Raising Ryan
Chapter 8 – When It Rains, It PoursThere was an awkward air about the room when the Sampsons arrived, Shelly included. Seth couldn't imagine what they were doing here and he put his eavesdropping skills to work from his secret location on the stairs.
"Is Ryan home?" Shelly asked, breaking the silence.
"Ah, he's…around…somewhere," Sandy replied taking a seat next to Kirsten, careful to find out what this was all about before involving Ryan. Putting his arm around his wife, they waited for the Sampsons to plead their case.
"This isn't something I ever expected I'd be doing and, well, Mr. And Mrs. Cohen, I don't know how to say this gently…so I'll just get it over with. Shelly is pregnant…and Ryan is the Father."
"Oh my God!" Seth whispered to himself from the stairs, craning his neck to hear more details.
Sandy and Kirsten sat dumbfounded on the opposite couch, both with their mouths agape. Of everything they were expecting to hear, this wasn't it.
"I don't know what to say," Sandy finally forced the words out, tripping over his words in the process.
"We don't blame you. It's not you, it's that kid. This is what happens when you bring someone like him into Newport."
"Someone like him?" Kirsten rebuffed, quickly moving past the shock of the topic at hand and working rapidly toward perturbed.
"Well, yes. Where he comes from, people live like animals. They have no regard for anyone or anything."
"Animals!" Kirsten raged, huffing as she scooted closer to the edge of the couch.
"Honey, please." Sandy attempted to control the situation before it turned into a full-fledged war in his living room. "Mr. Sampson, I can assure you, whatever preconceived ideas you have about Ryan, you don't know him. He's a really good kid."
"Right. And that's why I'm on the verge of being a Grandfather!"
"This isn't happening. Ryan would never sleep with her!" Kirsten blurted out. "She's not his type."
"Oh, so now you're gonna play that card?" Mr. Sampson raged.
"Not his type? What's wrong with her?" Mrs. Sampson fumed, suddenly upset by the idea of someone not finding her daughter attractive.
"She's extremely controlling," Kirsten fumed back. "Ryan doesn't like to be controlled."
Taking Kirsten's hand, "With all due respect Mr. Sampson, and I don't know how to put this delicately either…but…we're having a hard time believing that Ryan was intimate with Shelly because…because he just doesn't think of her that way…at all."
"Get to the point."
Taking back the reigns, Kirsten fired back, "Fine…Ryan hates Shelly. With a passion. How's that for a point? He's complained about her since the day they were assigned as lab partners."
Raging, "A classic lie! And you believed him!" Mr. Sampson yelled. "What better way to cover up the obvious than to tell your guardians the opposite of what's true! And you fell for it!"
"Oh hell no!" Seth yelled from his hiding place on the stairs. "That is not the case at all!"
"Seth! What are you doing!" Sandy scolded as Seth came bounding down the stairs.
"I'm saving Ryan's ass!"
"Stay out of this Seth!" his Mother reprimanded.
"Stay out of what?" Ryan asked, walking into the room unaware of the topic at hand.
"Hi Ryan," Shelly chirped, giddy.
"Shelly? What are you doing here?"
"Don't you play dumb young man, you know exactly why she's here!"
Growing more defensive by the second, "No, I don't," he admitted, looking to Shelly to clear up the details.
"Ryan…I'm pregnant."
Putting his hands on his hips, Ryan laughed sarcastically. "Now I get it. You're pregnant and I'm the misfit in this town so why not blame it on the deviant, right?"
"Ryan, you don't have to be embarrassed…"
"Shelly, I'm not embarrassed. I'm pissed off. Huge difference."
Again, Sandy tried to diffuse the situation. "Ryan, we're just trying to get to the bottom of this."
"That's easy, there is no bottom. It doesn't exist."
"That's being said, did you and Shelly…"
"No! Never! Thought never even crossed my mind! She's not my type!"
"That's what I said," Kirsten mumbled confidently.
"Ryan, what are you saying?" Shelly asked coyly.
"I'm saying I never slept with you…and I never would sleep with you. I can't stand you! Christ you wouldn't have fucked you even if I was drunk!"
"We don't have to take this!" Mrs. Sampson barked, standing up. "Let's go! You'll hear from our attorney!"
Sandy wiped his hand over his face and both of the adult Sampsons stood up and walked behind the couch. "Let's go Shelly!"
