Title: What Lies Within Us
Chp.9 The Many Names of Snow
Disclaimer: I don't own. Duh.
Introduction: I know I'm delusional….but Trory. Well, obviously not at first because that would be too easy, but I wanted to clarify. Basically set in the present, maybe like a year ahead, slightly altered to make things work. Oh, side note, and although this fic started before viewing of 'wedding bell blues', assume Rory and Logan got together in similar matter (they're just not having sex), and decided on some 'strings' eventually.
Rating: Pg-13 this chap.
Author's note: I hate reviews (I'm also a really bad liar). If I believe people are reading, it helps.
In case the chapter title makes no sense:
"The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love." -Margaret Atwood
"Mom?" Rory called out for Lorelai as she turned the key and opened the door. Tristan followed behind her, carrying his lone bag, and half her stuff as she couldn't manage to carry it all in.
There was no answer, and the house was dark. Well, of course an errant lamp or two were still on as Lorelai could never remember to shut everything off before she left. Rory let her stuff drop to the floor by the door, and Tristan followed suit. As they wandered into the living room, Rory noticed some clean sheets and a blanket sitting on the couch. Apparently her mom had managed to remember to do laundry so Tristan would have some clean bedding.
"So," Tristan cleared his throat behind her. "This is home."
There was no condescension in his voice, and she turned around with a smile. "Yeah, home. Not exactly Logan's, but we like it. You should be honoured though, it's clean. A rare occurrence."
He laughed and tossed his bag on the couch. "I'm staying with two boys Rory. If it weren't for the cleaning service that they can afford to have come in once a week, the place would be horrific."
She just smiled, knowing their place could beat Logan's any day. "I'll give you the grand tour. It'll take about 2 minutes, but you might as well see everything."
It was an accurate statement. By the time she had shown him the whole upper floor and the kitchen about 30 seconds had passed. She hesitated as they paused in front of her room. It was always the same. Awkward when you showed a guy your bedroom. Even if you weren't offering sex, it still felt somewhat weird, and definitely not innocent. "This is my room," she tried to make her voice sound breezy as she gestured, sure it was no big deal to him.
Determined still not to make a big deal out of it, she turned away and headed back to the living room, with him following behind her. "I wonder where mom went?" she wondered, as she hastily kicked the bra that was sticking out back under the couch. Then, it came to her. The Christmas pageant. She didn't know how she could have forgotten.
"We have to go," she told Tristan, tossing his jacket to him. "I forgot. The Christmas pageant is on tonight. Didn't expect to be back in time, but since we left Logan's so early……"
"Ok," he replied, shrugging back into his jacket, mystified as to why some pageant would have her so worked up.
As they left her place, he noticed she didn't bother to lock the door, but chose not to say anything. It was a small town, not the big city. Things were different here. As he looked around though, he had to admit it was beautiful. Lights adorned all the trees down the street. He still couldn't believe he was here, in Stars Hollow with her. Without Logan. The whole way back he couldn't stem his guilt from making her leave the party early, but he couldn't have stayed. As bad as it looked for the two of them to take off after such a short time, it would have looked even worse when he and his father got into a verbal sparring match.
"See, Stars Hollow is big on town events," she was explaining to him as they walked. "We have more festivals than most cities combined. The Christmas pageant is another one of those things. Mom never misses this stuff."
He didn't comment as they continued on. He was still busy examining things as they went by. An honest to God old time ice cream shop was sitting beside a diner. The store called 'Dosie's' could probably fit into a corner of the grocery stores he used to frequent. Of course part of the point was his family didn't tend to frequent grocery stores, that was what the staff was for.
"I know," he heard Rory say the words resignedly beside him.
"What?" he asked, confused at her comment.
She refused to look at him. "I realize I live in Hicksville, USA. It's 'quaint' to say the least. I know it's not exciting. We have festivals, but I doubt the town has ever even considered a club. We make picnic lunches to bid on, hold town meetings that people actually go to, and have snowman-building contests."
He was still a little lost. It was if she thought he hated the place when they had only been here a couple minutes. "It seems nice," seemed the safest answer. "And trust me, if you think this is Hicksville USA you should visit some of the small places in the Midwest. That's Hicksville."
Rory didn't say anything, but gave a terse smile. She knew she was being a little crazy. It was just as he looked around it reminded her of the shocked and appalled look on Logan's face as he had viewed the town the first time he was here. She couldn't hold it against him, he was used to much more, but that didn't stop it from hurting a little when he looked around him with obvious condescension. He didn't mean anything by it, but his attitude was still there. He had almost seemed a little insulted he had to sleep on a couch. So what if they didn't have hundreds of guest rooms like his parents, did it really matter? But she knew she was being a little too touchy, even if she didn't want Tristan to feel the same way.
As they walked by Luke's, she noticed it was closed. As she glanced at her watch she noticed it was only seven. She smiled, knowing that Lorelai had obviously convinced him to go to the pageant with her. He wouldn't have closed the diner otherwise. As she had told her mother on the phone the other day, she truly believed Luke would have been in the Christmas pageant if he thought it was important to Lorelai. She loved how much he loved her mother.
