Chapter Twelve
Chaos continued to revel in Spencer's death long after Vincent left the infirmary and Quigley's company. It got to the point of becoming more than a little annoying, and Vincent found himself needing to silence the demon. He walked out of the base and into town, going to the first bar that he came across.
Not wishing to be quieted, Chaos protested. You're going to drink? Come on, Vincent. Don't do this.
I asked you to shut up, and you refused. I need to sleep tonight, and that isn't going to happen as long as you're carrying on. Vincent reached out and opened the door to the bar, going inside.
The demon was well aware that Vincent's alcoholism was nothing more than his attempt to cover his inner dialogue. But Vincent, you promised Tifa that you wouldn't drink.
Yeah, and she promised me that she wouldn't sleep with Cid. Vincent landed at a dark table in the corner. I'd say all bets are off.
Touché. Chaos knew that he wasn't going to dissuade his master from seeking the comfort of drunkenness. But they did very little sleeping, from what we saw.
Shut up. Vincent scanned the scene as he waited for someone to come and take his order. Being this late, the only people that were in the bar were those embroiled in serious drinking or in search of something. He noticed a woman sitting at the bar staring at him, smiling. She was attractive, and he met her gaze for several moments before looking at the table before him.
Chaos noticed, too. You know, if Tifa's screwing that pilot, I'd say that gives you free license to do as you so wish, too.
Vincent had never picked up anyone for a one-night stand. No.
Emotionless from the ferium or not, you're still a man, Vincent. You could use a good fuck. It would take your mind off of things for a little while, in any event. Chaos almost seemed to be begging. When Vincent did things, the demon felt them, and if there was anything that Chaos liked aside from killing, it was sex.
Spare me, Chaos.
Chaos laughed. Too late, look up.
Vincent did as told and saw that the woman had come over to his side. He knit his brow as he examined her. She was just as attractive up close as she had been from afar. "Can I help you?"
She laughed and touched his shoulder. "I saw you looking at me a minute ago. I thought I'd come over here and see if you wanted a date."
Vincent closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. Great, a God damned prostitute…
Come on, Vincent! Chaos pled.
He considered the situation for a moment. Tifa was with Cid, so why not go for it? Vincent had nothing to lose. At least a whore like this would just be a momentary thing, and he wouldn't have to worry about any relationship type crap coming from this. All right, Chaos. If I do this, you have to promise me that you'll keep quiet from now until tomorrow morning, understand?
If you do this, I'll be in shock. Deal.
Vincent sighed, "Sure."
Instantly, she seemed pleased and she pulled a chair close to his, then sitting at his side. "Great. It's been a slow night."
Never having done anything even remotely like this before, Vincent wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do. The only dealings he'd ever had with a working girl had been when he was fifteen years old, and his wretched uncle had brought a hooker home for him to 'make him a man'.
"You're shy, that's cute." She took up one of his hands in hers. "I usually don't get guys as good looking as you in this line of business. You're hot."
He wasn't about to put too much value into the flattery of a prostitute. "Thanks."
She decided to get down to business. "So, what do you want?"
Vincent met her gaze and cocked an eyebrow. This seemed like a stupid question.
"Okay, here's how it is." She smiled again, finding his reluctance to talk amusing. "Twenty for oral, forty for straight sex. I can do anything else you want, too, but we'll have to discuss the price."
Even with the ferium in his blood, Vincent flushed in embarrassment. He almost choked on his reply. "Okay, forty."
"There, was that so bad?" The woman got up from her seat, keeping a hold of his hand.
Vincent followed as she pulled him out of the bar. Once out on the street, he walked along at her side, in disbelief about what he was intending to do.
The woman did her best to fill the silence between them. "So, I've never seen you around here before. New to town?"
"Yeah."
She was quickly realizing that he wasn't one for conversation. "Don't worry, my room is in that motel across the street. I won't force you to tell me your life's story."
Vincent just kept his gaze upon the sidewalk as they went. Within a minute, they were standing in front of her room door. She unlocked it and they went in.
