How Kind of You
Summary: Jack and Kate talk post "Collision". Spoiler warnings for season two. One-shot.
Disclaimer: Lost is owned by J.J. Abrams and Co. at ABC, and "How Kind of You" was written and performed by the amazing Sir Paul McCartney.
Jack heaved a sigh as he lifted his head from where his chin hung against his chest, and gazed out to the horizon. The day was so beautiful, with a clear sky and calm waves, very unlike the day before, with its harsh weather and overcast of death.
When Jack learned that Ana-Lucia was alive, his heart stopped. They had only talked for five minutes, yet the conversation would creep back towards the surface unexpectant. There wasn't anything imparticular that attracted Ana-Lucia to Jack, only the fact that she took the time to come and talk to him, and try and cheer him up. Had it been any other situation, Jack probably wouldn't of given her a second glance.
But that wasn't the case with Kate. With Kate, not only would he of taken that second glance, but he would've kept staring. Hell, he probably would've followed her down the street. There was something very different about Kate, something very comforting about her personality. Just the fact that she stopped to help him that first day- especially when there was risk of her possibly being caught- stuck out to him, and then even days afterward, Kate was still there by his side.
Today, however, it felt like none of that mattered. Nothing mattered. Someone was murdered, murdered by that same person who had come to him before the flight. Ana had changed so much since then, that Jack was almost afraid to know what happened during those forty-eight days. Or maybe it was just a personality trait that had always been there, that she had hidden at the sight of some poor, helpless guy, one that she could easily put under her spell without any effort on her part. What scared him the most about this was that manipulating was something that criminals were usually good at, and Kate could have a past of it. Jack was convinced, however, that Kate was changing, as they all were, and as they changed, people came and people went, and no explanation was given. Shannon shouldn't have died. Boone shouldn't have died. Joanna, Scott, his father..
How kind of you to think of me
When I was out of sorts
"There you are," a voice said from behind him, "I wondered where you dissapeared to."
Jack's heart leapt at the sound of Kate's voice. How was it that every time he thought he should be alone, when he thought these thoughts, that Kate was always able to find him? That Kate wanted to come find him?
It really meant a lot to be
In someone else's thoughts
Someone else's mind
Someone else as kind, as you
"Well, you found me," Jack said, giving Kate a small smile though he was sinking in despair.
"You weren't at the funeral," Kate said, crossing her arms, "can I sit down?"
Jack looked at the vacant spot next to him and shrugged.
"Sure."
They sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say, or how to say it. At last Kate asked the question that had been eating at her since Jack's absence at the funeral.
"Can I asked why?" Kate said carefully.
Jack looked down at the ground, and grew dizzy as he imagined himself sinking into the sand.
The thoughtfulness you showed has made
A difference in my life
"I never got to apologize," Jack replied quietly, "for killing him.
Kate's mouth opened and then shut, and she looked down as well.
"Boone," she realized, and Jack nodded.
Looking to the side, Jack watched as Kate played with the sand, scooping up a handful and letting it seep through her fingers, dropping into the sand.
"It wasn't your fault that he died, Jack," Kate said after the short pause, "you tried to save him. You did the best you could."
I won't forget how unafraid
You were that long dark night
Jack didn't reply. He was surprised to find that he had no argument to Kate's statement. Maybe all this time, he had been looking for Kate's reassurance.
I thought that all was lost
I thought I'd never find
A someone quite as kind, as you
"I wanted to save him," Jack said quietly, "he wanted me to let him go."
"Maybe it was for the best," Kate offered.
She looked at him.
"He would've suffered more than he had to," Kate finished.
I thought my faith had gone
I thought there couldn't be
A someone who was there, for me
Jack hesitating before replying.
"What am I going to tell their family?" Jack's voice cracked as he spoke, and he closed his eyes tightly as he felt them water. "I killed a family."
The statement slipped out before Jack could prevent himself from saying it. The voice in his head was coming back, the one that said no matter what he thought deep down, no matter what Kate told him, he was still the bad guy.
"Look at me," Kate said flatly.
Jack turned to her, meeting Kate's eyes.
How kind of you to stick by me
During the final bout
And listened to the referee
As I was counted out
"You didn't kill anyone," Kate said.
Her tone was kind though with a hint of desperation. Once again, Jack couldn't reply. It was as if Jack's mind were playing games with him, and only worked when Kate said something.
I thought my time was up
I thought I'd never find
A someone quite as kind, as you
"I should get back to the hatch," Kate said when Jack didn't say anything, "Sun's watching over Sawyer and I told her I'd be down there soon.
Jack looked down quickly to hide the disappointment in his eyes as Kate stood up. He couldn't say it, but he didn't want Kate to leave. Unbeknownst to Jack, Kate was watching him.
"On the other hand," Kate said, sitting back down, "Sawyer can wait."
I thought my faith had gone
I thought there couldn't be
A someone who was there for me
She smiled at Jack, and put a hand on his knee.
"It'll be okay," she promised him.
Jack looked down at her hand, and wondered if it would be wrong for him to put his on it, to hold it. Lifting a finger, Jack mentally took a deep breath, and let it crawl a centimeter towards Kate's. Kate must've been in the same mental debate as he was, for she looked up at him at that moment. Once again their eyes met, and Kate smiled. He then felt her hand on his, and she gave it a squeeze.
How kind of you to think of me
How kind of you...