From Irk with Love.
Shouted down your ear by Invader Sideos. This is a ZADR parody but not written to really offend anyone. It kinda gives a clue to how any future fics of mine will be written.
Idon't own Zim. But I do on my DVD shelf.
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Dib lay on his bed looking at the ceiling listening to the last of his family go to sleep. He needed to make sure that no-one was going to walk in while he was in bed. As he heard the last door close and the last click of the lights going off he hurriedly tip-toed to his door wanting to make totally sure that no-one was listening in or spying on him.
He stood there for a minute or two listening to the silence and then after he was finally satisfied with the stillness in his house he tip toed, more slowly then last, back to his bed. There he pulled out a small metal box with a lock on the front. Dib smiled in anticipation as he pulled out a small key from a pocket inside his trench coat. He unlocked the box, opened it, and began to look thru the contents. The box itself despite the security did not contain any items out of the ordinary; there was an old child's book, a video titled 'big tooth vampire footage' and several photos. It was a certain photo that Dib was looking for, a photo of the biggest thing in his life since his birth. A photo of his true obsession, his true calling, his true hearts desire...
Suddenly his eyes grew wide and his mouth smiled with pure joy as he lifted a small picture from the messy pile. He held it in front of him like it was the Holy Grail. The photo was of a small child with large black boots, rubber gloves, an elvis styled hair do and small grey-blue eyes. Except this was not the only things noticeable on the picture for the child also had green skin, 3 fingers, no ears or nose. However this did not seem to bother Dib he looked at it for a couple of moments longer before embracing the picture in a tight hug and kissing it several times in succession. Looking at it longingly he sighed and whispered.
"Oh if only I could do that to the real thing and not just a photo". He flopped onto his bed and continued looking sadly at the photo "Zim...if only I could tell you how much I care for you, how much my very being call's out for you". He placed the photo on his heart and looked sadly once again at the ceiling. Then his expression changed to a look of mischievous glee "But tomorrow that's all going to change. Tomorrow Zim, is going to be the best day of your life and do you know why?"
He whispered at the picture as if talking to the real person "Because you're finally going to be mine and I'm finally going to reveal all my deepest feeling's to you, were going to be so happy together..." and with that he kissed the photo again said goodnight to it and
placed it back into the box snuggling up in his bed to dream wonderful dreams of his one true love.
"IM A FAIRY!" G.I.R ran across the top of the base with his new sucker feet. "I'm like a wonder spider thing!" he cheered as he continued to run manically across the roof. Below him sat his master the little green menace known as Zim
"G.I.R be quiet! I'm working on my next AMAZING plan to annihilate the human waste bugs" he sat in his favourite swivel chair working tirelessly on his new invention the "Robot Seagull Laser Doom Bird will be the ULTIMATE weapon! I've seen how much the earth scum run and cower from these snack stealing feather beasts!" he voice raised high as he pictured the terrifying wrath his creation would soon wreck. He gave another trade mark manic evil laugh before swivelling round.
"G.I.R? G.I.R? Where are you?" It had suddenly gone very quite and quite meant two things. Ether G.I.R had discovered something new to destroy or... Zim heard a sudden snoring sound above him and looked up to see a sleeping G.I.R stuck by his feet to the ceiling. Zim smiled, finally a bit of peace and quiet, at least until G.I.R remembered that he was a robot and he couldn't sleep. Zim stretched back into his swivel chair as he took a break from building the wings on the Doom Seagull. His mind wandered onto one of his favourite subjects. Dib. Zim closed his eyes and smiled warmly as Dib entered his mind.
"Ahhh" he said to himself "What I wouldn't do if you were here Dib. If only I had you here with me we could do so many things...I could drill a laser thru that unusually large head of yours, or we could see how long it took to reach the temperature were your skin melts off" Zim sat there for a moment longer, his eyes closed smiling to himself as he imagined terrible, horrific little things he could do to his arch-nemesis.
Suddenly "GIVE ME A HUGGG" SLAM! G.I.R landed on top of his master seemingly crushing his head in a super tight hug. Zim staggered round screaming and trying to pull G.I.R off until G.I.R spotted a piggy and ran off to play. Zim looked angrily at his robot slave before sighing and returning to his work.
The next day Zim stormed into his house "AGGRR. G.I.R were are you? I need something to take my anger out on" He threw off his disguise and stamped angrily into the kitchen were G.I.R was in his dog suit swimming in butter.
"What's the matter master?" G.I.R asked kindly eager to impress his enraged owner. "OHH GARR it's that damm...why are you swimming in butter?" Zim, his anger momentarily forgotten looked strangely at his insane assistant.
"Oh that's to keep the flies away" G.I.R replied matter-of-factly
"Riiight...err what was I yelling about again? Oh yes that DAMM Did stink-beast-dookie!" Zim returned to his rage and G.I.R ducked slightly in his little butter bowl. "He was acting so...WIERD today all nice and smiley and GARR happy! It was like he knew something and he wasn't telling me! His glories most superior leader. ZIM!" G.I.R had never seen his owner so angry before. "And at lunch he came over and SAT with me or he did until I attacked him with my tray! But he didn't seem to care GRRAAAA! I hate him so much! RAAAAA!" Zim was now stood on the table when his four spider legs shot out of his PAK and blew a very large hole in the wall which the computer instantly repaired. Zim stood getting his breath back from that outburst when there was a sudden ring at the door.
"YAY a visitor for my butter pool party!" G.I.R jumped out of his butter bowl and ran to the door but was stopped by a still fuming Zim.
"G.I.R stop! I need to put my disguise back on." and after a quick change he walked over to the door pressing a purple button in the middle of it to turn it see thru and reveal a nervous looking Dib on the other side. Zim's anger instantly disappeared "The foooolish meat head has delivered himself directly into my wrath. G.I.R! Get me my seagull…" his eyes narrowing dangerously and an evil grin appearing on his lips.
"Yaaay I get to use the birdie thingy!" G.I.R shot off in to the kitchen and down the bin. Zim checked himself over one more time before opening the door.
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Wooo yea...superduper update n all...yup...cough