Vincent stood near the door as she went over and climbed onto the bed. She leaned back against the headboard and drew her knees up. Getting a clear shot up her mini skirt, he could instantly see that she wasn't wearing anything beneath it.
She held a hand out to him, and curled her index finger. "Come on, get over here."
She's waiting, Vincent! Let's go!
I told you to be quiet. Vincent forced himself to go to her. He climbed onto the bed, and hovered over her on all fours. Strangely enough, he hadn't felt even the slightest hint of arousal yet.
Pleased that he was close, she reached out and undid the waist to his pants, slipping her hand inside. She donned a pout. "Nothing yet? Don't you think I'm worth it?"
Vincent closed his eyes, waiting for his body to react to her touch in any way at all, but nothing seemed to be happening.
After toying with him for a full five minutes, she pulled her hand back. "What's wrong with you?"
Embarrassed beyond belief, Vincent quickly got off of the bed, standing beside it. Why he couldn't manage to get aroused in the least was beyond him. Impotence had never been an issue for him. Little did he know that this complete inability to function sexually was a side effect of ferium. Wanting no more than to get out of the room and back to the base, Vincent pulled out his wallet. Inside, he had a fifty, which he placed on the nightstand. "I'm sorry, I'm going to go."
She picked up the bill. "Well hell, if I could score fifty gil for that, I wonder what I could've gotten if--"
He didn't hear the end of her statement as he walked out and slammed the door. Vincent made his way hastily back to the base.
You didn't do it, so I don't have to be quiet.
Vincent clenched his fists as he strode down the street. If you don't want me to go back and O.D. or put a bullet in my brain, you'll shut the fuck up right now.
You're not that fun to live with, you know. Chaos rolled over and went dormant.
-----------------------
Quigley had remained in the infirmary for hours, sitting next to his brother's body. Tears marked his face. Having now mourned his brother's death twice, the researcher was completely inconsolable.
Janice had been sitting in her office working on various things, just waiting for Quigley to leave so that she could get Spencer's body bagged and then readied for cremation. Deciding that he wasn't going to ever pull himself away on his own, Janice got up from her desk and walked over to his side. "Quigley?"
He glanced at her momentarily, before training his eyes back onto Spencer. "Yeah?"
"Do you want me to call someone to be with you?" Janice placed her hand upon his shoulder.
He nodded shallowly. "Yeah."
Janice knew that Quigley only had one real friend. "Porter?"
Again, he just nodded.
Janice went over and hit the intercom button. "Joseph Porter, please come to the infirmary."
Quigley turned away from his brother and toward Janice. "So what happened? Why did he die? I thought he was starting to do better since he wasn't screaming or convulsing anymore."
Janice took a deep breath and came back over toward him. "I guess the withdrawal was just more than his body could handle, Quigley. He might have gotten quiet simply because his body was shutting down. Ferium is a terrible drug, I don't need to tell you that."
He shook his head and motioned at his brother. "I just left for a moment…"
She didn't know what to say. There was no doubt in her mind that it had been simply the inevitable conclusion of Spencer's abuse of ferium. "At least Vincent was here so he wasn't alone."
Quigley met her gaze. "You don't think that Vincent did something, do you?"
"Quigley, you know good and well that Vincent would never do anything like that!" Janice crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, you're upset that he's dead and your doing the normal thing of looking for some reason for his death. Being angry and trying to assign blame are normal parts of mourning, you know that."
Shamefully, he hung his head. The fact that he had dared to accuse Vincent of possibly having had a hand in his brother's death was something he immediately regretted. "I know. Vincent's a good guy."
Porter finally made it to the infirmary and came over to Quigley and Janice. He saw Spencer lying there dead, and turned to his friend for answers. "Quig? What happened?"
He sighed. "I caught him shooting up with ferium earlier today. He went into withdrawal and…"
Porter turned his gaze to Dr. Arlin. "He died from withdrawal?"
She nodded. "It's common with this drug."
He raised his eyebrows. Porter never would have pegged Spencer for a drug addict. He placed his arm around Quigley's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Quig."
Being as tired and upset as he was, Quigley just fell into Porter's arms and cried.
