Some night Someday
By 7sTar
Author's notes: I got this scrap when I was conceiving my new story. It's Sam and Dean's POVs which I leave a clew in it – the call. BUT the call is not the call at the end of the "Asylum". I wonder if someone interests in it and I'll write another story following this one.
Status: Complete
Category: Angst
Spoilers: Set after "Asylum".
Rating: K
Summary: Just POV of Sam and Dean about their life and relationship when they rested in the motel someday.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Sam and Dean, I just write this only for fun. Please don't sue me.
Some night Someday
SAM:
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I jerked up, mouth wide opened without any sound except my rapid heart beating. Everything in front of my eyes disappeared except the dark ceiling of the motel. I rubbed my eyes and wiped off the cold sweat on my forehead then I heard the slight breath of Dean. He's lying on his stomach with half face piled in the pillow, the other half was facing me. Even in the dark I could see his sculptural nose and long dense eyelashes, or maybe it's just my imagination.
I sat up peeking at my watch: 3:30am. I couldn't fall in sleep right now; I must entirely sober myself up from my nightmare. I've been hunting demons while the nightmares always hunted me. I stared at Dean, my brother, my buddy, my fellow, maybe also the one who loved me most in the world, wondered whether he had nightmares or not.
Dean's my big brother even if sometimes I thought he's rather annoying in my mind when he lied to the people who didn't know our business. But sometimes lying was for sure the fast and efficient way to get something.
And he could yap smiling when the danger came, when the demon came. I thought he had a dark sense of humor which made me easy, calm in the emergency, or that's the way he protected me from the fear of the bottom of my heart.
Yeah, I had to keep my head easy, calm and clear to fight those unknown. I avoided our family's business for years; Dean's no doubt more veteran than me through his long time hunting drills. He's staying with Dad. He accepted his life as hunting demons. He just lived in this life, all of his twenty years.
The people I loved all left me, mom, Jess. Dad's nowhere to find but Dean, my big brother was here with me. I didn't know whether he's one of the best brothers in the world, but when I wanna kill him he just let me do it! And I did, I shoot him!
I never had a nightmare about his death, said nothing of killing him with my hands. BUT I DID SHOOT HIM. I didn't hate him, never ever. We had quarrels while every pair of brothers would have. He's a little self-righteous but I could live with it.
I told the doctor "we...met a lot of interesting people"" did a lot of interesting things" and I meant it. He's my brother, always and never, I'd die for him and I mean it.
It's 4:00am but I couldn't fall asleep any more. I just sat like this staring at him through the darkness and silence until the phone rang.
DEAN:
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I held my breath like a sleepy log, kept my posture the same way as before pretending to enjoy my sleep until the phone rang.
I knew Sam's thinking and staring at me now and then. And I knew he's woken up by his nightmare. I saw my baby brother, through my lightly opened eyelids, sitting on the bed, slender fingers crossed on his knees; looking so long, lean and lonely.
I wish he's still the goofy-looking baby whom I can cuddle with my arms kissing his worry and fear away. But I'm more pleased he's grown up, smart, devoted and brave.
Yeah, brave. Braveness doesn't mean you fear nothing. It meant you COULD face anything. But what he couldn't get rid of is his endless nightmares. He wanted to live a normal and safe life. He tried but the nightmares kept pursuing him. He had the powerful ability to foreknow something by his nightmares although he wouldn't believe it or admit.
I didn't wanna my baby brother bothered by the nightmares or his guilty feeling of the death of Jess. But how could I do? Only could I say something or do something unless he unbosomed himself to me. I told Sam to blame ME for Jess's death rather than himself, I told him "Sam you know we're going to find Dad right?"
I was damn hoping to find our dad. I missed him and I worried about him. Whatever what happened to my mom, to Jess, to our family, I must find him before which I swore to keep Sam from hurting.
But he's always hurt. He's so tender, kind that sometimes I didn't know how to get along with him. I didn't think he hate me when he pulled the trigger. Sometime people just didn't know how to love.
Was he remorsing? I saw him squeezing his fingers. "No, Sam, don't! I don't blame you at all." He couldn't hear the voice. It's from the bottom of my heart.
He's my baby brother, always and never, but he's not the one 22 years ago who needed my embrace. He grew up starting to live his life as a ghost buster. Whatever he'll become, he'll still my baby brother, my Sammy, always and never. I'll continue carrying him on.