03/11/05: My life has officially gone absolutely bonkers. If you're looking for the actual story, scroll a page or two down; I'm about to rant.

Well, I won't bore you with the details, interesting as they may be.. What it all boils down to is that I'm one screwed up kid who's seen some weird stuff in the past month. Interested in my (hopefully) insanity? Well, I've got a Blogger blog, I'll post the link next chapter. Anyways, I'm writing much differently now, even if it doesn't show. Yes. That makes sense. I've made a pact to write three chapters after this one, then see this fanfic will work out. I'm wrapping up this chapter quickly, but the new one will be much bigger. And minus a month and a half delay.

Back to what I wrote a month ago:

To be honest, I don't love how this one turned out. I've rewritten multiple times, hence the uber-delay.

To Lamont, the odd paragraphs are the result of the worst-est English course I've ever taken. The prof was in love with the single sentence paragraphs…still working em all out of my system. So I know, annoying!

AND I have about as many reviews as chapters which makes be do my super special dance involving canasta and BBQed cauliflower. Keep the feedback coming. I need help actually continuing to write on a single story and STILL keep it (hopefully) interesting. It IS my first fanfic, so try not to chew me out… ahh, whatever. I mock first-timers too. 

If I haven't e-mailed you back, VERY VERY SORRY! I suck at email… I never find time to sit down and answer the 2 non-spam a week I actually get. Don't worry, I WILL get to it soon.

Gawd, do I babble. Like a fish. Without further ado, here's chapter 8 of…RESIDENT EVIL: ASYLUM THEORY! (yay)

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Adam didn't seem to acknowledge the presence of Matt and Mean. He…it…raised a giant hand, waving it about, seeming to test the hand as if uncertain it would move. Biceps rippled on the massive, pale arm as Adam tested his hand. Systematically, he/it checked every limb, then twisted its thick neck as Matt and Mean gaped in fear and a little repulsion.

With a huge snap, Adam's neck cracked. Both pale white eyes turned rapidly to the two people invading its home.

Mean squeaked. Matt just stared at the huge psuedo-man thing, an odd ringing in his ears. His consciousness didn't register Adam's growl, or Mean pushing him. There was a sharp pain in his arm, probably the result of him crashing his bad arm into the desk. With a sharp thump, he slammed his head against the heavy wooden desk. He suddenly felt nauseous, although his body was still empty. Light-headed, dizzy, and terrified, he fought back the urge to lay down and pulled himself up instead. With the world a little blurry now, he turned around and vaguely saw Mean jump to the side as the pale man lunged for her.

"NO!" Matt bellowed. With surprising agility, Adam whirled around and gazed blankly at him. Was that a smile? Matt thought blandly as he ran back to the drawers. Impossibly, Adam took a step towards him and leaped Superman-style, unnaturally sharp nails outstretched. Rolling over the open drawer, Matt heard the clang of a hard object against metal as Adam hit the wall directly behind him. Rising quickly, Matt kept running around the edge of the room. Near the wall that had closed, he pulled a very dazed Mean to her feet, wondering when she had fallen. Sparing a glance back, Matt saw Adam pulling his hands out of the metal drawer. Massive holes remained where Adam had dug his nails into.

"Claws." said Matt softly. "Why?"

Adam ripped both hands out of the drawer to the left of the middle. He whirled around to face Matt, a mask of anger…no, rage, imprinted on his pale face. Mean ran over to the one still accessible door, but neither Matt nor Adam paid any attention.

Matt suddenly felt very vulnerable in his blue and black striped boxers. Goosebumps quickly pricked up on his skin as he tensed, waiting for the next move. Part of him then gave up hope. Suicide flashed through his mind, but the still hopeful part remembered Mean.

Adam took a step forward, causing Matt to flinch visibly. Matt was sure that the thing had smiled once more, but didn't concentrate on that thought. Adam bolted, again with the abnormal speed, towards the desk. With one hand, he picked it up and flung it at Matt. He dived to the side, and the desk hit the wall with a massive sound. Exhaling quickly, Matt looked behind him.

The desk had hit the wall, causing it to buckle. Cracks ran out from around the point of impact, and pieces of drywall fell off. Seconds later, the bulk of the wall fell backwards into another room.

