You
By ScarletSky
Pairing: KaRe implied, but nothing really couple-y
Warnings: mentions of Shounen-Ai, who cannot take that: you better get away soon
Disclaimer: If Bakuten Shoot Beyblade were mine not only would there be more Ka/Re scenes, there would definitely be some lemony action as well between the two... So, sadly, Beyblade isn't mine.
Watching
the stars blinking brightly in the darkness above I couldn't help
but feel soothed.
Thoughts
had been chasing me all day, thoughts about you and what you do to
me.
Thoughts
about you and just why you made my knees go weak.
This is
weakness. I know it is.
I never
smile. I never waver in my opinion.
I
am never sympathetic. Kinomiya even calls me the Ice-Prince –
sometimes when he thinks I'm not listening and sometimes when he
knows I am.
But when I
see your beautiful smooth lips curve upwards into a smile I can't
help but smile back at you. Most times I turn around, try to hide it,
but when I face you again you just send the next smile my way as if
knowing what I so desperately want to keep to myself.
When you
leave your black shiny hair down, which happens more often nowadays,
I feel the urge to touch it, comb through it and feel the silkiness
with my own fingers.
How often did you asked me for help when it needed to be brushed? I can't actually remember but knowing you asked me instead of the others makes my head spin unnaturally and I realize: this is weakness.
When you laugh, your eyes are laughing as well, blinking, brightened by an inner fire, and your voice is so soft and at the same time so strong. I'll never get over that sound; I'm feeling the goosebumps on my skin by the mere thought of it.
When
I'm yelling at Kinomiya for what ever stupidity he did, knowing I
am right, I can feel your disapproving glance on me and I wish to
stop; if only to have you smile at me happily. But I can't – I
just can't. So I keep yelling, knowing all the same that I'm
losing you more and more even though I don't "have" you at all.
And I remember Balkov's lectures:
this is
weakness.
At that point you step in, touching my shoulder as if you knew that it calms me down greatly, as if you knew, I wouldn't lash out and hurt you for touching me. Everybody else would be scared shit of me – too scared to touch me even if I'm not ripping Kinomiya's head off.
And
therefore I am proud of you when I should be angry and I notice:
this is
weakness
When you panic on the flights, pressing your nails into my arm and leaving scratches deep enough to bleed I can see Kinomiya and Mizuhara cringe, probably expecting me to snarl or throw a punch at you. Would you believe me if I said I couldn't do so? Even if I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to harm you in either way – emotionally or physically.
Instead I'll grab your hand – you'll look at me like a scared little kitten, then you'll fix your eyes onto our joined hands and I'll feel you press my fingers in a silent thank you.
It's
always like that, as well as I'll never say anything to you about
these incidents.
Nor will
you.
I know this is weakness, feelings are weakness – they make you yearn and vulnerable.
Then again, you aren't weak - you did beat Bryan, didn't you? - and you are definitely not like me. And while I'm confused, thinking it over again and again, only to find myself still unable to wrap my mind around this, I can imagine your smiling face and your gentle gestures and know: before I find the end of this you'll already know, because that is who you are.
The End 31-10-05