"Wait a minute." Walking up to Shelly, Ryan pulled her arm and sat her back down on the couch.
"Don't you handle her like that!" the girl's Father threatened. "Don't you think you've done enough?"
"Hey, according to you I'm the Father and if that's true, I've touched more than her arm. This is between me and her. Just stand there and shut up for a minute."
"Easy Ryan," Sandy warned.
Glaring at her horrified and shocked parents, Ryan sat down on the coffee table again, this time in front of Shelly. Sandy and Kirsten leaned in to catch all of this, as did Seth. They knew his Chino skills were going to be working over time on this one.
"I want you to tell me the truth. Are you really even pregnant?" Ryan interrogated.
"Of course she is! We went to the doctor!" Her Mother interjected.
"Was I talking to you?" Ryan scolded.
"Yes Ryan, I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby together."
Sighing, "Shelly, you know this isn't my kid."
"Of course it is."
Now Ryan was rubbing his hand behind his neck. "If that's true, exactly when did we hook up?"
"It was at one of the beach parties. We did it more than once so…I can't remember."
Tipping his head back, he glared at her. He wasn't going to take this.
"You don't know much about me Shelly."
"Sure I do. You're nice and you're smart…you're cute," she shrugged, grinning.
"Yeah, maybe. But by now I'm sure your parents have told you what a horrible person I am because of where I come from and how people like us live right?"
Shelly was starting to squirm on the couch.
"You don't have a clue what brought me to Newport in the first place or what my life before Newport was like. If you knew, you wouldn't be pulling this crap, and definitely not pulling it with me. Most importantly, what you don't know is that I've been lied to for most of my life. And because of that, I can sniff out a lie a mile away. And you're lying. Not only to me, but to everyone in this room."
"Ryan…"she gushed nervously.
"See, there's a few problems with your story. I happen to know you don't get invited to parties. That's a cold reality, but it's still reality. And even if you were invited to parties, you aren't part of the same crowd I'd be partying with. Even if I leave a party drunk, I arrived sober and I'd know whether or not you were there. I haven't been to any ragers in while. According to you, we only hook up at parties. I can't party with you if I'm not there."
Tears were forming in Shelly's eyes.
"Second, I made a promise to Sandy and Kirsten before Christmas. I promised them I would back off the booze and the girls. I'm not going to deny that I hook up. I've done plenty of that. I've had more girls than I can count. I'm not going to deny that I drink. I've done plenty of that too. My real Mom is an alcoholic. But I haven't been to any parties. I haven't been drinking. I haven't been with any girls. And I definitely did not hook up with you. That would just never happen…and you know that. I may have low standards, but they're there."
The girl was sobbing.
"Now…you wanna play games? We'll play. Ask the Cohens. I'm good at games. Where I come from fucking with people physically, as well as mentally, is a way of life. When this kid is born, there's going to be tests. And those tests are going to turn your world upside down. I am not going down for something I didn't do."
Standing up abruptly from the coffee table, Ryan took a few steps away from Shelly before she jumped off the couch.
"Okay!" she sobbed. "It's not his. He didn't do anything. He's telling the truth."
"Shelly, don't lie for him!" her Father whined. "Don't let him intimidate you! This is all his fault!"
"No. It's not. The baby isn't his. He never touched me. He barely talks to me. I wanted so bad for him to like me, to take care of me and the baby. But he told me from the beginning he wasn't interested. I thought I could change his mind."
"Shelly! How could you do this!" her Mother breathed, astonished. "Do you have any idea what you've done? You accused this boy…you made us humiliate ourselves in front of his parents. Do you have any idea how terrible this would have been had this all come out when the baby was born?"
"I know," she continued to sob. "Ryan, I'm sorry."
"Oh I wouldn't say that to him Shelly. Saying you're sorry doesn't carry a lot of weight with Ryan," Seth explained.
Coughing nervously, "Mr. and Mrs. Cohen, I don't think words can express how embarrassed my wife and I are right now. While an apology is in order, I don't think it even comes close to making up for what we've put you and your family through this evening."
"I'll walk you out," Sandy offered, flustered and frustrated.
Mr. Sampson turned to apologize to Ryan, but he'd already left the room.
On the driveway, Shelly and her Mom climbed into the car and waited for Mr. Sampson to join them. Shelly was still crying over her plan that had backfired. Mrs. Sampson was still pink with humiliation.
