Chapter 41

Tifa held open the infirmary doors and let Aaron pass her and go within. The boy quickly spotted his father and ran to his bedside.

"Dad?" Aaron said, wanting some reaction.

Vincent was still sedated and didn't stir.

Aaron looked at his mother who was now next to him. "Mom? Why isn't he awake?"

Tifa motioned toward Vincent's I.V. line. She had noticed the tag on the bag earlier that said that a sedative had been added. "He's getting a medicine that's helping him sleep right now."

"But I want to talk to him," Aaron sighed back, disappointed.

Through the drugs, Vincent actually heard his son's voice and he began to fight his way to consciousness. After a few moments of struggling, he managed to crack open his right eye and look at his boy. "Aaron…"

He spun and faced his father again. "Dad!"

Vincent's mouth twitched into what would have to pass as a smile. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked, reaching out and placing a hand on Vincent's chest.

"Yeah." Vincent managed to lift his right hand and bring it up to cover his son's. "I'm fine."

Aaron examined his dad for several minutes, smiling. Then his eyes caught sight of what was lying on the left side of Vincent's body. He pulled his hand away and ran around to the other side of the bed.

The cybernetic arm that had been attached to Vincent the night before both fascinated and terrified him. He dared to reach out and touch it. "What…what's this? What happened to your arm?"

Vincent let his eye drift back closed. "I lost it. That's what I've got now."

"Oh…" Aaron scowled and looked over across the room, to where Cid was sleeping. "He did this to you, didn't he?"

Vincent forced both of his eyes open. "Aaron, Cid didn't mean to do it. It wasn't really him. It's fine."

"The hell it is." Aaron pulled his hand away from Vincent's arm. "Only bad things happen when Cid's around."

"Aaron!" Tifa crossed her arms over her chest.

Vincent looked up at his wife. "Maybe you should take him back to the room."

She realized that she had to tell Vincent something. "Actually, Aaron asked last night if he could go stay with Jaras for a while and Jaras and I both agreed. That way, we can work on things without him getting caught in the middle."

Vincent's mouth opened like he was going to say something, but then he closed it again. He knit his brow and looked over at his son and then back up at Tifa. "Oh…"

She reached down and took up his right hand. "I honestly think it's the best thing we can do for him right now."

It was a good idea, and Vincent knew it. "All right. How's he getting there?"

"Reno said that Brad could take him today." Tifa offered him a smile.

Vincent nodded as best he was able lying down. He then looked at Aaron. "Will you be happy?"

Aaron turned back to his father, having been glaring at the pilot. "Staying with Jaras?"

"Yes," Vincent said quietly.

Aaron smiled. "Yeah, I think so. Besides, once he has that baby, I won't get to see him that much, I'm guessing."

His son had a point and Vincent agreed. "That's fine. Aaron, everything is going to turn out all right. I want you to know that."

After all that Aaron had suffered at the hands of the adults in his life, he wasn't willing to honestly believe anything that he was told anymore, unless it came from Jaras. He just forced a smile for his father's sake. "Sure, Dad."

Tifa felt that she shouldn't let Aaron remain in the infirmary too long and she looked to him. "Okay, let's go back to the room."

Aaron nodded at her, and then climbed up onto Vincent's bed a little so that he could place a quick kiss upon his father's cheek. "I'll see you later, Dad. I love you."

Vincent smiled in response. "I love you, too, Aaron. Be good for your brother."

"I will." With that, Aaron got back onto the ground and walked around the bed. He took his mother's hand and walked from the room.

As they went back toward the room, they passed Reno, but he completely ignored them. Tifa could see that he'd been crying and wanted to ask him if he was all right, but he didn't give her a chance.

Instead, Reno marched straight to the infirmary and went inside. He spotted Brad and Cid Sr. and went over to them. They looked up to him, wondering what was going on now. Brad thought that perhaps he was about to get into trouble for something else.

"I need to ask you guys a question," Reno said to them, looking terribly uncomfortable.

"What's on your mind, son?" the old man asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Is there any way on God's green Earth that, uh, Cid's related to Vinny?" He couldn't even bring himself to look at the men before him, being too ashamed of such an idiotic question.

Brad looked over at his father. "No way, right?"

