Brief Moments
By Mishi
Chapter 18
My Darkness
Ohisashiburi desu ne? (It has been a long time, huh?) I'm sorry for making you all wait this long for an update. I have been ill, and it has taken all this time to get back in to writing. Hopefully, none of you will be disappointed with my new chapters. So here goes!
Now on to the story…
Sesshoumaru's dramatic exit had giving Inu Yasha the window for escape that he had been waiting for. He had had enough of family histories and cryptic fortunes. He was already on his feet with their sleeping bag in hand, when Kagome began asking her questions to Karen. He was resolved not to ask why she felt the need to start another conversation. All he wanted was to sleep.
"Karen, I have to know how Rin is able to share Sesshoumaru's feelings. She hasn't…I mean…she doesn't even know what kissing is." Kagome stumbled over her words as she tried to find a polite way to explain Rin's current sexual status.
"Rin has not yet experienced a man's touch. That is very true, but why do you believe she would need this? Why do you think that sex has anything to do with this ability?" Karen questioned.
"I wasn't able to do it until…"
"Come now, that is not true. You have always had the ability. You simply did not allow yourself to use it- that is, until you were forced to do so. Only recently, did you accept the possibility of being a miko. You came to this decision for the sake of the man you loved. You made no effort to accept it otherwise."
"Ok, that's true. Then what makes me so special. Rin is just as powerful as I am. I've seen what she can do. She purified Sesshoumaru without being affected. I couldn't have done that."
Karen fought with her heart's wish to speak out as the group waited for her words. It would have been so easy in that moment to give Kagome the truth about her Yasha blood. However, Karen had finally stumbled upon the one thing she could not command; her daughter's will. Shinta might have been willing to accept telling Kagome the truth, but the daughter that Karen had given him would not allow it. As far as the "woman," Yumeko Higurashi, was concerned, Kagome was 100 human.
Hiding the pain within her heart, Karen began to explain, "Rin has an unfair advantage."
"The youki…" Kagome whispered.
"I knew you would notice it on your own." Karen smiled as she said it.
"Youki?" Miroku asked.
"She doesn't know it's there. I hadn't caught it until after Karen taught me to scan my own power." Kagome explained.
"Ah, but she does know it is there. She does not remember the majority of her life before meeting my son. Therefore, she does not know why the youki is there. This is what you are feeling…her lack of confusion about its existence. Rin is not completely human. Like InuYasha, she is a hanyou. I believe her father was a yasha."
Miroku had to cut in, "You're saying that Rin is powerful, because she knows that she is part yasha?"
"Rin is powerful because she does not doubt who she is. She accepts that she has these powers, because she has no reason to doubt them. This is the only reality she knows. Since she has not been shown her abilities, she has never learned her limitations. She simply experiments and learns with each new outcome. The Yasha blood does make her stronger physically. Although, she would be powerful without the knowledge of the youki, because she does not doubt herself."
Sesshoumaru plopped down as hard as he could against the hard wood of the tree. The action had forced the halts of his swords to slam sideways into his thigh, causing a sharp pain that helped to numb his emotions. For a moment only, he felt nothing but the swords digging into his body. He closed his eyes and savored the distraction and the darkness that the trees veiled him in. Leaning his head back, he let it roll until his face turn toward the source of his unrest, and opening his eyes, he could still see Karen standing with them. 'Soon I can leave this place,' he told himself. 'She will not win. I am not some horse that she can use as a stud! To think that she would use me to bait nobility, and use Rin to be my tether," he snorted, "she is too wrong."
As angry as he was, Sesshoumaru had sworn an oath to the Empress, and duty forced him to stay were he was; regardless of the war that was raging within him. As he watched the distant figures move about in the fire light, Rin was making her way slowly towards him. He shifted to renew the pain, but it was not enough to hold back the feeling he had for Rin. He wanted her with him more than he wanted to hate Karen for the humiliation that she had brought upon him.
He had no intention on moving from the spot unless he had to. He simply sat there and watched Rin come closer and closer. Rin's slender form was backlit by the fire. "A shadow escaping the light," he whispered as he waited for her, "You should be engulfed in light, but you would choose the darkness. Why do you do this, Rin?" He couldn't watch her come any closer, he closed his eyes and focused on the sound of the forest beside him.
Rin had stopped several feet from him. Kneeling down into the grass, she placed her hands on her lap and waited without a sound. Something about her presence was too overpowering for him to bear. He had been closer to raging fires that had given off less heat than her delicate body.
'Why do I want to touch her so damn much? My body's not aroused. Why is it that I can't get her out of my mind?' He closed his eye and held them closed as tightly as he could.
Rin took it upon herself to stand and walk around Sesshoumaru. When she saw that he was not going to look up at her, she sat herself as close to his side as she could. "Sesshoumaru-sama, aren't those uncomfortable?" She asked looking down at the swords that were digging into the dirt and pressed again his body.