This is dedicated to my friend who is unfortunately in Thailand and I have no idea if she is all right. This is for you Tao, praying for your safety. I also like to dedicate to the person who inspired me to write this story. Wherever you are, I just wanted to tell you I think about you all the time. Thank you for memories and more important thank you for helping me find myself.
I also wanted to say in the story, Bra and Trunks are not related and either is Goten and Pan. I hope you enjoy my story and please review, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
--Cocoabear
Have you once felt you never belonged in the world? I have always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Every single thing I did was wrong, and no matter what I did it never turned out right. I always felt like a part of me was not even in my body, like someone else has another portion of me. I walk around feeling half-alive and half-dead. It was like this wasn't life and that it was just a pigment of my imagination. Like reality wasn't real and that everything I did held no meaning to anything.
Crazy I know, but yet it all made sense. Yet I still considered going on with my life, living it like it meant something to me. Don't get me wrong I love my life and I love the people who became a part of it. It was just that I always felt so alone. It's the friends that keep me happy; they always keep me on my toes. That's why I love them, they accepted me for who I am. I mean inside I feel so alone, the very core of my soul I feel like I'm not complete. Though I felt this way for awhile, I accepted it. I accepted being all alone. Then he had to come into my life. He had to change everything. He had to change me.
Pan walked over to her full-length mirror and examined her out fit. Well, this is as good as it gets, she thought to herself. She has chosen to wear a button down blouse with a pair of blue jeans. She sighed and walked to he miniature table with a mirror attached to it. She put all her hair clips and combs and the occasional outing of make up out on the table. She looked at herself and combed her hair and put it in a high ponytail. She walked over to her desk and picked up all her books and notebooks that she needed. She grabbed her khaki jacket and headed towards the door. She walked over to the bus stop and waited at the corner.
"Hey Panny," Bra greeted as Pan walked over to their lockers.
"Hey," Bra looked at her with a look.
"What's wrong?" She asked her voice filled with concern.
"Eh, what is not wrong? We're in school. Man this totally blows; we're wasting our youth being in this hellhole." Bra couldn't help but laugh at her remark. She knew Pan was really negative about being in school. Come to think of it, she was usually negative in everything.
"Come on Pan this is high school, we're young, we got plenty of other time to be grouchy, like when we hit the big 2-0." She laughed. Pan couldn't help but smile at her joke. She knew that was Bra was a year older and would be hitting the digit before she would. "By the way Pan you look so cute. Is that a new shirt?" Bra always knew how to make Pan feel better even when she didn't know what was wrong or when something was bothering her. She just made her feel good. Pan remembered when they were young, everyone wanted to be Bra's friend and as usual Pan was the loner, but that was when they were in grade school where Pan wouldn't talk to anyone. But of all the people to be best friends with she had chosen Pan.
"Well, I have to get to class. I'll see you on break at the library?" Pan asked Bra while slamming her locker.
"Yea, of course, I'll see you there and don't be late this time." She smirked knowing she herself would be the one showing up late.
"Yea speak for yourself," Pan smiled and started walking to class.
Jeez that was one heck of a boring class, Pan thought as she headed towards her Social Studies class. She couldn't believe the first day of school would be so boring. She thought it would be a bit more exciting since it was different with another year of wisdom to hold on to and it was a new air to breathe, but obviously she was exaggerating. She sighed as she looked for her class. When she finally found it, she walked in and decided to take a seat in the front. She looked around and said a few hellos to the people she knew from junior high. She took out her notebook and writing utensils for class. The teacher soon walked in with a huge smile excited to see fresh new, young faces this year.
"Good morning class… he was soon interrupted by the door opening. Everyone turned to look who would be the rebel in showing up late. A tall boy walked through the doorway. He wore a pair of baggy jeans with a white shirt underneath the leather jacket.
He had a bowl shape hair cut and a book bag hanging loosely over his shoulder. All the girls gasped and giggled lightly trying to catch his attention as he passed by them. The guys just smirked, each giving him a high five. Pan just rolled her eyes and looked back down at her notebook.