Janice locked into Porter's green eyes. "I was hoping that you could just stay with him tonight and see him through this."
He nodded. "No problem. Come on, Quig. You can stay with Rayna and I tonight."
Quigley backed up from him for a moment. "Are you sure? I don't want to be a nuisance."
Porter was struck by how little Quigley tended to think of himself. "Like I said the other day, Rayna and I love you, Quig. We'd do anything for you. Let's go."
Quigley let himself be led from the room. He was grateful to have a friend like Porter.
-----------------------
Sephiroth lay in bed, Jeanine asleep in his arms. There was a feeling in his heart that he had never once felt as Sephiroth before. It had been growing ever since Jeanine had come home from her lunch with the doctor.
She had returned to their room, and landed in his lap as he sat on the couch. Jeanine had put her arms around his neck and kissed him before sitting back and looking into his eyes. "Jaras?"
He didn't flinch in the least at being called this by her, even though he hated to hear it from the others in the base. "Yes?"
His wife had been thinking about some of the things that she and Janice had discussed. "Can I ask you something?"
His cat like eyes narrowed as he wondered what was on her mind. "Yes?"
"If…if the Jenova you'd been injected with had taken, and you'd become Sephiroth again, would you have stopped loving me?" she asked, brushing an errant tendril of his silver hair over his shoulder.
Sephiroth was able to answer honestly. "Jenova or not, Sephiroth or Jaras, I could never stop loving you, Jeanine."
She was ashamed of what she was going to ask next. "And if you were different than when they kidnapped you, you would tell me, right?"
Forcing himself to smile, he replied. "I'm the same, Jeanine."
And since that moment, he had been feeling guilty for lying to her. As Sephiroth, he had told plenty of lies, willing to do so whenever it would benefit him. Lying to Jeanine, however, was different. He wanted, or rather, he had a need to tell her the truth, but he was afraid of what she would do.
Not able to bear the feeling within him anymore, he gently roused her from her sleep. "Jeanine?"
She looked at him through tired eyes. "What's up?"
"Hypothetically, say I had come back different and I told you that I was Sephiroth, what would you have done?" he asked, trying to make it sound like just a drowsy afterthought.
This was something that she had to think about for a moment. "Does Sephiroth love me in this scenario?"
"Like I said earlier, Sephiroth or Jaras, I could never stop loving you." He tightened his arms around her, fearing the answer.
"I don't know, Jaras. If you were like this, I would have to say that I might cover for you and keep going on with you. If you were full on a psychopathic killer like Sephiroth was, though, I'd probably have some issues." She smiled to herself at the thought.
"Maybe by the time he was truly a homicidal maniac, he had gone insane from Jenova poisoning. Before then, perhaps he only killed out of necessity or revenge." He stared up into the darkness, remembering what he had felt during his last years as Sephiroth. If he did get more Jenova, he would have to talk to Peirte about finding a way around the Jenova madness. "Sephiroth didn't just kill for the hell of it until after he went insane." He remembered eviscerating Hatley in the lab. That had felt good, but Sephiroth believed that he had been justified in that killing.
"So in this question, you're Sephiroth, but you're not crazy?" she clarified for herself.
"Sure."
Jeanine took a deep breath. "I love you, Jaras. As long as you weren't a threat to me or others, I guess…"
"You guess what? Would you be willing to hide the truth from everyone else? Would you be willing to stay with me even though I went by a different name?" He moved away and sat on the edge of the bed.
Jeanine also sat up, wondering why this was so important to him. "Jaras, what's really going on? You're scaring me."
He stood up and turned around, looking down upon her. His eyes shone brighter than they ever had before. If he lost her in this moment, he would go back to Peirte and let him do with him as he pleased. He would have nothing left to live for. "Jeanine…"
She got to her knees on the bed, clutching her hands to her chest. "Jaras…please just tell me what's going on!"