Coughing, Matt stumbled up. Mean had seemed to have given up on the door and grabbed his elbow. Adam started towards them as Matt and Mean stumbled through the hole in the wall. They dived through the hole together, Adam doing another Superman jump behind them.

Matt landed on his stomach, causing all air to escape his lungs. Not faltering, he grabbed Mean's shoulder and pulled her up as they ran towards another door in the new room. Matt noticed that is was another hallway just as Adam landed heavily a foot behind them. Broken pieces of drywall were crushed under him, and Matt and Mean both choked on the rising dust. They reached the door nearest to the hole as Adam rose. Surprisingly, it opened easily. They ran through and slammed the door shut, finding themselves in an office. A window sat on the far wall. Matt ran up and smashed it, motioning for Mean to go through. Clumsily, she went through one leg at a time. She hopped outside just as the door broke its hinges and flew towards the far wall with a single blow from Adam. Mean screamed from outside, but Adam ignored her, turning to Matt instead. This time, he really did grin.

Impossibly fast, Adam flung a fist in Matt's direction. Matt flung himself to the floor, feeling the blow rush over his head. Mean screamed again as the wall in front of her broke with the punch. Pieces of broken brick from the outer wall flew in her face, and she started coughing frantically.

Matt rolled towards Adam, grabbed a pale leg, and used it to slide towards the open doorway. Adam flung his leg backwards just as Matt let go, causing him to fly up and hit the wall next to the hole. Hitting the ground once more, Matt crawled towards the end of the hall, despite a sharp pain in his spine. On his feet now, he opened another door, finding himself in an identical office. He heard a deep roar of fury as he smashed the window and crawled out as Mean had.

Mean ran towards him, tears running down her face, causing her black eyeliner to drip down her cheeks. An eerie glow was cast by a lone streetlamp, not casting enough light to illuminate the area. Mean grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him up. They both ran away from the lamp and the offices, heading deeper into the darkness. There was no moon overhead anymore.

Half a minute later, they found themselves facing a brick wall. With almost no vision, Matt and Mean felt around the wall, trying to find something that would open. The unspoken fear lingered over them- where the hell had Adam gone? Matt's hands started to hurt, mostly because they were dragging harshly along the rough bricks. Window, door. Mousehole on the floor, Matt thought obscurely.

"Here." Mean said quickly. Abandoning his own search, Matt moved to where Mean's voice had come from, just to his left. Feeling around near her, his fingers touched cold glass. "Break?" he asked quietly. Mean said nothing. If she nodded, Matt couldn't see. Pulling his left fist back, he punched the window.

It took him a second, but Matt realized that nothing had broken. Then, all at once, fire shot through his knuckle. He yelled in pain. Mean grabbed his shoulder, trying to find out what was wrong. "The glass…" Matt started. "It…it's not…"

Mean raised her hand in the darkness and touched the window. "It's warm," she said softly. "Do you have the gun?"

Breathing heavily, Matt muttered, "No. Busy trying to evade tall, dark, and handsome." Shelving the pain with the rest of tonight's fun, Matt raised his right hand and felt around the frame. He felt cold metal, oddly contrasting with the still warm glass.

They stood in silence for a moment. "Where do we go from here?" Mean asked.

Matt didn't answer right away. Thoughts lazily drifted through his head, and for the first time he noticed he was freezing his ass off. Snapping into the moment, he said, "Well, we can give up on purposely finding the research place or whatever. Right now, we're going to get inside, grab a weapon, and think. All before my balls turn to ice."

Mean snorted. "Well, I assume that we're not getting through this puppy." she said.

"No. And ow." Matt responded. He paused. "Well, we can't risk going back, thanks to the undead bodybuilder back there. I guess…well, let's find another window somewhere."

A cold wind rose up, causing every hair on Matt's body to stick straight up. Think of fire, he thought, as he groped along the rough wall in the darkness, looking for anything useful.

"If my balls don't shrivel up and die due to extreme cold, I'll-"

"Window." Mean interrupted. Shelving the numbing cold, Matt forced his knees to bend, one leg forward, now the other. Rinse, lather, repeat. Only if you're in the shower, though. No rubber duck in the Adam. Too tall. Too cold- will you freeze? No rubber duck he-

A loud noise jarred him back to the moment. Squinting into the darkness in front of him, he vaguely saw Mean climbing through a broken window. Mentally pushing himself along, Matt struggled through the window. Clumsily, he fell headfirst onto the cold tile floor inside, causing his boxers to ride up. Angrily pushing them down again, he thought, Did I just go insane for a minute there? He laughed bitterly, making blood rise up in the back of his mouth. Or was it vomit? Who cared at this point?