They approached the center of the town square. The pageant was taking place in the gazebo, as it did every year. Usually this was so it could have the air of reality with the snow on the ground all around. Of course with the bare ground this year they might as well have had it at Miss Patty's. As they approached her mother and Luke, who were standing at the back of the crowd, she noticed that some of those participating in the pageant onstage were coughing up some white stuff.
She knew the second her mother noticed her. She squealed as Rory approached, smiling, and wrapped her daughter in a hug. "You made it!" she said, partially quieting her voice as those around her glared. Rory raised a questioning eyebrow at the people on stage, and her mother laughed. "They got a snow simulator machine to try and get a little realism. It sort of backfired."
Luke patted her awkwardly on the shoulder, and she had to restrain herself from laughing. He had been in their lives for how long, and dating her mother for a long time now, and he always seemed more unsure of how to act around her now than before. He had hugged her before, now it was usually a pat or punch on the shoulder. "Hi Luke," she told him with a smile, and forced a hug on him.
She saw Tristan hanging awkwardly behind, and grabbed his hand, bringing him into the group. She missed the look Lorelai shot at their intertwined hands as she said, "This is Tristan. Tristan, this is my mom." Lorelai had heard so much about him in high school, but had never met the famed boy she had termed 'Bible-boy'.
"Ms.Gilmore," Tristan cleared his throat, and stuck out his hand. She wondered what he had done wrong when Lorelai glared at him and refused to take his hand.
He stood there cluelessly until Rory leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Call her Lorelai."
As soon as he said her name instead of the proper address, she shook his hand, glancing over to her daughter as if to say what the hell is he doing shaking my hand? He wasn't sure what the proper form of Gilmore address was, slapping hands maybe?
Rory smiled and turned to the man who was standing next to her mother. "This is Luke, my mom's….boyfriend." Her hesitation wasn't even noticeable, even though she still wasn't sure what to address him as to others. Her mother's 'boyfriend' seemed to simplistic a term for the place that Luke held in their lives. And, even now, when she knew the two of them were practically living together, it was all they acknowledged the relationship to be even though it was so much more.
Tristan sized up the man with the flannel under his coat, and the backwards baseball cap, who was looking protectively at Rory and looked like he could bench press a lot. This wasn't a guy who wanted to be called 'Luke' off the bat. Since Rory hadn't included his last name, he was forced into calling him "Sir" as he shook his hand. He could hear Lorelai snickering at that behind him, but it seemed to pacify Luke a little and wipe part of the frown off his face he had had on since Tristan had been introduced.
Rory felt part of her stomach unclench as Lorelai smiled, and even Luke seemed to warm a little to Tristan. She wasn't sure why she had been nervous about introducing him, but she couldn't deny the happiness she felt that Lorelai seemed to accept him, at least on first introduction. It beat the time she had 'officially' introduced Logan to them. Luke hadn't stopped glowering the whole time, and had gotten into a minor pissing-contest with Logan as they had shook hands. Lorelai's attitude had barely even warmed beyond 'frosty'. She knew they hated him since they had caught the two of them fooling around at her grandparents vow renewal, but that had been one awkward afternoon when Logan had been here. On retrospect maybe that was half the reason he had never come back; he knew he wasn't really wanted.
"So, Tristan," Lorelai began, as they blatantly ignored the pageant going on in front of them. "Military school and the army, huh?"
He nodded, and noticed Luke looked suitably impressed at the mention of the military. "I did a tour right out of high school."
He watched Lorelai narrow her eyes playfully, "So," she asked in a hushed whisper, "Ever kill anybody?"
Rory watched Tristan freeze at the question. She knew why Lorelai had asked it, sort of a joke as that was the question that everyone, kids primarily, asked of policemen and military, or anyone who carried a gun. When Tristan choked out an answer of "No," she suddenly knew he was lying. It was part of things she had never thought of before, never really wanted to think about before. Tristan, carrying a gun, with the possibility of taking a life or having his own taken. It was easy to forget that part of things when they weren't part of your world.
She didn't notice if Lorelai had picked up on the discomfort, but she hurried on, determined to not have this turn awkward. Turning their attention to the pageant, she asked her mother, "70's theme?" The costumes were reminiscent of the disco era.
Lorelai laughed as she nodded, "My idea of an adult-themed pageant didn't stick. I mean come on, there has to be an underbelly to Stars Hollow. I bet there are lots of people with leather and handcuffs to donate for costumes."
Rory was already blushing as Lorelai leaned over and added, "I would have donated mine and Luke's stuff, but they didn't ask."
"Mom!" Rory exclaimed, embarrassed, just as Luke said her name in shock as well. She never got tired of torturing him. But, she heard Tristan laugh beside her, and the sound made her turn to him and smile.