"Alright, first rule in my class is not to be tardy. Attendance does matter." He looked over at the student who turned up late, "please take a seat so we can get started."
Trunks looked around until his eyes soon landed on an empty seat up in front. He sat down. He looked over to his right and notice that a girl was sitting next to him. She didn't turn to look at him, but continued to face forward and concentrate what the teacher was lecturing about. He studied her face and lowered his eyes to see what she was wearing. To his satisfaction he liked the way she had her blouse unbutton and a ting top under it, almost teasing him.
"Is there a reason why you're staring at me?" She asked with out looking at him.
"No reason, just admiring the view," he smiled shocked that she caught him starring. "I'm Trunks and you are…"
"None of your business." He was a bit taken back by her attitude, usually all the girls he met melt at the sight of him.
"Son, Pan Son." The teacher was still taking attendance.
"Here," she called out quietly while raising her hand.
"Pan, was it, that's a nice name." This time she looked over at him. He smirked because this time he got a full view of how she looked and he couldn't complain.
"Is this a reason why you're talking to me? If you're planning on cheating off my testes or trying to get into my pants then you can forget it." She closed her notebook and stuffed it into her backpack. She stood up with out looking at him while walking out the door. Aww man am I losing my touch on chicks? He thought to himself. He looked over his shoulder at a bunch of girls staring at him and giggling. He ran his hand through his hair and smirking as he walked over to the girls.
Pan walked to her locker and grabbed all her books. She sighed, this was the longest day ever she thought to herself. She waited at her locker for Bra to show up so they could walk home together. As she was putting on her jacket she couldn't help but notice Trunks walking with a few girls by his side. She rolled her eyes, she knew he was some kind of womanizer. She turned back to her locker and closed it.
Trunks was obviously in a very good mood knowing he still had an effect over girls. A few girls started to follow him to his locker while still flirting uncontrollably with him. He smiled thinking to himself 'I still got it.' The one thing that dropped his ego tremendously was right in front of his face. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before approaching her. He leaned his shoulder against the locker beside Pan's.
"Hey look I think we got off on the wrong start. I didn't mean for you to think that I was trying to talk to you because I was using you for cheating or getting in your pants. Although, now that you mention it…" he said looking her up and down and leaning a bit closer towards her. "I wouldn't mind seeing what is so secretive in there." This time she turned her head and looked directly at him. He could tell he stepped over the limit because she turned slightly red on her upper cheeks and her nostrils started flaring.
"Look, you pervert go look for another skank to satisfy your needs. I am no ho you can just sweet-talk and slowly find your way to her pants. So back off and leave me alone." She yelled and stalked away down the hallway.
"Whoa Pan, what's got you all fired up?" Bra asked, when Pan nearly ran her over.
"There's this jerk who keeps bothering me. Jeez can he just leave me alone." She breathed out as she and Bra started walking out of the school grounds. Pan looked down at her shoes.
"Look Pan, you don't have to take things too seriously. I'm sure he just wanted to get to know you better. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Admitting he wants to get into my pants is not wrong," Pan spat as she looked over at Bra.
"Oh I see. Well he's guy, what do you expect." Bra laughed.
Finally she was home. Time to let the mask fall. She can finally be herself. The act is over. No more fake smiles and acting like everything is fine. No, now is the time to relax. She couldn't be herself at school, everything in her life was wrong. Her parents were never home and when they were things just got out of hand and things that were said should have been kept to themselves. She hated it but that was the way things were. She sighed and lay down on her bed and just let her mind wander. She didn't have many friends, nearly because she was a bit shy and that she was not a very social person. She was fine with having a few friends because they were all she needed to keep her happy. But yes there was that simple word that seems to complicate everything and to continue things that should have ended. She was just alone. She didn't know how to explain it but she was initially alone. Tears started to swell up in her eyes and the same feeling she felt every time she was physically alone. She sat up and tries to stop the tears, but they seem to have a mind of their own. They just kept falling. This was the same routine for the past months. What was happening to her? Why couldn't she control herself? All she wanted was someone to be there to hold her and tell her that they'll be there forever. All she was doing now was holding herself, but it just seem colder. She looked across the room to find her reflection staring back at her. "Your pathetic." She breathed out.
