Raising Ryan
Chapter 17 – The Calm After The Storm
"Pulling! It's pulling!" Ryan complained, squirming.
"Easy kid, easy. You're doing great Ryan, just look at me. Is it just pulling or does it hurt? Are you in pain?" Sandy asked, keeping his voice even and calm.
Ryan's eyes searched the ceiling while he considered the sensation in his injured hand.
"I feel pull…pulling."
"Okay. That's just the stitches. They're closing the cuts. They're almost done. Hang in there kid, we're almost outta here."
"-kay. Okay."
Swallowing hard, Ryan concentrated on Sandy's shirtsleeve. He turned his head to avoid seeing what the doctor was doing to his hand. He didn't want to know.
Sandy monitored the doctor's progress and allowed himself to relax a bit when he noticed the procedure was coming to an end. With his hand still wrapped tightly in Ryan's hand, and his other hand still attempting to, soothingly, stroke Ryan's hair, he continued to talk to Ryan.
"We're almost done. About, three or four more stitches and we're outta here kid." Sandy recognized a flicker of relief in the boy's eyes.
Just a few short minutes later, the doctor confirmed Sandy's statement. "Okay folks. We're all done here. You did good kid. I'll be right back with his release and the instructions for the stitches."
Ryan jumped at the doctor's hand on his shoulder. He'd had enough and he wanted out. Pulling his hand away from Sandy's grasp, he bent his legs and tried to roll off the table.
"Easy. Sit up slow Ryan." Wrapping his arm around Ryan's back, Sandy helped him sit up. "Sit there for just a minute longer kid. I don't want you to feel woozy."
"I'm fine," Ryan disagreed, trying to get past Sandy and off the table.
"Ryan…Ryan, listen to me." Putting his hands up in front of Ryan, he stopped him from getting down. "You're done kid. You don't have to do anything else. We're gonna get out of here in just a couple more minutes. The doctor just needs to sign your release. Okay?"
Cradling his bandaged hand, Ryan nervously avoided eye contact with Sandy.
"You okay son? How's that hand? If it's smarting, we'll get something from the doctor for…"
"You didn't hit me."
His statement caught Sandy by surprise and he wasn't sure what to expect after that. The two locked eyes on each other. For once Sandy wasn't sure what to say and he was thankful to see Ryan had something on his mind.
"You didn't hit me…and you didn't let them…tie me down. AJ, he'd…" Ryan stalled, unsure of how much information he wanted to share. Considering what he and Sandy had survived together, he owed him one. "I've…I've been through a lot. I've had so many visits to hospitals, I could walk through Chino General with my eyes closed. When the hospital started asking questions, AJ stopped taking me there and started taking me to this clinic to get fixed up. AJ used to…he used to tell the guy to not give me any anesthetic, that I'd get a bad reaction from it. He wanted me to hurt even more than I did when I walked in the door. The guy used to try to talk him out of it, but AJ'd offer him drugs so he'd go along with the program. AJ would tell him I was a problem and that it would be wise to use restraints to tie me down so I'd hold still. He'd tell him that I was a punk kid and that I'd make his job hard, that he was just trying to give him a heads up on how combative I could be. Tied down with no painkillers, who the hell wouldn't be combative? Couple of times I actually passed out from the pain and AJ got mad at me because I slept through it all. At least, that's how he saw it. After the third or fourth visit, it just became routine." Ryan shuddered at the memories and looked away from Sandy for a moment, trying to regroup. "When you brought me here, I assumed…" he paused. "You've been telling me the truth all along. I was afraid to believe you. But, if you really were like AJ, that would have come out today. Here, at the hospital."
Stunned by Ryan's story, "Ryan, what kind of doctor would ever agree to…"
"A Chino doctor at a low income clinic…who happens to be hiding a drug addiction."
"Jesus. Kid, I so sorry for what you've…"
"No, don't. I'm the one that's sorry. All this time…everything you've tried to do for me…" Raising his head, Ryan's eyes took on a serious stare. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure. Anything."
"I think…I think we'll be okay now. I mean…I want us to be, okay now. I just…don't screw this up Sandy."
"I won't. You mean too much to me. I promise, I will never raise my hand to you and I will never allow anyone to hurt you. Nobody hurts my family."
