Titanwolf: Glad you enjoyed it. And don't worry, I get obsessive about things too.
Kraven the Hunter: Mr. Lancer, at least to me, seems to be someone who gets few joys in life; playing RPGs and punishing students seem to be the only ones he gets. As for Danny's weapon, that's because I have no idea how RPGs are played and what to use for them. As for Jazz, well, she's a sweetheart. Maybe they will learn, but they're goofy like that, and that's why we love 'em. ;-P
Riverfox237: Yes, poor things. I suppose Lancer is guilty of that, but he's a very stressed man and needs his jollies. As for Jazz, well, she's a pretty brainy kid, so are you really surprised that she'd figure it out? Well, not so brainy on the terrorism thing.
Venusgal100: Well, I wasn't quite going for a pairing with them, but they do make a good team in bailing them out.
Nickel-Lover2005: Here it is.
CherrySparklez: 'Kay.
This episode, the return of Menagerie and the popular Jazz/Tucker team up... Also, a quick note regarding this chapter: "The Ultimate Enemy" does not apply here as this is an alternate universe, but I will be doing an LTF version of sorts in the near future.
"Danny, you're gonna love this place... best salads in town."
"Compared to the Nasty Burger, just about anything would be the best salad in town, Sam."
"Good point," the Goth answered as she gave Danny's hand a small squeeze.
"Well, sometimes, I do have these great moments of brilliance," Danny replied, blowing on his free knuckles.
"Does your report card say that, Mr. Straight-Cs?" Sam teased.
"I'll have you know it's now Straight B+s, thank you very much... literally.""Study groups are fun," Sam commented.
"Yeah, when we actually study," Danny replied, stopping. Sam slowed to a stop, looking at him in confusion.
"Something wrong, Danny?"
"Maybe," he singsonged. He let Sam's hand go and pulled the small teenager close with a tight hug as he pecked her cheek. Sam returned the favor, and they separated holding the others' hands and blushing bright red.
"You know, you humans have the oddest mating rituals," a voice snarked as cold mist escaped Danny and Sam's mouths. Whirling, they found the familiar silhouette of Menagerie blocking their path.
"What do you want," Sam groaned, rolling her eyes.
"Revenge, of course," Menagerie replied with a casual shrug. "Now, if you'd just hold still for a moment..." he continued as he loaded a blow dart gun.
"Yeah, I don't think so bub," Danny shot back as the halfas transformed. The two flew in for a direct assault, but Menagerie was quicker. With two quick bursts of breath, he had discharged one dart into Sam's thigh and the other into Danny's arm.
"Ooh... in retrospect, Danny, this was a stupid idea," Sam hissed as she plucked the ghostly dart free and rubbed at the wound. She looked back up at the now grinning ghost. "Um, am I supposed to be feeling something?"
"Yeah, what gives?" Danny muttered, rubbing his arm.
"Oh, you'll see ghost children... you'll see." With that, Menagerie vanished.
"Well, that was exciting," Sam snarked as she turned back into a human. "Moron pricks our skin and that's it."
"I'm not complaining," Danny replied as his rings faded out. "However, I will be complaining about hunger if we don't get to the restaurant soon." Sam nodded, and the two resumed their walk.
"Ah, good day Miss Manson! I trust you're well today?"
"Hey Larry... table for me and my special guy?"
"Of course, right this way..." the waiter nodded as he led them through the dining room to a small, private table.
"My parents have a lot of stock in the restaurant, especially from the toothpick stuff... they let me chow down for free," Sam whispered to Danny.
"Swank," the boy replied as they sat down.
"Now, I'm sure you'll be wanting the usual Miss Manson, but as a formality," Larry continued as he gave the two menus, "here you are. I assume that Master Fenton would like a moment regardless..."
"'Master Fenton?' Yeesh. Just call me 'Danny,'" the boy said with a scoff.
"Very well, Danny, I'll be right back," Larry smiled before leaving.
"'Master Fenton?'" Danny thought as he looked through the menu.
"Mom and Dad brought you up," Sam replied as she paged through hers. "Whether it was in a "he's a sweetheart" way or "he's pure evil" way, I'm not sure."
"I get the sense your family doesn't like me..." Danny answered as he ran his finger down a column of options.
"My grandma wants to meet you... She thinks you rock," Sam grinned.
"Well, good, I'm two for two with the Mansons," Danny replied with a smile peeking over the menu. "Well, I know what I want tonight," he added aloud as he closed the menu.