He ran his hand over his hair. A habit of his, if you couldn't tell. He sighed as he walked up the stairs to his room. Something felt wrong. He just didn't know what. He walked in his room and closed the door behind him. Just as it closed, in a matter of seconds it reopened. His best friend Goten walked in.
"Hey man, what up?" He walked in and sat on his bed.
"Nothing much. How the hell did you in here?" Trunks asked.
"Your mom let me in. She just got out of the lab and saw me outside." Trunks sat at his desk.
"Hey so what's going on? Any hot chicks?" Goten asked as he got comfortable on the bed. Trunks smirked.
"Oh yeah." His smile soon disappeared. "All except there was this one girl who kind of left me in the cold."
"Are you serious? She rejected you? Was she seriously worth it in the first place?" Goten couldn't hold in his laughter any longer. "Usually chicks who are shady aren't that hot in the first place." Trunks laughed at that comment.
"She was hot though, man."
"Forget about her, there are tons of girls I met today that all like you. You are the pimp, there's no need to get all down about one chick letting you down." Trunks smiled.
"Your right. I shouldn't get so worked up about it." Trunks then looked up at Goten.
"Did you get the stuff?" Goten getting the hint smiled slyly as he took out a plastic bag from his blue jeans.
"Oh yea, just got it today." He took one of the joints out of the bag and handing them over to Trunks.
"This should cheer you up." He took out one for himself, "Before we do this, may I be the first one to salute you on what a major babe-magnet you are."
Trunks held up his joint, "I salute to that."
They smoked in silence. Both were each pondering on different thoughts and leaving reality.
She tapped her pencil on the table. She couldn't figure out this math problem. Pan looked up to see if Bra would be by soon. She was bored out of her mind that she started doing her homework. She looked back at her paper. She felt someone taking a seat across from her. She looked up and tried not to lose her temper when she saw the person across from her.
"What do you want now?" She asked as she looked back down at her paper.
"Are you always this mean?" Trunks asked.
"Yes, now go away." She looked up again and notices him staring at her.
"WHAT????!!!!!!" She screamed. The whole library turned to look in their direction.
"Nothing. I'm just looking."
"Looking? You're staring at me again. Can you direct your eyes somewhere else?"
"I'm guessing you don't like being looked at."
"Yes now go away."
"Don't you ever smile?" Trunks kept questioning.
"No now go away."
"Tell you what, if you smile for me I'll leave." She looked up again and started to gather her things. She got up and was about to walk out of the library when a hand grabbed her arm forcing her to turn around.
"I'm guessing you don't like to smile either." He was so close to her that his breath tickled the top of her forehead.
"Don't touch me." She jerked her arm out of his grasp and started to walk out of the library and down the hallway. He stood there for a few seconds before running to catch up to her.
"I like your smile. It brightens your face." She stopped and turned to look at him.
"What?"
"I saw you smile the other day. You were with your friends in the hallway. I saw you smile. Even though it seemed hard to believe, but I saw it and you actually looked happy. Not counting the other times I see you with this expressionless exterior. I saw the real you."
"Look you freak, quit stalking me and leave me alone."
"You know your trying hard to get, but deep down I know that you want me." His shoulder slightly brushes against hers as he passes by. He smirks and keeps walking.
"Oh get off your high horse, not everyone wants you. So you can wipe that stupid smirk off your face." She shouts. She glares at the back of his head. He turns around and just smirks at her.
She stares at him, except this time her eyebrows weren't scrunched up and her lips wasn't turned down. She just stood there surprised.