Swallowing hard, Ryan nodded. "Okay. I trust you."
Leaning forward, Sandy embraced Ryan, rubbing his back reassuringly. Tears formed in his eyes when Ryan returned the embrace.
Letting go of Ryan, "I don't know about you kid, but I'm ready to get the hell out of here. Where the hell is this guy with the forms?"
"Mmm. Probably on the phone with AJ, trying to ruin a very important moment."
Chuckling, "Nothing can ruin this kid. We're family."
Kirsten was frantic with worry. The soccer game had ended hours before and there was no sign of the boys. She'd left countless messages for Sandy on his cell phone, which he wasn't answering or returning. She drew in a deep breath when she heard a greeting bellow through the house.
"Hello," Sandy called through the foyer.
"Sandy? Oh my God, I've been calling your for hours! Where have you…"
Striding into the living room, she took one look at Ryan, his bandaged hand and his red eyes and she about fainted.
"Oh no! What happened? Ryan? Honey? Are you okay?" Rushing up to him, she cradled his face and gently examined his hand.
"Yeah."
"What happened? Oh I knew I shouldn't have missed this game!"
"Kirsten, don't start," Ryan warned.
"Well look at you! You're all frazzled and upset and your hand and…"
"And for the first time Sandy and I are okay," Ryan announced publicly.
Stiffening her posture she looked at the men before her. Even Seth was quiet, a sure sign that this appeared to be the truth.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I guess maybe it was a good thing you missed the game today. At least so far it seems…okay."
Kirsten stood dumbfounded before the trio.
"I'm going to get cleaned up."
Sandy seized the opportunity to talk to his wife alone. "Seth, why don't you give Ryan a hand?"
"A hand? That's funny. I think Ryan is old enough to shower alone Dad."
"I know that, but maybe he could use some help covering those bandages with plastic wrap so they don't get wet in the shower."
"You want to talk to Mom alone…I get it," Seth added shuffling off.
"Seth, I didn't mean…"
"It's okay Dad. Saying Ryan wants help was a dead give away…Ryan never wants help. With anything. And I'm just telling you now, if he hurts me, it's on you."
Smirking at their birth son as he left the room, Kirsten turned to her husband to fill her in on all the important details.
"So what happened? Is he really okay?"
"I think so. We had a, a moment. You know how he is about hospitals. I guess, AJ used to…tell the physician at the clinic that he didn't need anything for pain and then they'd time him down during the procedure to hold him still."
"Oh my God," Kirsten whispered.
"It wasn't easy to calm him down but I promised him I wouldn't let them hurt him and I wouldn't let them tie him down."
"Sandy…"
"He said he trusted me. He said it twice. He also made sure to warn me not to screw this up." Sandy snickered at his own remark. It was such a Ryan thing to do, to cover all the angles.
"Do you think he means it?"
"I do. You didn't see him in there. He was absolutely hysterical. Of his options, it was either me, or the doctor. He took a chance on picking me. The first thing he said afterwards was that I didn't hit him."
"When I think about what those people put him through…"
"That's over with. He's with us now and I'd say he just turned another corner."
Entering the pool house, Seth waved the obligatory roll of plastic wrap in the air. "I've been told by the 'rents to mummify you before your shower.
"What?" Ryan winced, not liking Seth's explanation.
"I'm supposed to help you," he clarified, causing an even more disgusted look to take over Ryan's face. "Look, I'm not following you into the shower with a loofa, or anything like that. I'm to wrap your hand then your own your own. Cool?"
"I hate fucking plastic wrap."
"I know buddy. I'll do this as quick as possible and then I'll be on my way."
Less than happy about the idea, Ryan poked his way to the foot of his bed and plopped down, holding out his left hand so Seth could do his handy work.
"Don't make it too tight. This hurts like hell," Ryan instructed, watching Seth wind the plastic wrap around his bandaged hand.
Finishing up with the plastic wrap, Seth reached into his back pocket and pulled out some electrical tape.
"What the hell is that for?" Ryan inquired.
"You need waterproof tape to keep that on," Seth garbled with the end of the tape caught between his teeth.
"I'm not keeping this on for a month Seth."