"I really am sorry Mr. Cohen. I had no idea."
Nodding, "I know. You know what the worst part of this whole thing is? Ryan was telling the truth tonight. He spent most of his life in a place where people lied to him and they tried to convince him that things were his fault, when they weren't. He thought he'd left that all behind when he came to Newport. He had a terrible childhood and he's worked hard to get past it. That kid hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since before Christmas, but I'm confident he'll go on a bender now as a result of this little escapade tonight. I'll be shocked if he doesn't. It's the only way he knows how to heal pain." Sandy watched as Mr. Sampson's face went pale. "I strongly suggest you talk to Mrs. Lloyd first thing tomorrow. At the very least, your daughter is going to need a new lab partner. I'd prefer she was removed from Ryan's class altogether."
Without bidding goodnight, Sandy turned and went back into the house to check on Ryan. He found him sitting on the foot of his bed, staring at his boots.
"You okay kid?"
Snorting, Ryan shook his head. "Of all the girls I've fucked, I get paired with a psychopath that I've never touched who thinks I'm the father of her kid. I guess my luck hasn't changed."
"This has nothing to do with you kid, nothing at all. Whatever demons she's battling, they're on her shoulders, not yours. You know that right?"
"I'm just so fucking sick of people blaming me for things I didn't do."
"I know. But you have to look at it from her angle. To her, you were quite the catch. Good-looking guy who gets good grades…just made striker on the soccer team. What girl wouldn't want you to be their boyfriend?"
Glaring at Sandy, a crooked smile found it's way onto Ryan's face.
"She's the one that made the mistake Ryan, and she's the one that has to face it. Not you."
Ryan nodded, not too convincingly.
"Promise me something kid?" Sandy asked, drawing Ryan's attention. "I know you're probably itching for a release of some kind right now. Promise me you won't go out tonight. I want you home where I know you're safe. Can you do that for me?"
Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, Ryan couldn't bring himself to look at Sandy. He should've known he'd be one step ahead, as usual.
"Can I have a cigarette?" Ryan bargained, finally meeting Sandy's eyes.
"You got it kid. So it's a deal?"
Nodding, "I'll stay put."
"Good boy. I'll be right back."
Retrieving the requested item, Sandy's heart skipped a beat when he returned and found the door to the pool house open and Ryan was no longer sitting on the bed.
"Relax Sandy, I'm right here."
Startled, he turned in the direction of the voice to find Ryan sitting on one of the lounge chairs by the pool. He visibly let out his breath.
"Kirsten doesn't let me smoke in the pool house. I have to be outside."
"Sorry kid. Old ghosts I guess."
"I know what you mean."
Sandy watched Ryan light his cigarette and take a long drag off the stick. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees. Clasping his hands together he held the smoke in his mouth for some time.
"I was proud of you Ryan. The way you handled this tonight."
Ryan looked at him questioningly, as if he'd stated something obviously stupid.
"I'm serious. I was proud of the fact that you stood up for yourself. You talked it out and the truth came out as a result of it. I think that's the first time you've done that since you came here."
Spacing out at the grass, Gina from the Ranch flashed through his mind. She's the one that had originally convinced him that talking was a good thing.
"What are you thinking about?" Sandy asked, after several minutes had gone by with no response from Ryan.
"My sponsor at the Ranch," Ryan sighed, snubbing his cigarette out in the grass. "She always said talking was a good thing."
"You've always been good at talking Ryan, you just never knew it."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Well I can't speak for Chino, but, back in the Bronx where I grew up, a good con could talk his way into, or out of, any situation. You've proven that long before tonight. You have more power than you give yourself credit for."
Leaning back on his hands, Ryan considered Sandy's comment. "So, if I choose my words carefully, you'll let me have a beer?"
"No."
Snorting, "Then apparently I've lost my touch."
"What happened tonight was not about you. Don't let this bring you down. You're doing great and you've worked too hard to let the likes of Shelly Sampson get to you."
Ryan nodded, still trying to convince himself he believed in himself as much as Sandy did.
"I've got homework to do and it's getting late."
They both stood up and Sandy studied Ryan for a moment before Ryan caught his gaze.
"I promise Sandy. No drinking. No prowling. You gave me a cigarette. When Kirsten does that, it's sort of like a contract…she goes nuts if I break my end of the deal."
