Raising Ryan

Chapter 15 – The Test (Part 1 of 2)

Ryan wasn't surprised to find the lights on at home when he arrived, especially since it was pushing one o'clock in the morning on a school night.

Walking through the front door he also wasn't surprised to find both Sandy and Kirsten sitting on the couch waiting up for him. What did come as a surprise was the level of Sandy's frustration.

"Ryan, it's almost one o'clock in the morning. Did we not have a conversation about keeping it down to a reasonable hour on a school night?"

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. I knew you would bend the rule tonight, I didn't think you'd break it in half."

Trying to keep the waters calm, Kirsten got up and stepped up to the boys. "Sandy he said he was sorry."

"Honey don't coddle him. He's a big boy and he knows the rules and I feel, at this stage, he's just taking advantage of us."

Angry, Ryan pushed past both of them giving them each a healthy whiff of smoke from his clothes.

"Were you smoking?" Sandy asked point blank.

"No."

"Ryan, you reek from…"

"I met my brother in a pool hall Sandy. There's enough smoke in that place to flood the streets of Chino." It was only a partial lie, and that info happened to be true.

"Well talk more about this tomorrow. Get to bed, you have school in the morning."

Without looking back, Ryan left the room.

In the morning, again, it came as no surprise when Kirsten showed up in the pool house, wanting to smooth everything over.

"Morning Ryan."

"Morning," he greeted with very little enthusiasm.

Taking a deep breath, "Is there anything I need to know about last night?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because, you admitted to me that sometimes you and your brother can be…trouble…in Chino."

"Kirsten, nothing happened."

"Nothing?"

"I said nothing," he reiterated as he packed his backpack for school.

Wanting to stir the pot a bit, Kirsten picked up Ryan's jacket and started going through the pockets, on a hunch. She had just stuck her hand into the jacket's interior pocket when Ryan turned around and caught her.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Getting to the bottom of this."

"The bottom of what?"

With the pack of cigarettes in her hand, she tossed the jacket down on his bed. "This. What is this Ryan?"

"Gee, I don't know. Might be cigarettes."

"Don't you get smart with me. You were asked about this specifically last night. Why did you lie to Sandy?"

"Look, he was already angry. I didn't want to…"

"I specifically remember you saying you wish something would happen so you could see how he'd react, well, today's the day. You lied to his face and now you're going to march right into the kitchen and admit it to him."

"Like hell I am!"

"Would you like me to go get him?"

"No!"

Stepping back Kirsten floated her arm in the arm in the direction of the door.

"Why are you doing this?" Ryan pleaded.

"Because you're playing games, that's why. You want to trust Sandy but you can't. You want him to prove himself to you, but you avoid the situations that allow him to do so. Ryan, this part of your life is not going to go away. You can't keep running from it. This won't change everything or fix everything, but it's a step in the right direction." Kirsten noticed his eyes darting back and forth across the bed. He was listening. "I'll go in with you and I'll be there the whole time, but you have to own up to this." When Ryan didn't move, "Honey, what are you so afraid of?"

When he raised his head, his eyes revealed the same lost boy that had a conversation with her in the kitchen so many months back. "I'm afraid of being right. I don't want to be right about him."

"You won't be. Come on. Let's do this."

Walking in a fog, Ryan squeezed the pack of cigarettes in his hand. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Sandy was sitting at the counter eating a bagel when they walked in. Kirsten held the door open for Ryan to enter and then winked at Sandy.

"Morning. Bagel anyone?"

"Sandy, Ryan has something to tell you."

"Oh? Okay. What is it?" Glancing at Ryan, Sandy thought for sure the kid would pass out. He was pale and wide-eyed, he looked terrified.

"Go ahead Ryan," Kirsten encouraged.

"Um, yesterday…yesterday I wasn't…completely…honest with you."

"Okay."

Ryan stole a look at Kirsten, who nodded at him. Raising a shaky hand to the counter he set down the pack of cigarettes and waited for Sandy to go off. Instead of commenting, Sandy reached for the pack of cigarettes, causing Ryan to yank his arm away and back up.

"So, you did smoke yesterday?"

Ryan stared at the pack in Sandy's hand. Guilty as charged.

"Why did you do it?"

There was a lengthy silence while they waited for Ryan's response, which never came.

"Ryan," Kirsten encouraged again. "We know you usually only need a cigarette when you're upset. Did something happen?"

Ryan's eyes hadn't left Sandy's face with the exception of glancing down at the pack in his hand before returning to his face.

"Were you upset yesterday?" Sandy asked, trying to move around as little as possible.

Swallowing hard, Ryan finally nodded.

"Did something happen?" Kirsten inquired again. "It's okay to talk about it Ryan."

Backing up another step, "I got in a fight with my brother."

"And?" Sandy pressured.

