Chapter 42
"So, where's your dad?" Jin asked, as she and Cid sat nestled together on the couch.
"He went up for some air." Cid shrugged. "I don't think he's feeling very good today."
"And have you and he been talking?" She nuzzled into the side of his neck.
Cid caught his breath as a shiver was sent through him from what Jin's tongue was doing below his ear. "Oh, uh, yeah, we have. I found out some things that made me change my take on him."
"That's great."
"Jin, I found out that Brad's my half-brother." Cid closed his eyes as his wife continued to tease the skin of his neck.
She quickly sat back. "What?"
"Yeah, the old man's his dad, too." Cid offered her a smile.
"…and you just found out? Did Brad know?" Jin knit her brow.
"Brad knew all along, but I was completely in the dark. He said he never told me that he was my half-brother because he somehow thought that it would effect our friendship." Cid placed his hand on Jin's leg. "But, it's all out there now."
"So, you're feeling completely fine after all you've been though?" Jin leaned closer to him again.
Cid smiled to himself, knowing what was on her mind. After all, it was their usual way of coping with stressful situations. "Completely all right."
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Vincent had dressed in some of the clothes he had abandoned here after fleeing the base some time before. He made an effort to try and look nice, even going so far as to tie his hair back neatly.
Tifa emerged from the bathroom after getting her makeup on and she froze upon seeing Vincent. It had been a long time since she'd seen him cleaned up so well and actually looking as though he took some pride in his appearance.
Vincent felt her stare and turned to look at her. "Is something wrong?"
She was unable to suppress her smile. "No, nothing at all."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "I see. In any event, I asked Porter and Rayna if they would be game to watch Charlotte while we went out, and they said yes."
"Oh," her expression changed to one of hesitation. "We're leaving her?"
"It won't be long, Tifa." Vincent walked over to her and placed a hand upon her shoulder. "I just want to have a little while with you, alone. There are some things that I need to say to you, and I'd rather not have any distractions."
Tifa felt her heart rate jump. She had no idea what was on Vincent's mind, but he seemed very serious. Although she knew that she could trust their elected babysitters without worry, like any mother, she was reluctant to leave her infant for more than a few minutes. However, whatever was going on seemed important to Vincent, and she would indulge him. "Okay, whatever you like."
The fact that she was being so completely subservient to him seemed strange to Vincent. Over the last several years, anything he said had become a challenge for Tifa to defy. He realized that he had gotten her attention and that she was positively terrified that he was going to leave her. "Let's go."
They walked down the hall and to Rayna and Porter's room. Vincent knocked on the door and Rayna quickly answered. "Hi."
Tifa stepped forward and handed the baby over to the other woman. "Hey, Rayna. Thanks for watching her for us."
"I'm glad to do it." She held the baby close to her chest. "It's just practice in case someday Porter and I actually manage to have one."
Vincent bent forward and placed the diaper bag at Rayna's feet. "Are the two of you trying?"
"We're going to start undergoing some infertility treatments next week." Rayna smiled hopefully. "We were told that there was a way to possibly overcome what has prevented us from having kids thus far."
Tifa nodded. Having been unaware of such problems with Rayna and Porter, she felt sorry for them. "I really hope that works out for you."
Rayna frowned a little. "So do I."
Vincent looked over and took Tifa's hand. "We need to go. Again, we thank you."
"No problem." Rayna gave them one last smile before they turned and walked off.
Vincent never let go of Tifa's hand as he led her silently from the base. Tifa didn't dare speak, being afraid, in part, of what Vincent was up to. As they went, she would chance the occasional glance over at him, but Vincent never looked back. His gaze was fixed on the ground before them, his face betraying no expression.
Eventually, they ended up in front of one of the nicer restaurants in town and went in. They were quickly given a table. When the waitress came over to take their orders, Tifa made her request and then waited for Vincent to do the same.
He leaned back in his seat and thought for a moment. "Wutain tempura."
"And to drink?" the waitress asked.
Tifa held her breath. It had been a long time since Vincent had ordered a drink when they were out that wasn't alcoholic. She braced to see if he really was going to try and be different or not.
Vincent locked gazes with his wife and smiled faintly. "Iced tea."
Tifa couldn't help but sigh in her relief.
He knew what was on her mind. "I have no reason to drink anymore, Tifa."
She didn't honestly know what to say in response to that and just looked back at him.
"I'm beyond that now. I know what was wrong with me and why I failed you so badly." Vincent didn't waver in his stare. "Even if they aren't ever able to completely remove Chaos from within me, I'll see to it that I take the anti-Chaos drug whenever I so much as think I hear him in my mind. I won't let him influence me anymore."