When she turned back to her mother, she noticed Lorelai watching her with an intent look on her face. She wasn't sure what it was about, but didn't have time to contemplate on it as her mother asked, "So, not that I'm disappointed you're here, but why? I thought you were at Logan's parents until late."
"Ended early," Rory lied smoothly, or at least what she thought was smoothly. She didn't want to get into it, knowing her mother would leave it alone until she got a full explanation otherwise, and she didn't want to air Tristan's family's dirty laundry for him. She knew Lorelai was looking at her through narrowed eyes, knowing she was lying, but she didn't say anything.
She knew her mother was itching to make a crack about Logan, she could read Lorelai that well. In the end, Rory wasn't sure if it was her own disapproving look or Tristan's presence that stopped her. "We're going back to Luke's for coffee after," was all Lorelai said, smiling up at the man himself.
Luke rolled his eyes, "Apparently I'm opening up just to serve the lot of you."
"Good business," Rory tried to keep a straight face as she nodded. "A couple cups of coffee are worth all the effort. It's not like we don't have a coffee maker at home or anything."
"Sacrilege," Lorelai admonished her. "What we make is not coffee, it is sludge, whose caffeine content is it's only redeeming value. What Luke has, that's coffee."
"Coffee addicts, the lot of them," Luke grumbled.
"Come on Luke," Lorelai said with a smile, "Maybe Tristan here can be talked into having a nice cup of Earl Grey with you. I mean, it hasn't happened yet, but maybe he'll be different. Then you won't be the odd one out among the coffee drinkers of the world."
"Sorry," Tristan replied to Luke, getting caught up in the spirit of their conversation, "But you may have to last another day on your own."
"I will outlive you all," Luke declared, and Tristan found himself laughing along with Rory and Lorelai. The feeling of belonging and camaraderie shook him for a moment. He caught himself snickering when a man in a beard in front of them turned around and 'shushed' them. Of course the larger woman beside him turned around and gave him a rather lascivious look, which creeped him out a little. A blonde woman with a tall skinny man had turned around to stare at them as well.
"And, it's out," Lorelai said under her breath, and Tristan felt a little confused. She explained, nodding to the women around them, "Biggest gossips in the world. You should hear the stories they'll have about you by tomorrow. They can ferret anything out."
"I should have worn my uniform to really send them into a frenzy," Tristan commented, earning him a smile from Lorelai.
Rory smiled happily at the exchange between her mother and Tristan. Up on stage, apparently recovered from the show machine's failure, Kirk was doing what could very loosely be termed dancing to a version of Good King Wenceslas set to disco, and she had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing aloud. "I did the costumes," Lorelai told them, pointing to Kirk's bell-bottoms and tie-died shirt. Apparently his 'crown' as the title king was a bandana wrapped around his head.
Rory laughed at her mother, "It's not like it would have require much design. That whole outfit could have come straight out of your closet." Lorelai stuck her tongue out at her daughter.
It was at that point Lorelai froze, and turned to Luke, resting her hand on his forearm and smiling up at him. "I can smell it," she told him obscurely, kissing him gently on the lips.
Tristan had no idea what she was talking about, no idea what she was smelling that had her so excited. He sniffed, noticing it still just smelled like winter to him. He looked over at Rory, but she didn't seem to think there was anything out of the ordinary about her mother's statement. He got the answer to his question a moment later when flakes began to fall from the sky, despite the forecast for a dry Christmas season.
Rory smiled as her mother wrapped her arms around Luke, and leaned her head against his shoulder. Growing up with her, she knew how much Lorelai loved snow. Watching her with Luke this past year, she knew how much Lorelai had come to associate it with their relationship. She had seen the ice rink, she knew who had ploughed out her mother when there was the heavy snow-fall. As she watched them together, she was truly happy for them. It was sappy of her, but she felt that this was love in its greatest form. She wanted it to work for them so badly she ached for it. Luke, he was her mother's happiness. And she loved him too. A little embarrassed, she wiped a tear away as she watched them together, oblivious to everyone but the two of them.
Tristan wasn't watching Lorelai and Luke together, he couldn't take his eyes of Rory as she watched the two of them. He saw the dreamy look on her face, the sweet smile, the utter happiness. And as he watched the solitary tear slide down her cheek, even without fully understanding what caused it, he wanted to kiss it away. She turned to him, and when she caught him staring at her, she blushed a little.
A single flake had fallen and landed on her cheek, and without realizing what he was doing, he reached over and brushed it away gently. Slightly startled, she looked up at him surprise, and he told her a little awkwardly, "Just some snow." But in that moment, as he touched her in the midst of the falling snow, the world seemed beautiful and everything seemed possible, even a future with her. He didn't want to move as he was loathe to break the moment.
Rory didn't say anything, just fought the urge to raise her hand to the spot on her face where Tristan had touched her. It was as if at that moment she was seeing him in a way that she hadn't really considered consciously before. As a man, not just a friend. As someone whose touch she craved. Rocked by the thoughts of Tristan she had never considered before, she couldn't do more than stare wordlessly up at him.