"Me too," Sam nodded as Larry returned.
"And what will my young friends be having tonight?"
"I'll take the seafood special and a big glass of milk," Sam said as she handed the waiter her menu. Danny nodded in agreement. Larry boggled.
"I'm sorry, Miss Manson... did you say you wanted the seafood special?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Very well, two seafood specials," the stunned waiter replied walking off.
"What's his problem?" Danny asked in confusion as he idly raked his fingers over the table. "He acted like he'd seen... uh... us in action."
"He's like that sometimes," Sam replied as she lapped the back of her hand gingerly. "It's why we like him."
"Well, good to know he has a purpose," Danny smiled slyly. The two spent the next half hour in idle chatter before Larry finally returned with the dishes.
"Here we are... two, uh, seafood specials. I hope everything will be to your satisfaction to..." He trailed off as the teenagers started gnawing at the lumps of fish wit their bare hands. "I beg your pardon, Miss Manson, but I'd like you to remember you and your boyfriend are still subject to basic table manners!"
"Table manners?" Sam asked with a mouth full of haddock. "What the heck do you mean by..." Sam frowned as she let the food sit on her taste buds for a moment before spitting out the wad in disgust and dropping the fish on the plate. "What am I doing!" she squeaked as she frantically wiped her tongue with a napkin. The confused Danny also snapped out of his daze and did the same thing.
"If you didn't like how we cooked your fish, kids, you could have told me instead of spitting it all over the place..." Larry sighed in cynical annoyance.
"Look, Larry, uh, something's come up... we gotta go," Sam gulped as she grabbed Danny's hand. The two confused kids quickly left the premises, leaving a confused waiter to pick up the mess and wonder what the devil had gotten into his prize customer today.
"Okay, Danny," Sam sputtered as she gargled for the eight time at a public fountain, "why was I eating MEAT with my bare hands... is this some kinda halfa phase or something?"
"Not that I know of..." Danny shrugged.
"Well, something made me eat it!" she snapped. "And I wanna know what!"
"I'd like to know myself, Sam, but I don't..." Danny shrugged.
"Great. Just great," Sam snarled, scuffing a boot. "This is terrible."
"Look, just calm down, and... hey, look, a ball!" Danny cried, diving at it. He laid on his stomach and began to bat it back and forth between his hands.
"Hey, let me have a turn!" Sam whined as she plopped down after him. At first, Danny refused to hand it over, huffing and squirming away. But the Goth was persistent, and finally snatched it away. She smiled to herself, batting the ball back and forth between her hands. Annoyed and jealous, Danny pounced, catching Sam off guard. The two rolled down a grassy hill wrestling with the other until they stopped, giggling.
"That was fun," Sam grinned between breaths.
"Yeah," Danny responded. They turned their heads to face the other, looking into the others' vibrant slit eyes. "We need to do this more often."
"We sure do," Sam nodded. She paused. "Uh, Danny?"
"Yes Sam?"
"Since when do you have whiskers?"
"Gee, I thought I was still a little young," Danny blushed.
"No... WHISKERS," Sam replied as she twanged them with a finger. "Come to think of it... when did -I- start having them!" she added, feeling her face.
"Yeah, I think we're gonna be going home now!" Danny cried, helping her up. After making sure the way was clear, they turned invisible and flew for home.
Jazz lay on the couch sipping tea, reading a psychology magazine on a blessedly lazy day. If she wasn't being possessed by pirates, rockers, or turned into a cloud of ectoplasmic vapor, she was being netted and shot by trigger happy parents. Fortunately, neither had happened today. She was bringing the mug up to her lips when the door opened. She smiled and sat up.
"Hey, guys! How was lu-lu-lu-lu-l..." The stunned redhead stared at what came through the door. It was her little brother and his girlfriend, that was for sure. But, they usually didn't have shiny coats of black fur, whiskers, slit eyes, and small pink noses. They bit their lips.
"Oh, hi, Jazz... we were just, uh..." Sam cut herself off as her hands jumped to cover her tapering ears.
"Costume party," Danny assured.
"Lu-lu-lu-lu," Jazz sputtered, eyes glazed over.
"Yeah, uh, love you too, bye now!" the boy added before they ran upstairs. A muffled slam after a moment suggested they had walled themselves up in Danny's room. After repeating the syllable thirty more times and having followed them with a finger as she did so, Jazz shook herself free of her daze and grabbed the phone, hitting a specific speed dial button.
