Raising Ryan

Chapter 3 – Breaking the Grinch

Looking at his alarm clock, Seth realized it was only two minutes later than he looked the last time, and only six minutes later than he looked the time before that. Deciding he couldn't stand it any longer, he threw the covers aside, as well as caution to the wind, and jumped out of bed.

Things had quieted down a bit once his parents let Ryan back into his room. Apparently his room meant more to him than anyone realized. While he kept his promise to keep the girls out and lay off the booze, Ryan hadn't exactly come around on the whole holiday issue. Seth hoped today he could make a difference.

The pool house was locked up tight as a drum when he approached and he knew he was about to come face to face with the Grinch himself, especially at this hour. Seth couldn't help but push his tongue through his lips and wring his hands together. What's the worst that could happen? Well, Ryan could take his face off and severely mame him. Swallowing hard at that realization, he nodded as if answering his own silent questions and decided the risk was worth it.

With the snap of the latch, he entered the dragon's lair. It was dark and quiet and the only sound was the deep, restful breathing of the beast himself. True, it was still the pool house, and it was only Ryan sleeping on his stomach, but at five-thirty in the morning, Seth knew he was about to force someone out of hibernation, someone who was not ready to come out of hibernation, on the one day of the year he wanted to avoid. There was a good chance he'd see fangs and flames, from Ryan that is, but the devil inside him wouldn't let him leave it alone.

Kneeling down next to the bed, Seth made sure he was looking at the back of Ryan's head…it's harder to hit someone that's behind you. At least Seth would have some warning if Ryan's arms started flailing.

"Ryan…" Seth whispered hoarsely.

The beast didn't move.

"Ryan…" Seth attempted again in a quiet voice.

The beast's hand flinched and a moan escaped from his otherwise still dormant shape.

"RYAN!"

That did it. The beast bolted straight up in bed and searched his lair for the intruder. When his line of sight came to rest on Seth he narrowed his eyes on him, secretly planning his death. It was at this time that Seth could have sworn he saw smoke escape from Ryan's nostrils. It might be a good time to explain to the beast why he'd been woken up from his slumber.

"Hey Buddy…Merry Christmas."

Swallowing the night's dryness in his mouth, "You woke me up, at five thirty in the morning…to tell me that? You understand I have to break both your arms now," Ryan warned with a flat tone.

"Yes, I do. Consider it a Christmas gift."

Laying back down, Ryan stretched out and closed his eyes again.

"Well…Ryan…" Seth voiced with child-like disappointed. "How can you go back to sleep? It's Christmas!"

"It'll still be Christmas six hours from now and I'm still not going to be happy about it. Maybe if we talk about this then, I'll let you keep your arms."

"Dude, come on…"

"Seth, I've spent the last two weeks telling you how much I hate Christmas, don't push it."

Sitting on the floor in a pout, Seth considered Ryan's opinion. How could someone hate Christmas? That was so…so…Atwood of him! Christmas was a tradition and a holiday that carried 'ubber' weight in the Cohen family. This was Ryan's first Christmas out of Chino and Seth was determined to show him it could be everything he ever dreamed a holiday could be…if only he'd let him.

Again, Seth decided to go against the popular choice and he opted for adding fuel to the fire. He was about to 'push it'. Hard.

Standing up, "It's time to get up Ryan."

"Go…away Seth."

Instead of responding, Seth reached down for a pillow that Ryan wasn't laying on, raised it high above his head, and with all his might, smacked Ryan right across the face with it.

"You're fucking dead!" Ryan yelled, ripping the covers back as Seth took off for the main house with Ryan hot on his tail.

Pouring his morning coffee, Sandy was startled by Seth, bursting through the patio doors and tearing across the kitchen, "RYAN'S UP!"

Lowering the cup from his lips, he watched his son flee from the room with lightning speed as Ryan came crashing through the door and halted at the sight of Sandy. It didn't take a genius to know Ryan was not happy about the early morning wake up call.

"Ryan, morning. I take it Seth wouldn't let you sleep. Coffee?"

"No. I want to go back to bed," Ryan crabbed.

"I'm sure that can be arranged. Then again, Ryan, today might be okay. Give it a chance. Last time I gave you that advice I was offering you a place to stay and it worked out rather well."