She sat at her desk trying very hard not to look beside her. She knew he was sitting there glancing at her and she didn't dare look over. She took a deep breath and tried to pay attention to what the teacher was trying to explain to the class. That was until a paper ball flew at her head. She looked over at Trunks to see him trying not to laugh. She frowned at him. She took the paper ball and threw it back in his face. There was a few giggles heard throughout the class.
"Read it." He whispered while throwing the paper ball at her desk this time. She took it and threw it on the floor. She didn't care what it said.
The bell soon rang and she gathered her things and walked out the door. She walked to her locker and gather books for the next class. Some one soon shadowed over her. She rolled her eyes and sighed thinking that it was Trunks. She turned around only to be surprised to be faced with a new face.
"Hey," he said suavely. He had his hand positioned above her head and standing very close to her.
"Excuse me, do you mind backing off," Pan shouted while shoving him.
"Feisty. I like it," he walked closer and started touching her hair. "There's no need to be hasty." He grabbed her face to so she was looking at him.
"No get away from me." Pan screamed all the while being scared to death. She knew she was powerless, this guy was a lot stronger than she was. He had her blocked up against the lockers. Everyone in the hall stopped and watched, no one daring to help. They themselves were scared of the consequences of their own heroic actions.
Trunks saw the whole encounter across the hall. He ran and pushed the guy away from Pan while taking a place in between them.
"I believe the lady said no," Trunks said giving the look to listen.
"Hey who the hell are you to tell me what to do." He questioned as he stepped closer to Trunks so their faces were inches away from each other.
"You mess with her, you mess with me." The guy brought his hand to punch Trunks, but it was easily blocked it. Trunks then took his chance and punched in the face. He flew across the hallway and ended up crashing against the lockers. He lay there knocked out of his senses. Trunks turn around and looked at Pan. Their eyes met and he could see the fear and pain the guy caused her. He wanted to hold and take it all away.
"Are you okay?" He asked sympathetically. Pan nodded her head and turn to look at the guy who was bothering her when she saw that he was heading towards them again.
"Trunks, look out." Before he got a chance to notice any thing, he was tackled down to the ground hard. One of the teachers came out of the hallway to see what all commotion was and found them fighting.
"Hey you two, stop it right now!" Two security guards soon came and each taking the students by the arm. They both looked like criminals, with the security guards holding their hands behind their back. Pan notice all the cuts and bruises on Trunks' face. He didn't look over at her as they passed by. She couldn't help but feel guilty.
He took the ice pack and pressed it against his lower lip. His eyes squint in pain. He sighed as he sat in the Dean's office.
"What happen Trunks? Tell me cause I need a reason why you're getting into so many fights? Can't you ever calm down and handle this in a more orderly fashion? Violence is not the answer." Dean Tarjan kept going on and on how this was not appropriate and what his punishment would be. "Do you have anything to say at all? What kind of behavior you have shown today? Tell me Trunks cause I am dying to know why you're always getting into so many fights." He screamed as he pounds the desk with his fist. He looks directly at Trunks, waiting for Trunks to answer.
Trunks didn't really have a reason why he got into so many fights, all that he knew was that he just didn't get along with a lot of people. He caught himself a few times hitting on girls who are already taken. He ends up fighting with their boyfriends. Its not like he had a choice, how would he know that the girls had jealous boyfriends when they were flirting back. But he never stood up for anyone before. Pan's face came into his mind and he knew for a fact that there was no reason for him to be defending Pan. He cared for her, even though he didn't know her. He wanted to take that and find a way to figure her out.
She walked out of her last class and walked straight to the Dean's office. She took a deep breath before stepping in. She looked around until her eyes landed straight on the person she was looking for. He was in the nurse's office that is attached to the Dean's office. He was sitting down. He had both of his arms resting on his knees, one of his hands held an ice pack on his head and the other was tangled in his hair. She slowly walked up to him and stopping when she was in front of him.