"Foley residence," a voice replied after a few rings.
"Yeah, uh, Tuck? This is Jazz. Could you come over here, like, now?"
"What's wrong? Did your parents put Danny and Sam in a coma?"
"Um," Jazz said as she squeezed the phone cord and bit her lip, "no..."
"Then what's wrong?"
"Just come over."
"Why can't you just tell me?" Tucker begged.
"Just trust me, Tuck... just... trust me," Jazz said before she hung up.
"...so let me get this straight. You're saying your brother and his girlfriend both have fur coats? You know how they feel about that jazz, Jazz."
"I mean they have it as I have red hair," Jazz snapped as she yanked at her long tresses. "It's a part of them, Tuck!"
"Well, that's not good..." Tucker sighed.
"Of course it's not!"
"Look, let's calm down, and just go see them, okay?" Tucker groaned as he walked upstairs. "Any problems with that?"
"We shouldn't just barge in..."
"Jazz, I really don't think you can do much to hide from kids who can virtually smell ghosts. Your parents' stuff won't work."
"All right," the teen sighed in defeat. The two trotted upstairs and knocked gingerly on Danny's door.
"What!" a shocked male voice trilled.
"Uh, Danny, it's Tucker... can I come in?"
"No! We're, uh, not decent!" a female cried.
"...really..."
"Not like that, you sicko!" the girl added angrily.
"This is getting us nowhere," Jazz groaned as she marched up to the door. "Daniel Fenton," Jazz snapped as she grabbed the door knob and turned it, "I am coming in there right now, mister! Now, what's going... oh boy."
Danny hid his newly sprouted tail and tried to hide his altered feet as Sam threw a sheet over her body. Realizing of the futility of it, they blushed and stopped.
"We might as well come downstairs now," the boy sighed, looking down his small damp nose.
"And you have NO idea how this happened."
"Nope."
"No."
Jazz shook her head and paced the room in thought. "Look you two, people do not just suddenly turn into animals! In fact... they just can't, period!"
"Yeah, we're really proving that, aren't we," Danny growled.
"Look, we don't need the lip right now," Tucker scolded. "Unless you two want to start wearing collars, we need to stop this."
"My parents already have me on a leash as it is," Sam muttered.
"All right you two," Jazz sighed as she took command once again. "I'm gonna run some stuff through Mom and Dad's equipment... I'm gonna need some samples, okay?"
"Um... do you really need to?" Danny gulped.
"Uh, yeah," the eldest Fenton sighed.
"Er, I dunno Jazz..." Sam hemmed as she squirmed at the thought.
"I just need some of your fur, not your left kidneys," Jazz groaned, rolling her eyes. "You know what, fine, you're shedding all over, I'll just take this," she added, scooping up a wad of fur before storming off downstairs.
"Are you two okay?" Tucker asked after a beat.
"Do we look okay?" Sam snapped, hands on her hips.
"Chill, guys, I'm sure Jazz has got this under control..."
"Yeah, well, what are we supposed to do until then?" Danny growled in exasperation. "I mean, we can't do anything human or ghost re- Ooh, is that yarn?" he paused, picking up the ball from a sewing kit.
"Don't bogart!" Sam hissed, grasping for it.
"Get your own!" Danny cried, hugging it close to his furry chest.
"Sam, just take that one," Tucker sighed, pointing to another ball in the kit. Sam shrieked with glee and began to play with it. "And, since you're busy having fun, I'm going to go see what Jazz is up to. Meow if you need anything."
"Shut up," Sam growled as she lay on her back batting the yarn between her paws. "You're not funny."
"I like to think so..." Tucker called as he walked downstairs to the lab. "How's it coming, Jazz?"
"Not good. They've got some kinda... I dunno what," the redhead sighed, scratching her head. "It seems like a ghost mutagen of some kind."
"Danny and Sam get sprayed with that stuff all the time, I don't see why it's doing this to them..." Tucker answered, rubbing his chin in thought.
"Yeah, well this is altering their DNA at some subatomic level." A crash came from upstairs. "What was that?" Jazz asked, jerking her head up.
"They're discovering the wonder that is yarn," Tucker smirked.
"...okay," Jazz replied before shaking herself out of her daze. "Anyway, Tuck, I don't know how to stop their transformation without knowing what caused it." Jazz cringed at another bang. "Do you know who could have caused this? Are there any ghost animals they've tangled with lately?"
"Well, there's been a few, but they were before the ghost bug thing... and Sam has bad memories about dragons."
