Raising Ryan

Chapter 10 – The Punishment That Changed Everything

"I hate this already," Ryan griped.

"Come on now," Kirsten pepped, fixing his tie. "You've got your punishment to work off and this will take up a big chunk of that."

"I didn't drink that much. I know I'm being punished, but I really hate being dressed like this and I really hate these functions. Those women are a pain in the ass."

"You shouldn't have taken a drink at all and if memory serves me correctly, you enjoyed getting fitted for this suit. And Ryan, no swearing today."

"Kirsten, ass isn't a bad word."

"You can't be swearing, at all, in front of the women today. And if it gets back to me that you are, you'll answer to me. Got it?"

Sighing, "Got it."

"Wow, what's Ryan all spiffed up for?" Seth asked, gracing the living room with his presence.

"He's working off some of his time by helping out at the floral show."

"Ryan and flowers, now that's a wicked combination. Way to send him straight back to the bottle Mom," Seth mocked.

Rolling his eyes at Seth, Ryan pulled on the collar of his shirt, hoping to loosen it a bit.

"Don't be such a smartass Seth. Ryan, stop fussing."

"Wait, did you just say ass?" Ryan observed. "If I can't say it, then you can't say it either."

Intrigued by the conversation, "Why can't we say ass? Since when?"

"She doesn't like it when we say ass," Ryan explained.

On the brink of losing her mind, "Alright, nobody says ass! Not now, not tonight and I don't even want to hear it tomorrow. Got it!"

"What about the day after that?"

"Seth!"

Leaning into Ryan, "First she took way your booze and your cigarettes, then she took your women away…now she's taking away your manly ability to swear. Ryan, your balls are shrinking as we stand here."

"At least I had some to start with."

Infuriated, "That's it! Ryan, in the car! Seth, go to your room!"

"But you're leaving. When can I come out?"

"Some time next month!"

Now Ryan leaned into Seth, "You're screwed."

Still flustered from the events at home, Kirsten rushed into the event with a less-than-happy Ryan in tow. Heading straight to Peggy, "Peg, Hi. I'm so sorry we're late…had…a little something…at home to deal with." Glancing at Ryan, who maintained an innocent face, only reignited her frustration.

Peggy, amused by the situation, offered some advice. "That 'little something' you're talking about? They're called 'men'. Sadly, they don't ever grow out of it."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better Peg. Ryan's here to help with set up."

"Oh well, there isn't much left to…"

"Anything. He'll do anything."

Catching on, "I see. Tell you what, Kirsten why don't you head into the conference room. Some of the other women are already in there discussing how they want things to go today. I'll find something for Ryan to do."

"That would be great. Behave Ryan."

After Kirsten walked away, Peggy smiled at Ryan. He learned to like her since she was one of the few people in Newport that gave him a chance from the get-go. Since she had four boys of her own, albeit very different from Ryan, she seemed to understand Ryan better than most people in Newport did.

"So, tell all, what did you do?"

Smiling with guilty eyes, "Um, it sort of involved guzzling some Jack Daniels…and I think I added to it today by saying the word 'ass' one too many times."

"Ass? That's it? Surely you can do better than that."

"Definitely. But, not if I want my life back anytime soon."

"Well then I guess we better put you to work. Follow me."

Outside of the banquet room, Peggy led Ryan to a table where she had him set up alphabetized place cards for the guests that would be arriving in another hour. After that she had him relocate some door prizes onto the stage behind the main table. He'd just finished moving the last box when Kirsten came in to check on him.

"Hey, how're you doing?"

"Good. I'm done with this."

"Good because the guests are beginning to arrive and I need you out in the lobby."

"For what?" Ryan worried with a sideways glance.

"I want you to greet everyone and give them a program for the event."

Groaning, "Can I have an extra week of punishment instead?"

"Absolutely not. You're still working off this week."

Standing next to the door, Ryan handed out the pastel colored program flyers with a perturbed half smile and used as few words as possible. Most of the guests just said 'thank you' and continued on their way, but every now and then a guest would put in their two cents in.

Like when whiny Evelyn walked in. "Oh. Ryan. What are you doing here? Well at least you're dressed like you belong here."

Or when Blaine's Mom walked up to him for a program. "Well, well. Look who's here. Come to kick up more trouble I assume?"