"He wanted me to help him with a job. A car."

Sandy's head snapped up to meet Ryan's gaze. "He wanted you to steal a car?"

Nodding, "It had a Flatley on it."

"A what?"

"A Flatley. It's a certain kind of alarm. I know how to get past those, but he doesn't." Realizing that wasn't a good place to stop his explanation, Ryan continued. "I told him I wouldn't do it. That's what the fight was over. The car was worth a lot of money to him…and I wouldn't help him. He was angry with me."

Baffled, "Honey, why didn't you call us?" Kirsten wondered out loud.

Huffing, "And say what? 'Hi, it's me. I'm blowing off curfew because I'm sitting in a diner in Chino going through a pack of cigarettes because my brother wants me to steal a car for him?' That would have gone over well."

Sandy set the pack down and stood up. Stepping directly in front of Ryan, he reached out to put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. The move didn't sit well with Ryan who immediately ducked out of the way and relocated himself across the kitchen.

Reminding himself that Ryan was weighing everything he was going to say and do, Sandy did his best to be encouraging. "I'm proud of you kid. Well, I'm not happy about you lying about the cigarettes, but I understand why you had them. They are the lesser of the evils that you encountered last night. I'm elated that you walked away from…from doing something you know you shouldn't do. I know that probably wasn't an easy decision to make in front of your brother."

Selectively placing himself near two doorways, Ryan looked like a cat ready to bolt from the neighborhood dog. He didn't say a word. He just stood there looking at Sandy. Waiting.

"Unfortunately, I do think there's going to be a few days worth of grounding over this. You're still not getting home by curfew and even though we agreed you would probably be late, one o'clock in the morning is too late. The cigarettes are two-fold. You know you weren't supposed to be smoking and then you lied about them when I asked you about them." There was a pause before he continued, "Are they stolen?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Where did you get them?"

"Diner in Chino."

Sandy nodded. "Okay. So here's the deal. You're grounded for four days. Unfortunately, that's going to ruin your weekend, but I will allow you to play soccer. And you're going to have to do much better when it comes to curfew. I need to see you're at least trying to get home by the time we've told you to be home. Understand?"

Ryan nodded.

"Good. I've got get to the office. I'll see you guys tonight."

Pulling his briefcase off the counter, Sandy walked in Ryan's direction, on purpose, causing him to back up into the living room to get out of Sandy's way. Once he disappeared through the front door, Kirsten gave Ryan a little pep talk before sending him on his way.

"That wasn't so bad. I thought that went rather well."

Ryan's dirty look proved he didn't agree. "He's mad at me now."

"He has a right to be, you lied to him. But he talked to you, he didn't raise a hand or his voice to you. That's good isn't it?"

Ryan shrugged. "You were standing here. Maybe that's why he kept his cool."

Looking at Ryan in disbelief, "You can sit there and make all the excuses you want…he cares about you Ryan. One of these days you'll see it. Now get your stuff or you'll be late for school."

It turned out to be an unproductive day at the office for Kirsten, so she left early. Walking into the house, she noticed things were particularly quiet. She found Seth sitting at the kitchen table doing homework and after a brief exchange of greetings, she realized Ryan was nearby and talking…to someone else.

"Is he on the phone?" Kirsten asked, frustrated with his defiant ways.

"Yeah, he's outside," Seth explained, pointing with his pencil without looking up from his book. "But if he asks, you figured that out on your own. He beats me up enough I don't want him to know I narked on him."

"What is it with that kid and rules?"

"I think he just doesn't like them."

Rolling her eyes, Kirsten walked briskly out the patio door and up the steps where she found Ryan standing next to the pool with his back to her. Clearing her throat, loudly, Ryan whirled around to face her, his smile evaporating in the process.

"Sami, someone's home, I gotta go. Yeah. I'll see ya. Bye."

After the phone was clicked off, "Ryan, what are you doing? You're grounded. No phone."

"I had plans with Sami tonight. I called her to tell her I couldn't go."

This was one of those times when Ryan would bend a rule to just above the breaking point. No, he wasn't supposed to use the phone but, yes, Sami deserved to know that plans had changed. She was confident Ryan didn't see anything wrong with saying hello while he was already on the phone. Instead she chose to avoid the entire episode.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour. You can work on your homework until then."

Without giving Ryan a chance to refute her statement, she went back into the house and started going through menus to plan dinner.

Twenty minutes or so had passed and English Lit was really dragging. Since Kirsten hadn't remembered to get the phone out of his hand, he took it with him into the pool house. Glancing at it laying on his nightstand, he decided he'd had enough of homework for the time being.

Dialing quickly, he put the phone to his ear and scanned the patio for any signs of movement outside. A smile came to his face when a familiar voice answered the line.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sami, it's me."

