Raising Ryan

Chapter 14 – Just Like Old Times

Seeing Sami and Ryan together had become a regular staple in the Cohen household. Under Sami's wing, Ryan had taken an unprecedented interest in his schoolwork, something that made Sandy and Kirsten extremely pleased with his progress. While Ryan still wasn't appreciating the concept of having a curfew, it did appear the rest of the rules were finally sticking with him.

Rolling in the door late one afternoon after soccer practice, Ryan dropped his gear bag on the kitchen floor and reached into the fridge for the Gatorade bottle.

Hearing him guzzling from the bottle, "Ryan, honey, don't drink out of the bottle," Kirsten reprimanded from her position at the kitchen table, surrounded by blueprints.

Stealing one last drink out of the bottle, Ryan moved across the kitchen and dumped the remainder of the liquid into a glass. He knew he could have finished the rest of the bottle in only a couple of swigs, but Kirsten adamant about drinking out of the bottle so he humored her by polishing off the Gatorade and rinsing his glass out right away.

"I guess I should have just let you drink it out of the bottle huh?" she laughed.

"That's okay."

"How was practice?"

"Fine."

"Big game this weekend."

"Yeah it is. You better wash your polo shirt."

Snorting a laugh, Kirsten felt guilty about the news she was about to share. "Ryan, I'm afraid I have some bad news." The look on Ryan's face made her immediately regret her choice of words. "I shouldn't have worded it that way, it's not devastating news, but I feel bad."

"What is it?" he asked biting his inner cheek, waiting for her explanation.

Sighing, "I'm going to have to miss the second half of your game on Saturday. I have to leave in order to meet the planner of the new development. I'm sorry."

Now it was Ryan's turn to snort a laugh, "You're sorry?"

"Ryan, please don't be angry."

"Angry? Kirsten…"

"You know if there was any other way around this, I would have done it. I love going to your games."

"Kirsten, I'm not angry. I'm not even upset. I find it funny that you think I would be."

"You're not upset?"

"Why would I be? You've come to every game so far and probably half of the practices."

"I don't go to the practices," she stated mater-of-factly.

"You gonna try to tell me that's not you under the grandstand?" he rivaled, raising his eyebrows.

"I…might have…been…to a few…practices."

"Just a few?"

"Okay, fine, I've been to quite a few of them," she chuckled. "But it's only because I enjoy watching you play."

Laughing, "Look I get it okay? You've been to more games in one season, than my Mom went to in my entire life. It's okay.

"Well the goods news is that Seth and Sandy will still be there to watch the game." Kirsten noticed his eyes drop at the mention of Sandy's name. "Ryan, how are…things…between you and Sandy?"

"They're okay, I guess. Nothing's changed really, for better or for worse."

There was an uncomfortable pause of silence while both tried to find the right words to express what they were thinking. In the end, Ryan got his thoughts together first.

"Sometimes…sometimes I wish something bad would happen. Just so I could test him, you know? See what he'd do. See if he means what he says. Then maybe I could…"

"Ryan, you've gotten into plenty of trouble since you've been here and Sandy's never raised a hand to you. We told you we don't hit in this…"

"I know, I know. Unfortunately actions speak louder than words and I need to see it to believe it."

"Like I said, you've gotten into plenty, especially when you first got here. That's when you were really rough around the edges and if he didn't come down on you then, I'd think you're on your way to being in the clear, wouldn't you?"

"Not necessarily."

"Why not?"

"Because that's what they do. They gain your trust and the minute you let your guard down, something happens. Deep down I think I know he's not like the others. I wish I could forget everything I know and just go forward, but I can't. I have to do this my own way."

"There's nothing wrong with that Ryan. That's the way it should be."

"So, you're not disappointed with me?"

"No, not at all. The only thing I'm disappointed about is missing your game this weekend."

Her unwavering support at the soccer field brought a smile to Ryan's face. "There's still three more games Kirsten."

"I know, but I still wanted to see this one. I've heard those boys play dirty."

Surprised, "How do you know that?"

"Moms gossip too you know," she smiled.

"I better go get cleaned up."

"Oh, before I forget, there's a message for you on the machine."

"Is it Sami?"

"No, it's from a boy."

Walking across the kitchen, Ryan poked at the message button and waited for a voice to present itself…

"Hey Ry, it's Trey. Long time to see huh? I thought…I thought maybe you'd want to come by. It's been a while." A long pause followed. "Okay so, maybe I'll hear from you. You know where and how. I hope it's all good man. Take care."