"Okay." Tifa folded her hands upon the table before her.
"And I have something to confess to you."
She tensed her jaw and braced for whatever he was going to say.
"While I was on the ferium, I went out one night. As I sat in a bar, I was approached by a woman." Vincent kept his voice quiet in his shame.
She just nodded, her hands suddenly feeling cold.
"As it turns out, she was a prostitute." His cheeks gained a slight bit of color, but he never broke eye contact. "Having figured that our marriage was over after having seen you with Cid, I went ahead and hired her."
Tifa gasped. Never would she have imagined Vincent doing such a thing. Then again, he said he had been on the ferium, and while on that he'd done many bad things. "Oh…"
"She took me to her room." Vincent bit his lower lip for a moment, seeing the pained look that washed over his wife. "I intended to give in, but as luck would have it, there's a side effect of ferium that I was wholly unaware of. I wasn't able to do anything with her in the least, as the drug made me…ineffectual."
"So…you didn't do anything?" Tifa asked, hoping that she'd just heard him right.
"No, I ultimately did nothing with her." Vincent's shame finally forced him to look away. "However, it had been my intent or at least, it had been Chaos' intent. He drove me to do it. More or less, he had complete control of me while I was on that drug."
Although it hurt to hear that he had almost done something with a common whore, he hadn't and when push came to shove, Tifa knew she had no room to speak. Her shoulders slumped as she accepted what Vincent had said. It was something she could live with. "That's all right, Vincent."
"Our marriage was never really ours," Vincent sighed. "It was always you, myself, and Chaos."
"Yeah." Tifa produced an unconscious smile. "Damn Chaos… And then I basically pulled Cid into it, too."
Vincent reached across the table and took her hand. He carefully slid her wedding ring from her left ring finger. "In light of all that, I almost feel as though we were never honestly wed."
Tifa knit her brow. Is he saying that we're not married anymore? she wondered, filling with dread. The color drained from her face as she watched him consider her gold band as he held it between his fingers.
Vincent turned his gaze to meet hers again and saw this, but his emotionless expression didn't break. He got up from his seat and went and knelt beside her chair and then took her hand back into his right one. "Tifa, I want to do it again, and this time, I want to do it right."
Poor Tifa was terribly confused now. She was lost. "Huh?"
"Tifa," his eyes finally betrayed some feeling, "I want us to get married again, but this time, it will be just us. I want to start over. That's how it has to be. Either we start over again with a clean slate, or we end it here and now." Vincent felt a burn in his eyes and his voice wavered. Although he hadn't let on, he was just as scared as Tifa was. "Will you marry me?"
Seeing the fear in him broke her heart. Tifa threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Of course I will, Vincent. I always loved you…despite it all, I always loved you…"
He placed his arms around her in return and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry for everything…"
Tifa sat back and placed her hands on the sides of his face. "It wasn't your fault, Vincent. It was Chaos. We know that now."
Vincent held up her wedding ring between them. "I'm going to hold onto this until we make it official."
Tifa nodded and then looked around, seeing that the restaurant's other patrons were staring. She blushed immediately. "Everyone's looking."
Vincent stood back up as he slipped her ring into his pocket. He made his way back around the table and sat in his seat. "I've gotten rather accustomed to being stared at in places such as this. Ask Cid sometime."
Tifa cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?"
Vincent grinned widely as he looked over at her. "When I took him to the train station to get back here, we were in a diner. He had been messing with me that morning, so I retaliated."
"What did you do?" she asked, resting her elbows upon the table and leaning forward.
He laughed quietly. "As we sat there, I told him that I had something that I needed to tell him, as the conversation had gotten serious."
"Right…" Tifa narrowed her eyes, seeing that Vincent looked pleased with himself.
"I proceeded to tell Cid that I had been in love with him for years." He shook his head. "You should have seen his reaction."
"So, he honestly thought you were serious?" Tifa couldn't help but smile.
"Yes, and he flipped out and made a big scene." Vincent laughed again as the memory played itself out.
"You're lucky he didn't just kill you!" She was amazed that Vincent would dare to joke in such a way.
"I suppose, but I acted like his negative reaction tore me apart and I stood up in front of all the people that were there and behaved as though I was devastated." He dropped his gaze to the table. "Cid didn't know what to do. I've never seen him that freaked out before. It was well worth the public humiliation, I assure you."
"I never would have imagined you would do something like that, Vincent." Tifa's smile widened.
