose everything, her pride, her reputation, her best friend…. But if it worked…
Hermione had to chance it. What if she didn't and Ron was the love of her life and he found someone else. Then they would both be miserable and it would be her fault for not doing what she needed to do, now. It was finally time to prove, once and for all, that the Sorting Hat hadn't made a mistake. Hermione was a Gryffindor.
She leaned over and blew out her candle, shifting a bit in her seat to get into a reclining position. Encouraged when Ron didn't wake, Hermione kicked her feet up next to him, and he shifted from hugging her waist to snuggling into her belly, causing a fluttering to settle in her abdomen.
Leaning back against the arm rest, she closed her eyes. Hermione doubted that she would be able to sleep….
"Hermione. Ron. Wake up, you gits. Now! If you don't want the twins to find you, you had better move!"
Ginny's voice broke through the fog and Hermione blinked her eyes open to find the bright light of day. She felt a weight on her chest and looked down to see a mop of red hair lying on her upper body.
"You two are never going to hear the end of this!" Ginny whispered harshly, hands on hips. She was doing a wonderful imitation of her mother.
Hermione felt her face turn unbearably hot as she came fully awake and realized the nature of the situation. "Ron!" she said sharply and lifted his head unceremoniously off her body.
Ron's beautiful blue eyes opened and looked up at her. When he smiled, she forgot they weren't alone, a silly smile coming across her face as she smiled back at him.
"Are you trying to make me retch?"
At his sister's words Ron turned red and sprung into a seated position. Looking flustered, his eyes darted around the room. Disappointed, Hermione's eyes dropped from him and she looked down at her hands.
"Oh dear…Ron," she called in a nervously.
He met her eyes and she lifted her hand, opening it to reveal the drawstring bag. There was a roll of parchment inside.