Cid Sr. grew thoughtful for a moment. "Junior here was giving me some ridiculous story yesterday about how that Vincent guy over there supposedly knocked up Junior's aunt, Lucy."

Reno began to shake. "Lucy as in short for Lucrecia?"

The elder Highwind nodded. "Yeah."

Brad looked at his father. "No shit?"

"That's what Junior said." Cid Sr. glanced over at his sedated son. "'Course, he coulda just been full of it."

"No, I'm thinkin' that he wasn't." Reno took a few steps away, a smile coming to his lips. "In fact, I've got it on pretty good authority that it's completely legitimate."

This was news to Brad and he still looked at his father. "Dad, you're saying that Sephiroth was…or Jaras is Cid's cousin?"

This caught Reno's attention. "Brad? You're…wait, you're related to this old relic?"

"Hey!" Cid Sr. blurted, resenting being called such a thing.

Brad disregarded this, used to Reno's ways. "Yeah, Cid and I are half brothers."

He switched his gaze between Cid, Brad, and their father, suddenly feeling a little self conscious for not figuring it out on his own. "Small fuckin' world."

"Relic…God damn…" Cid Sr. still wasn't over being insulted.

Feeling the tension from the old man, Reno knew that he needed to get some sort of other conversation going. He locked stares with Brad. "So, hey, you up to flying to Mideel?"

Brad knit his brow. "Why?"

"Mini Vinny needs to go stay with Jaras for a while." He shrugged. "I was hoping we could get him there sooner rather than later."

"Oh," Brad turned to Cid's bed for a moment. "I didn't really want to leave him…"

"It's all right, Bradley." The old man got up from his seat and stretched. "I'll be here with him."

Brad was clearly reluctant to go, but knew that he had to follow orders. "Okay. When do you want me to take off?"

"As soon as you can." Reno turned away. "I've got to go make some calls. I'll see everyone later."

"Okay." Brad looked at his father. "I need to go and check out my bird, then. You make sure that Reno calls me if anything changes."

"Will do. See you later, Bradley." The old man offered him a smile.

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Rude was standing outside the president's office while said man was within, doing something disgusting inside with his mistress. He'd been there since an ungodly early hour and was sick of waiting. Rude's phone went off in his pocket, surprising him and he pulled it out. "Yeah?"

"Hey."

The Turk's eyes went wide behind his darkened lenses, and he scanned up and down the corridor, making sure that there was no one around to hear his conversation. "What's up?"

Reno was sitting at his desk and he leaned back in his chair. "Just calling to see how my favorite Turk alive is hanging."

"Cut the shit." Rude's lips hinted at a smile and he reached up with his free hand to push up his sunglasses.

"You're no fun anymore." Reno stared up at the ceiling. "Look, I need to talk to you about some things, is this a good time?"

The location sucked and was dangerous, but Rude opted to indulge him. He needed some relief from his tedium. "Sure."

"Okay, so it's like this. We got word that Shinra's sitting on a cure for cancer."

Rude tensed his jaw. Being in the position that he was, he'd heard of such a thing during a conversation between the late Dr. Methius and President Harwin. "True."

Having this confirmation made Reno smile. "Cool. We need to get a hold of it."

Rude had been wondering how long it would take for this information to filter down to ASRIO and he had honestly been expecting this call for ages. "Naturally."

"I've got to send some guys in to secure it, and I'm thinking that the Junon facility is the one we should aim for." Reno leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, now feeling hopeful.

Rude drew in a long breath. "Oh, I don't know about that right now, pal. Yeah, that's where what you're looking for is holed up, but…"

"But what?" he asked.

"With all that just took place there, things are kind of tight. They had me send five of my guys there to help shore up things, after your men did whatever in the fuck you did to Peirte Methius. I heard his head was practically ripped off…you wanna explain to me what exactly your guys were doing?"

Reno shuddered to hear that. He'd been told the story of Vincent's rescue by Ericson, and had heard the gruesome details. "Uh, yeah, well, that wasn't one of my guys that did that, it was Vinny."

Rude actually smiled. "Well, good for him. Couldn't have done it to a more deserving fuck. But yeah, that place is tight right now."

"Well, do you have any thoughts?" the ASRIO leader asked.