"I know." Cutting the strip free, he wrestled with finding the right angle in which to apply the tape. "Okay, um. Maybe if I…no. What about…no good either. Here, turn your arm over," he instructed sitting down next to Ryan and applying the tape. It was in the middle of cutting the second strip that he froze, completely panicked.
"What?" Ryan asked unaware of any problem. "What's the matter?"
"I…I…um, it's my gluteus maximus."
"What?" Ryan answered sharply, on the verge of losing patience.
"I'm…sitting…on your bed…" Wrapping his hands around the roll of tape, he held it close to his chest. "Just…don't hit me in the face, okay?" Wincing, he hunched up his shoulders and prepared for the impact.
Sighing, Ryan couldn't believe he'd actually trained Seth to be afraid to sit on his bed. It was almost humorous. "I'm not going to hit you."
"You're not?" Seth asked, shocked and opening only one eye.
"No. It's okay."
"What?"
"It's okay," Ryan repeated, sighing again. "Can we just finish this already?"
"Dude, are you feeling okay?" Seth wondered out loud, placing his hand on Ryan's forehead.
"You wanna keep that hand?"
Snatching his hand back right away, "I'm just…you know, wondering."
"Wondering what?"
"Well, first you crossed a huge bridge with my Dad this afternoon and now…now you're letting me sit on your bed. Ryan, this is…monumental!"
Ryan allowed half of his face to smile. "Yeah well, the same rule I gave your Dad applies to you…don't screw this up."
"And just so we're clear on this, what, exactly, would constitute 'screwing this up'," Seth inquired, adding the last piece of tape to Ryan's hand.
Leaning into Seth, "If I catch you dancing on my bed…I'll see to it that that roll of tapes finds it way around your neck." Raising his eyebrows, Ryan sealed his point.
Placing his hand protectively around his throat, "But…Ryan…"
"Oh, I can make it fit," he threatened.
"Okay then. I think I'll just leave you to your shower. I'm going to…go…bury this," Seth stated, holding up the role of tape.
With one last sideways glance, Ryan disappeared into the bathroom and Seth went back into the house, where he found his parents in the kitchen.
"Everything okay?"
"Dad, when are you going to learn? Ryan and 'ok' don't belong in the same sentence."
"Sure they do. How is he?"
"Actually he's…he's okay. He only threatened my hand and my neck, one time each and he let me sit on his bed."
"Well, I'm glad we got that straightened out," Sandy mocked.
"Mock me if you must, but that was a big step on the brotherhood front. The only people he allows in his bed are girls." Off his father's look, "Don't even go there. I don't plan on donning a dress anytime soon."
Kirsten waited a few more minutes before slipping out to the pool house to check on Ryan. She found him angrily wrestling with the plastic wrap on his bandage.
"Oh Ryan wait, you'll rip your bandage." Locating the seams, Kirsten gently pulled against the tape on both ends of the plastic wrap freeing Ryan's injured hand from Seth's handy work. "There. How's that?"
Ryan nodded before sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Kirsten asked.
"Nothing's wrong. I know you're here to ask me a hundred and one questions about what happened at the hospital so…go ahead."
It was his demeanor that made Kirsten realize she needed to ask the right things, to not tamper with the strides he'd made that afternoon.
"Well, I'm really only interested in the serious stuff," she admitted, drawing a glare from Ryan. "I mean it. You took one for the team Ryan, did anyone else get spikes in their hand? I doubt it."
"They're called cleats."
"Well come on, did you guys kick their butts or what? What was the score?"
A child-like grin spread over Ryan's face. Kirsten always was good at saying the right thing at the right time. It was the main reason he took to her in the first place.
"We were killing them. It was eleven to three when I left the game. It didn't take much to get under their goalie's skin and he just went to pieces after that. Made the rest of his team pretty moody."
"Damn I missed a good game!" Kirsten emphasized her disappointment by slapping her hand against her leg. "That's it. No more business on game days."
"Yeah well, you can't be everywhere at once. We'll just have to kick ass again next week."
"Okay. That works for me. I'll be there," she smiled. "Now come on inside, it's time to eat."
Standing up to follow Kirsten inside, "Hey, thanks for…not making such a big deal out of things."
"I didn't make a big enough deal out of missing the game? Because I'm really upset that I missed…"
"No. About…other…things."
"I know, and I understand. Let's go. Time to eat."
