Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Shoko Yoshinaka.

Chapter Fourteen

Dream of You - by Schiller

Lyrics – Centered Italics

Narrative - Black

The room seemed strangely quiet to Zelgadis after Xellos left. It was a curious idea that the Priest suggested – that he become a mazoku. The notion was in direct opposition to what Zelgadis had been thinking previously. He was thinking that he had to save Lina and find a way to make her human again, but what if the answer was not to bring her back to his plane, but to cross over to hers? It was definitely an interesting concept.

Zelgadis thought about himself then, and his fruitless search for a cure. He had learned from Shabranigdo himself that there was no cure for him among the monster race – right before Lina killed him. Zel put his head back and remembered how powerful she had been as she wielded the sword of light, and her scarlet hair turned snow white . . .

And if he didn't take this chance he would be without her forever!

I've been here all the time

As far as I know doing right

I've always waited for the moment

That you would come through my door

He got up from his position and moved to look out the window – beyond everything – in the direction of Dynast's castle. Xellos had offered to help him retrieve Lina from Dynast if he would become Hellmaster's general. Zel considered that simply removing her from the castle would probably not be enough; she would simply go back again. He knew that her love for him had not been enough to keep her by his side last time – he would need more leverage.

Would he be able to convince her to stay with him because of their attachment? How could you get through to a mazoku? He didn't know and found himself shaking his head mournfully – he would have to defeat her in battle to get her attention. Zelgadis put a hand to his brow and found that he was sweating heavily . . . well, no wonder! He was actually contemplating violently hurting someone he loved.

He turned away from the window in disgust and tried to consider other options. This was disappointing. The only thing he could think of was again searching for a cure – not just for himself, but also for Lina.

But this brought loneliness so far

I lay my hand onto my heart

Could he really abandon her to the monster race?

Could he really become a mazoku in an attempt to raise her feelings for him?

Is this the life I want to live?

Is this the dream I had of you?

Zelgadis tried to sleep that night. He took off his shirt and made himself see the horrors of his chimera state. He was trying to decide if he could knowingly make his curse worse – if he could do that to himself with his mind in full acceptance of the consequences – for Lina?

It seemed like unthinkable evil to him, but what else could he do?

He paced.

When Zelgadis finally stood, exhausted beyond all thought, in front of the window in his room, he realized that the morning was never going to come – it was only going to get darker. He frowned. He had spun in circles all night placing his own righteousness beside his love for Lina. Would she still love him if he were not himself? If he gave up what was most precious about himself for her, would she still care? Did he still love her even though she was not herself? He found that he did – he still wanted her even if she was fifty times the demon he suspected she was. He wanted her regardless of the consequences.

And he knew his choice was made.

"Xellos," he said weakly to the windowpane.

Zelgadis didn't think the mazoku would have heard him, but Xellos appeared promptly at the other end of the room, sitting with his legs drawn up by the fire, which had suddenly sprung up with his arrival. "What's your pleasure?" he said, keeping his eyes squarely on Zelgadis.

So, this is what a demon really looks like, Zel thought. Xellos looked every bit the devil he said he was, as the flames licked his white skin and reflected his vile violet eyes.

"So, I'd become like you? My eyes would become slitted – like an animal's if I became a mazoku?" Zelgadis asked, looking intently at Xellos.

"Naturally. Actually, I think you'll be quite pleased with your mazoku skin," Xellos said.

"Why is that?"

Xellos smiled, "Because your skin can look like anything you want. If you want to look human again – you can. Every mazoku has different levels of power and different forms to accompany them."

"Is the form you're wearing very powerful?" Zel asked.

"Very."

"What will I be like?"

"Exactly what Phibrizzo-sama makes you – and that will be very powerful also," Xellos said. "Have you thought about his offer for long enough? Can I discuss the last condition, or rather, benefit?"

Zel nodded.

"You see Zelgadis, we run into a slight problem with regards to your stone skin. Hellmaster had me do a little research, and there really is no other way to slice into you, than with the Sword of Light. Granted, there are many ways to kill you (we could suffocate you or poison you) but he will need to break your skin for the transformation to be successful. This means that we'll have to steal the sword from its owner, Gourry Gabriev. I'll go with you."

Zelgadis' eyes popped open. "What?"

"There is one other reason why we need to get the sword. Hellmaster was thinking that it would be an excellent gift for Lina."

Zel remembered his earlier thought about leverage, and what he would need to get Lina's attention. There was no doubt that the Sword of Light would get her attention. Then, suddenly, he remembered his vision of her wielding the sword to destroy Ruby Eye himself. That sealed it.

Hell, even he was starting to think this was a good idea.

"Let's go," Zelgadis said moving towards the bed and snatching up his shirt, which he immediately threw over his head. "We're wasting time."

"Does this mean you've agreed to become Hellmaster's general?" Xellos asked, still keeping his eyes fixed on Zel.

"That's exactly what it means. Let's move!" Zel said, pushing the door open and moving out into the corridor.

"Exactly what I thought you meant," Xellos said in satisfied tones.

But this brought loneliness so far

I lay my hand onto my heart

Is this the life I want to live?

Is this the dream I had of you . . .

The dream I had of you?

It was night in the little village where Gourry and his woman were set up. Zelgadis had his mask pulled up around his face. Even through the fabric, as he breathed up the thick night air, he thought about how grateful he was to be away from the far north.