"Well, that would explain why she went into a hysterical rage and destroyed that Puff figurine I got a few years ago last month," Jazz nodded. "If they ever tell me about their little 'job,' I'm sure it'll be a great case study for my f--" She winced at another thud from upstairs. "Look, is there anyone else?"
"No, I don't... Menagerie!" Tucker gasped, hitting a palm with his fist.
"Who?"
"He was some guy who controlled ghost animals... one of his pets nearly ate Danny and Sam."
"...lovely." Jazz's eye twitched as another noise filtered downstairs. "Tucker, please go see what they're doing before I strangle them," she said in an eerie calm. The boy gulped and ran upstairs. He was confused at the odd grunting coming from the living room. When he entered the living room, Tucker boggled at the site of Danny and Sam on their backs and hopelessly tangled in the yarn.
"Uh... could you kinda help?" Sam asked. Danny, a thread of material over his mouth, nodded in agreement.
"Can't you just phase out?"
"J-A-Z-Z," Danny mumbled through his gag.
"Oh, right... I'll get the scissors," he said with a nod. He paused, then snapped a quick picture with his PDA.
"Tucker, did you just take a picture of us?" Sam asked with an angry hiss.
"Of course not!" he called with a smile as he grabbed a pair of scissors. He ran back and dutifully snipped at key strings, and the yarn fell away.
"That was fun," Danny groused as he shook at the yarn stuck to his claws.
"I bet. Now c'mon, I bet Jazz has a way to undo this."
"I can't find a way to undo this."
"Perfect," the transforming teens groaned, slumping in clothes becoming far too loose for them.
"I'm sorry guys, but the only way to fix this would be from the ghost that did this to you in the first place."
"Who said it was a ghost?" Danny snapped defensively.
"Um, wild guess?" Jazz blushed.
"Well, you guessed wrong. And Sam and I wouldn't know anything about ghosts anyway!"
"Smooth," Sam glowered mentally. She suddenly winced. "Ow, my back hurts..." she groaned. Danny was just about to say the same thing when the two stiffened, then dwindled down into their clothing, which lay in a rumpled pile on the ground. After a moment, two small black house cats, one with a small topknot and the other with unruly fur, stumbled out. They looked at the other and meowed pathetically.
"Oh, great, now we can't talk..." Sam huffed.
"I know that look in Jazz's eyes... if she coos about how cute we are, I'm going to gnaw her ankles off."
"Sure, Danny... care more about the fact we're not human anymore."
"I know she'll do it! She always does! She's gonna go 'Aw...'"
"...you're so cute!" Jazz cooed, clutching her hands together.
"Okay, that is it," the boy growled, unsheathing his tiny claws. He was just about to pounce at his sister's leg when a green flash filled the room. When the four's eyes readjusted, a muscular man stood before them, grinning triumphantly."
"Menagerie," the two halfa cats groaned.
"What do you want..." Sam meowed.
"Oh, I'm just here to gloat at the downfall of my two archenemies," the ghost smirked, admiring his handiwork.
"Shut up!" Danny hissed, pawing angrily at him.
"Yes, a great downfall indeed, that the arrogant ghost children Danny Phantom and Sammy Spectre have been reduced to mere pets."
"Oh, great," Sam groaned, noting Jazz's presence.
"Oh, I wouldn't waste my time being angry... in about ten minutes, you'll have the intellect quota of a cat. Spend it doing something productive."
"Productive?" the two replied as they gave each other a glance.
"You heard me... Do the wittle kitties want some milk?" Menagerie taunted.
"If you insist..." Sam replied. The cats peeled off and hid behind a computer terminal. There came an angry screech and flashes of white and purple light, and two white cats with glowing green eyes levitated above the equipment.
"What the devil...!" the ghost sputtered before they descended upon him. Menagerie screamed in shocked pain as the small animals blasted him with plasma balls from their paws and bit into his pale green ectoplasmic flesh.
"Change us back, you freak!" Sam demanded through the bite.
"Never!" Menagerie cried.
"Do it right now!" Danny added, blasting him in the face with a barrage.
"No!"
"Either you do it... or we start using these," Sam hissed as she popped out her small claws.
"I'm the lord sovereign of ghost animals. I've had much worst before. There's nothing you could do that... would..." He trailed off as he noticed where they were aiming. "You wouldn't dare."
"Oh, we would. We would," Danny nodded.
"You're bluffing," Menagerie huffed.