Sephiroth actually felt himself begin to shake. Fear, aside from that he'd had for Hojo, was alien to him in this incarnation. How he could be this attached to this woman was terrifying in and of itself. He would make this confession-- he couldn't continue to lead Jeanine to believe she was with the same person she had married. It wasn't right. He had nothing in his heart for anyone else in the world but her. Sephiroth realized that if what he told her got out, that not only would Vincent react by trying to kill him to cover himself, but that he would take out anyone else who knew the truth, meaning Jeanine. "If I tell you something, you have to swear to me that you won't say a thing to anyone."
"Jaras, you know you can trust me! We've known each other for years." She wanted to put her arms around him, but she was presently too afraid to move.
Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "Back in the lab, they injected me with Jenova as you know."
"Right." She, too, was beginning to tremble.
"It didn't die off."
Jeanine held her breath. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. "Wh…what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that the Jenova they gave me didn't die off, Jeanine. I presently don't care about anyone in the world at all, save you. I was supposed to return to the lab and get more Jenova injected into me, and I wanted that, but now that I've been here with you, I realize that all of the feelings that I had for you as Jaras are still here. I don't want to go back, Jeanine. I need you to help me stay here." Sephiroth tensed his jaw, awaiting her reaction.
Having just heard him refer to Jaras in the third person sent a chill down Jeanine's spine. Her fear went to a whole new level. "No…"
Seeing that she was afraid, he took a step back and hung his head. "I couldn't keep this act up anymore. I do love you, but not letting you know that I had been changed made me feel guilty, and that's not something I'm accustomed to."
Janice had been right. She hadn't been reading enough into things. As a trained psychologist, she should have been far more perceptive than she had been. Yet, something struck her. Changed or not, it was clear that he did still love her, and she loved him as well. This incarnation of her husband was better than not having him at all, and he was asking for her help. If she told anyone, she realized that he would be taken from her and locked up, if not just killed. Jeanine knew that she only had one option. She would accept the dauntingly impossible task of protecting Sephiroth. It all seemed horribly unbalanced. "Sephiroth…"
He kept his gaze cast to the floor. "I am."
"I can't stand to lose you again." Jeanine overcame her fear and crawled to the edge of the bed. He hadn't hurt her thus far, and the idea that he could seemed far from reasonable, even though she was well apprised of Sephiroth's past. God, I've suddenly become one of those crazy women that get the hots for serial killers in prison… This must be what going insane feels like. What the fuck am I doing? I love him…there's no way I can deny it. I still love him.
"If you want me to go, I will," he said, his voice betraying his anxiety. He didn't like feeling out of control. "If you're afraid of me, I don't want to stay and make you miserable."
"No…" She slid off of the bed and got up. "I…as long as you don't give me a reason to think that you're going to harm anyone, I'll keep your secret. No one needs to know that you have Jenova in you. If anyone here does start to suspect anything, we can just leave and hide somewhere. I won't leave you alone and you don't have to hurt anyone."
Sephiroth looked up slowly, meeting her gaze. He couldn't believe that she was going to accept him.
Jeanine went forward and placed her hands upon his chest. "Maybe you are Sephiroth to the rest of the world, but you're still Jaras to me."
"In my heart, you're the only one that I am still Jaras to." His complete lack of concern for everyone else on the planet ran through him. "You are the only one I care about anymore. You are the only one I know who has never failed me, betrayed me, fought me, or let me down. You are the only one, Jeanine…the only one who can keep me from losing my mind again. If there were a way to rid myself of the Jenova they put in me, short of diving back into the Lifestream, I would do it and become Jaras again, but only for you."
Losing the last of her trepidation, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. "If there's a way, we'll find it."
"I hope so." Sephiroth closed his eyes, enjoying the way she felt against him. After a few moments, he reached down and placed his hands on the sides of her face, then kissing her.
Jeanine willingly gave herself to him without hesitation. Jenova or not, he was still in love with her and she with him. Besides, like she had told Janice, she couldn't complain about the sex. He had never been better.
-----------------------
Tifa couldn't sleep and sat in the kitchen. Back in her bed, Cid was sleeping as she and him had ended up together again. She had left the room after lying awake for three and a half hours. Tifa had managed to do this without disturbing Cid, as she didn't want him awake. He had been coughing severely before bed, and she knew he needed to rest.