Mean put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and step back towards the window. "Matt?" she asked tentatively. "Are you…alright?"

Yes, Matt thought. Just say yes, dammit, be a man…

"Fine." He blurted out. "I'm…fine, yeah. Fruity."

Mean gave him an odd look before turning around and trying to see what else was in the room. Matt leaned against the wall, forcing the rapidly rising bile down back inside of him. "You've seen corpses. Zombies. Walking albino lumps of scar tissue. Now you climb through a window, and lose it?" Matt muttered.

Fluorescent light flickered on overhead, the dulled light causing Matt and Mean to wince and shield their eyes. "Alright, we'll make a pact," Matt said dully. "We tell each other if we're gonna turn on the lights."

Mean shook her head sharply. "Not me," she muttered hoarsely.

It took a minute, but Matt finally registered what she just said. Mind turning to defense and self-preservation, he scanned the room for anything that could be used for a weapon. The walls of the room were lined with cheap bookshelves. Two old chairs sat at a round wooden table in the middle of the small room. Mean stepped forward and snapped the chair leg. She tossed the short wooden shaft to Matt, then broke off another for herself.

They stood listening for a moment. The only sound was the faint humming of the lights above. As one, they moved towards the door across from the window. A complicated design was engraved in the dark wood, not matching the style of the rest of the room.

"Fire." Mean said suddenly.

Matt whirled around, and blurted out, "Where?"

"No, no, the motif on the door. It's the symbol for fire."

Panic still jittering his body, Matt stepped up to the door and placed a hand on the golden knob, eyes never leaving the engraving. He quickly twisted it and swung the door open, chair leg firmly in hand. They walked out into an unlit hallway. Bare boards were protected by a soft carpet runner spread across the middle of the floor. Matt could see the vague shape of portraits lining the walls, but not the pictures. Listening intently now, he shuffled away from the bookshelf room, noting a sudden change in air temperature. The hallway was shockingly warm compared to the last room. Matt heard no noise indicating a nearby heater, nor did he feel a vent.

"Where are we?" he asked, almost afraid to break the silence.

Mean sighed, and took a step to the left. "Go together or split up?" she asked quietly.

Matt laughed sharply. "Yes, let's split up, weaponless. Let's go into the darkness alone and unprotected. Let's fight big, freaking hulking creatures by ourselves. Great idea there." he snapped.

Mean sucked in air. "Together, then." she said, and walked towards the shadows. Smiling, Matt followed her. The light faded as they rounded a corner, causing them to slow down.

Lights that neither of them could see flickered on, causing both of them to whirl around mindlessly, readying the chair legs. "What. The. Fuck.", stammered Matt.

"Someone's watching us.", said Mean calmly. A little pissed at her coolness, Matt shot her a look, but kept quiet. What help would a spat be now?

Sighing, Mean said, "Well, we better keep moving. If someone's watching us this closely, then they must be in a safe place…right?"

Why didn't you calm down and think like that? Matt asked himself. "Yeah.", he muttered. "Let's go."

They walked slowly down the hallway, looking at the now-illuminated pictures on the wall. Most were violent shots of executions, but there were a few paintings of various animals. A particularly creepy one depicting a hedgehog made Matt shiver. Is someone watching us through the paintings?,he thought. No, wait. You've seen too many old movies. That happens in Roger Rabbit, not real life. And Roger Rabbit? What makes you think of THAT movie?

Matt walked straight into a stationary Mean. She stumbled forward a step, then backed up behind Matt. Slowly, he looked up, and fought an insane urge to put the chair leg in his eye.

Another creature stood before them. Pasty skin was wrapped over oddly shaped bones. Sharp spikes stuck out of its chest, back, and hands. It had no visible lip, just dried gums leading to blackened shark-like teeth. Skin grew straight over where the eyes should have been, as if whoever played God and made this creature was too disgusted with the result to grant this thing vision.

It growled.

Matt fell to his knees and spat up blood.

It growled again, raised two hands of filthy claws, and jumped.