They'd barely entered the kitchen when the phone rang. Seth snatched it off the counter, greeted the caller and motioned to Ryan. "It's napkin girl," he whispered.
Yanking the phone out of Seth's hand, Ryan disappeared into the living room for some privacy.
"Hey."
"Hey Ryan. How are you?"
Looking down at his hand, "Okay. It's been a long day," he sighed.
"How was your game?"
"Long," he evaded.
"I can't talk long, but I just wanted to remind you about the dinner at my house tomorrow night. I'd really like you to come and meet my family."
"I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure if I'd…"
"Fit in? You'll be just fine. And I'll be right by your side the entire time. Okay?"
Nodding into the phone, "Yeah. Okay. I'll be there."
"Great! I'll see you tomorrow."
Taking his seat at the dinner table, Ryan was thrown right back into life in a real family.
"Seth, can you cut Ryan's dinner up for him?" Kirsten commented innocently from across the kitchen.
But one look at Ryan with his knife in his hand had Seth thinking otherwise.
"So now might be a really good time to get a few things out in the open. Mom, Dad, I know you're trying to make things easier for Ryan and that's really sweet and all but…well…first of all Ryan doesn't really do 'sweet'…unless he's with napkin girl. Secondly, I'd prefer to be left out of the helping-Ryan-against-his-will thing because it only leads to him threatening my life and or various body parts. And Ryan, I need you to know that I would do anything for you and I only offer to do the things I know you don't want help with because the 'rents force me to do so. There. I've said my peace."
The adult Cohens shared a look before Sandy told everyone the way it was going to be. "I respect that son, and Ryan, I respect your need for independence, however, for the next week or so we're all going to have to work together to make sure that hand heals properly. Ryan, that means someone needs to wrap that bandage before you can shower. And the doctor said no pressure on that hand for the next two weeks and that means you'll be treated like royalty when it comes to dinnertime fair. And please don't kill Seth, he's only doing this because we're forcing him to."
The last comment got a snicker out of Ryan. "Okay. I'll try to cooperate." Proving his point, he set his knife down and pushed his dish near Seth.
"Right. Got it. Cooperation. How little do you want your Cordon Bleu cut up?"
"My right hand still works Seth."
"See Dad? First thing out of his mouth – always a threat!"
Ryan leaned onto the kitchen table, making Seth lean away from him.
"Right. Chino sized bites. Coming right up."
Late that night, Ryan lay in bed, staring at the door when Sandy walked in.
"Hey kid."
"Hey. What are you doing up?"
"I was thinking about your hand, brought you some Advil. I thought, incase it started bothering you during the night, you wouldn't have to get up. I'll just leave them on your night…"
"Actually, can I have those?"
"Sure. I'll get you a bottle of water."
A quick trip into Ryan's mini-fridge produced a bottle of water and Ryan quickly swallowed the pills.
"Does it hurt that bad? Should I get you an ice pack?"
"No. I'll be okay," he answered hurriedly. Not wanting Sandy to read into anything, "I just meant that it's a little sore. The Advil was probably a good idea."
"Okay. Well if you change you mind, let us know or help yourself. Sleep tight kid. I'll see you tomorrow."
Ryan watched through the glass as Sandy went back to the main house. For the first time in a long time he felt truly comfortable. His relationship with Sandy was always delicate, tedious, and exhausting even. But today they both learned about each other and Ryan hoped it was a relationship that would continue on its current course.
Rolling over he found himself staring at the glimmer from the swimming pool that was reflecting on his ceiling. His mind turned to Sami and he tried to prepare himself for what to expect tomorrow at the dinner. Sami liked him for who he was. Maybe her family would feel the same way. Maybe. Sami. Napkin girl. He smiled at the thought of her. She made him feel good about himself and that was quite a feat considering their relationship wasn't based on sex. Sex always made him feel good. He'd never been with a girl he wasn't using for sex. Sami was definitely different and he liked that.
With the Advil finally taking the edge off of the sting in his hand, he dozed off.
(TBC)…
A/N – Sorry for the delay y'all. RL has been a bear lately! Good news is, the next chapter is already started. The bad news is…the end is in sight! I had never imagined this one going this long!
I'm also looooong overdue in saying 'thank you' to those who've been pimping my goods! Thank you! Thank you! For taking the time to do so!