Glaring at the woman, Ryan held out a program. "I think your seat is off to the side, near the roses…since you both have thorns. Like speaks to like you know."

Huffing in disgust, she snatched the flyer out of his hand and kept moving, bringing a satisfied smile to Ryan's face. The confrontation didn't go unnoticed however.

"Ryan, what did you just say to her?" Kirsten asked, approaching with her arms folded.

"I told her to enjoy the show but she hates me so…wouldn't have mattered what I said."

Eying him carefully, Kirsten tried to decipher the truth. Ryan was excellent at the face game. He could make any bold-faced lie seem believable. "Please be polite okay?"

"Okay."

Moving to Ryan's side, Kirsten figured she'd monitor him for a moment. That's when Ryan 'punishment' took an unusual turn.

An older lady stood in front of Ryan with her hand outstretched, waiting patiently for him to hand her a program but his attention was locked on something across the room. A girl. More specifically, on a girl that appeared to be checking him out.

The older woman was growing impatient. "Excuse me? Sir? Sir? The program?"

Giving Ryan a nudge with her elbow, Kirsten put his mind back on the job. "Ryan…the programs?"

"Right. Sorry."

By the time he'd caught up with the women that were lined up in front of him, the girl that had grabbed his attention was approaching him.

"Hi," she smiled. "I bet you're bummed to be here. More of a girl thing really."

"I'm just helping out."

Kirsten rolled her eyes at the exchange. Now she knew she could get Ryan involved in almost anything if there were girls involved. Not old, Newpsie women…but girls.

"Are you staying for the reception after the show?" the girl asked.

"Yeah. I'm pretty much here for the whole event."

"Cool. Maybe I'll see you afterwards." Reaching toward Ryan, she laid her hand on the lapel of his suit coat. "Nice suit." Slipping the program out of Ryan's hand she disappeared through the door.

Trying to keep his grin hidden from Kirsten, Ryan returned his attention to the stack of programs in his hand and straightened out the pile by packing it against his stomach.

"You really are quite the chick magnet. Do all the girls just throw themselves at you like that?"

"Pretty much."

"Good God."

When the floral show was over, Ryan meandered through the reception. As much as he hated these things, he couldn't deny the food. Most days, the food alone was worth withstanding the torture of the event.

After sufficiently munching on appetizers, he made his way to the bar and ordered a soda, just plain soda. He had to show Kristen he was behaving. While waiting for his drink he felt a hand on his arm. He took his time acknowledging it, confident it was Kirsten warning him to be wise about his drink order. When he finally did turn, he was surprised to find the girl from the lobby standing next to him.

"Hey. Mind ordering me a Mountain Dew?"

"Sure." Nodding at the barkeep, "Mountain Dew, please."

With their drinks in their hands, the girl linked her arm around Ryan's and led him to a quieter part of the room.

"So, you never told me your name."

"It's Ryan."

"Samantha," the girl obliged, offering a handshake. "I also answer to Sami. Nice to meet you."

"Same."

"I've never seen you at these things before, are you new in town?"

"Sort of. I came and then left and now I'm back…to stay this time."

"That's good news," she flirted.

"Samantha? Honey I need you for a moment please," an older woman beckoned.

"That would be my Mom," Sami explained. "I'm sure this will lead to some long, drawn out female type situation. Tell you what, let me give you…this." Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a pen and pulled Ryan's cocktail napkin from between his fingers. Leaning over a nearby table, she scribbled her name and phone number down on it. "If you want to do something some time, give me a call. Maybe we could see a movie or something."

"Yeah?"

"Sure why not? I mean, if you want to."

Nervously giddy, "No…I mean yeah, sure. Sounds great."

"Good. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for the drink." Offering nothing more than a smile, Sami turned and walked over to the gaggle of women already talking and laughing loudly.

Interrupting his thoughts, "Ryan? You ready to go?"

Embarrassed, he quickly shoved the napkin in pocket. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Back at home, Ryan shuffled in the direction of the pool house but was detained by Seth in the kitchen.

"So? How bad was it?"

Sliding onto the barstool next to Seth, Ryan laid his head down on the counter. "I'm exhausted from being bored."