"Neither would I, but he had it coming." Vincent leaned back as the waitress placed their drinks upon the table.
"You saved his life…when he told me that, Vincent, I…I knew that the real you had honestly returned." Tifa reached across the table and grabbed his right hand. "I will be forever grateful for that. Besides, in doing that, he was here to basically tell Reno where to find you, so, he saved you, too."
"He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone where I was." Vincent knit his brow and frowned. "He swore to me that he didn't, too."
"Well, you know as well as I do that he must have said something to Reno so that he knew where to find you." She tightened the grip she had on his hand.
"So I figured." Vincent looked at where their hands met upon the table. The thought of the last time they had sat like this together ripped through him, and his expression reflected it.
Tifa saw his mood change. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head. "I'm sorry for some of the things that I said after I found out…"
"No, it's all right. I screwed up… I deserved everything that I got." Tifa had tears in her own eyes now. "I don't even deserve your forgiveness and yet, you seem willing to do just that to me and Cid."
"As I told Cid, neither of you did it with the intention of hurting me, so forgiveness is easy. After what I put you through, I can understand the first time." Vincent sighed heavily. "And then after you thought I was dead… well, I was supposed to be dead, right?"
Tifa wiped her cheeks dry with the back of her free hand. "God, Vincent, when Reno showed up that night with your gun and cloak… Before he even said anything, I knew and I… It was the worst moment of my entire life."
"I'm sorry." Vincent narrowed his eyes. "And I'm sorry for what all of this has done to our son."
"I know. I've been thinking about that a lot lately." She frowned. "I'm the worst mother on record for the emotional roller coaster I put him on when we were told you were dead."
"I know this will sound wrong, but in a way, it's good that all of this happened." He met her gaze again. "Because if it hadn't, we might have kept on the way we were going, and that was messing him up. Now, we have this chance to set things right."
"Right." Tifa gave him a smile. "Like you said, a clean slate."
The food was brought shortly thereafter and they ate in silence. Once they were done, Vincent pulled out enough money to cover the bill and threw it on the table. He took Tifa's hand within his right, and they left.
As they walked, Tifa spoke up. "Hey, if you're holding onto my wedding ring, where's yours?"
Vincent grimaced and quit walking. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a small plastic bag. "They retrieved it off of my arm, but I haven't gotten to clean it yet."
Tifa took the small bag from him and saw that his blood stained ring was within. "Oh… Vincent, are you okay about, you know, losing your arm?"
He raised his left hand up and examined it for a moment. "There's piteously little that I can do about it at this point."
"I can't believe that happened to you." Tifa placed his ring in her pocket and then took hold of his left hand.
"I was simply fortunate to have escaped with my life." He produced a smile. "I can live with this."
His resilience amazed her. "So, we're staying here until you finish your course of treatments, right?"
"I have some of the drug at home, I can finish my own treatments. I want us to get back as quickly as possible." Vincent looked into her eyes.
"Okay, Cid will be all right now that they have something to help him out and hopefully, Jin will show up sooner or later to be with him." Although she wasn't thrilled with the idea of Vincent administering his own doses, Tifa knew better than to argue with him about it.
"Hopefully." Vincent's eyes narrowed in thought again. "Tifa, do you love him?"
She hadn't been expecting that question, and she felt her face go red.
"It's fine if you do, Tifa. Just be honest." Vincent searched her for the answer.
"I…yeah, in a way, but not like I do you." Tifa was ashamed to admit that she did care for the pilot, but since it was the truth, then she wouldn't deny it.
"That's fine. I know he cares an awful lot about you, too." Vincent started walking, letting her reply slide off his back.
She looked at him as they went. "Like I said though, it's not like I love you. Want to know the truth?"
Vincent turned his head toward her. "What's that?"
"We were fighting within a day." Tifa shook her head and looked down at the ground. "He's great as a friend, but to live with…to be with, God, he's a pain in the ass."
"You came to your senses." Vincent's tone indicated that he was only partially joking.
Tifa laughed to herself. "You could say that. I don't know how Jin puts up with it."
"Because she's just like him." Vincent let go of her hand and draped his arm around her shoulders.
"That's true, and I'm lucky she didn't hurt me." Tifa smiled to herself.
"I'm sure you could take her in a fight." He jostled her, causing her to sway.
Tifa raised her eyebrows. "I don't know, have you seen her in a tank top? She's got some serious guns on her…she's a monster."
Vincent laughed to himself. "You're the best hand to hand fighter I've ever seen. I still think you could take her."