"Lately, I've been thinking about retirement." Rude leaned back against the wall.

"Retirement?" Reno narrowed his eye.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I'm getting too old for this shit. All I ever do anymore is sit around waiting for the big guy to fuck this or that. There's no more excitement in this anymore. So…I might be willing to help you guys out a little more than usual with this mission."

"But you're my best contact in Shinra! I can't afford to lose you!" Reno was absolutely beside himself.

"Yeah, but I could come and work there with you afterward. It'd be like old times with us on the same team, right?" Rude nearly smiled.

"You saying that you'd come to ASRIO?" Reno's face lit up. The prospect of losing his highest contact in the company was offset by the thought that his best friend could finally be at his side again. "Aw, Rude…that'd be great."

"I think so." Rude straightened back up. "So, let me think about how I can go about helping you guys out with this and I'll be in contact."

Reno didn't get a chance to say anything further as he was hung up on. He set his phone on his desk and laced his hands behind his head as he leaned back. Having Rude with him again was something he'd wanted for ages. "This is gonna be great…"

-----------------------------------

Angel entered the infirmary and checked Vincent and Cid both over before taking them off of their I.V. fluids so that they could come out from under sedation. Once that was done, she looked over at Cid Sr. "Are you going to be here for a while?"

He just nodded.

"Okay. They should start waking up in the next half hour or so. I've got some things to take care of, so I can't stay here, but there's a call button over there and if anything goes wrong, you hit it, all right?"

"Sure thing, Miss." He gave her his trademark Highwind smirk.

"Thanks." With that, she left.

The old man settled into his chair to continue his vigil. He crossed his arms over his chest, grimacing. His stomach had been bothering him since he'd gotten up, although he had no idea why. With no one around to complain, he thought about lighting up and having a cigarette, but he decided against it. There was an unfamiliar tightness in his chest, and he wondered if he was coming down with something.

He had almost managed to fall asleep when he heard Cid's voice.

"What's going on..?"

The elder Highwind got up from his seat and stood over his son's bedside. "Junior, you okay?"

After focusing on his father, Cid nodded slightly. "Yeah, I think so."

"That Angel lady said you were healed up from your surgery last night." He motioned toward Cid's body.

This seemed beyond the pilot's comprehension and he pulled back the sheet covering his body and looked at where he'd been shot and then subsequently cut open. There was no sign of any incision or entry wound upon him, and his eyes went wide. "Holy fuck, check that out…"

"Yeah, that's some stuff, huh?" Cid Sr. smiled.

"I'll say." Cid sat up slowly, still in disbelief over being able to do so already.

"You feelin' all right, though? They gave you somethin' this morning that was supposed to keep you from doin' whatever it was you did to that Vincent fella again." He pointed over across the room.

Cid turned his gaze to his friend. "Oh…"

Cid's father suddenly looked pained and he placed his left hand upon his right upper arm. "Damn it…"

"What's wrong?" Cid grew concerned and looked at the old man.

He forced a smile and let his hand fall back to his side. "Just old, getting pains here and there, nothing big."

Cid could see something in his father's expression that told him not to buy that answer completely, but he wasn't up to arguing with him. "Has anyone said anything about Jin showin' up or calling?"

"I ain't heard nothin'." He went back over and sat in the chair he'd been in.

"Damn it." Cid pulled his legs out from beneath the sheet and threw them over the side of the bed. He looked down at his arm, seeing that he was no longer hooked up to anything. "I need to go call her and see what she's up to."

"You sure you're ready to do that?" Cid Sr. asked.

"Yeah." Cid slid off the bed and stood. His world spun for a moment as there was still some of the sedative in his blood, but things cleared up quickly. Cid took a few steps away from the bed toward the center of the room, but looked down seeing that he was in nothing but a pair of boxers. "Damn it, I guess I can't go running around the base like this."

His father huffed and got up again. "I'll go see if I can find someone to get you something to wear."

"Thanks." Cid remained where he stood as the old man left the room. Once alone, he went over to Vincent's bed.

Vincent's eyes were still closed and he seemed to be sleeping.

Cid leaned toward him. "Sue?"

Vincent didn't do anything.

Desperate to talk to him, Cid reached out and placed his hand on Vincent's chest and jostled him slightly. "Sue, wake up."