"The floral show isn't exactly meant to be stimulating Ryan."

Perking up a bit, Ryan twisted his head in Seth's direction. "There was a little bit of stimulation."

"Really? Like what?"

Sitting upright, Ryan leaned back and reached into his pants pocket, withdrew the folded napkin and held it up between two fingers for Seth to see.

"You were stimulated by a folded napkin? Ryan if this involves any sort of self-serve activities, I'd rather not hear about it."

Narrowing his eyes on Seth, "We really need to get you laid." Slowly Ryan unfolded the napkin to reveal the writing inside.

"Dude, that's a girl's digits! Are you kidding me? You're the only person I know of that can still manage to hook up with the opposite sex while their being punished. Is she nice?"

"Yeah, nice girl."

"What about hot? Was she hot?"

"Oh yeah."

"Are you gonna, you know, do what you do best?"

Sighing, "Not yet."

"Not yet? What do you mean not yet? Exactly how does one set the perimeters for something like that?"

Smiling, Ryan stood up and put the napkin back in his pocket. "I'm going to get out of this suit."

"Ryan wait!" Stopping Ryan with one hand on the door handle, "I just wanted to add that, if you were serious about getting me laid, you know, I'm all for it. Just wanted you to know that."

A knowing smile spread across Ryan's face. "I'll see what I can do."

"Seriously? Dude, do you mean it? You seriously mean it? You can help me get laid!"

"Say it a little louder next time Seth, I'm not sure your Mom heard you. We'll see okay?"

"I'll do whatever you say, just tell me what to do and where to be and when. I'll do anything you say."

"Seth?"

Breathing heavy with anticipation, "What?"

"I think we both know you're gonna be scared to death your first time so why don't you tone it down a notch or two?"

"Calm. Right. Got it. I can be calm. I can do that." Walking away, towards his room, Seth continued to talk to himself. "I'm going to get laid! Ryan's gonna get me a girl! This is so cool! I hope I don't pass out…"

Shaking his head, Ryan sighed again as he jogged up the steps to the pool house. "I've created a monster!"

The next morning found Sandy standing at the kitchen counter, reading the previous day's mail, when a half asleep Ryan dredged in, making a straight line to the coffee pot.

"Hey kid. Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine."

Ryan yawned heartily and leaned back on the counter but flinched hard when Sandy reached up to get himself a coffee mug out of the cabinet next to Ryan's head.

"Sorry. Old ghosts," Ryan mumbled, hoping the situation would be overlooked.

The awkward moment left both men at a loss for additional words.

Sandy continued his task of pouring himself a cup of coffee, hoping the right words would find their way into his mind. This needed to be addressed.

"Ryan…can we sit down at the table for a minute?"

"Sandy, it's okay."

"No, it's not."

The comment grabbed Ryan's attention and he found himself suddenly nervous to be alone in Sandy's presence.

"Are you going to hit me?"

"No. I'm not going to touch you. Please sit down."

Sandy half expected Ryan to bolt. Instead, he watched as Ryan methodically chose a chair at the table. His selection allowed him ample access for a quick escape from the table. He even turned his chair so his body was facing the escape route. Seeing this course of action only made Sandy feel even more guilty about not addressing this matter sooner.

"Ryan, I know you're afraid of me. I also know that you trusted me enough to come with me to Newport. I want to know what I can do to help you feel more comfortable around me. I had hoped you would've learned by now that we don't hit our children."

Licking his lips, Ryan avoided eye contact with Sandy and instead, allowed his eyes to dart back and forth across the floor.

"It's not you Sandy. It's me."

"What do you mean? I was just getting a cup from the…"

"I know. That's the problem though. Just doing this or just doing that…anything could happen at any time and I have to be ready for it. It's what I know."

"Ryan, I feel terrible, that you're afraid of me. I know I'm, I'm the Father figure and you're history with other men in my position isn't the best. But, I'm not like the other people that treated you badly and I'll do anything to prove to you that I won't ever hurt you."

Ryan's eyes continued to dart about before he allowed them to lock onto Sandy's.

"I want to believe you Sandy. I really do. But you don't understand what it's like."

"Can you help me understand?"

There was a deafening silence while Ryan considered Sandy's request. Finally deciding he had nothing to lose, Ryan opened up to Sandy.