"I haven't fought in ages, Vincent." She giggled. "Besides, I just had a baby, I'm in horrible shape."
"I think your shape is just fine." Vincent kissed her on the cheek, not stopping walking.
Tifa looked at him again. Things hadn't been this relaxed between the two of them in ages. It felt incredibly good. "Vincent?"
"Yes?" His eyes were once more trained upon the ground.
"I missed this."
"So did I." Vincent smiled. "So did I, Tifa."
They eventually found their way back to the ASRIO base and went within. They retrieved Charlotte and retreated to their room.
Tifa nursed the baby and then placed her into the crib. That done, she turned to face Vincent as he sat on the couch, staring blankly at the television. "Do you think Aaron's all right?"
He snapped out of his state and looked over at her. "I'm sure he's fine. I bet he's sitting right in the cockpit with Brad watching the scenery go by."
"Yeah, luckily he has no fear of flying, huh?" Tifa went over and stood before Vincent. "Unlike his father."
"No, all of the flights he made with L.C. and Cid have done him good." He looked up at her and gave a smile.
Slowly, she knelt before him and placed her hands upon his knees. "So…about taking care of you…"
He simply cocked an eyebrow.
"First, though," she reached up and behind him, untying his hair so that it fell freely, "there, that's better."
"I thought I looked better with it back," Vincent said, sounding completely serious.
Tifa shook her head and let her hands slowly trail down his chest. "No, it's better like that. That's the point of having great hair like that, right?"
Vincent's reply caught in his throat as he stared down, seeing Tifa unbuckling his belt.
She smiled upon seeing his expression. This was something that she hadn't actually done that frequently for him, although she knew he, like all men, enjoyed it. Within a few short seconds, she had his pants undone and was slipping her hand beneath his boxers. As she had expected, he was already aroused by the time she touched him. "I'm glad that the physical effects of the ferium were only temporary."
Vincent managed to produce a strained sounding laugh. "Yeah…"
Tifa gave him one more smile before lowering herself down and taking him into her mouth.
Not having had any sort of release since leaving before the mission to get Jaras, it didn't take Vincent very long to be driven over the edge. Right before it happened, he gently tried to get Tifa to back off, knowing that she didn't ever let him go all the way like this. She resisted, however, determined to satisfy him this way for once.
Vincent cried out quietly and then relaxed into the cushions of the couch. He was surprised that Tifa had done this for him, and even more shocked when he realized that she wasn't running off to spit anything out.
She saw his amazed and pleased expression and moved to sit beside him on the couch. "Feeling better now?"
He just gave her a dumbfounded nod.
"Good." Tifa nuzzled into his side and closed her eyes.
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Cid and Jin had been lying on the bed in their room for a while before he finally became restless and got up. He dressed quietly, not wanting to wake Jin who had been up the entire night before while traveling to the base. Once that was done, he slipped from the room, wanting to track down his father. It had been long enough that he figured his old man was probably back inside and he began to search for him.
After combing the base, he found Cid Sr. nowhere and so went outside. He saw his father's airplane still sitting on the tarmac where it had been left and he went over to it. The door on the side of it was open and Cid looked in.
Cid Sr. was just sitting there within, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips. "Hey, Junior."
He climbed inside and sat opposite to the old man. "What are you doing?"
"Dunno." He looked around the plane. "Just have this weird feeling and I felt more comfortable in here for whatever reason."
Cid considered his father for a moment. "Dad, you don't look too good."
"Just tired, Junior." He pulled the cigarette from his lips and extinguished it on the metal armrest of his seat before allowing it to fall to the floor. "I'm God damn tired."
"Jin arrived a little while ago." Cid leaned back in his seat.
"So you'll have her here with you, then?"
The pilot nodded. "Yeah."
"Good, as long as you're not alone." Cid Sr. ran a hand though his hair. He was starting to feel smothered again.
"Well, you're here, too." He locked gazes with his father, seeing something change in the old man's countenance.
"Right." He felt a sweat break on his skin. "I can't fuckin' breathe… All damn day long."
"I'd feel a whole hell of a lot better if you'd come back into the base and let someone check you out." Cid was honestly growing concerned over his father's state.
"I hate God damned doctors, you know that." He leaned forward in his seat. "I'm not gonna be some guinea pig."
Cid knew that it was like trying to talk to a brick wall. "So what, are you just goin' to sit in here all day then?"
The old man got up. "No, I'm goin' outside."
Cid followed his dad out onto the tarmac. Suddenly, the old man wavered and began to go down. Quickly, Cid stepped forward and caught his father in his arms.