Vincent looked flat out annoyed when his eyes finally opened. "What do you want?"

"Are you okay?" Cid asked, still leaning over him.

Vincent reached up with his cybernetic arm and pushed the pilot away. "Personal space…"

"Sorry." He straightened up. "But seriously, are you okay?"

Vincent rolled onto his side, facing away from Cid. "I told you last night that I was."

There was something different in Vincent's behavior than the pilot had gotten used to over the last few years. Vincent seemed to want to shut him out. Cid wasn't going to let that happen. "Come on, Sunshine."

"I'm tired, go away." Vincent curled up a little, pulling the sheet around him tighter.

"Damn it," Cid huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're pissed at me."

"It wasn't you, Cid."

"Yeah, sorta it was. You told me to keep calm and not let anything get to me that would cause me to snap like that, and I still did." He hung his head. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" Vincent turned his head and looked back at Cid. "That's all I've heard from you since you showed up at the house when I was supposed to come here to help get Jaras. 'I'm so fuckin' sorry, Sue'," he said back, doing his half-assed impersonation of Cid's tone.

Cid knit his brow. "See, you are pissed at me."

Vincent sat up and looked him square on. "Shouldn't I be?"

"Yeah, you should." Cid moved to sit on the edge of Vincent's bed. "I mean, when you first found out about what I did with Tifa, you got mad and tried to kill me. That's what I expected, then you started this 'Oh…well, I'm upset, but I'm gonna try and swallow it' routine. That's not good for you. Let it the fuck out. I interfered with your marriage, and now I tore off your arm. Get mad and let it out, Vince. Don't pull this sulky, 'leave me alone' bullshit."

Vincent sighed and frowned. "We're going to keep talking about what happened with Tifa and you, and that's the last thing I want to think about. I'm trying to save my marriage, I don't need the fact that she was with you thrown in my face every time you try and get serious with me. I don't want to talk about anything. Just…give me my space."

"I'm not givin' you anything until I know where I stand with you." Cid crossed his arms over his chest. "When you got me to the train station, we seemed all right, and the fact that you came out here after I called you about this demon thing, well hell, I figured we were all right then, too."

"Yeah well, don't just expect me to get over losing my arm instantly. We are okay, Cid. We're friends, there, does that make you feel better? Huh?" Vincent narrowed his eyes. "Maybe my being in an unpleasant mood doesn't have anything to do with you. Did you ever think of that? Not everything is about you, Cid. You turn everything back around to yourself, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it and don't really need it at the moment."

Cid opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"Don't you think you'd be just a little down maybe if your arm was removed? Oh sure, I'm an old pro at that, though, right? I mean, nothing new for Vincent Valentine…" He hung his head and turned away from the other man. "Nothing new at all…"

Cid reached out and placed his hands on Vincent's shoulders. "Come on, Sue…"

Vincent drew in a long breath and then sat up straight. "I…I'm going home. I'm not doing this anymore. I just want to go home and get my life back together."

"But…" Cid wasn't willing to be left alone without Vincent or Tifa in the base, since Jin hadn't arrived or even called.

"You're afraid to be alone, I can appreciate that." Vincent slid from the bed and stood, before turning to his friend. "If I thought I could stand being here…well I would stay, but I've got a new baby and I know things would just be easier for Tifa and I if we were at home."

Cid scowled. "I ain't alone. Even if Jin isn't here, I've still got Brad and the old man."

"Good." Vincent looked down, seeing that he was just in a pair of boxers, not unlike Cid. However, whereas Cid wasn't willing to walk out of the infirmary in just those, Vincent didn't care. He strode from the infirmary and back to the room he and Tifa had shared.

He threw open the door, spotting Tifa sitting on the couch nursing Charlotte. He looked around, searching for Aaron, but didn't see him. "Did he already leave?"

Tifa smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah, he just left a little while ago."

"Oh." Vincent was disappointed. He shut the door behind him and went over, landing next to Tifa on the couch. "How's Charlotte doing?"

Having just finished feeding her, Tifa held her over to him. "She's great. Hold her."

He suddenly looked pained and stared down at his left arm for a moment.

She saw him do this. "Don't worry about it. L.C. didn't care when he was a baby and you held him with two arms like that, so you can figure that Charlotte's not going to mind, either."