Somehow Ryan managed a glare through the peepholes known as his eyes, "This is different Sandy. This is Christmas. Holidays and Atwoods…" his words failed. "Do me a favor and don't push it, not today."

Sandy nodded, wishing he could help Ryan see things differently, but he knew that was asking a bit much. Ryan's old life left a lot of scars and this was one of them. He could tell Ryan appreciated life in Newport, but some things hadn't changed, and one of them was the way Ryan felt about the holidays. They'd managed to limp through Thanksgiving. Ryan enjoyed the meal but remained distant. The Cohen's did every little thing up so big, he still found himself needing space at times, and some times he just couldn't do it. And with all the hype of the Christmas holiday, this one was wearing on him. He just wanted it over with.

"Morning," Kirsten greeted sleepily. "Ryan, you're up," she admitted with a shocked tone.

"Yes, but he's up against his will," Sandy explained.

"Seth?"

Sandy nodded and Kirsten turned to Ryan, offering him a sympathetic look.

"Is he gone yet?" Seth whispered from the living room. With no answer he peeked around the wall into the kitchen just as Ryan put his hands on his hips and zoned in on his location. "Oh. Not gone…yet."

Easing his way into the kitchen, Seth positioned himself in the protective slot between his parents. Ryan's eyes followed him across the room.

"You know, of all the adjustments Ryan's made since coming to live in Newport, it's amazing that he can go 'Chino' on anyone in a heartbeat," Seth complained.

"Seth, you know Ryan likes to sleep in. You guys are on break from school, you should let him sleep," Kirsten reasoned.

"But the presents…"

"What presents?" Ryan questioned, dodging his eyes from one Cohen to the next. "What…presents?" he pressured again, aggravation present in his voice.

"Ryan, dude, it's Christmas morning."

Seth's voice was so innocent and quiet, Ryan didn't have the heart to yell at him again. Instead, he turned to Sandy and Kirsten.

"I told you not to buy me anything. No presents."

Clearing her throat, Kirsten attempted to ease Ryan's concerns. "I promise Ryan, I didn't go crazy because I know what you said. However, there were a few things you've been needing, I'm sure you already know what they are. Instead of giving them to you when I bought them, I wrapped them and put them under the tree."

Trying to contain his frustration, "I don't want you to do this. If you do this…it's only a matter of time before you throw it in my face. 'Ryan we bought you this and that, you owe us. Ryan straighten up or we'll take 'this' away from you'." Ryan's nerves were clearly rattled and his half-asleep stupor wasn't helping any. His chest puffed and deflated in an attempt to keep on lid on his feelings. "Christmas for me…I'm just much better off if I sleep it off and wake up tomorrow. I know this means a lot to you guys but…I just can't do it. You're going to have to do this without me."

Avoiding eye contact, Ryan turned and quietly left, closing the door behind him and leaving the Cohens standing in silence.

"Dad…"

"Let him be Seth. We have to remember what he's been through. Give him time. Nothing we're going to do or say is going to change what his history has already shown him. All we can do is go about our regular day, offer to include him and let him see for himself that it'll be okay. There's still time for him to come around. Christmas isn't over yet."

"I think you're Dad is right. The more we try to force him to participate, the more he'll withdraw. Let him sleep. He'll be back when the food is out."

Resigning himself to the fact that this Christmas morning things were going to be a little different, Seth nodded his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his robe.

Things were a little different in the pool house too. Ryan stood in the middle of the room, staring at the floor with his hands on his hips. He knew he was making this harder than it had to be. The Cohens had proven themselves to him time and time again but it was times like this when he felt the most vulnerable. He didn't know how to act or what to say. And he'd felt the Cohen's had done plenty just by taking him in. Being showered with gifts made him feel guilty. Maybe he could find it in himself to at least show up for dinner. He owed his new family that much. Throwing himself back down on the bed, he opted to sleep a few hours longer first. He just wanted the holiday over with and for things to go back to normal. He'd learned to like the 'normal' in Newport and the sooner he could get back to it, the better.

With mid afternoon approaching, the Cohen kitchen was alive with hustle and bustle of preparations for Christmas dinner. Seth walked from one side of the kitchen to the other, attempting to snack on as much as possible and being constantly shooed away by his parents. The kitchen came to a standstill when they all realized that Ryan had walked in, dressed up in his best casual clothes and apparently ready for dinner.