Erasing the message, Ryan waited for the next onslaught of questions to come from Kirsten.

"Who was that?"

And there they started.

"Trey."

"Who's Trey?"

"My brother."

"Oh. I knew you had a brother, I don't think I ever knew his name. Are you going to go see him?"

"Maybe."

"It's okay if you do. You can go."

Sighing, "I'm not sure I want to."

"Really? How come?"

"Because it means going back to Chino. He's in Chino. And the two of us, together, in Chino is…not…always a good idea."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"We'll see. I have to think about it."

In the den that evening, Sandy and Kirsten snuggled on the couch together watching the evening news. With both of the boys absent with their heads wrapped in homework, they enjoyed the rare moment alone to catch up on the day's events.

"So, did I miss anything today? Any new Napkin Girl news?"

Chuckling, "No, everything is good on the napkin front but there was some other interesting things that came up."

"Oh?"

"Ryan and I talked about you a bit today."

"Really? What did he say?" Sandy asked, extremely curious to hear his wife's answer, he shut off the TV.

"It sounds like he's waiting for a sign."

"A sign?"

"My words not his. He said he wishes something would happen so he could test you, see how you would react."

"He said that?"

"Mmm-hmm. He basically admitted he wants to trust you but he's afraid to because he thinks that's when you'll turn on him."

"But I would never do that."

"You know that, and I know that…but he needs to see it for himself."

"That makes me nervous though. Certain situations may call for certain things, I still would never raise a hand to that kid, but what if I don't handle something the way he feels it should be handled? Then what?"

"You can't do what you 'think' he wants you to do. You have to be yourself. That's the Sandy he needs to see. That's the Sandy that can show him he's safe."

"More patience, huh?"

"Yep."

It had been two days since Trey left his message when Ryan finally broke down and called him.

"Hey man."

"Well I'll be damned! How the fuck are you little brother?"

"Good. You?"

"You know me man."

Snorting, "Yeah I do."

"So, you think you're gonna come by? What are you doing tonight?"

"Not sure tonight is good. It's a school night."

Ryan had to pull the phone away from his head to spare his ear the horrendous cackling of his brother's overwhelming laughter.

"What the fuck Ry? You turn into some sort of pussy after you left? School night? Who gives a shit! Come on down here man!"

"Yeah well, the people that would give me a car to use to come down there will be the ones to give a shit."

"You mean you're really trying to fly the straight and narrow Ry? That's not you man."

Silence took over the line while Ryan held back from admitting how much he'd changed and that he was happy about it…while, at the same time, his brother was absorbing how his little brother had moved on and, apparently, for the better.

"That's good Ry. Really. I'm happy for you."

"Look I'll come down for a little while, but I can't stay long."

"Okay well, I'll be at the pool hall. I'll wait for you there."

"Okay. Later."

Turning around Ryan caught Sandy walking into the room and he wondered how much of the conversation he'd heard.

"Hey kid, how you doing?"

"Okay. Can I…have the keys to the Rover?"

Surprised my Ryan's forwardness, "Sure. Where you going?" Fishing the keys out of his pocket he offered them to Ryan. Surely this was one of those tests Kirsten was talking about since Ryan went to Kristen with everything. He hadn't asked Sandy for a single thing since he arrived.

"Can you just leave them on the counter?"

Not sure what Ryan was avoiding, Sandy placed the keys on the counter before picking up his drink. "Since we both know you feel a curfew is…optional, just remember it's a school night. I still expect you back home as close to curfew as possible."

Ryan actually found it in him to smirk at Sandy's remark about curfew. He waited for him to leave the kitchen before grabbing up the car keys and heading toward Chino.

Ryan hadn't been to this side of town in a long time. Sure, he'd brought Seth to Chino, but Dina's place was on the border, not in the heart of the stranglehold known as Chino. The city looked more seedy than ever. The buildings and homes looked even more run down than he remembered. The drunks outside the bars looked dirtier than ever. The wanna-be-hoods on the corners looked more pathetic than ever. Chino had never looked more desperate to him than it did right now.

Passing through town, he rolled down the chewed up, four lane black top, and finally pulled off into the pool hall. Shutting the car off he sat there for a minute. Many of the same people were still roaming around the lot and walking in and out of the joint. He was suddenly, acutely aware of how far he'd come since he left Chino.

