So, this was originally posted in about 8 chapters, but I decided to clump this illogical mess into one story. I'm still working on it, and you'll just have to be patient. Sorry if I offend you. I like gay people, I like religious people. Don't shoot me!

The Day We Died

Bobby

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I heard myself scream even before my
brain processed what was happening. Mark, our suspect had stolen
thousands of dollars in jeweler and now his partner was dead. He
had done it. The case was almost too easy. That was before he pulled
a gun out.
As he fired Alex tried to pull out her own gun when I did, but
we were both to slow. I watched Alex fall as a splatter of blood hit
the wall. That was when I screamed.

Alex

It's a weird feeling dying. Sounds fade in and out, and the only
thing you can see are bright, vivid blurs of color. Death wasn't
painful. It was peaceful and oddly calming. My thoughts were dragged
back to the world as I heard Bobby scream. That was when my thoughts
took a turn for the worse.
If Bobby was screaming then he was probably down too. There are
two things you do not want to be your last thoughts. One, did I feed
the dog, and two, did my best friend die?

Deakins

I got the call about Robert and Alexandra at 2:30. I arrived at
the scene at 2:38. When you get a phone call telling you that your
two best detectives were just killed you get there fast because you
want to beat the crap out of the guy that did it. Sadly, the other
cops got that pleasure.
When I got there Robert was the first one I saw. He'd been shot
in the chest. I only noticed were Alexandra was when I saw her hand
on Robert's arm. She was curled in his arms and the bullet hole was
barely visible under her hair. He was always protective of her. Every
time they went undercover he would always fret over her safety.
Sometimes I thought he loved her.
I talked to the other cops on the scene. Alexandra had been shot
first, and Robert had been shot when he ran to her. That's Robert.
Get himself killed just to save her. He probably wanted to die when
she was shot. That's the worst thing about Alexandra. I don't think
she ever realized how much she meant to Robert. Mark was in custody
and now facing three counts of murder. Thank God.

Speaking of God

Alex looked around. How the Hell did she end up at a hotel? She
had been shot and ...Holy Shit! Alex grabbed her head. Sure enough
her fingers passed over a small hole in her left temple, and she ran
past everyone towards the restroom.
When she looked in the mirror she saw the hole in her head
surrounded by a little blood. She rinsed it off. Then she noticed the
rest of the blood. Her clothes were stiff and blood stained and her
eyes darted back to the mirror. That was when Alex realized she was
dead.
Glancing around she saw a very large hand dryer thingy. However,
the sign said Blood-Be-Gone. She pressed the green button. Whoosh!
She looked down at herself. The blood was gone. She ran out of the
rest room and only six feet out of the door she ran into a very
familiar and very comforting person. Bobby wrapped his arms around
her and sighed. He muttered into her hair.
"Alex. Oh God. Alex, are we-"
She looked up at him. "Yes Bobby, we're dead."
"Where the Hell are we?" As Alex opened up her mouth to speak a
small, winged being flew up to them.
"You must be new arrivals. Welcome to the Middle Hotel. This is
where you will stay until you're called to the weight room, and it is
determined where you will reside for the rest of eternity." The
flying thing led them to the lobby and pointed toward the counter
where there were different signs. "Please choose the appropriate
line, and enjoy your stay here." As it flew off Bobby tightened his
grip on Alex's waist.
"Well, that was strange," she said glancing up at him. She
frowned. "What's wrong?"
"We're dead." Alex nodded. "I just can't believe we're actually
dead." Alex stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. He looked down at
her as she wrapped her arms around his waste and hugged him tightly.
Bobby smiled and held her close.
"Look at the bright side," she said into his chest. "We are
still together." Bobby kissed the top of her head and sighed.
"Definitely a bright side."

Bobby

After I said that I felt Alex gently nuzzle against my neck.
She was so tiny. Sure, she wore heels but her head only came to my
chin. When I held her though, she was the perfect height, and when we
go-went-undercover I would sometimes have trouble letting her go. I
don't think she ever noticed.
As we walked I kept a protective arm around her waist and read
the signs. Accidental, natural, suicide, murdered and assassinated.
We walked underneath the murdered sign and got in line behind about
50 or more people. Then we waited, and waited and waited.
While waiting we played I Spy.
"I spy a guy with an axe in his head."
"He's right there behind the guy holding his head."
"Fine then. It's your turn."
"I spy a girl with no hair and knife in her stomach."
"She is..." Alex stood on her toes and tried to peer over
everyone's' shoulders. I chuckled. I know she hated it when I made
fun of her height, but it was so easy to do. Sometimes I just
couldn't help myself. She's cute when she's angry. If it's even
possible for her to be cuter.
"Having a little trouble there shortie."