Happy to see he'd changed his mind, Kirsten welcomed him into the mayhem. "Hey Ryan. I'm glad you…"

"I know, you don't have to say anything," he cut her off, nervously. "I thought maybe I could help with something."

"Absolutely!" Sandy encouraged. "How do you feel about peeling potatoes? The idea of giving Seth something with a blade just scares me on many levels."

Nodding, Ryan took a seat at the counter and Sandy passed him the peeler and a bowl of washed potatoes.

"Perfect! The potatoes are all you kid!"

Thankful he could appear to be participating even though he wasn't doing much and relieved his 'part' didn't involve assistance from anyone else, Ryan worked on the potatoes and monitored the activity fluttering about the rest of the kitchen.

Once everyone had caught up with their assigned task and food was cooking in every corner of the kitchen, and Sandy and Kirsten had shooed Seth away from the food for the millionth time, "Ryan, come with us for a minute," Kirsten coached.

"Where are we going?" Ryan questioned, hesitantly.

"Just into the living room. It'll be simple, I promise."

Tipping his head at Kirsten as if to warn against any tricks, Ryan forced himself off the barstool and followed Kirsten into the living room.

The living room was an amazing place in the Cohen home during the holidays. Ryan would never admit it, but he'd snuck in here a few times during the night when the rest of the family was asleep and sat on the couch in the dark with only the Christmas tree lit. Holidays back in Chino were nothing like this and he was embarrassed to show his interest in the holiday, even though he knew his new family would understand his curiosity. He supposed he would jinx it all if he enjoyed it too much so he kept his old mindset instead, expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. His family had a sorry excuse for a Christmas tree. It was always crooked in the stand and the branches were sparse. There were never any lights strung on the tree and his Mom only had about ten ornaments for the entire tree. And, of course, that was if they tree was allowed to be put up at all. Depending on the mood of his Mom during the holidays, there were many seasons when the boxes with decorations never left the garage. There hadn't been a tree up at his Mom's house in years.

The Cohen's tree was ridiculous. Not only was it huge, it was so coated with lights and decorations, you could only see little bits of tree branches sticking out here and there. It was like something Ryan had only seen in department stores.

"Ryan, sit down," Kirsten instructed pointing to the couch. Allowing him a moment to take a seat, she reached under the tree and retrieved a box that looked like an oversized shirt box. Sitting down on the couch next to Ryan, who was already squirming, Kirsten tried to keep the situation going in a positive direction.

"I can see you're already uncomfortable Ryan so let me explain something first," she paused. "Remember that day we were at the mall and you mentioned you liked that one jacket another boy was wearing?"

Ryan nodded, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, I know the only jacket you have is your leather jacket, which you love, and that's fine. But, I thought it would be nice if you had another one just incase you wanted to wear something different once in a while. So…I found that jacket the other boy was wearing…the one you liked. That's what's in this box and I want to give it to you. I want you to have it."

Passing the box onto Ryan's lap, Kirsten watched him carefully, cautious not to push him over the edge.

Clearly tense, Ryan allowed the box to sit on his legs and he placed his hands on the top of it, resting his fingers gingerly on the shiny paper full of Santa faces, careful to avoid the giant gold bow. His forehead winkled, unsure of what to say. Tapping his left hand three times on the box, "You didn't have to do this," he offered finally.

"I know. I wanted to. Would you like to open it?"

"I can't," he panicked, shaking his head. 'If I open this, that's when everything will start to go wrong."

"It's okay kid," Sandy coached. "We're all here and we're not going to let anything happen."

"Just this one box, Ryan. Please?" Seth begged.

With his ears ringing, Ryan looked at Seth's pleading face and swallowed hard. "I guess you guys don't save paper or bows."

"You're free to tear that sucker open kid," Sandy encouraged.

Still swallowing nervously, Ryan slowly opened one end of the wrapping paper while Kirsten smiled at Sandy and he nodded back her…so far so good.

Once the side was open, Ryan ran his hand under the paper causing it to rip right across the middle. After the paper slid aside and revealed the white box underneath, Kirsten reached across and pulled the unnecessary sheet of paper away and discarded it on the side of the couch.

Lifting the lid of the box, Ryan folded back the fresh tissue paper to reveal exactly what Kirsten said would be inside. It really was a sharp jacket and he was surprised she was able to track it down without knowing the brand or anything.