"I told you guys once before that the first time AJ ever hit me was the second time I met him."

"Yes. I remember that." Sandy could see the anxiety rising in Ryan like mercury rising in a thermometer. He turned away from Sandy, unable to tell him the story to his face.

"My Mom had left me home alone with AJ. She went out on a beer run, AJ convinced her to go. He said he'd watch me. Of course, Trey was nowhere around, he learned to take off at an early age. It was easier to catch hell for being out late than it was to tolerate what went on in that house every day. I asked AJ if I could have some soda. He told me to go pour it my damn self. I was little but I was already pretty used to taking care of myself so I went in the kitchen and climbed up on the counter to get a glass. I put it on the kitchen table and I took the liter of pop of out the fridge. AJ had come into the kitchen to get his lighter when I started pouring the soda into my cup." Ryan paused at the memory. Even without looking at Sandy directly, Sandy could tell he was reliving it as he talked about it. "Hell, I don't know exactly what happened…but the bottle slipped and I accidentally poured some soda onto the kitchen table." Ryan wrung his hands as the memory replayed in his head. "I set the bottle down right away, but AJ lost his mind. He backhanded me so hard across the face that he knocked me down on the floor against the fridge. It felt like forever for the room to stop spinning. I saw fucking stars. The whole time he was screaming about the mess I made and how I wasted the soda and how fucking useless I was that I couldn't even pour a drink. It's not like I ruined anything. I didn't break anything. It was 'just' some soda. It was 'just' on the kitchen table. It was 'just' a spill." Locking his eyes on Sandy again, "It was always 'just' something Sandy. I never knew what would trigger him to go off, until it was too late." Pausing again, "You might be ready to trust me and I want to trust you, I do…but I'm not ready."

"I understand Ryan. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Nothing like that will ever happen in this house. I won't allow it."

Ryan's eyes slowly dropped back to the table. He'd never really had anyone ward off abuse on his behalf, especially not a person in Sandy's position.

"Ryan, I respect your need for space and time. It's okay to not be ready. There's nothing wrong with that. I told you not too long ago that healing takes time, it's something that can't be rushed. Most importantly, I'm grateful that you were honest with me. No matter what you're feeling son, I just want you to be honest with me."

"Okay. I'll try. Maybe…maybe we'll be okay for a while."

"I think so."

"I think so too."

"Now how about you and I whip some breakfast for the lazier troops? You want to be in charge of the eggs or the bacon?"

Ryan stared blankly at Sandy. These Cohens always moved so quickly past something negative and onto something positive, Ryan still wasn't used to it. Sandy could see Ryan wasn't necessarily convinced.

"Tell you what, I'll cook breakfast today. I like your pancakes so I'll cook today and next time you make the pancakes. Deal?"

Ryan nodded absently and after watching Sandy for a few minutes, he got up and started laying out the bacon in the pan.

"It called to you, did it?" Sandy joked, causing Ryan to snort a laugh.

"Yeah I guess so. I thought I could help."

"I'm so glad you boys know how to cook a few things. Kirsten's great but cooking is just not her thing."

"Seth knows how to cook?"

"Well, you know, it's subjective really. Seth knows how to make Seth type foods like…macaroni and cheese, Ramen soup. Although, both involve bringing water to a boil and he's screwed that up a time or two. God help us all if he acquires his Mother's cooking capabilities."

"Maybe we can work on him. You know, teach him a thing or two."

"Oh no doubt. It would be great to have another Chef in the house. Not sure we'd actually want the stuff Seth would cook but, wouldn't hurt to try I guess."

"He's family, I guess we better be supportive, how else is he going to get any better?" The words hit Ryan right between the eyes as they left his mouth and he immediately glanced at Sandy.

Smiling, "You're exactly right, kid. You are…exactly…right."

(TBC)…

A/N – So sorry to keep y'all waiting! We've been busy with squeezing fun time in before 'back to school' arrives and we've been planning my daughter's birthday party. Only a week and a half more and school is IN: D I've also been sitting on this for a while trying to concoct a creative title for this chapter and my brain just isn't cooperating! I'm not nuts about the title – at all – but it engulfs what happens in this chapter so…we're moving on! LOL: D