April 16, 1994

Caro diary,

I've told him. I've told Damon about Mia and William and who William really is. I also told him some things that I didn't want to tell him, but now that I think about it, I'm glad that I did.

I told him right after we got back from Rome. We were sitting alone in the front room when I told him. I looked him straight in the eye before I lost my courage and said

"Damon we need to talk."

He looked concerned. "Bambi, what about?"

I stopped a minute and chewed on my left thumbnail to give myself time to think. Then, I put it bluntly.

"That guy Mia is dating is the reincarnation of Wilhelm."

At first I thought he'd be upset or something, but he didn't look mad. Just surprised.

"Really? Mia seems to like him a lot more then you did."

I nodded. "He's changed a lot since I knew him, and watching them has made me think about us."

His eyebrows knitted. "What about us?"

I struggled to find words. "I mean, about everything. Did we do something wrong? Is that why we were able to stay apart for so long and live with it? Is it my fault?"

To my horror, I began to cry then. Damon put his hand under my chin and tipped my face up so I was looking into his eyes and wiped my tears away withhis other hand.

"Bambi, look at me. We didn't do anything wrong. We did all right. Nothing is your fault. You have done wonderfully. Every relationship has snags and we'd be doing something wrong if we were perfect.

"I know where all our problems are. You looked at my mother as a mother figure as much as I did. Her loss affected us both greatly. Am I right?"

I nodded, surprised at his perception.

He continued. "There was one thing she used to say to me a lot before she died.

"L'amore non può sempre essere perfetto. L'amore è amore giusto."

I nodded. "Love isn't perfect, love is just love. How fitting."

He laughed a bit. "You know, I haven't seen you cry in years."

I smiled. "I guess I always thought it showed weakness on my part, and what with you and Stefan being so messed up and everything, I guess I thought that meant I had to be the strong one."

He sat next to me and put his arms around me. Then, he said, "I wish you would have cried. Katherine tried to do that, but the truth was we didn't care about her enough for her tears to have any effect. Whereas if you would have cried, we would have straightened up in a second because we both loved you so much."

"What would you have done if you had really known I was in trouble in Germany? Katherine knew about that the whole time, you know."

He sighed. "Bambi, I think that if Stefan and I would've known the truth about you and Germany, it would've saved everything. We would have come to rescue you together, Katherine wouldn't have changed either of us…"

"We could've grown old together."

He nodded. "Exactly. Bambi, I've been so stupid. None of this would've happened if it wasn't for me."

I shook my head. "On the contrary, there are some times when I'm glad this all happened."

Damon laughed a bit. "Oh, really? Like when?"

"If this hadn't happened, then Stefan would've never seen Elena again. I never would have gotten my car, and of course I would've never gotten to make Katherine disappear."

He laughed. "I thought you'd see that as a plus. Do you want to go back tomorrow?"

"What, you mean to America?"

He nodded.

I smiled. "Yes, I think I feel reformed enough. What about you?"

He agreed. We talked to Mia and Gianni later, and Mia said that William had to go as well to visit his parents, so they'll still get to be together.

I'm glad everything is out in the open between Damon and I now. It makes everything seem so much better.

Per amare, vita e l'America,

Selina