"I was eight years old the last time I got a Christmas present," Ryan admitted quietly. "It's very nice. Thank you." The corner of his mouth flashed a quick smile.

"Is that the right one? If it's not, we can take it…"

"No. That's it."

"You okay buddy?" Seth inquired rather pointedly.

Taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the ass to all of you. It's just…every time I allow myself to enjoy something like this, something always happens and it ruins it. The last Christmas I had that was actually fun was when I was six years old. I've just got too many bad memories. Things have been going pretty good here, except for when my mouth gets me in trouble. I hate the holidays and I didn't want anything ruined here."

"Ryan, you're not what ruined all those Christmases," Sandy soothed.

"Somehow I don't think my Mom would agree with that," he recalled sarcastically. "But, like you said, she's not here so, I should be trying harder. This is one of those times I just have to trust you guys, isn't it?"

Raising his head Ryan noticed Sandy and Kirsten nodding and it didn't take long for Seth to jump on the bandwagon.

"Ryan, buddy, this is going to be the best Christmas you've ever had. You'll see. Dad? What about that Eggnog?"

"Egg what?"

"Do not even tell me you've never had eggnog," Seth said, more and more baffled every time Ryan opened his mouth to admit to something he'd missed out on during the holidays. "That's truly anti-holiday Ryan. I mean, eggnog can put someone in a festive mood with just one sip."

Entering the room, Sandy brought a tray of glasses filled with eggnog and passed them out. "Here we go."

Taking the glass, Ryan wrinkled his face at the sight of its contents. "What is that brown stuff on the top?"

"Ryan, honey, that's just nutmeg. Eggnog sort of tastes like melted ice cream, it's cold and creamy," Kirsten encouraged.

"Come on Ryan, I've seen some of the stuff you drink," Seth prodded. "This is a piece of cake. Try it."

Cautiously raising his glass to his mouth, Ryan took the smallest sip possible. It wasn't so bad. Tipping his glass a second time he took a generous swig, swallowed and then grimaced.

"Dude, seriously, you don't like it?"

"I don't like the brown stuff."

"Here Ryan, give me your glass, I'll take it out. It's only on the top." Reaching for Ryan's glass, Kirsten mothered him by scooping the nutmeg out. "There you go. Do you like the rest of it though?"

"Yeah, I think I do." Proving he meant what he said, he took another couple of sips before putting his glass down on the table.

"I do believe I see a hint of holiday creeping up on him," Seth joked, sipping from his own glass.

Shooting Seth a look, Ryan was suddenly aware of several wrapped packages around his feet. "Um, what…what are…"

"Those are your presents Ryan," Sandy explained, setting one more package down.

Staring at the pile, Ryan's mouth dropped open.

"Hey Ryan, open this one next, it's from me." With excitement oozing from every pore in his body, Seth walked on his knees around the coffee table to hand Ryan a specific package.

Again Ryan took the time to examine the paper before respectfully tearing it away. Removing the paper revealed a hardbound book about muscle cars. A crooked smile flickered across Ryan's face giving Seth the validation he needed that his gift was appreciated. "I know you like those kind of cars. That book has some neat stuff in it."

"Thanks man." Flashing another lightning fast smile, Ryan focused on the cover of the book.

Ryan didn't realize it at the time, but he'd kicked off the Cohen family Christmas by opening his gifts. One by one, packages were opened and cooed over by every member of the family. Ryan found himself enjoying the evening even though a part of him still kept his guard up. He even laughed when Kirsten got particularly excited over a pair of earrings that Sandy had bought for her.

When all was said and done, Ryan had received several new outfits, a new watch, a new pair of boots and also gym shoes, the new jacket, the muscle car book and a new backpack for school.

"So, Ryan, looks like you cleaned up pretty well," Seth boasted. "How does this compare to Christmas in Chino?"

Snorting a laugh, Ryan bit his lip and shook his head. "Can we not talk about Chino right now?"

"Does…this mean I won the challenge?" Seth gloated again.

"You know, Christmas isn't over Seth. It's not too late for me to break your arms."

"So what do you think Ryan? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Sandy inquired, a tad nervous about Ryan's reply.

"No actually. Wasn't bad at all. But I still feel bad."

"You do? Why?"