Lying before her on the table was Vincent's wedding ring. She'd brought it out here with her for some reason. Vincent had been the reason she hadn't been able to sleep, as he was haunting her every thought. Tifa may have been in love with Cid, but she still loved Vincent, too, and she and the former Turk had possessed a special bond over the years that refused to be broken. Try as she might, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something horribly wrong with her estranged husband. Tifa found herself staring over at the phone.
Somehow she knew that Vincent wasn't asleep either and she reached over and picked it up. Tifa dialed his cell number and then waited, holding her breath.
"Hello?"
Tifa found it hard to reply and remained silent.
Vincent scowled. Thanks to the caller I.D. on his phone, he knew good and well whom it was. "Either say something or hang up, Tifa. You should be in bed anyway."
"I can't sleep." Her voice was quiet. "I'm guessing you couldn't, either."
Thanks to Chaos' continued hounding and harassment starting in again a few hours after his failure with the hooker that evening, sleep was not a luxury that Vincent was going to be allowed tonight. "No, I couldn't."
Another small silence elapsed before she said something else. "Vincent?"
The ferium was at least keeping him from launching into her. He did his best to be civil, knowing that she was the only way for him to deal with his son. "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
Again, there was a brief silence. "You know the answer to that."
Tifa's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Vincent. I didn't do it to hurt you."
"No, you did it because I was dead." Vincent narrowed his eyes as he stared off into the darkness of his room. "I know what I wrote in those letters. I gave you consent. But if I ever see Cid again, you know that I'll kill him."
She could plainly tell by his tone that he was completely serious. "And what would you do to me?"
Tell her what we'd like to do to her, Vincent. Chaos just wouldn't rest.
No, I can't drive her to the point of her forbidding me to see Aaron. Vincent sighed. "I don't know. You're my son's mother."
Tifa was hurt by this answer for some reason. "Okay."
He could hear her pain in her response. "What were you hoping I would say?"
"Nothing. I don't know."
What do you want, Tifa? Vincent felt his mouth pull down in a frown. Beneath the ferium, he was realizing that he was still in love with her.
Hang up the phone right now, Vincent, Chaos growled. She's going to fuck with your mind like she always does. That's the only reason she called, you know. She wants to keep you miserable while she's off having the time of her life.
Shut up, Chaos. Vincent was thinking this particular line far too often. He should have gone and gotten drunk to silence the beast within him, but he hadn't. With what she's done and with what I've allowed myself to become, how in the hell can I think that I still love her? "Tifa?"
She reached out and slipped his abandoned wedding ring onto one of her own fingers. "Yeah?"
"Do you still love me?"
Tifa swallowed hard. She would tell him the truth. "Yes, I still love you."
"Okay."
"And you? Do you still care about me?" Tifa twisted the simple gold band around.
Don't you fucking dare, Vincent. I will make you regret it.
I've had enough of you for tonight, Chaos. What are you going to do? Give me a seizure again? Go fuck off. Vincent shifted his position on the couch. "I told you that I will never stop loving you. I may not be able to forgive you, but I will always still love you."
"Vincent, if I were to send Cid away… do you think that--" she found her words cut off.
"Don't, Tifa. We're over. You love Cid and you couldn't just drive him away like that. He's got a while to live, unless I run into him. Make the most of it." Vincent was going to admit the truth in his own way. "You wouldn't want me home anyway, Tifa. I'm far from being the same man that left that house to go with ASRIO. I've changed and I know I can never go back."
"Vincent?" Tifa let the ring fall back to the table. The tone he was using scared her. "What do you mean by that?"
"I'm not on the side of the good guys anymore, Tifa." Vincent pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up. He had nothing more to say.
She sat there still holding the phone, trying to understand what his last sentence had meant. Tifa felt tears in her eyes.
"You want him to come home, don't you?"
Startled, Tifa looked up, spotting Cid leaning against the kitchen doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were red. "Cid…how long have you been there?"
He ran a hand through his hair, straightening up and taking several steps forward. "Long enough. I knew you'd do this, Tiff."
She set the phone down onto the table and stared at him. "You knew I'd do what?"