"Did the nurse wash your cuts?" She asked, her voice soft and gentle. He looked up and slowly sat up straight in the chair. He stared at her for a minute before answering.
"No, she just gave me an ice pack and said she would be right back." Pan smiled slightly and put her book bag on the table before opening the medicine cabinet for the Neosporin along with bandages. She placed them on the table and walked over to the sink and grabbed some paper towels. She rinsed the towels in the water and squirted soap on it. She walked over to him and kneeled before him. She started wiping the blood off his forehead and slowly moving to his lips. She scrubbed just enough to wash off the germs and blood, but gently not to cause him pain.
"No one in this school can do anything right," She finally says as she cleans the remainder of the blood off. He doesn't say anything at her comment, but mainly just look at her while she cleans his face. She looks at him for a second and sighs.
"I could of handle it. You didn't have to help me," She looked away as she said it. "I mean look at you. Your hurt."
"Its no big deal. It happens. It wasn't worth seeing you hurt. I mean isn't that what friends do?" He asked quietly. He didn't make any eye contact with her, but just stared at the ground. She looked at him for awhile with a blank expression on her face. She then moved her bangs out of her eyes and looked down.
"Friends?" She asked confused. "Trunks we just met. How could you possible consider me a friend? You know nothing about me." She then looked back up at him.
"Well you never really got to know me either. Even though you might be bitter, that doesn't stop me from getting to know you. And I think I know a lot about you."
"Oh yea? What do you know?" Pan asked curiously, grabbing a chair and sitting directly across from him.
"I know you bite your lower lip when you're concentrating. I know you tuck your hair behind your ear when you're nervous. I know you have a dimple in your left cheek every time you smile. I know you're reserve and distant."
"Wow, no one ever paid that close attention to me before. Not even my best friend."
"Well, I never been so observant about anyone before. You can even say I'm infatuated with you." She couldn't help but let the smile spread across her face. It was a true smile, one that wasn't masking her sadness. It brought a certain glow to her face.
Pan walked into the bathroom and found Bra fixing her hair.
"Hey Pan, I've got the best news ever." She said excitedly.
"What? What is it?" Pan asked while washing her hands.
"I met someone."
"Who?"
"His name is Goten. He is so sweet, Pan, you should meet him. Oh I can't for you to meet him. I just know you'll like him." Pan smiled.
"I'm sure I will. I'm sure he's perfect. Oh I'm so happy for you." She exclaimed jumping up and down while flinging herself at Bra to give her a hug. They both pulled apart and started jumping up and down squealing.
"This has to be the best news ever Bra!"
The next few days Bra has been spending a lot more time with Goten. She was spending all her time with him that she and Pan hardly hanged out anymore. In fact they rarely saw each other. Pan was starting to regret be happy for Bra. She was a bit lonely, but she always had Trunks to keep her entertain. They started spending more and more time together. They would have innocent flirting, and teasing each other every now and then. They would get mistaken a lot for being a couple because they were with each other all the time.
It was a warm breezy evening and walking was such an enjoyment. They both walked side by side after watching an action movie. Trunks was wearing a pair of baggy khaki pants and a nice blue button down shirt. He has been changing his clothing ever since they become better acquainted, Pan thought as took side glances at him. She smiled as she remembered when he came in the first day of school dressed like a punk. He looked good then too. She started to have feeling for him ever since the day of the fight. She also notices how the wind his hairs into his eyes, making him look mysterious.
Pan was wearing a summer dress with a black quarter sleeve wrap around shirt. She had her hair half up and half down. Her hair waved half way down her back, with her bangs pushed neatly to the side. Of course a few escaped and in to her eyes. Trunks noticed that she had her arms crossed over her chest. She shivered at the small breeze that pushed through them. He took his leather jacket that he been holding and put it around Pan's shoulders. She looked over at him and smiled, "thanks," her cheeks reddening a bit. He nodded shyly and looked away. She looked over at him and wondered what happen to the smooth talking Trunks that could talk his way into anything.
