Disclaimer: this gets a little annoying after doing it over n over…..oh well, I own nothing, and I doubt I ever will.
Everyone sitting at the large Potter kitchen table quietly watched Lily's exit, none knowing what to do or say. She didn't care though; she barely cared about anything anymore. After what had happened…she wasn't sure she could ever think or feel ever again. It was rather odd, after spending a whole week doing nothing but crying, it seemed that she was finally all cried out. The pain that seemed able to explode her heart only a few days ago was now numbed out…so was everything else. It seemed like it was her body's sick twisted way to deal with all that happened…but if anything, Lily loved the pain better than this horrible feeling of emptiness.
Walking up to her bed, or the one the Potters had given her when Dumbledore decided their house was the best place Lily could spend the rest of her Christmas vacation at. Lily didn't care much though, the Potters were certainly trying their hardest to cheer her up, but everything was nothing more than a gray blur to Lily these days. Her parents were now worst then dead, something she barely understood and that fact made it all a thousand times worst. Then there was Petunia…her only sister who hated her, the girl she had stripped away from her parents…Lily doubted she'd ever forget the hate in those gray eyes.
Shivering slightly, Lily pulled the covers over her body, staring at the blazing fire in the elegant fireplace in front of the bed. Still numb, she didn't hear as Sirius walked into her room, without so much as knock, at least not until he sat on the bed at her feet. She wanted nothing more than to ignore him…but as he just sat there without saying so much as a word she became anxious.
"Can't you knock," she said in a quiet cold voice, yet he grinned at her shaking his head.
"Nope. It wasn't exactly a requirement where I grew up," Lily wasn't exactly amused, things tended to roll off of her very easily these days…but this was the first time someone had talked to her like this. As if she was just another buddy…not the girl who had just lost both her parents. Yet it wasn't nearly enough to make her smile.
"What do you want Black?" she asked him her voice not so quiet so cold, yet far from soft. Sirius didn't say anything, instead he began studding her face, making her feel as though she wanted to kick herself. He was checking to see if she was ok…probably pitying her, "you know what, I don't think I even wanna know. How about you get out of my room and just leave me the fuck alone. I don't want your pity, your sorrow isn't gonna help me one bit, so just leave before I make you!"
"I don't," Sirius smiled, though it barely looked pleasant. His face was twisted in an ugly grimace now, "but you do!"
"What?" Lily felt as though she wanted to kick him, he started to laugh now. The sound of it was much more bitter than that horrible grimace.
"You had great parents, they're gone now, but you spend 16 years of your life with this amazing family! Some of us would give our whole lives for one day of the love you had…including me. So NO Lily, I don't pity you, if anything I ENVY you for what you had for so long!" Lily wasn't sure she had heard right, lately no one had raised their voice anywhere near her…and Sirius' words were so cold.
"Lily," regret passed through Sirius' eyes, but just as soon as it appeared it was gone, "I hate to tell you this, but you've gotta stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself and wake the hell up! The truth hurts, but you can't afford to hide from it, not in this room or anywhere else for that fact."
"What do you mean," nothing more than a whisper left Lily's lips, but it made Sirius smile, not coldly, but very sad, as he leaned forward his eyes dark and unreadable.
"I mean Voldemort." Lily gasped, feeling cold all over just by hearing that name, "I'm not telling you this to cause you more pain Lily…but I don't want you to be blind to the truth! Voldemort killed you're parents as a way to get you, part of some sort of sick plan of his I suppose, but the fact is he is after you…and I think you know why. But Lily, what will you're parents say if they were watching you, too absorbed in your self pity to get up and fight? He wants you…are you just gonna sit there and cry? Don't you want to keep alive what's most precious to your parents?"
"I…" Lily's throat hurt too much for her to talk much more than a strangled whisper, "don't know how."
"The Potter's are having a party tonight, an annual party with all the pureblood families in Britain invited. It's Mr. Potter's way to keep some kind of an eye on his enemies and make fake friendships. A lot of them support Voldemort Lily…not openly, but some are even deatheaters, a part of Voldemort's inner circle. It's your perfect chance to learn something Lily, act like an airhead…but be very cautious of every word that leaves their mouth. Or even their gestures," Lily was surprised to feel Sirius's fingers on her face, and even more so when she realized it was her tears that he was wiping away, "it could have been much worst Lily…but what happened is done, and you gotta move on…just be careful out there!"
Lily barely had time to gather her thoughts when Sirius was gone, though she realized that the emptiness was full again. The numb pain had now been awakened…but something else nearly as strong was bubbling it's way to the surface. Anger, such that she had never felt before sizzled through her, anger towards herself but mostly at Voldemort…and all those who followed him. Before she could change her mind, Lily jumped to her feet, and looked through her closet surprised to find a whole bunch of beautiful dress robes hung there. Only after a few seconds did she remember Mrs. Potter putting them there as she told her about the party 3 days ago.
A/N: sorry if this chapter is a little short and depressing, I kinda can't write anything too cheerful this week with Kurt Cobain's 10th death anniversary coming up…but anyway I'm glad you all liked the last chapter so much and related to Lily. Harry is still the main character in this story, and yes I know how sometimes that doesn't seem to be the case, but I luv him too and don't worry the next chapter is mainly Harry and Sirius…at the big party of course! As for Dorcas Meadows….well lets just say she has only been mentioned once as a member of the original Order of Phoenix in Moody's pic…this is the quote "that's Dorcas Meadows, Voldemort killed her personally"…doesn't she sound interesting?