Ryan paused, "I didn't get anything for anyone. You guys got me so much stuff…all I've done is drive everyone nuts for the past two weeks."

"That's not true honey," Kirsten mothered again. "You're sitting in front of the Christmas tree and you're ripping presents open and drinking eggnog with us…that means more to us than any gift in the world."

"Here, here!" Sandy toasted, raising his eggnog to meet Seth's glass.

Ryan felt his throat tighten with emotion. He'd never had a Christmas like this…ever. He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Thanks, for everything."

"Any time kid," Sandy smiled.

"You don't have to say anything Ryan. Merry Christmas sweetie." Kirsten stepped forward and embraced Ryan. He hugged her back, looking over her shoulder at the glistening Christmas tree. He finally understood what Christmas was supposed to be like…and then Kirsten pulled away from him suddenly.

"Oh my gosh! I forgot something!"

"What?" Ryan wondered out loud. From where he stood, Christmas was more than complete.

"The stockings! I forgot to pass out the stockings!" Rushing over to the fireplace she removed Seth and Ryan's stockings from the mantel.

"Ryan, dude, this is the best part!" Seth glowed again, rubbing his hands together.

"Seth, here's yours, and Ryan…here's yours."

Ryan couldn't imagine what was in the stocking but at this point he was game to find out. Reaching into the throat of the stocking, he pulled out some chocolates wrapped in toy soldier tin foil. He ran his thumb over the face of the cartoon wrapper and smiled. Reaching back in he pulled out a pack of disposable razors and a small can of shaving cream, three pairs of new socks…"

"Beware Ryan, there is, on occasion, a pair or two of underpants in the bottom of your stocking," Seth warned.

Immediately Ryan pulled his hand out of his stocking and attempted to look inside.

"Alright guys, no worries," Kirsten laughed. "I spared everyone the underwear this year."

"Oh thank God!" Seth mumbled.

Returning to his own stocking, Ryan pulled out some additional chocolates and candies before he reached a small narrow box on the bottom of his stocking. Removing the ribbon and the lid of the box, he discovered a white envelope. Inside the envelope, tickets to the drag races to see the muscle cars.

"I think he likes it," Sandy observed, enjoying seeing Ryan's fascination with the holiday unfold. It wasn't until Sandy spoke that Ryan realized he was smiling. "I do believe we're due for some more eggnog. Ryan, you up for some more, without the brown stuff, of course."

Smiling, "Yeah. Thanks."

Kirsten rustled around tossing all the shredded wrapping paper into a garbage bag. After the floor had been cleaned up, Dawn's two presents for Ryan were revealed, still under the tree. Ryan and Kirsten seemed to zone in on them at the same time. Unsure of what to do, Kirsten waited for Ryan to say something, to do something. Instead he shifted his attention to Sandy who was singing Christmas carols on his way back into the living room with another round of eggnog. Not wanting to pressure Ryan, she let it go. The gifts could wait.

It was around one in the morning when the house was finally returned to some semblance of order and quiet. Putting the finishing touches on clean up in the kitchen, Sandy noticed the light on in the pool house. Knowing it was probably a good idea to check up on Ryan given everything he'd been through that day, Sandy made his way up the steps and through the door.

"Hey, you're up la…"

A smile lit up Sandy's face and he rushed back to the main house where he found Seth and Kirsten both in their pajamas and yawning.

"Come with me, you guys have to see this."

Ushering them both to the pool house, he signaled for them to be quiet and stepped through the door. His grin returned in an instant when Kirsten and Seth started smiling too at the sight before them.

Ryan was laying on his bed, asleep, with Seth's muscle car book opened and laying across his chest. His Christmas stocking lay next to him, with its contents emptied on his bed. Having snacked on several of the toy soldier chocolates, the foil wrappers lay scattered next to the stocking. His other gifts were lined up in an orderly fashion across the bottom of his bed.

A laugh escaped from Kirsten before she could cover her mouth. When Sandy turned to her, her hand was cupping her mouth and she had tears in her eyes.

"That is so cool!" Seth whispered to his parents.

Team Cohen had done it. They'd broken Ryan's walls down, along with ending his string of bad holidays, and he obviously had a very nice Christmas as a result of it. They were going to dine on this for a long time.

Turning off Ryan's lights, Sandy whispered to his family, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

(TBC)…