Vincent couldn't help but smile as he thought about the pilot's son as an infant. L.C. had been the first baby he'd ever held. Thusly reassured, he took the baby girl and held her close.

Tifa got up from the couch and looked down at them. "We're going to make it, right?"

He looked up and met her gaze. "We have to, for her and Aaron."

"Vincent, I still love you." She remained where she was before him.

His smile returned. "And I you. I never stopped loving you."

Tifa felt tears well up in her eyes and she dropped to her knees before him. The Vincent that she had originally fallen in love with may have been missing for much of the last six years, but here he was now. "I'm glad that you came back."

Somehow, he knew that this had more than one meaning to it. He glanced down at Charlotte and saw that she was asleep. Carefully, he got up and took her over to the portable crib set up in the room. He lowered her into it and then turned to Tifa. "I'm going to get cleaned up, and then we're going out."

Tifa's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes." Vincent felt that there was something that he had to do. He walked toward the bathroom and went inside. After getting the shower running, he pulled off his boxers and stepped beneath the water.

After a few moments of hesitation, Tifa followed him. She shed her clothing and then opened the shower door a small way. "Room for me?"

Vincent nodded and stepped to the side.

Tifa entered and winced as the water first hit her. Vincent always tended to run it too hot for her. When she looked at him, she saw that he was staring back at her, a faint smile upon his lips. "What?"

Vincent shrugged. "Nothing."

Not able to help herself, Tifa threw her arms around him, no longer giving any attention to the water that ran over her. "Vincent…"

He closed his eyes and held her tightly. "Yes?"

"If you're very careful, you can," she said quietly.

Vincent brought her out to arm's length. "Tifa, it's not been long enough…"

"I'm not nearly as hurt as I was after having Aaron, Vincent. I can handle it." Tifa looked into his eyes, wanting him to know how sincere she was.

Already aroused by the prospect, Vincent found it difficult to argue with her. If she seemed willing to throw the customary six weeks post partum rule out the window, he wasn't certain that he was in a position to disagree. "Tifa… I can't risk hurting you."

"If it hurts, I'll tell you."

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. In a way, Vincent knew that he needed to see if he could even complete the act with her anymore after having seen her with Cid. Vincent took her into his arms and let his lips meet hers.

Tifa made a relieved sound against his mouth, having been afraid that he would turn her down. Even though she had just told him that she didn't think it would hurt, she knew good and well that it was going to, but still, she was willing. After all that she'd put him through, Tifa felt that she owed it to him. Slowly, she turned in his embrace and then leaned forward, supporting herself against the wall of the shower.

With Tifa offering herself up as she was, the last of Vincent's resistance faltered. He pressed against her back, and allowed his right hand to trail downward, gently testing her.

At the intrusion of his fingers, Tifa tensed her jaw. There was no way around it, it hurt, but it wasn't unbearable. "Just go ahead, Vincent."

Although he clearly heard the trepidation in her voice, he shoved it aside. She was asking for this and he was going to try. He cautiously drove into her, feeling her body react as he did so, indicating that it was painful. "Tifa, are you all right?"

I deserve to be hurt, don't stop, she thought as she closed her eyes, coping with the sensation of Vincent being within her. "Yeah, go ahead."

"You don't sound all right."

"Damn it…" There were tears in her eyes, although they were hidden from him thanks to their positions. "It's okay."

Vincent put his arms around her waist, not daring to move inside of her. He put his lips close to her ear. "Why do you want me to do this if it hurts you?"

Silent tears were now marking her cheeks in wide tracks. "Vincent…"

He closed his eyes and sighed, before easing his way out of her. "I can't, Tifa."

She spun to face him. "But…"

"I will not intentionally harm you."

Tifa smiled. She had the answer. "Chaos isn't talking to you?"

Vincent shook his head. "No."

"He wouldn't have let you quit."

"I am aware of that." Vincent placed his arms around her and pulled her to him. "Was that your purpose? To test me?"

"No." Tifa closed her eyes and placed her head against his chest. "I wanted you to do it, thinking that if nothing else, I deserved…"

"You honestly feel that you deserve to be hurt?"

The tears still fell from her eyes. "After what I did to you, yes."