Crossing the lot, he tugged open the door to the bar. Everything inside was just as it was when he left. Smoke hung thick in the air, patrons sat bent over the bar spending their hard earned paychecks on liquor rather than their bills and hustlers worked the pool tables as if it were just another day at the office. Recognizing a figure sitting at the end of the bar, staring at his drink, Ryan wound his way through the crowd in that direction.

"Hey man."

"Ryan? Jesus. Look at you!"

Sliding off his barstool, Trey embraced his brother with a hearty hug that made even his hair shake.

"How are you Ry? Look at this would you? No scruffy chin, nice clothes, all cleaned up and doing the town huh?"

"Something like that."

"Well sit down man."

Taking a seat, the bartender immediately recognized Ryan and dropped a Seven and Seven in front of him.

"Go ahead man, drink up."

Ryan squirmed uncomfortably at his brother's request. "No. Not tonight. I gotta drive back."

Laughing loudly, "What the fuck Ry? You're in Chino now. What? Are you like Cinder-fucking-rella now, you have to be home by a certain time or you'll turn into a pumpkin or some shit?"

"Something like that."

Realizing Ryan was serious, "What happened to you? You used to be a man."

"Oh fuck you! I'm the same person Trey, I just…"

"Just what?" Trey asked, rather disgusted.

"I just see things a little differently now. That's all." Ryan could feel his brother staring him down. "I need some air. Let's get out of here."

Without waiting for his brother's reply, he jumped off the barstool and pushed his way back through the crowd toward the door. Trey had no choice but to throw his money down on the bar and follow him.

Outside, he found Ryan standing with his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground.

"You alright man?"

"Yeah. I'm just, sick of this scene man."

"I know what you need. Follow me."

More out of curiosity than anything else, Ryan followed his brother through the parked cars before stopping in front of a classic Dodge Charger.

"Nice car." The words left Ryan's mouth before he could get a hold of them. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. He always liked cars. He didn't become a boost for nothing…although, the money didn't hurt either.

"It's a beauty alright," Trey admired, standing next to his little brother. "Marco's been wanting this one for a while."

Ryan could feel a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to give his brother the benefit of the doubt so he waited to see what would follow.

"This one would fetch a good price," Trey continued, in the direction Ryan was hoping to avoid. "Only one problem."

"What's that?"

"It's got a Flatley alarm on it. You're the only one I've ever known that could bypass a Flatley."

And there it was. Ryan huffed in frustration before turning and walking through the gravel lot.

"Ryan? Hey. Come on man! Don't be an asshole!"

"I'm the asshole? No, you know what? I am an asshole…for thinking you asked me back here to see me. I should've known this was about a job. I guess I was hoping…I was wrong."

"Look man, I'm sorry okay? I just…I need the money Ry. Don't you know if there was any other way, I would've done it?"

Ryan's cheeks flexed with anger and he glared at his brother. "I don't want to have anything to do with this anymore. I walked away from all of this when I left here. You told me yourself to leave all of this behind. Well, I did. You're on your own this time."

"What the fuck Ry? You're all high and mighty now? Think your shit doesn't stink? Nothing's changed Ry!"

"Everything's changed! Nothing mattered before. I didn't care. I had nothing to lose…now I have everything to lose. It hasn't been easy…but I'm not going back. I'm done."

Trey could only look away. His brother was a guy who kept his word. When Ryan left the Chino, he said goodbye to his brother and 'the life', but still, Trey couldn't believe his was still holding his ground all this time. He really had walked away.

"I'll see you around man. Good luck with the job." Slapping Trey on the back, Ryan took a handful of steps away from his brother before pausing and turning around. "Cut the black wire and tie it off to a ground. The car'll be yours."

"Ry, the black is the main, it's a sure trigger."

"No, Flatley switched the colors on purpose. Stay away from the red, it'll lock down the car. See ya."

"See ya…little brother."

Trey watched his baby brother cross the lot and jump into a black SUV. When the car sped away, Trey had a gut feeling he'd burned the 'brothers for life' motto. Ryan had changed. He still had the tough skin, but he seemed even stronger now than he was before he left. Empowered. He said it himself, he could lose everything with one little mistake. Kicking at the gravel under his boot, Trey regretted asking him back to Chino.

Ryan found himself driving aimlessly around Chino before he pulled off into a diner. Stopping briefly at the counter, he purchased a pack of cigarettes and a lighter before making haste to a booth in the back of the diner.