Everyone sitting at the large Potter kitchen table quietly watched Lily's exit, none knowing what to do or say. She didn't care though; she barely cared about anything anymore. After what had happened…she wasn't sure she could ever think or feel ever again. It was rather odd, after spending a whole week doing nothing but crying, it seemed that she was finally all cried out. The pain that seemed able to explode her heart only a few days ago was now numbed out…so was everything else. It seemed like it was her body's sick twisted way to deal with all that happened…but if anything, Lily loved the pain better than this horrible feeling of emptiness.
Walking up to her bed, or the one the Potters had given her when Dumbledore decided their house was the best place Lily could spend the rest of her Christmas vacation at. Lily didn't care much though, the Potters were certainly trying their hardest to cheer her up, but everything was nothing more than a gray blur to Lily these days. Her parents were now worst then dead, something she barely understood and that fact made it all a thousand times worst. Then there was Petunia…her only sister who hated her, the girl she had stripped away from her parents…Lily doubted she'd ever forget the hate in those gray eyes.
Shivering slightly, Lily pulled the covers over her body, staring at the blazing fire in the elegant fireplace in front of the bed. Still numb, she didn't hear as Sirius walked into her room, without so much as knock, at least not until he sat on the bed at her feet. She wanted nothing more than to ignore him…but as he just sat there without saying so much as a word she became anxious.
"Can't you knock," she said in a quiet cold voice, yet he grinned at her shaking his head.
"Nope. It wasn't exactly a requirement where I grew up," Lily wasn't exactly amused, things tended to roll off of her very easily these days…but this was the first time someone had talked to her like this. As if she was just another buddy…not the girl who had just lost both her parents. Yet it wasn't nearly enough to make her smile.
"What do you want Black?" she asked him her voice not so quiet so cold, yet far from soft. Sirius didn't say anything, instead he began studding her face, making her feel as though she wanted to kick herself. He was checking to see if she was ok…probably pitying her, "you know what, I don't think I even wanna know. How about you get out of my room and just leave me the fuck alone. I don't want your pity, your sorrow isn't gonna help me one bit, so just leave before I make you!"
"I don't," Sirius smiled, though it barely looked pleasant. His face was twisted in an ugly grimace now, "but you do!"
"What?" Lily felt as though she wanted to kick him, he started to laugh now. The sound of it was much more bitter than that horrible grimace.
"You had great parents, they're gone now, but you spend 16 years of your life with this amazing family! Some of us would give our whole lives for one day of the love you had…including me. So NO Lily, I don't pity you, if anything I ENVY you for what you had for so long!" Lily wasn't sure she had heard right, lately no one had raised their voice anywhere near her…and Sirius' words were so cold.
"Lily," regret passed through Sirius' eyes, but just as soon as it appeared it was gone, "I hate to tell you this, but you've gotta stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself and wake the hell up! The truth hurts, but you can't afford to hide from it, not in this room or anywhere else for that fact."
"What do you mean," nothing more than a whisper left Lily's lips, but it made Sirius smile, not coldly, but very sad, as he leaned forward his eyes dark and unreadable.
"I mean Voldemort." Lily gasped, feeling cold all over just by hearing that name, "I'm not telling you this to cause you more pain Lily…but I don't want you to be blind to the truth! Voldemort killed you're parents as a way to get you, part of some sort of sick plan of his I suppose, but the fact is he is after you…and I think you know why. But Lily, what will you're parents say if they were watching you, too absorbed in your self pity to get up and fight? He wants you…are you just gonna sit there and cry? Don't you want to keep alive what's most precious to your parents?"
"I…" Lily's throat hurt too much for her to talk much more than a strangled whisper, "don't know how."
"The Potter's are having a party tonight, an annual party with all the pureblood families in Britain invited. It's Mr. Potter's way to keep some kind of an eye on his enemies and make fake friendships. A lot of them support Voldemort Lily…not openly, but some are even deatheaters, a part of Voldemort's inner circle. It's your perfect chance to learn something Lily, act like an airhead…but be very cautious of every word that leaves their mouth. Or even their gestures," Lily was surprised to feel Sirius's fingers on her face, and even more so when she realized it was her tears that he was wiping away, "it could have been much worst Lily…but what happened is done, and you gotta move on…just be careful out there!"
Lily barely had time to gather her thoughts when Sirius was gone, though she realized that the emptiness was full again. The numb pain had now been awakened…but something else nearly as strong was bubbling it's way to the surface. Anger, such that she had never felt before sizzled through her, anger towards herself but mostly at Voldemort…and all those who followed him. Before she could change her mind, Lily jumped to her feet, and looked through her closet surprised to find a whole bunch of beautiful dress robes hung there. Only after a few seconds did she remember Mrs. Potter putting them there as she told her about the party 3 days ago.
A/N: sorry if this chapter is a little short and depressing, I kinda can't write anything too cheerful this week with Kurt Cobain's 10th death anniversary coming up…but anyway I'm glad you all liked the last chapter so much and related to Lily. Harry is still the main character in this story, and yes I know how sometimes that doesn't seem to be the case, but I luv him too and don't worry the next chapter is mainly Harry and Sirius…at the big party of course! As for Dorcas Meadows….well lets just say she has only been mentioned once as a member of the original Order of Phoenix in Moody's pic…this is the quote "that's Dorcas Meadows, Voldemort killed her personally"…doesn't she sound interesting?