Vincent smiled, and tightened his grip around her. "You never deserve to be physically hurt, Tifa. Don't ever think that, and that's not something that I would ever want to do. I know I've hurt you in the past but it was Chaos. It was always Chaos. You and I…we've never honestly been alone except for the first few weeks after I received my anti-Chaos injections six years ago."

"That seems so strange. I thought for all these years that he was gone when the whole time…" Tifa sighed.

"I know." Vincent had possessed a certain intention in wanting to take her outside of the base, and he still wanted to get to it. "Let's just finish our shower and then go, all right?"

She stepped back from him. "Don't you want me to uh, you know, do something for you?"

Honestly, his arousal had gone by the wayside once he'd seen how much he was hurting Tifa. "No, not right now, I'm fine. Maybe we can try something tonight."

"Okay." Tifa smiled at him and then reached over and picked up the soap. "Let's get to it, then."

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Cid's father had managed to get a hold of a shirt and some jeans that he could fit into and thusly dressed, he'd left the infirmary. Now, he and the old man were sitting in his room on the couch there.

Cid found himself staring at the phone, wanting Jin to call desperately before he broke down and called her. He was unhappily concerned that she hadn't tired to get any word to or from him since he'd left the day before.

"Junior, quit tryin' to work the fuckin' phone with your mind and just call her already." Cid Sr. was getting tired of watching his son sit there, occasionally sighing heavily as he awaited something.

He looked over at his father. "Can I have some privacy for a minute?"

"Sure." The elder Highwind got up from the couch. "I'm gonna go outside for a while. I'm…"

"You're what?" Cid asked.

"I'm just feeling stifled, that's all. Maybe gettin' some fresh air will help me out." He started for the door.

"Okay, I'll come get you when I'm done and we can head into town and get something to eat." Cid finally picked up the phone.

"Fine." He made his way to the door and exited.

After steeling himself, Cid dialed Jin's cell number.

She answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

He found it hard to reply right away. "Oh…hey, uh, hi Jin."

There was a silence on her end for several seconds. "Cid?"

"Hey." Cid closed his eyes. "I'm sorry for runnin' out on you like that yesterday."

The door to the room opened and she stepped in, tossing her cell phone over onto the bed. "You know, if you'd just waited about thirty seconds, you could have saved us that cell call."

Cid launched himself from the couch and took her into his arms. "God damn it, Jin, I'm real fuckin' glad you're here."

She smiled. "I had to come to be with you. I wasn't going to let you go through this alone."

He stepped back from her for a moment. "Where's L.C.?"

"I left him at Jimmy's house." Jin looked around the room. "I figured that if things might be dangerous, that I should leave him there."

"Good thinking." Cid locked into her gaze.

Jin's eyes went wide. "Oh my God…you said in the note that there was a change in your eyes, but…"

He kept looking straight at her, knowing that she needed a good view of them. They were, after all, pretty fascinating. "Freaky, huh?"

"Actually," Jin came forward and placed her hands on the sides of his face, "they're kinda…pretty. I was worried they were gonna be that same creepy red color as Sue's."

"Yeah, that would have been worse, huh?" Cid smiled at her. "But they gave me something this morning I guess that's supposed to keep it under control. I need to get it every day, though."

"Every day?" Jin didn't like to hear that. "But Vincent can go years between rounds of treatment!"

"I know, but what I've got, I guess, is a little different." Cid finally looked away as he led her to the couch.

"Have…have you seen it?" she asked, sitting down.

He landed beside her. "Well, I didn't see myself so much, but some other people did."

"You changed?" Her eyes went wide.

"Yeah."

"Christ alive, Cid!" She drew her hands up to her mouth.

"I know." He shook his head. "I freaked out, turned into some monster thing, tore off poor Sue's left arm, and then got shot by Reno three times and then had to have surgery to put me back together."

"What? Why in the hell are you in here in your room?" She was shocked. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"

"Naw, I healed completely from my injuries already." Cid shrugged. "I guess it's not all bad. One good side effect, anyway."

Jin didn't know what else to do other than lean toward Cid and kiss him.

A/N-- Updates on this come as fast as I can manage. The more inspired I am, the faster they get written. Reviews inspire me, or at least make me feel like y'all care : )