"Not be able to let go." He landed in the chair directly across from her. "I can't do this, Tifa. If I can't have all of your heart, I don't want any of it. If every time I touch you, I have to wonder if you're thinking about him, then that's it."
"Cid, I love you!"
He frowned. "Yeah, and I just stood there and heard you tell Vincent the same thing. I knew this would fucking happen."
"Cid!" Tifa started to get up from her seat.
"Sit the hell down!" Cid got up quickly, causing his chair to fall backward. "I told you that I didn't want you to be with me if you were going to languish away for Vincent. You reassured me time and time again that you were done with him! You swore you didn't want him anymore…I finally believed you and now this…I'm so fucking tired of these God damned games…"
It had been a rare moment that Cid had ever yelled at her. He had her attention.
"Okay…" Cid scowled down at her. "I'm dyin', and I'm staying here until that happens so that my poor fucking son isn't jerked around anymore. In the meanwhile, we're done. I love you, I love being with you, but I'm not playing these God damned mind games. They will do nothing more than drive me into the ground faster. I don't need any help with that, Tifa. I really don't."
Why did I call him? Just look at what you've done to Cid! Tifa felt the heat of tears upon her cheeks and she dropped her gaze away from him. The problem was that she and Cid had crossed that line between lovers and friends, and once that's done, it's virtually impossible to go back.
Cid sighed heavily and turned around, uprighting his chair. He looked back over his shoulder at her. "I'm going back to bed. My bed. See you in the morning, Tifa."
She was speechless as he walked out, then locking himself in the guestroom. Tifa suddenly felt very alone in the world.
-----------------------
I have to ask, Vincent, why have you done this to yourself?
What? He was still awake, staring up at the ceiling of his room.
You let yourself fall in love with women that you will be hurt by. Women you can never really have. Why do you do that? Chaos asked.
Chaos, I'm not in the mood to explain myself to you. Vincent closed his eyes. All he really wanted was sleep.
The demon sighed. Lucrecia. A woman that you fell in love with despite the fact she was married to Hojo. Sure, you persuaded her to fuck you, but she inevitably returned to her husband and you got hurt. That resulted in a lot of misery for you, Vincent. But did you learn? No, of course not. You let yourself fall in love with another woman who was married to Cloud and you went after her as well. You persuade her to leave her husband for you, and she's only prevented from going back to him because he died. You know good and well that if Cloud had been alive, that she would have had second thoughts. She wasn't looking for someone to love, Vincent. Tifa was just looking for someone to keep her from being alone. She proved that the second you were dead and she hooked up with Cid. But you're alive. You know that she's now putting that fucking pilot through the same shit that Lucrecia put you through. Hell, your wife may even be carrying his baby. That would be poetic justice, huh?
Just let me sleep, Chaos. Harass me in the morning. Vincent rolled onto his side.
Not yet. You know, if Cid is taking your place in this scenario and we say that Tifa is Lucrecia, then guess who that makes you, Vincent.
Stop it.
Chaos laughed. It makes you God damned Hojo! Isn't that wonderful? Now you know what it's like from both sides, huh? Well, Hojo got his revenge on you, didn't he? Cutting you apart, torturing you. I say it's your turn, Vincent. After we get that information out of here and to ASRIO, we're going to go see Cid. Oh yes we are, and do you know what we're going to do with him?
He didn't want to think about it. Vincent slid from the bed and went toward the bathroom, intending to shoot up again to give himself some peace.
We're going to drag him off somewhere, Vincent. Somewhere cold and lonely and we're going to rip him apart, piece by tiny piece. We won't kill him, no, we'll let his self-induced disease do that, we will just make all of his remaining time agonizing. It will feel good to have his blood on our hands. Yes it will. Chaos, not wanting to drive Vincent into giving himself an overdose then went silent and stayed that way for the rest of the night.
Vincent drew up a dose of ferium. First, he filled the syringe to the same dose as he had given Spencer to kill him, but then he slowly pushed most of it back into the vial, until his syringe was loaded with just the prescribed quarter milliliter. He wouldn't kill himself tonight. Aaron didn't need that kind of news when his mother was already putting him through hell-- and he was, too.
