Chapter 2
Mac shook his head, trying to clear his mind of that conversation. Certainly not one of the deepest they'd ever had. Certainly not anything earth-shattering. So why was it playing over and over in his mind? The far-off, almost dreamy look in her eyes. The softening of her features. Her childlike excitement. He'd never seen that look of pure joy on her face. Any positive expression from Stella held at least a slight undertone of pain. Of course she tried to hide it, but he knew her so well, he could see it every time. Except there, in that store.
He wondered if she'd ever gotten anything from Tiffany's. From the fantasy-like way she described it, probably not. "This could be my chance to show her, show her all she means to me." The thought came without warning, before he could squelch it. "No," he thought morosely "I can't take the chance that she doesn't feel the same. And why would she? She's...she's Stella. And I'm...well, I'm not what she's looking for. Or even close to what she deserves."
This case had been a lot about what people thought they deserved. Sara thought she deserved her father's money, even though she didn't live up to her part of the bargain. That receptionist thought she deserved that money just for knowing about it! And Darius. Darius thought he deserved the money, the love, and then Macs pity.
Mac felt the anger well up inside him again, as it had outside Darius' cell. The man had the nerve to stand there, and ask for Mac to feel sorry for him, to understand why he had killed all those people. Because his father had not been there for him. Mac had bristled at the excuse. He had known many people whose parents were far worse than Darius'. He had met them in the Marine Corps, then later as a cop. Hell, his own father was no picnic. And then his mind had turned to Stella. She didn't even know her parents. She didn't know where she came from, she had no family, no history to fall back on. And she had never used that as an excuse. Stella had fought her way through the system. She asked for little from the world, and it sometimes gave her even less. It was not an easy way to live. And she had suffered.
Stella could have used that suffering to become bitter and angry or to feel that the world owed her for the rotten hand she was dealt. But instead she became a strong, confident woman who used her own background to empathize with others. She absorbed the pain of those around her and her caring soul was reflected in her eyes. He could see it when she looked at him. She wanted desperately for him to be happy. Almost as if her own heart depended on it. She pushed him to break out of his shell. She pointed out the wonders around them, from their friends in the lab to the city itself. She charmed him and went out of her way to make him laugh. Even the smallest of smiles from him was a victory to her.
And she never asked for anything in return.
"She's the one who really deserves...well, something," Mac thought. He pushed his nerves aside for the moment and let his new found courage push him out the door.