A/N: Here's my Christmas present to the fanfic community. A "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody! Yaaaaaay! Wow… there's some pretty good rhymes in here. There ought to be some kind of award for people who can rhyme so amazingly. I would take it and run.
I looked at the original book as I wrote this and I think there are about three stanzas in here that I kept the same as they were in the real story. I thought it strengthened the parallel… or something… And I just had to put some KuroFai tastiness in here as well. They're just WAY too HOT to resist… drool
Anyhow, I hopes you likes.
'Twas the night before Christmas,
and throughout the place,
a look of contentment
on each sleeping face.
The boy held his princess
like a protective big brother,
While the wizard and ninja
dreamed of each other.
But, alas, no stockings
had been hung up with care,
For none of them knew
that St. Nick would come there.
The four here were travelers
from different dimensions,
Each making this journey
Though with separate intentions.
And with every new world
came a new set of traditions,
So it was hard to keep up
with all these different renditions.
For us, who know Christmas,
it may seem mind-numbing,
But none of them even knew
Santa was coming!
So the noises downstairs
Came as quite a surprise.
Each startled traveler
Quickly opened their eyes.
The ninja snatched up
His sword with a clatter,
And crept to the landing
To see what was the matter.
The wizard, called Fai,
Was at his side in a flash,
While the boy with his princess
Got ready to dash.
The wizard and ninja
Stepped off the last stair,
And looked past the corner
To see who was there.
He was dressed all in fur,
On his hat was a bell.
"There's a fat old guy in there,"
Kuro said. "What the hell?"
The man had a large sack,
Their suspicion grew stronger
And they continued to stand there
To observe a bit longer.
The old man in red
took a toy gun from his sack.
Kuro drew his sword
From the sheath on his back.
Santa's eyes—how they twinkled!
His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses,
His nose like a cherry!
The ninja however
saw none of this;
His sword hungered for blood.
His blow wouldn't miss.
Saint Nick was too fast, though,
And was spared being gored.
Instead he grabbed onto
The end of the sword.
Fai and Kurogane
just stared in surprise
as the old man bent the sword
before their wondering eyes.
He smiled at them,
And shaking his head,
Told them "hey you two kids,
Go back to bed."
"I'm not a kid!" Kurogane snapped.
"Hyu! You tell him, Kuro sama!"
Fai whistled and clapped.
Santa folded his arms,
Putting on a stern look.
"Don't make me write your names
in the 'bad children' book."
"I don't care about that," Kurogane said.
"You broke into our house,
and now you'll be dead."
"Don't you know who I am?"
Santa asked patiently.
"It's my job to bring presents
to good children, for free."
The wizard and ninja
Traded glances, perplexed.
Santa said "What is it
That has you boys looking so vexed?"
"You give kids stuff
for absolutely no reason?"
"That's right," Santa said.
"I do it each Christmas season.
And it just so happens,
I've got something for you."
He opened his sack
And began digging through.
"Fai's been a good boy
so for him, there is this.
It's called mistletoe
And it's good for a kiss."
Fai took the white berries,
With a grin on his face.
"Hang them somewhere.
Make sure to pick a good place."
The wizard then vanished
To hang up his prize.
He went, humming softly,
A look of hope in his eyes.
"But Kurogane's been bad,
and now must pay the toll.
Since you haven't been good,
I've got to give you some coal."
Fai pointed and laughed
As the ninja looked at the rock.
"Kurorin's been bad!
Well, that's no shock…"
"Shut up, you bastard!"
Kurogane shouted.
Fai said "You like being bad.
How could you have doubted?"
"Well boys," Santa said,
"I admit, it's been fun.
But I really must go now.
My work here is done."
Laying his finger
Aside of his nose,
And giving a nod,
Up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
To his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew
Like the down of a thistle.
Kuro and Fai dashed
Over to the large window
And watched him disappear
By the light of the moon-glow.
Once Santa had gone,
Fai made Kuro look
At what hung in the window
From a small silver hook.
When he saw what it was,
The ninja wished for a deep rift
For there hung the mistletoe
Santa'd given Fai as a gift.
Kuro tried to run,
He tried to get free.
Something bad soon would happen
And he knew what it'd be.
But Fai was too quick;
He caught the ninja with ease.
He held Kuro's arms down,
And sat on his knees.
Fai said, "You've been a bad puppy,
That much is true.
But I'm still going to give
My present to you."
Did he want to escape?
The true answer was no.
The little struggle he put up
Was only for show.
And as the wizard's hands moved down
To rest upon Kuro's hips,
The ninja found himself savoring
The taste of Fai's lips.
The two of them heard
Though their embrace was so tight,
Santa shout "Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night!"
A/N: I'm speaking in limericks now—boy what a pain! All this damn rhyming's gonna drive me insane! But I just can't seem find a way to make myself quit. You see, after writing this story, I've grown used to it. Anyhow, I had fun doing this; I hope it was fun for you too. Now be a good puppy and leave me a review