"Wanna see? Usually it's the other way around, but we can make an exception here..." Sam replied as she drifted down.
"No! All right, all right!" Menagerie wailed, crossing his legs. "I'll do it!" The ghost quickly rummaged through his pocket and threw dust at his attackers. They shuddered with a cough, then suddenly stiffened. Their fur vanished under jumpsuits, their tails melted away, and with a flash they grew back into human. They looked down at their hands and flexed them with a thankful smile.
"There, I did it. Now, you said you were going to leave me a-- why are you smiling like th-- NO, NOT THE FACE!" he squealed before Danny and Sam delivered a double whammy punch to the head. The stunned ghost was blown backwards and through the Ghost Portal. Tucker jumped and clamped it shut. The halfas grinned in triumph before looking sheepishly at Jazz.
"Well, I guess you know now..." Danny said with a sigh as they landed.
"Eh, I've known for a while," Jazz replied with a smile.
"Um, how long?" Sam asked.
"Since Spirit Week. And since you suddenly got a partner," the redhead smirked as she looked at the appropriate halfa in turn. "I can't believe how stupid this city is, honestly..."
"I guess it helps..." Danny shrugged. "Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"
"Are you crazy!" Jazz cried, jerking her head back. "I'm not letting them get one gloved finger on you, especially Dad." She walked up to them with a grin and gently put a hand on their shoulders. "I'm very proud of you two. Especially you, Danny." With that, Jazz scooped the small teenagers up into a tight hug.
"Okay, enough with the loving," Danny groused.
"Oh, let your sister be proud!" Jazz huffed, kissing him.
"AGH!" the boy shrieked, kicking his legs.
"He do this a lot?" Jazz said wryly to Sam.
"Not when I do it, anyway," the Goth replied with a knowing smirk. "Seriously, you should let us go before Danny has an ulcer."
"Okay, okay," the redhead sighed as she opened up. Danny soared across the room in a fit of annoyance.
"Don't you ever do that again!" he snapped with an accusing finger.
"I'll think about it." Jazz paused. "Is it weird when you two don't have legs?"
"To put it very mildly," Sam replied, looking at her ghostly tail. "Now, I'd really like to be human again, so..."
"Well, what's holding you back?" Jazz shrugged. Danny and Sam stared at her blankly for a moment before throwing a glance at their clothes. "Oh, you're... right, right," she blushed as she turned away. She waited after the flashes and rustles of fabric ended before turning back, seeing the two come from hiding places on opposite sides of the room.
"You promise not to tell?" Danny urged, tugging his shirt down.
"Yes, yes! Do you need it writing!" Jazz cried, exasperated.
"It'd be a nice idea..." the boy replied.
"Uh, you know what, Danny? Why don't I take you two out to Nasty Burger or something?" Tucker shrugged.
"Sounds great. C'mon, Danny," Sam nodded, tugging the boy Fenton after her. Danny sputtered for a moment, then sighed and ran upstairs. Jazz followed them up and called a goodbye before looking at the horrendous mess in the living room. The redhead clenched her hands into fists and shook them, emitting an irritated growl.
"At least it wasn't a dragon..." Sam sighed thankfully.
"I thought you were over that..." Danny replied with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm a recovering Aragon-aholic," the girl sniffed defensively.
"You two just need to chill. I think today was a pretty good day, with laughs for everyone," Tucker grinned as he looked at the picture of his anthromorphic friends. His smile was cut off by Sam's hand snatching the PDA away. The two looked down at the screen, then back at up their friend.
"...Tucker..." Danny and Sam hissed through their teeth angrily with glowing green eyes.
"Aw, c'mon, lighten up!" Tucker urged. "It was just a little j-- Uh, why are you two looking at me like that? And going ghost? And... oh boy." With that, he ran for his life as his friends screeched after him.
"Get back here!" they screamed.
"Why should I?" Tucker shot back as he suddenly dove into an alley a block ahead of them.
"Because," Sam answered, "we're the ones with the ability to fly and-- oh crud," she stopped as she backpedaled away in vain before she and Danny were sucked away in a blue flash.
"And I'm one with the ghost trapper," Tucker smirked as he capped the Fenton thermos.
"You are so dead when we get out of here..." Danny growled.
"That doesn't exactly inspire me to let you out, guys," Tucker chided as he tossed the thermos into his book bag.
"Danny was just ticked off, Tuck," Sam assured him. "Now c'mon, let us out. Tucker? Tucker!"
"TUCKER!"