He and Xellos had agreed that Xellos would keep Gourry's little woman occupied while Zel removed the sword from Gourry. Zel half wished that he could have stood on that's woman's hair instead of having to actively betray someone he knew, but Zel would always do whatever it took to achieve his objectives.

Zel was perched outside their window now. Neither of them had retired to their bed for the night, so Zel was waiting for them to. Eventually, both of them stumbled in. It looked to Zel that they had both had too much to drink. The woman was partway undressed before they reached the bed, but Gourry hit complete unconsciousness as he fell back on the mattress, so the woman straightened her dress and walked directly out of the room again. Zelgadis guessed that Xellos had already spoken to her, and probably convinced her to discard her usual escort in his favour. Xellos had hinted to him that would be his tactic.

Zel shrugged his shoulders, whatever worked.

Zel had unlocked the window ages ago, and now just had to open it to gain access to the room. He slipped in with the agility of a ninja, and made his way over to Gourry. He didn't know why he felt so unreasonably angry at Gourry, he just did. Maybe it was because of Lina, but he wanted to kick him in the head for being as primitive as an ape.

Zel reached down to unbuckle the sword from Gourry's hip, when suddenly Gourry's hand reached out and grasped Zel's wrist. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Then suddenly, Zel was being thrown from the bed. He stopped himself on his heel before he hit the wall. "Give me the sword, Gourry," Zel said menacingly.

"Who are you?" Gourry asked, now on his feet with his sword drawn.

Zel quickly had his own sword out and was thankful that Gourry had not called the higher power of the sword, and he was still matching steel with steel. However, before too many blows had been struck, Zel remembered his own inadequacy as a swordsman when compared with Gourry and decided to take a less than honourable road.

Zel stepped away from the battle and said calmly, "Sleep."

The keyword for the spell knocked Gourry on his back. As he landed softly on the bed he happened to look directly at Zel and say, "How come Zelgadis?"

Zel opened his mouth to answer him, but quickly shut it again. He didn't feel shame as he thought he ought to have. Instead he felt an odd exhilaration at knowing what he wanted and getting it, regardless of personal attachment. It didn't matter to him at all that Gourry was not much of a man without his sword. Zel didn't think he was much of anything without Lina.

He took the sword from Gourry's limp body and left the room.

Now I'm standing here alone

I'm waiting on my own

For something that will fill the emptiness inside

The moment that you're mine

Xellos didn't tell Zelgadis exactly how it went with Gourry's woman, and Zel didn't ask. He didn't want to know.

Xellos was taking him to the Desert of Destruction – apparently where Hellmaster Phibrizzo lived – on the edge of their world. Zelgadis didn't know what he was expecting; perhaps a castle like Dynast's, but Hellmaster's home was nothing like Dynast's. It stood, a great white pillar, not unlike a tombstone on the white dunes. Xellos stood with him for a moment outside the only door to the tower.

"Would you rather walk before me or after me?" he asked Zel.

"Does it matter?"

"I think it does. Do you want to show Philbrizzo-sama that I brought you or that you came here forcefully under your own will?" Xellos asked as the wind blew his hair into his eyes.

"I'll walk first," Zel said, moving towards the door.

"As you say," Zel heard the Priest say, but as he turned around to see him, he saw that he was gone and he was left to walk alone to meet Phibrizzo – with the Sword of Light in his hands.

But this is loneliness I know

I lay my hand onto my soul

Is this what life has got to give?

Is this the dream I had of you . . .

The dream I had of you?

The room looked empty as Zelgadis entered. It was white as the tower looked on the outside – white like the inside of a sepulcher. Here, it was very easy to tell what was white and what was black.

Suddenly, Zelgadis heard the doors behind him shut – quite forcefully. He turned around to see who had shut them, and saw a young boy. He looked not quite fourteen. He stood with his hands behind his back, seemingly holding onto the door knob behind him.

"Zelgadis-san, at last," he said, raising his dark head to show Zel his eyes. "I am Hellmaster Phibrizzo, and I'm very glad you were persuaded to accept my offer. I knew Xellos would be able to put it to you properly though. He's much better at that sort of thing than me. He always knows exactly what to say," the boy said wistfully and slowly. "And you've brought the Sword of Light with you! That's very clever as we'll need it right away."

"Don't you want to talk to me? You know, to find out if I really am what you want?" Zelgadis asked.

"Oh, I know you're exactly what I want. You needn't worry that I haven't done my homework on you. I know all about you," Phibrizzo said mildly.

"Then you just want to get on with it?" Zelgadis said with a hard lump in his throat.

"I think you'll like what I'm going to do for you," Phibrizzo said steadily pacing towards Zelgadis. "You've always wanted to be powerful, and the strength Rezo gave you will seem like nothing compared to the rush you'll get from mazoku power, and I'm willing to give you everything you want. I'll give you power. I'll give you the little sorceress Lina if you want her, and anything else you could possibly desire. And in return, you'll go to battle for me – that's the 'rush' I was mentioning earlier. Doesn't that sound like everything you want?"

But this is loneliness I know

I lay my hand onto my soul

Is this what life has got to give?

Is this the dream?

Zel's eyes opened wide as he took the shining blade, execution style, in through the back of his neck. He spread his arms wide as a man who accepts his fate until his strength was spent and the last streams of his blood flowed.

The dream I had of you?

Author's Notes: Just in case anyone is wondering, in the manga - right before Lina fights Shabranigdo - Zel asks Shabranigdo if he can transform him back into a human and he says no. So, that's where that comes from. Anyway, love is all around the world. I hope you enjoy the chapter.