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Aaron was lying wake in his bed, staring up into the darkness, mirroring his father's recent pose. He'd come out of his light sleep when he'd heard his mother and Cid raise their voices in the kitchen. It had ripped open something inside him.
See? It's all the same. Mom's going to argue with Cid now all the time just like she did with Dad, he thought to himself, feeling a sting in his eyes. He had been under far too much stress for a boy his age to handle. Something had snapped within him the other day, and he'd felt a strange feeling within him since then, but now lying here listening to that argument, that feeling began to change. Aaron sat up and placed his hands on the sides of his head, as he felt a pain within.
You can't live here like this, Aaron.
The boy's eyes went wide and he looked around in the darkness. He was pretty sure that the voice he'd just heard was in his head, but it had been so clear, so loud that he feared someone was standing beside his bed.
But there was no one else in the room but L.C., and he was asleep.
You can finally hear me. It's about time.
Aaron was now truly panicked. He flew out of his bed and over into the corner of his room, crouching down beside his desk. "Who's there?"
I'm not out there, Aaron. I'm in here, in you. Relax.
L.C. grunted and rolled over in his sleeping bag, not aware that Aaron was up.
The boy was shaking now. "Are you a ghost?"
Whatever it was, it laughed. No. I'm part of you, Aaron. I've been with you all along, but it's taken this long for me to get through to you. Only now were you unhappy enough to let me come to the surface. I can help you through this, but you have to do what I tell you to.
Realizing that this voice, whatever it may be, was really just something he was hearing in his mind, he slowly rose back up. Aaron wondered if he had gone crazy.
You're not crazy.
Aaron whispered back, "Who are you?"
You don't have to speak to talk to me, just think. You don't want other's around you to know I'm in here, right?
Aaron closed his eyes and thought, Who are you?
There you go. The voice sounded pleased. As for who I am, you have to give me a name.
Name you? Aaron opened his eyes and looked around his room, still not sure of what was going on. He hoped that this was a dream.
Yes, give me a name, Aaron.
Like what? the boy wondered.
There is another like me living in your father, Aaron. That's where you get me. He calls his 'Chaos'.
Aaron's eyes went wide. There had been a few times over the years when he had been eavesdropping on his parents and he'd heard that name mentioned. During those conversations, Aaron had just assumed that it was some sort of monster that had been involved in his mother and father's lives a long time ago. He never had thought once that the monster was actually part of his dad. Suddenly, he became more afraid. "No… I don't want to be a monster! I don't!"
L.C. was awakened as Aaron cried out in fear. He sat up and looked over at him in the dim light. "Spaz? Whatcha doing?"
Aaron had fallen to his knees, and was holding his head in his hands again. "Go get my mom!"
Scared to see Aaron obviously upset like this, L.C. did as ordered and got up quickly, running out of the room. He could see that the light in the kitchen was on and he made his way there. He found Tifa sitting alone at the table as Cid had, by now, gone back to his room.
Seeing L.C. standing before her, Tifa grew concerned. "What is it? Are you okay?"
L.C. pointed down the hall. "It ain't me, Tiff. It's Spaz."
Worried, she got up and followed the boy back to the room and turned on the light. She spotted Aaron curled up on the floor, mumbling to himself under his breath. Tifa went to his side and knelt down. "Aaron?"
When he turned his eyes to her, Tifa fell backwards and screamed. One of her long-standing fears had finally come true.
Aaron didn't understand her reaction to him and he felt tears come up. He reached out a trembling hand toward her. "Mom? Help me…"
Tifa couldn't bring herself to go and comfort her son. She was too mortified to do anything.
Cid, having heard Tifa's scream ran in. He came to her side and put an arm around her shoulders. "Tifa? What's going on?"
She pointed at her son as he lay there before her. "Oh God, Cid… Look at Aaron."
The pilot did as ordered and caught his breath.
Aaron's eyes were no longer the dark coffee color he'd had since birth. They were the color his father's had been many years ago-- red.