They walked up the stairs of Pan's porch and stopped in front of the door. They were under the porch's light. They both avoided eye contact; Pan had her hands behind her back while Trunks tucked his in his pockets. He ran his hand through his hair and looked up at Pan. She then looked up, blushing slightly.
"I had a fun tonight."
"Me too." Why is this so hard? Trunks thought to him self. I never get this way towards other girls. What makes Pan so different? He looked up at her and instantly knew the answer. He was starting to feel something more than friendship and he couldn't snap out of it. He liked everything about her.
"So…I'll meet you at the water fountain near the gym?" He asked quietly.
"I'll see you there." She smiled and turned towards the door and turned the door knob when she remembered something.
"Here's your jacket, don't want you to be cold on your way home." She said while slipping the jacket off her shoulders.
"No keep it, next time you forget your jacket just wear that."
"What? It's getting chilly Trunks. Take your jacket."
"Nope I'm a man, I can handle the cold." He smirked tucking his hands into his pockets, while walking down the stairs. She laughed and turned to go inside. She was finally becoming like she was whole again. It was almost like Trunks was her other half. He completed her. He was always there when she needed help and he had this huge sense of humor that she loved. She did like him. HE also looked really good, the one time she came over to his house and caught him with out his shirt. Ah, it was definitely a sight to see, he was built like you wouldn't believe. She had to calm her hormones as she ran up to her room to change. She liked him so much that she wore a dress. She wasn't proposing that the encounter she had with Trunks was a date. It was just two friends going out to watch a movie. So she thinks.
Trunks walked into his house a happy because the night went well with Pan. They were starting to get along and enjoy each other's company. He smiled to himself as he thought how sexy she looked tonight. The smile soon fell when he went up to his room to find his parents there. His father was standing against the wall looking more irritated than usual and his mother was sitting on the bed with her arms crossed and a very angry look on her face. She looked up at him when he entered the room.
"Hey what are you guys doing in my room?"
"Waiting for you boy," his father grunted.
"What's this, Trunks?" Her mother took the plastic bag she had tucked under her arm out to show Trunks. It was the plastic bag Goten had forgot to dispose after they were done. It still had at least two more joints in the bag. They were to high to notice that they forgot to hide the evidence. Trunks sighed and shook his head.
"Who gave you the right to look through my room?" Trunks asked getting angry of not having any privacy.
"We have our reasons; Goten's mother just caught him and phoned us wondering if OUR son was involved." She stood up as she screamed. "Drugs, Trunks!!!!!!" What is wrong with you? You know better than that!" She started yelling at the top of her lungs and soon was breathing hard from all the energy of raising her voice. "I raised you better than this," she said the last part quietly before breaking down crying. Vegeta walked over to Bulma and put his arm around her to reassure her everything was going to be alright.
"That's why were taking you to the best rehabilitation center."
"WHAT???? WHERE IS IT???"
"Well, the best one is outside of town. So back up your stuff now, you're leaving tomorrow."
"It's for your own good, Trunks." Bulma finally calmed down and regained her voice from the stifle cries.
"Can I at least go back to school to say good-bye to everyone?"
"No, its better to just leave, I know you want to say good-bye to that girl you been seeing, but it'll only cause pain. Good-byes are hard." Trunks got upset and punched his dresser so hard it lost balance and fell over.
Pan came out of class a bit disappointed because Trunks didn't show up at their meeting spot. He also didn't show up for class, she wondered if he wondered back to trouble. Just as she thought he changed, he goes back to his old habit. She was also upset that she had took a while in picking out an outfit. She wore a dark green wrap around with a pink shirt under it and a short blue jean skirt. She walked over to her locker looking a bit down cause today was also the day she was going to tell Trunks she liked him more as a friends.
She looked around and saw Goten and Bra walking hand in hand towards her. They both smiled at her. She looked at Goten when they arrived next to her.
"Goten, do you know where Trunks is?" She knew him and Trunks were really close friends.
"Pan….he left."