Jak and Daxter Go Crazy… Part 2!
Randomness is Bliss
Hey, we're back! (Actually, Christy's currently on leave so I had to replace her with my loser sister Kristen) Kris: I like eggs! Christy: (pops outta nowhere) What! You replaced me? (Jez: Shut up! (pushes C out of story) ) Daxter: Well, at least it's a change of pace… Jak: Yeah… whatever…
Don't get too excited guys… the part 2 hasn't even started yet… and now it has (dum da dum)!
Jak and Daxter had just decided to make rabice-gravy for the group (and they did). Unfortunately, because of this … Keira got sick, Torn & Ashelin converted to vegetarianism, Vin got hives (because everyone knows that he's allergic to rabice), Tess got rabies, and Samos had a heart attack that sent him to the terminal. In conclusion… Jak and Daxter were never allowed to cook dinner again… EVER! (Keira: Bad boys…) J/D: sry… Keira.. (Keira suddenly turns green and rushes to bathroom). That can't be good.
(Kristen: (leers at Daxter) Awww.. you're so cute! (lunges at him and grabs him) SOOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE! (CHOKING HIM) Daxter : GAAAAHHHH! (getting throttled) . Okay…. Whatever. (Christy: (finally gets back from where ever she was) Hey! I'm back from wherever I was!) Jak: Thank god! Can you please talk some sense into those two? Christy: Sorry… I don't have any sense either. Jak: What? You actually admit that about yourself? Suddenly, Christy pulled off her face, which was actually a mask. It wasn't Christy at all, but rather, Daxter in disguise! (Daxter: What? How can that be Daxter when I'm right here?) Because you're not really Daxter. Daxter: What? I'm not? No, you're actually a chicken! (Daxter turns into a chicken) Dax: cluck cluck! Cluck cluck, cluck cluck cluck! Cluck cluck cluck…cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck! Everyone else: (applause) WOW! SUCH A BRILLIANT VOICE! THAT SPEECH WAS AWESOME! Jak: what speech?… all he did was cluck! Jez: (ignoring) and now for his standing ovation! Dax: (in front of audience in giant assembly-hall) CLUCK, CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK! All: yeah! YOU ROCK!
Jak: I have entered the twilight zone… Well, besides the fact that Daxter is now a speech-ranting chicken, the others are indisposed, Jak's having hysterics, Christy and Kristen can't make up their minds if they're here or not, and the narrator speaks of herself in the third person… we can all assume that things are A-O-K! Jak: What are you talking about! (goes into hysterics again) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a blast resounded. Jak, Dax, Jez, Kristen and Chris all turned to the noise. "What was that?" Christy asks. "Cluck cluck?" asks Daxter. Jez: what? How can you think about hamburgers at a time like this? Dax: cluck cluck… Jez: No! We are not going to Burger World! We have to find out what that blast was! So, our random friends decide to pursue their curiosities in order to find out what the blast was. (Jez: Uh… duh that's what I said… but not so scientific). The blast came from outside the headquarters. When they looked out, they noticed that a giant banana was crashed into the side of the alley wall. Jak: WHAT? A BANANA? WHAT HAVE THESE PEOPLE BEEN SMOKING? (Daxter the chicken pulls out pipe and sucks on it.) Daxter… no…. tobacco kills…! (Jez: Don't worry, it's just a bubble-pipe!)
Hey, guys… getting back to the banana… Christy: Oh, right… sorry, Mr. Narrator. Jez: Not really… and who are you calling a MR? I am not a homo! Christy: You're right… you're bi. Jez: ……………………. ! Jak looks a little creeped out, but other wise says nothing (it safer that way). Two redheads are more dangerous than trying to domesticate a metal-head. Jez & Christy: We heard that! (hits Kristen) Kristen: Why hit me? Jez: Because I'm the narrator, and obviously I can't hit myself… K: Then, why say that about yourself. (Jez gets fumed… "I said shut up" (no you didn't ) … bonks her with same 2-litr bottle that she had hit Christy with in chapter 1) Kristen: Ow! Why do I get the abuse? Jak: Are we ever going to do som'n about the banana? Daxter: (suddenly back to normal) I know! Banana split!
So the group used Jak's blaster-mod to splatter the banana into thousands of banana splits. Yeah! Except, banana splits are illegal in Haven City, so they were all arrested. Jak: What? Daxter: Fight the Power! (hits Krimzon guard in face). Ashelin runs out toting salad dish and chopsticks. "Hey! That was my cousin!" (goes crazy) "Prepare to feel the wrath of my new found 'chop-stick twirling jitsu'!" …takes weird pose and twirls chopsticks in fingers. Daxter: Jitsu? This ain't Naruto lady! Jak: (no comment) … he's too weirded out. Ashelin used her newfound technique to totally kick Daxter's furry ass. Hooooooshahhh! Believe it!
So… anyway, after a long Random Day… the group decided to go to sleep. The End.
Jak: THE END? That wasn't even a real ending! Wow… we all went to sleep… real exciting… Jez: Shut up this is my story… besides, I'm getting tired of typing… Kristen: Hey! I wanna talk more! Christy: Yeah! Me too… I think Jak and Daxter are cutting into are screen time! Jez: That's our screen time… and uh, I think it's the other way around (besides… we're not even on TV) . Ashelin: That's what you think… points out hidden camera on wall. Vin, Keira, Samos, Tess and Torn all blast through the wall…, which oddly enough was made of Styrofoam. "You're on Candid Camera"! Jak: What! (goes into hysterics yet again) Dax: I thought Samos was at the hospital… Samos: (realizing this, he suddenly falls down from lack of life-support) Oh no… good-bye cruel world! (dies) Keira: Father! Samos: actually, I'm not really dead…! (because the narrator likes Samos and is eager to keep this story going if it's the last thing she does) … Okay, she's done…
At this comment, Jak has had all the hysterics and randomness that he can take and finally falls over from exasperation. But don't worry folks, Jez went to go get the 'shocker'…