Cid saw that the boy, changed eye color or not, was in pain. He reached out and took his hand. "What happened, Aaron?"
The voice inside him growled. Don't let him touch you!
Aaron pulled his hand away. He didn't want to discuss anything in front of this man. "I just want to be with my mom… but she's scared of something…"
Seeing her boy now openly crying forced Tifa to push past her fear. She went to him and pulled him up. After leading him to his bed, she had him sit down. Tifa then turned to Cid and L.C. "I need to talk to him alone for a little."
L.C. instantly took the hint and shuffled off, but Cid hesitated. He went over and grabbed Tifa's arm, pulling her out into the hallway for a moment. Cid shut the boy's bedroom door and glared at her. "You thinking he's starting to do it like Sue?"
Tifa shrugged. She didn't want to have this discussion with Cid right now, she wanted to be in there with her son as he went through whatever was happening to him. "I don't know, Cid. I have to get back in there."
He blocked her path. "Look, if he's gonna freak out and pull that Chaos shit like his father, then there is no way I'm letting you or anyone else be around him alone."
"Back the fuck off, Cid." Tifa's maternal instincts were rearing up. "He's my son and he needs me right now."
Seeing that she was getting ready to hit him if he didn't let her by, Cid raised his hands in surrender. "You just remember what Sunshine did to you when he became that fucking thing, Tifa. Aaron might be smaller, but he could still hurt you if he went all out. Get me if anything starts to happen."
Tifa blew him off and opened her son's door and entered. She locked it behind her, wanting to keep Cid away for now.
Aaron looked up from where he was sitting and watched as his mother came back over and sat beside him. From the way she looked back at him, he realized that something was profoundly wrong with him. "What is it? What's happened to me?"
She gathered her courage and reached out, placing her hand against his cheek. "Aaron, what are you feeling inside right now?"
"Scared…" He looked away. "Angry. There's something inside me, Mom. It wants me to think bad things…"
This confirmed it for her. Somehow, despite all of the treatment that Vincent had received and his presumed cure of this condition, he had still managed to pass it onto his son. The thought that her boy was now going to have to contend with some version of Chaos within him, along with everything else that was going on in his world, pained her deeply. She hoped that ASRIO could help her son with this as they had Vincent. "Reno has some men working for him that might be able to make this better for you, Aaron. I'll call them, okay?"
"What is it? I've got that Chaos thing that you and Dad talked about a couple of times, don't I?" Aaron hung his head as he felt the tears well up.
She wasn't that surprised that he had heard this at some point. Tifa knew of her son's propensity for hearing things he shouldn't have. "Maybe."
"Why did you scream when you first came into my room?" he asked, wondering if he somehow looked different.
Tifa rose up from the bed and held her hand out to him. "Come with me, I want to show you something."
Aaron grabbed a hold of her and followed as she took him to her room. Tifa pulled out a small white photo album from her nightstand drawer. She sat on the edge of her bed and opened it.
The boy came to her side, wondering what she was up to. "Mom?"
Tifa pulled a picture from the album and examined it for a moment. "Look at this picture carefully, Aaron, and tell me what you see."
He took it and turned it over. It was a picture, presumably from the day his parents had gotten married, since they were dressed in wedding clothes. The main focus of the photograph was his father, smiling faintly. Aaron looked carefully, there was something wrong-- his dad's eyes were the wrong color. "Why are his eyes red, Mom?"
Tifa reached out and touched the picture. "A long time ago, your father used to have something inside of him that tried to get him to do bad things. It made his eyes that color."
Aaron suddenly realized why he'd been shown this picture and he let it fall from his grasp. "I…I want to see."
Tifa led him into her bathroom and turned on the lights. She stood behind Aaron as he went up to the mirror slowly, dreading what he would find.
The boy froze as he examined his own image. His eyes had lost their familiar dark color and he saw that they were just like his father's had been in that old picture. It was horrible, but being that he was a small kid, he couldn't completely write off the fact that in a way, it was cool. He donned a faint smile and went closer, getting a better look of himself. "I look just like Dad in that picture."
Tifa nodded. He did.