"Ryan! What are you doing? You're going to be grounded for a month if you keep this up!"

"I know, but doing homework without you just isn't the same."

"Aw, that's sweet! But you're gonna have to do your homework alone today."

Wincing at his books, Ryan hoped Sami would change the subject, but instead, the line went quiet. Finally, Ryan spoke up.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too but that's exactly why we can't be doing this. The more you get grounded, the less time we get to spend together and I want to be with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes! There's going to be a family ordeal at my house next weekend and I want you to come over. You can't do that if you're grounded," she reminded him.

"Family ordeal? Why does that sound like something I don't want to do?"

"You mean because it has the word family in it?"

"No. Because it has the word ordeal in it!"

Both teens laughed at the miscommunication.

"Seriously, I want you to meet my Mom and my Gram, she's the sweetest person on earth."

Hesitantly, "I don't know. People don't…people don't usually like me once they learn who I am and what I've done."

"I don't plan on spending the day talking about your past so unless you're going to be the one telling stories…"

"Not likely."

"Well, there you have it. Besides, I'm learning about you and I'm crazy about you!"

Ryan could feel his cheeks blush with embarrassment.

"And don't say anything like, 'Well, you don't know everything yet!' I know enough!"

A knock at the pool house door made Ryan's heart jump. "Sami, hold on a minute." Before he had a chance to shove the receiver under his pillow, Seth appeared.

"Are you on the phone again? My Mom's gonna kill you."

Cupping his hand over the phone, "She's not going to find out…is she, Seth?"

Catching Ryan's drift, "No, no of course not. That wouldn't be good for her and it would definitely be bad for…me. Anyways, I'm supposed to tell you that dinner is ready."

"I'll be right there."

Dinner was set out on the table and everyone was filling their dishes, everyone accept Ryan, who was still missing from the table.

"Seth, didn't you tell Ryan it's time to eat?" his mother asked.

"I did, he said he'd be right in."

"I'll go get him."

"NO! Mom, that's, that's okay. He'll be in. He will."

Suspicious of her son's reaction, "What was he doing?"

"Homework, I guess, books all around, I don't know."

"Fine, then I'll take him a dish and he can eat in his room."

"Mmmm, no. That's not good either. He'll come in when he's ready."

"What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything Mom."

"Fine, then I'm going to tell him to come in and eat."

"If you interrupt his call again, he's going to get pissed…I did NOT just say that…"

"What call?"

"It's nothing."

"Is he on the phone again? Ugh! That child! He is all about pushing limits today."

Throwing her dishtowel down on the counter, Kirsten prepared to confront Ryan, again until Sandy intervened.

"I…will go get him."

Both Seth and Kirsten watched as Sandy jogged up the steps to the pool house and waited for the fireworks to go off.

Inside the pool house, Ryan had lost track of how much time had elapsed, still lost in conversation with Sami.

Without knocking, Sandy pushed open the door and allowed it to slam behind him. The interruption caught Ryan off guard as well as at a loss for words.

"Hang up. Now," Sandy instructed sternly.

Saying goodbye to Sami, Ryan did as he was told and waited for the fallout.

"Give it to me." Sandy held his hand out and waited for Ryan to stand up and pass the phone to him. "You were told to come in to dinner. Let's go." When Ryan didn't move, "Come kid, everyone's waiting." Reaching out, he put his arm on Ryan's shoulder…and the fireworks began.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Ryan hollered. Twisting away from Sandy's grip, he put both hands on Sandy's chest and shoved, forcing Sandy to take a few steps backwards to keep from falling.

Sandy's heavy eyebrows lowered in frustration. Ryan's eyes narrowed, prepared for anything. He'd crossed the line now by laying his hands on Sandy first. Surely he'd come after now. Ryan stood with his chest heaving nervously, waiting for Sandy's response.

"That's not going to work Ryan. I can take anything you can dish out. I know you want to see what I'm made of…well kid, you're looking at it. This is me. You think you've got enough to make me lash out? It's not going to happen. It's not my style. You're so wrapped up in turning me into what you think men are, that you're ignoring who I am." Sandy hesitated to let the meaning of his words sink into Ryan's thoughts. "I'm not, at all happy about you shoving me. I'm hurt more than anything. I'm…I'm going to go out for a walk. I guess it would be best if we didn't eat dinner together tonight."

When the door to the pool house clicked closed, Ryan let himself sink slowly down onto his bed. What had he done? What the hell was he thinking? This was the man that got him out of Juvie, the man that gave him a home. Kirsten, Seth, Sandy, there were his world right now. He may as well have gone out and stolen that car with Trey. What he did to Sandy was inexcusable and now he could only sit and wonder if it could cost him everything.

(TBC)…

A/N – Part 2 of 'The Test' coming at you shortly! (It's a damn big test, took some time to organize!): D