Peter walked into the living room smelling really bad.

"Peter, we are going out to dinner, why do you smell like fish?" Lois asked, slightly annoyed.

"They peed on me, Lois!" Peter whined.

"That's it!" Lois shouted. "I am sick of hearing you whine and complain! That's all you do, when you're not being completely stupid! I am going out for a break, and when I get back, I expect this house to be clean, everyone to smell good and look good, or I'm leaving for good!"

She stomped out the front door. What she didn't know was that Stewy and Eliza had stowed away in her car, and they knew Lois would explode after Peter came back from fishing with the stench of mechanical fish pee. They followed her in the car to the Drunken Clam. When she got out, they jumped out the trunk and slipped in with her. She met some friends in the corner of the bar, and sat with them. Everything was working well for Eliza and Stewy; Quagmire had arrived and was heading towards Lois.

To make a long, bad, story short, Quagmire bought her many drinks, she was way too drunk, and they got married at midnight. Eliza caught it on tape for Lois to see when she woke up in Quagmire's bed the next day.

"Holy Chris's monkey in the closet!" Lois screamed. Cuts to Chris's monkey sitting on a throne and the world bowing down to him. Then it cuts back to Lois. "What am I doing here?"

Quagmire appeared, put the video in the VCR, and set a breakfast plate on her bed.

"It's our wedding video, my lady," he answered. Lois screamed. Now she was stuck with him, because she knew he wouldn't sign divorce papers. "Do you want coffee or tea?" Quagmire asked her. Lois fainted.

She woke up an hour later, thinking it was a dream, but then Quagmire appeared again. She screamed again. "What's wrong with you? Giggity giggity!" Quagmire asked.

Lois walked into the kitchen. She took some vitamin pills, and sat down near the knife box. She looked at the shining blades. Would it be okay if she decided to leave both her ignorant ex-husband and this perverted husband? She sighed; she guessed it would be okay. She took one of the smaller ones, that wouldn't do the job. She picked up a larger one, she would use that one. Stewy and Eliza stood in the shadows, anticipating the moment the blade crushed through her heart.

A few moments later, the knife was pushed through her body. She lay lifeless against the kitchen counter. Stewy and Eliza jumped for joy. They squealed and laughed maniacally. Nothing was better than accomplishing a lifelong goal. Quagmire stepped into the kitchen.

"LOIS!" he cried. "Oh, what has brought you to this deep dark cave?" He sobbed over the body more.

A few days later, there was a funeral service for her. Eliza and Stewy had dressed accordingly, just to blend in. Quagmire mourned closest to the casket, while Peter ate from the buffet table, Meg stared admiringly at a boy, and Chris ran away from the evil monkey. Stewy and Eliza stood in a corner shouting for joy.

Eliza wandered off and saw a flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned toward it and heard a voice. "Eliza," it called. "Come closer."

So she went closer, "Who are you?"

"I am your conscious, I have come to haunt you for the wrong you have committed," the voice said.

"Oh bloody, no!" Eliza shouted. "I don't want to be haunted by a horrific creature!"

"You deserve it!"

"No, please no!" Eliza shouted. No one seemed to hear her.

"Eliza, I will give you one last chance to make things right," the voice relented.

"What do I have to bloody do?" Eliza asked.

"I will turn back time, you have to let me. Take Stewy to his room and we will go back to the beginning of this adventure."

Eliza obeyed, capturing Stewy and tying him down to a chair in his room. There was a large gust of wind and when Eliza came to it, she was at her house, neighboring Stewy's.

"Daddy!" she shouted at the sight of Nigel. "You're back!"

"I never went anywhere, my spot of tea. Now let's go invite Lois and Stewy to your party!" Nigel answered.

"Daddy," Eliza moaned. "I do not want them to come to my party."

"Okay, spot of tea, we will enjoy our other company," Nigel answered.

Eliza winked at the screen as her dad carried her off. The monkey smiled and laughed maniacally and the screen went black.

"That was some lame-o show," Peter laughed as he snapped off the television.

"Tell me about it," Lois agreed, "Who wants more popcorn?"

"I do!" Meg shouted.

"Meg, young boys like you don't need to eat popcorn," Lois said.

Meg shouted, "I AM NOT A BOY!"

The End. Tell me how you liked it; it was kind of weird, I know. Review!