Tearing open the pack of smokes, he put a stick in his mouth and got it lit. He took several long drags before achieving the desired affect. Using the heels of his hands, he rubbed his eyes and let his head rest there a moment. With his eyes closed, he inhaled slow and deep from the cigarette, still pursing in his lips.

"Well, well, well. Now there's a face I haven't seen in a long time."

Ryan cringed at the voice. This might have been a good place for this little encounter, but it certainly wasn't the right time.

Exhaling a cloud of smoke across the table, "I'm not in the mood Tommy."

"Be serious Atwood, you're never in the mood to talk to me."

Not bothering to wait for an invitation, Tommy slid into the booth across from Ryan, pissing him off royally.

"Aren't you supposed to be out patrolling? Saving lives or some shit like that?" Ryan barked, making Tommy laugh.

"You didn't usually want my help, what makes you think others do?"

Rolling his eyes, Ryan reached for his pack and retrieved another cigarette, lighting it off the butt of the first one.

"You old enough to be buying those yet?" Tommy interrogated.

"No," Ryan sassed back, the plumes of smoke through his nostrils punctuating his displeasure with the conversation.

"Did you…pay for those?"

"Yeah I did, so don't run off with 'em."

Leaning back Tommy studied the boy in front of him. He was the same and yet something had changed.

"I haven't seen you around here in a long time man. What brings you back to Chino?"

Still aggravated by Tommy's presence, Ryan shook his head and turned his attention out the window.

"Did you see your Mom today?"

"No."

One down.

"Well, you definitely didn't pay Dina a visit or you'd be in a much better mood."

Ryan's glare threw daggers across the table.

"So that leaves Trey." Tommy nodded, putting two and two together. "Not everyone is strong enough to beat this place Ryan."

Tommy watched him carefully as he forced a puff of smoke out through his lips.

"And what makes you think I'm strong enough?"

"I've kept tabs on you since you left. You've been doing okay. That's good. What I don't understand is why you came back."

Ryan fussed with the lighter on the table. "I just wanted to see him. That's all."

"Nothing wrong with that." Tommy watched Ryan again. There was more to this than he was letting on. "You miss the life?"

Snorting, "Yeah right. Who would miss being chased and shot at and arrested?"

"Hey, some guys love the chase, can't get away from it."

"I miss the cars. Sometimes." Catching himself in that slip of the tongue, Ryan plugged his own mouth with a cigarette and decidedly shut up.

"Do you like it where you're at? People good to you?"

"Don't get all psychological and concerned on me man."

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care Ryan. You have any problems over there?"

"Not really. I still can't seem to wrap my head around the concept of having a curfew." Glancing down at his watch, he sighed, loudly, "And it looks like tonight's not going to be my night either."

Chuckling, "Compared to what you left behind, a late curfew doesn't sound so bad. Is that all? The family? They're nice?"

Flicking ashes into the ashtray, "Yeah they're nice, for the most part. Seth can get a little annoying at times and Sandy…Sandy and I have some issues."

"Sandy?"

"Mmm. The guy that got me out of Chino."

"Has he…hurt you, at all?"

"No. He's a lot like you actually. Always talking," Ryan explained with a dirty look.

"Ryan that doesn't make sense."

"What?"

"Why would he go to the trouble of giving you a new home just to beat the crap out of you? Seems like it would be a lot of work for nothing if you ask me." Tommy gave Ryan a moment to absorb what he'd said. "You weren't exactly little Lord Fauntleroy when they took you in. He took a chance on you…you owe it to him to give him a chance."

With his elbows on the table and his hands folded, curls of smoke left the cigarette from its perch in his fingers. The line between Tommy and Sandy blurred even more after that comment. Maybe Tommy was right. Maybe Sandy was worth taking a chance on.

A call came over Tommy's radio and he responded to the dispatcher. "Well kid, I guess it's time for me to go save the world." He noticed the hardness in Ryan's face was gone. Maybe something he said helped. Ryan didn't always acknowledge him verbally, but he could get him to listen to him most of the time.

"Oh, one more thing…"

"What?"

"Lay off the cigarettes huh? I'll leave you with that pack since I know it'll be your last…right?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely," Ryan agreed sarcastically.

"You better head home kid. You're already late. See you around."

Ryan didn't say anything, just watched Tommy turn and walk away from him. He had always trusted Tommy's judgment. He would never admit it, but Tommy was right most of the time and he always had Ryan's best interest in mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to open up to Sandy. Maybe…

(TBC)…