"Dad!" He saw the ghastly color of Cid Sr.'s complexion.
The elder Highwind looked into his son's eyes. "Junior…"
Cid looked around, spotting some ASRIO agents close to the base entrance having a smoke break. "Hey! Someone go get some help!"
"It's okay, Junior…" His legs went out from beneath him completely and he pulled Cid to the ground with him.
"Dad!" Now Cid was panicking. Knowing that time was of the essence, he opted not to just wait for someone to get assistance. He hefted his father into his arms and started toward the base door. Cid kicked it open and went as quickly as he could to the infirmary, but it was completely empty.
He placed his father upon a bed. "Come on, Dad, hang in there. They'll get someone to help you real quick."
"No…" His world was starting to spin and there was a blackness encroaching upon the edge of his vision. "It's all right, Junior. I'll be with Joanna…"
Cid felt tears in his eyes. "No! Fight it!"
"Calm the fuck down, Junior." He produced a weak smile as the tightness in his chest continued to worsen. "Didn't expect me to live forever, did you?"
Cid reached over and hit the emergency button on the wall hard enough to break it, but an alarm began to blare nonetheless. "Where the fuck is everyone?'
"Junior…"
He looked down, seeing that the look in his father's eyes was beginning to grow distant. Not knowing what else to do, he reached down and embraced the old man. "Dad…"
There was no further response, and Cid Sr.'s body soon went completely limp. Cid didn't need to let go of his father and look upon him to know that the worst had happened-- he already knew. He began to cry, still holding onto his lifeless father, not particularly caring about such a display of emotion since there was no one in the room to see.
A few minutes later, Angel and Kyle both came running in. They spotted Cid and hurried over to him.
"What happened?" Angel asked, motioning for Kyle to retrieve the crash cart.
Cid let his father slide from his arms and he straightened up. "He just…"
Angel reached down and felt the old man's wrist-- there was no pulse. "Kyle! Hurry!"
The male nurse got the cart over and flipped on the defibrillator. He handed the electrodes over to Angel.
She locked gazes with Cid. "Step back, I'm going to shock him."
Cid shook his head and placed his hand upon his father's chest. "No."
"We might be able to--" Angel was desperate to do something, but Cid cut her off.
"It's too damn late, even I know that." Cid stared down. "He…he wouldn't want you to, anyway."
"Damn Janice for not being here!" Angel slammed the electrodes to the defibrillator unit back down where they belonged.
Since Cid had been sedated during all the drama of the morning, he had been unaware that Dr. Arlin was gone. "Where is she? Is that why it took fuckin' forever for someone to show up?"
"She quit, and in short, yes." Angel was livid and sick over what had just happened. "I'm really sorry, Cid."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "…it's not your fault."
Angel moved around to the side of the bed that Cid was standing at. She placed a hand upon his shoulder. "Do…do you want to be alone for a little while?"
Without opening his eyes, he replied. "Yeah…and go to my room and get Jin…"
"Okay." Angel waved at Kyle for him to leave as well and they departed the room.
Once alone, Cid let the tears come again. "God damn it, Dad…"
Cid was heartbroken. The irony of finally reconciling with his father after a lifetime of estrangement only to lose him this quickly to death hurt deeply. "I fuckin' wasted all these years… I'm sorry."
Jin came through the doors a short while later. "Cid?"
He glanced back over his shoulder, seeing her there. "Jin…"
Slowly, she went over to him. Cid placed his arm around her shoulders once she was at his side.
Jin looked at Cid Sr.'s body, feeling a sting in her eyes. "He…he just went? Just like that?"
Cid drew in a jagged breath as he tried to gather together some of his composure. "He wasn't feeling well all day, and then we were just outside and he went down. I brought him down here, but there wasn't anyone around to do anything. By the time Angel was able to show up, he was already gone. She wanted to try and resuscitate him, but I refused. I know he wouldn't have wanted that."
"I'm so sorry, Cid." Jin reached out and touched one of the dead man's hands. "At least you got to spend these last few days with him."
"Yeah. Makes me sort of wonder if somehow he knew." Cid thought about what his father had said just before they'd gotten out of the plane. "In fact, I know he knew."
Jin turned until she could take her husband into her arms. Seeing Cid cry was tearing her apart and she held him there like that for a long time.
No one dared to disturb them.
A/N-- Well, sorry, I feel like crap for ending this chapter like that…but it's late now and that's where I'm stopping for tonight. The beginning to this chapter was hopelessly mushy, and then I kill a guy. What a day's work…