Hehehe… it has returned! This was too much fun to write to just let it sit in the bin of oneshots. I'm glad everyone likes this! XD I'd use other pairings, as a reviewer suggested, but for some reason AnsemRiku pairings are the only ones I can stand to write. o.O;; Unless you all would endure Ansem/Sephiroth. XD Course, then I'd die of Bishounen-Overload.

-

"Again. Once again, we're stuck in some stupid place."

"At least we're not in a closet again."

"Like this is better?"

"Well, this time I don't have to get you to come out of the closet."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Ooo, language, Riku!"

"Shut up. Just shut up. Right now."

"Hehehe…"

"Don't you DARE start that laughing again!"

"Hehehe… OW!"

"Serves you right, you moron."

"You will pay for that!"

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Like this!"

"Huh? Aah!"

"…How d'you like them apples?"

"They're very sour. Now get off me, I can't breathe."

"What do you mean by that!"

"Well, come on. I'm a fifteen-year-old kid. You're twice my size. You must weigh close to two hundred. Of course I can't breathe!"

"Just for that, I'm gonna…"

"Gonna what? … … …Ansem."

"What?"

"I'm going to kill you. Very, very painfully."

"Oh, come on. You can't deny that I'm talented at that."

"… … …"

"You aren't saying anything."

"I'm not going to."

"You just did."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Oh, I will, Ansem. I will."

"Pff. I'd like to see you try—mmph!"

"Ha ha. Two can play at that game, you fag."

"I only did that to make you stop whinging. You had no motive whatsoever."

"Yes, I did! I—wait a second. It's dark in here."

"Congratulations! You can tell the difference between light and dark! Give the kid a prize!"

"No, I mean—Aah! Ansem let go of me!"

"No."

"What? Why!"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"If I let you go, you'll try to strangle me again. Or worse."

"Oh, come off it! I will not!"

"Swear?"

"Rrrgh…. Fine. I swear."

"Okay… but how can I trust you?"

"Say WHAT?"

"Do everything exactly as I say, and I'll get off you."

"Rrrr…"

"Say… you pork donkeys!"

"I will do no such thing!"

"Okay, then. I guess I'll just stay put…."

"Ansem, you bastard! Fine… I pork donkeys."

"You what? I can't hear you."

"How the hell can you not hear me! My mouth is less than three feet away from your ear!"

"Louder, Riku! Or…"

"Or what? AAAH! ANSEM! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE! RIGHT NOW!"

Almost fearful of what she might find this time, Maleficent cautiously approached the secret room in the library. She picked up the book, and set it in the appropriate slot. The bookcase slid open, and once again, she gave the "Deer-in-the-headlights" look. Ansem was lying atop Riku with his hand down his shirt, and Riku was squirming madly.

"Uh… Ansem?" she said tentatively.

Ansem's head whipped around, and he felt his face redden. "I wasn't doing anything!" he cried, hastily standing. "Nothing happened!"

Behind Ansem, Riku grinned maliciously. Time for a little revenge.

"Oh, yes you were!" he said, evincing an angry glare from Ansem. "Maleficent, if you heard some of what he was saying to me, your ears would bleed."

"No! Don't believe that little runt!" Ansem snarled, glaring at Riku.

Maleficent looked from one to the other with a horrified look on her face. Then she ran screaming from the library.

-

Hehehe… this is just getting too much fun… XD The donkey porking stuff I got from X-Play's "Splinter Cell Co-Op Theatre." Does anyone out there watch X-Play? My friend Rune told me about this at a summertime band practice. I think her cousin and her friend thought it up. I tweaked it to fit KH. I hope they don't mind.

(Sora, Riku, and Ansem meet on the street. They stare at each other)

Riku (staring at Ansem): I thought you were dead!

Ansem (staring at Riku): I thought you were dead!

Sora: I'm alive!

Riku and Ansem: Shut up, Sora. No one's talking to you.