Hikari-Aoi suggested this, and I thought, "OMG, I have to use this! It's too yummy to wait!" XD And I kinda do need ideas… T.T
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"Hey Riku."
"S-shut up."
"You look a bit chilled."
"S-sh-shut up!"
"Why, I do believe you're turning blue."
"D-d-dammit, Ansem!"
"Mind if I make fun of your stutter?"
"Y-y-yes, I m-mind!"
"Oh. You sure?"
"Q-q-quite certain, th-th-thanks."
"Oh, ick!"
"Y-you j-j-just said 'Ick.'"
"Something dripped on me. Ooo, it went down my shirt! Cold, cold, cold!"
"Ha ha."
"Shut up, you. You can't even talk properly."
"Sh-shut up."
"Ick! It dripped again!"
"S-so m-m-move, you id-d-d-iot." (1)
"Ick! Ick, ick, ick! That is fucking COLD!"
"Id-d-d-iot."
"How would you like to have something cold dripping down your back? Of course, that might make your stutter worse…"
"Ansem, d-d-don't you d-d-dare!"
"Relax, I wasn't gonna do anything. Donkey-porker."
"D-d-don't start th-th-that again!"
"Ick!"
"W-w-would you q-q-quit saying th-that? Y-y-you sound s-s-so stupid."
"Like you don't?"
"S-shut up."
"Hey, who's the idiot in a sleeveless shirt? 'Not I,' said the goat."
"W-w-well, s-s-some of us c-come from a w-w-w-warm place, and d-d-don't have to w-w-wear two or th-th-three layers of c-c-clothing at once."
"Then you should try dressing for the weather according to THIS WORLD, not your little tropical thingy."
"Th-th-this c-c-c-coming f-from the g-g-guy who always h-h-has his ch-ch-chest exposed. Th-th-that m-m-m-makes it sound l-like an insult."
"Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it."
"Sh-shut up."
"Your stutter is getting worse."
"Sh-sh-sh-shut up!"
"How long have we been down here again?"
"I d-d-d-don't know!"
"Don't bite my head off just because you're cold!"
"Oh, j-j-j-just sh-sh-shut up, w-w-will y-you?"
"But seriously, your stutter is getting worse."
"I'm f-f-freezing!"
"I can tell."
"J-j-just be q-q-q-quiet."
-A few hours later-
"Ick!"
"… … …"
"Ick!"
"… … …"
"Ick!"
"S-s-stop it!"
"But it's cold!"
"At-t-t l-l-least say s-s-something else."
"…Like what?"
"I d-d-d-don't know! D-d-damn, I'm f-f-freezing!"
"Ooh! That's bloody cold! …Riku!"
"H-h-hey, you're w-w-warm!"
"Let go of me! You're gonna make me cold!"
"Y-y-y-you're m-m-mean."
"Hmph."
-About an hour, I guess-
"Brr…"
"N-n-now y-you're c-c-cold, h-h-huh?"
"And you're stuttering on every word."
"Grr…"
"Rrrgh, shivers… I hate the cold."
"S-s-s-so w-w-why d-do y-you l-live h-h-here?"
"Hell, I don't know! Because I'm crazy!"
"N-n-now wh-who's b-b-b-biting wh-whose h-h-head off?"
"Cold makes me bad tempered, so shut up!"
"Mmmph… s-s-so c-c-cold… Y-y-you're n-n-not, th-th-though…"
"I'm not sure I like where this is going… Again! What is your problem? Why do you like clinging to me?"
"B-b-because y-y-you're w-w-warm."
"Riku, so help me God…"
"N-n-no! D-d-don't! I'll f-f-freeze t-to d-d-death, or r-r-rattle m-my b-b-brains out m-my ears!"
"Rrgh…"
"P-p-please, Ansem? I'm f-f-freezing!"
"Fine!"
"Hnn… S-s-so s-sleepy…"
"Riku! Riku! Hey! HEY! Don't fall asleep on me!"
"… … … …"
"RIKU! If you fall asleep in the cold, you might never wake up! …Shit. Goddamn you."
"… … … …"
-
Once again, Maleficent returned to find the castle on its ears. She searched high and low, from small spaces to large spaces (but mostly small ones.) She smacked one of the stone gargoyles near the fountain with the head of her staff in frustration, and to her surprise it opened. She blinked and shivered as a blast of cold air hit her square in the face.
With a feeling of trepidation, Maleficent slowly started down the tunnel, hand on the wall. She neared the end of the tunnel and found herself in a small cavern. Looking around, she observed a huddled form against the wall. She walked over to investigate, and discovered it to be, who else, Ansem and Riku. From the looks of things (Riku clinging tightly to Ansem and Ansem holding Riku) Riku had gotten cold, and started clinging to Ansem. Small white clouds forming around their faces from their breath were the only indications they still lived.
Hurriedly, Maleficent called a group of Defender Heartless, and they took the troublesome two to a room. A few hours after the Heartless left, Ansem awoke. He looked around, and saw Riku a few feet away, huddled under several blankets. Ansem shook his head, and pulled the covers up higher over Riku before leaving the room.
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o.o;; Er… um… that didn't turn out quite like I'd intended… more romance than actual humour. Oops. Oh well. Even if it wasn't exactly what I had in mind, I thought the ending was kinda kawaii. O.o;;