Alex

When Bobby said that I swung around and hit him square in the
chest. I stepped out of his arm and turned my back to him. When he
didn't say anything I took a quick glance back and saw him lightly
touching his chest. When he pulled his hand away I saw the tear in
his shirt and a long gash in his skin. I could also see the bullet
hole right above the gash, but I was more worried about the gash.
I reached out and gently touched his chest. He looked at me and
muttered "sorry". I ran my thumb over the cut and looked up at him.
It wasn't bleeding. I looked at my hand. On my wrist was my charm
bracelet Bobby had given me last Christmas. I hugged Bobby.
"Oh Bobby. I'm sorry. I-"
"Its okay. I'm just so surprised that it's not bleeding." Bobby
gently took my hand away. "I guess it's just because our hearts aren't
beating anymore. I shouldn't have said anything." He let go of my
hand and didn't say anything else, nor did he put his arm back around
me. I never minded him joking with me about my height, and I usually
just lightly hit his shoulder. I never intended to hurt him. I hated
hurting Bobby. No one would ever believe this in a million years, but
he is or was fragile. He never showed how certain things hurt him.
Sometimes though you could tell. The defeated slump of his shoulders
or the way he avoided looking you in the eyes. I hated that the most.
I loved Bobby's eyes because every time I look into them I was lost
in two deep brown pools. Each time I was caught up in them I had to
make sure I didn't trip or just stop breathing altogether.
I lightly brushed my hand against Bobby's and pushed myself back
into his arms. He hugged me. I knew that this was his way of saying
that he was truly sorry. I smiled and
snuggled deeper into his arms. It made me think of all of our
undercover operations. He would always hold onto me longer then
necessary. He never knew that I noticed it. I hope because I liked
those few seconds. So, I had my secrets, and so maybe when did that
he never noticed how I tried to stay like that. Maybe he didn't
notice how I would always try to makeup excuses to go undercover.
Maybe he did notice and maybe he also noticed how much I liked it.

Bobby

When Alex manipulated her way back into my arms I sighed. It
meant she didn't hate me. Somehow holding her calmed me down. It
always did, and it always seemed harder to let her go when she was
the one who started. It always gave me hope that she liked me more
than she ever let on.
There was one person in front of us now and when they stepped
away Alex gingerly stepped forward. I felt her shudder. The thing
behind the desk was...in easy terms, dead and rotting.
"Name."
"Alexandra Catryna Eames."
"State how you died."
"I was shot by a suspect."
"Room 211." The thing handed Alex a key and in its raspy, yet
monotone voice said, "Next." I stepped beside Alex and nodded at it.
"Name."
"Robert Nathaniel Goren."
"State how you died."
"I was also shot by a suspect."
"Room 212." It handed me a key and Alex and I moved away towards
the elevator. I held her closer as I felt her shudder again when we
stepped into the elevator.
"What was that thing?" She turned towards me and I shrugged my
shoulders.
"I have no idea."

Time Passes

Man w/clock walks by

Time is Done Passing

Why Elevator Music is From Hell

The elevator ride was pretty uneventful. Then again I had gotten used to staring at the walking dead. That was before I saw the guy with the knives sticking out of every square inch of his body. That was also before the knife guy touched my butt, and that was also before Alex freaked out.
Alex and I were in the elevator alone for most of the ride. She was gently leaning on my chest, and I had my arms loosely around her waist. Alex was just a little shaken by the experience, but I didn't expect her to ask why where ever the Hell we were didn't have elevator music. I chuckled.
"Alex, if this place had elevator music I doubt that it would be the music you like." That earned me a punch to my shoulder. Grabbing her hand I twisted Alex around and caught her other hand before she could hit me again. Pulling her arms behind her I leaned down, and I stared her in the eye. She was glaring at me. "Bon Jovi isn't elevator music anyways." I quickly kissed the tip of her nose and let go of her as the doors opened.
She turned around to face the door, but turned back into my chest when He walked through the doors. He was shorted than I was. With short blonde hair and vivid green eyes he could have been considered hansom. You only noticed how handsom he could've been when you got past all the knives sticking out of his torso and limbs. I gagged. He reeked of dried blood, ammonia and bleach. That was where the burns on his throat came from. The deadly combination of ammonia and bleach would have caused poisonous fumes to melt him from the inside out. The knives must have been an after thought I thought grimly.
Alex's arms were wrapped tightly around my waste and her head was buried in my chest. I gingerly rubbed her back. Usually, a corpse like this wouldn't bother her this bad. It was just the fact that we were corpses and we were standing next to the worst one to be standing next to. Especially when the corpse thing next to you is gay.
Alex looked beautiful. A random thought, but true. So, maybe we were dead, but I could still think she looked adorable, right? She was just so tough all the time. However, now she looked vulnerable, and that wasn't how I would ever describe her. So my thoughts were on how cute my partner was when the knife guy touched my butt.