"Good to know. Alright kid, I'll see you in the morning."
When the doorbell rang the next afternoon, Kirsten frowned at her magazine and kept reading on her way to the door. Pulling the door open revealed a surprise on her doorstep. When it rains, it pours.
"Dawn," she gasped. "I wasn't…I didn't…I had no idea you were coming."
Stepping aside, she allowed her into the house.
"I know. And I know this is really rude of me to come by unannounced. I know it's unfair to Ryan."
"So then why are you here?" Kirsten asked candidly.
"I just needed to see him. As a Mother to a Mother, please," she begged.
"Dawn, he's…he's not even home. He's at soccer practice right now."
"Could we…maybe…go there?"
Regretting sharing that information, "I…I…don't know that that's such a good idea, Dawn. It's one thing to surprise Ryan like this, but to do it in front of his friends…" Her explanation faded away hoping Dawn would catch her drift.
"I bet he's good at it…soccer I mean. I signed him up once when he was little. Made MVP on the team and everything. Not that I'd know about it first hand since I would…drop him off at the field and go to the bar."
"You've never seen him play?"
Shaking her head, "Never," she whispered back.
Taking a deep breath, Kirsten was torn between a rock and a hard place. She knew if Ryan spotted his Mother it would probably derail all the good that he'd accomplished. As a Mother, Kirsten could understand Dawn's pleas to see her son play. And most importantly, as Ryan's new Mother figure, Kirsten wanted Dawn to see how far he'd come, rub it in as it were. This wasn't the same kid they took out of Chino and she wanted to see Dawn's mouth drop to the pavement when she saw all that Ryan had become.
"Okay. I'll take you to the field, but, if Ryan asks us to leave, we're leaving."
"Okay. I understand."
The short drive to the school was torture. The lack of conversation left the air in the car stagnant. Parking behind the grandstand as she'd done before, Kirsten directed Dawn to the side of the bleachers. They scanned the field full of boys running drills in search of Ryan.
"There he is," Kirsten discovered. "Right by the goal, number twenty-three."
"That's Ryan?"
"Yep."
Dawn watched as Ryan followed suit, performing drills and talking with the other boys as he waited his turn in line. As expected, her mouth slipped open and her forehead wrinkled with disbelief. How could this be her son? How could this be the same boy that was such a troublemaker merely nine months ago?
"He's good. At this. He's good at soccer," she finally managed to say.
Kirsten felt an air of pride, "The coach was very impressed with him and many of the other boys feel he's one of the best players on the team."
Without warning, the soccer ball hit the fence where they were standing and Ryan ran in their direction to retrieve it, stopping dead in his tracks when he realized who was standing in front of him.
"Let's go Atwood!" the coach barked. "Throw that ball in!"
"Got it!" Grabbing the ball, he put it back into play. Whirling around angrily, "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked his Mother directly.
"I heard you made the team. I wanted to see you…see you play."
"What is it with you? Huh? First you try making up for the Christmases you missed and now you want to catch up for all the games you missed too? It's too fucking late! Get over it already!" he hollered. "And you, I can't believe you brought her here," he seethed at Kirsten. "I trusted you."
"Ryan…"
Turning to glare at his Mother one more time, Ryan ignored Kirsten.
"Ryan! Get over here! Right now!" Kirsten's voice was angry. Ryan didn't hear her like that often, come to think of it, he'd never heard her quite like this.
He walked with her with the fence between them, putting some distance between themselves and Dawn. With both of them fuming, they lowered their voices even with anger boiling just below the surface.
"You think you have a right to be angry? I can't believe you brought her here! What the hell were you thinking?" he raged.
Grabbing Ryan by the arm, "If you would shut up for a minute and stop trying to show her how angry you are with her, you would have figured this out already!" Kirsten scolded. "She showed up at home unannounced and I brought her here so she could see how far you've come since you left Chino. I brought her here so she could see the man that you've become. The minute you see her, you revert back to everything you've worked so hard to get past. In an instant, you turn back into that kid from Chino, the one that's running scared in every direction but the right one. The same kid that begged me to take him back in, to help him change and make something of his life. You have changed. You're not that kid anymore. Now you take that smartass mouth of yours, get back on the field before your coach loses his mind and you show her what you can do. Show her that you deserve to be out there. You show her the man she doesn't know is inside the boy. Do you understand me? Do you understand what I'm saying? She can't take this from you Ryan…no one can. I love you and I'm proud of you. Nothing she can say or do will ever change that."
