Friday 9th April.

Weight, irrelevant, cigarettes 0 (v.g), alcohol 0 (v.g), babies: at least one, fathers: 2.

9:30 am: On way to work.

Wonder what time Mothercare opens?

9:35 am: Though obviously is bit early to buy clothes for mere zygote. Would, of course, not be indulging in new motherly status.

6 pm: Why the fuck is Mothercare shut?

7:30 pm: Reading 'Pregnancy and You' magazine.

Hmm, readers' problems do not include 'my baby has two fathers, one of who has buggered off, the other a total fuckwit.' Speaking of whom, have remembered am having drinks with him at 9 though may have to cancel as is wrong to expose zygote to smoky bar.

Although magazine also recommends that expectant mothers find out as much as possible about their family's health history as well as the history of the father's family to rule out any future problems.

And seeing as there are two possible fathers, technically should take double the time.

11 pm. Told Daniel could only drink water as was doing research for work. Then listened to him slag off 'the flat chested whore who looks like a notice board with all those fucking piercings,' (Daniel's neighbour). Finally managed to get onto subject of family health when Lord Fuckwit brushed back hair to reveal small cut to forehead.

'How did you get that?'

'Stabbed myself with a metal comb.'

'Oh. When you cut yourself, do you clot easily?'

'What the fuck?'

'How-long-until-the-bur-lood-stops-flowing-out-of-the-wound?'

'I don't know! About a minute or two, I guess.'

'Two minutes. Does anyone in your family have down's?'

'No they do not! Jones, what the fuck is your prob-.'

'And what about Cystic Fibrosis? Are you a carrier?'

'No, no, naturally my family is freak free. Apart from my cousin, of course.' He looked sheepishly at the floor.

'Why? What was wrong with them?' I asked, alarmed.

'I don't think I can tell you. It's something I'm ashamed of. One could say I was in denial.'

'Is it serious? Could it have affected you too?'

'Yes, I suppose. We, after all, share the same blood.'

'Are they ok, now?'

'Well, I suppose you could say, not really. It's a genetic fault, really. He was always treated differently while we were at Marlborough together.'

This was awful. At this rate, baby was to be born with two possible fathers and a big chance of inheriting this faulty gene from Daniel. Felt a bit sick really.

'The worst thing is, is that I could be a carrier.' Daniel stared into the bottom of his glass and sighed deeply. 'But then again Benjamin's children have been unaffected. Then again, whose to say mine won't.'

'Is Benjamin your father's brother's son?'

'Yes, that's right.'

'So how do you know this, er, genetic fault, wasn't due to Benjamin's mother?'

'My uncle also had the same problem. Quite a common thing really. However, though, Ben coped with it much better.'

'Was there some sort of treatment available? What did the doctor say?'

'Nothing, we never went to him about that.'

What? Knew Daniel was infamous for keeping things hidden but surely this was going too far.

'No,' Daniel continued, now twitching his thumbs, 'he went to the hairdressers. Became 'chestnut brown.' Vast improvement from being a 'ginger nob.''

Ginger? Was this the 'faulty gene' he was talking about?

'What the fuck, Daniel! I thought your cousin had had to suffer the pain of inheriting a genetic disease and having to live with it all his life!' Was really furious now.

'Being a ginger nob is a genetic disease! How would you like it if you were called a 'Duracell' everyday during the third form? And when your parents were late to pick you up at the start of the exeat and people said you had obviously been 'left out to rust?' What would you do?'

'I thought you were talking about an incurable disease for Christ's sakes! Ginger hair is only seen as a bit camp because of society!'

'Calm down Jones! I think you should have a drink.'

'I don't want one. I just want to go home. Goodbye, Daniel.' I turned my heel towards the door and began walking.

'Bridget, come back! Look, at least let me drive you home. The car's just outside.'

Hmm, was dark and cold outside. And to be honest, I didn't really have a clue where I was.

'Ok, but only because it's cold. This doesn't mean I have to like you.'

11:30 pm. Daniel tried to invite himself up for coffee but told him where to go. Also, would not have time to rid flat of many, double lined, pregnancy tests scattered in numerous places. Should really stop. Have established that self is with child.