How to Divorce Your Dead Husband After Death

Time Passes and a Strange Man Grabs Goren's Ass; Eames Teases Him Relentlessly

Alex walked down the deserted hallway. This was the strangest hotel...not only was it a pit stop for dead people, but all the numbers were out of order. She glanced at a door number. 247. The next one was 214.
"Having a little trouble there, sweetie."
Yeah, I thought Hell was in the basement." Alex turned around to face the speaker. She screamed. "Holy s! No! You are supposed to be dead! oh my f God. Tom!" Alex ran to her late husband and threw her arms around his neck. He awkwardly patted her back.
"Ummm...Aly, it's okay. I'm fine." He lifted up her head, and looked into the bullet hole. "But what happened to you?" Alex let go of him. She wiped her eyes and spoke.
"I got shot on a case. Goren is here somewhere, but I was joking with him about this ghost this ghost that grabbed his, well, you know..."
"Arse?"
"Yeah. He sorta left me alone in the elevator and I can't find my room." Tom took his wife's arm and pull her into a room.
"That ghost?" He pointed at the guy sitting on the bed watching Sunday morning sermons and throwing darts at his arm (which was pinned to the wall). Alex looked up at Tom.
"YOU!" She tripped backwards out of the room. "Oh my God! My husband is gay, and he was cheating on me with a dead guy-She paused. "You're gay." Her eyes glazed over as she glanced back at the man on the bed. She snorted. "Good luck."
"Alex," Tom tried to grab her arm, but missed. "I didn't think that you would be here for a while and-"
"Tom, I want a divorce."
"We're dead. How in Hell are we going to get a divorce?"
"You're the one going to Hell. I didn't commit adultery."
"Then who is this Goren person?"
"My partner!" Alex began to storm off down the hall. "burn in Hell!"
"My transfer not until next week!" She heard a door slam and get on stomping down the hall.

"Well, that explains a lot."

Time Passes Once MoreHis Salary Goes Up

"Uuoofff." Alex stumbled a little, but was caught by a strong arm that had hooked itself around her waist. She looked up into Bobby's eyes. He smiled. Setting her on her feet he lightly brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"You okay Alex? You look kind of...upset." Alex glanced at him. He stared back and, she finally grabbed his hand.

"Just take me to the damn room Bobby."

Ice-cream and Anti-Depressants

"So, Tom is gay?" Bobby handed Alex another pint of cookie dough ice-cream and sat down on the couch next to her. She stabbed at the ice-cream with her spoon and nodded. He gently rubbed her ankle." That bad?"

"It just makes my whole mourning thing pointless. He was happy this whole time." She stabbed at the ice-cream again. "My whole marriage feels worthless." Alex sat up and laid her head on Bobby's shoulder. "I could have been dating!" Bobby snorted. Patting her head he laughed quietly.

"Now Alex, did you learn anything from this experience?" She elbowed him and smiled.

"Yeah. Choose better husbands, take the stairs and," Alex nudged Bobby's side just enough to make him move so that she could lay down with her head in his lap."You, Robert Goren, have a very pinch-able ass." Bobby blushed a little and tickled her sides. She squirmed and laughed as Bobby continued to tickle her. When he finally stopped she was half in his laugh and half off the couch.

"Take it back."

"Why?" Bobby tickled her some more. She shrieked and tried to push him away. He carefully pulled her back up into his lap. Alex sighed when she realized he had stopped, and she leaned against his chest to rest."You have a nice ass."

"You look often?" Alex grinned and poked his chest with her index finger.

"Only in passing and when I need an anti-depressant.

"Good. Very good." A dark shadow slid across the floor to the window."Very good." evil laugh

Time in Irrelevant