Blinking, Ryan rubbed his arm where Kirsten had let go of him. Kirsten was right. He was so hell-bent on making his Mom feel bad that he'd lost sight of what was right in front of him. She wasn't a part of his life any more. She was looking in from the outside, wishing she was a part of it. If he really wanted to open a wound, showing off his new life was the way to do it.
"I'm sorry," he whispered at Kirsten. "I wasn't thinking. She always gets to me."
"I know honey. It's not easy. And I'm sorry I grabbed your arm…I just didn't want to have to chase you out on the field in front of your friends."
Snorting a laugh, "That would not have been good and I know you would have done it. I get it. I'm sorry I didn't get it sooner."
"Atwood! Boy, are you wasting my time!"
"No sir!" Ryan yelled at the coach. "Kirsten, I gotta get back."
"You go…play hard. Take it out on the ball Ryan."
Smiling at Kirsten, his eyes grazed his Mother as he ran back to the field.
Folding her arms across her chest, Kirsten rejoined Dawn who was completely baffled by the display that just took place.
"Well…Kirsten, what did you say to him? How did you get him to calm down like that, so fast?"
"I told him his energy would be better spent on the field than on yelling at you."
"And he bought that?" Dawn questioned sarcastically.
"He's not the same kid any more Dawn. He tries really hard to do the right thing. He sees his life differently now. You're here today but who knows when he'll see you again. He's worked too hard to make the team and he wanted it so badly, I'm not letting either of you screw this up in front of his coach."
"That is, definitely…direct."
"I warned you on the phone that I wouldn't let you do anything that derailed what he'd accomplished since he's been here."
"I know. You did say that. I guess, after everything you've told me about him and about him changing…I suppose I thought maybe he'd change the way he felt about me too."
Back off a little bit, Kirsten glanced at Dawn as she shrugged, still watching Ryan out on the field.
"I suppose that hadn't occurred to me, but, there's an awful lot of hurt there Dawn."
"I know. I screwed things up but good. I know I deserve it…but it still hurts you know?"
"Healing takes time. You can't rush him through this. You'll only end up pushing him farther away."
They watched Ryan race across the field with a stolen pass before kicking it into the net. Dawn was having trouble processing the fact that was the same Ryan on the field. Her Ryan. Drunk, disorderly and usually missing, Ryan. On the field he was almost unrecognizable. Going after the ball with the same intensity she'd seen him use on the street. High-fiving the other boys on the field, reaping the rewards of his skills. Smiling. He was happy.
The practice ended only fifteen minutes later and Dawn found herself wishing it were longer. Her time with her son was over. She could see Ryan's demeanor change the minute he turned to head towards them. The smile left his face and he directed his eyes at the ground. When he reached the gate, he made a point of avoiding eye contact by rummaging through his gear bag and retying one of his cleats.
"You um, you looked really good out there kiddo," she offered, hoping he'd respond to her.
Squirting his water bottle into his mouth, he stood up and nodded, sweeping a looking in her direction before tossing the empty bottle back down into his bag.
"So now what?" Ryan asked, looking to Kirsten to break the uncomfortable tension that was mounting.
"It's time to go home and order dinner."
Dawn took that as her cue to hit the road. "I really should head out too. It's a long trip back to Chino."
Cringing at the random thought that popped into his head, Ryan watched her gather her things. "Are you hungry?"
She looked at her son quizzically, especially considering what he seemed to be offering. "You…you really would…be okay with that?"
She could see the reservation in his eyes. He was going through the motions but it wasn't heartfelt. Like Kirsten said, he was trying to do the right thing but he was fighting it heart and soul this time.
"Ryan, I only want you to do this if you can calm down a little bit. You're wound up awful tight," Kirsten observed.
Taking a deep breath, "I'll try." Turning to his Mother, "You've got one shot at getting this right. If you do anything to disrespect them or their home, and I mean anything…"
"I get it kiddo," she interrupted. "I'll try too."
Glaring at her, "You've gotta do more than try. You're the one that's looking for forgiveness." Bending down he grabbed his bag and headed toward the car.
TBC…