DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. So there! raspberry
AUTHORS NOTE: Ha! She said I'd never get past the 1st chapter. Showed her! I did one better!
SUMMARY: There's been a tragic accident…actually, it's pretty darn funny. Draco Malfoy experiences a life-altering transformation, but who knows if it'll be for better or for worse. WARNING: Slash (technically)! Some other stuff that would ruin the whole story if I told!
The Big Bang
Chapter Two
The new school year started without a hitch. Harry and his friends enjoyed an uneasy truce as long as Hermione kept her nose out of his business. He and Malfoy had already begun marking girls for future sampling. Snape changed his mind about only allowing students into the NEWTS level class who scored an "O" on their OWLS; it was generally accepted that Dumbledore made him. This meant that Harry, Hermione, Ron, and even Neville had two more hellish years with the surly man. How Longbottom scored high enough to get into the class is one of the Great Mysteries of the Universe…even to him.
Being just as great a git as before, the professor jumped right into high-level potions and couldn't care less that most of his students hadn't reached that level of skill yet. Harry was positive that the slime ball was punishing everyone so that he would stumble, thereby giving Snape an excuse to kick him out of the class. The plan might have worked, if he hadn't started with a potion that Harry already had experience brewing: Polyjuice. The students quietly took notes as Snape lectured on the ingredients, procedure, and effects of the Polyjuice Potion. A great groan rose from the class when they heard that it would take a month to brew; anything could go wrong in that amount of time.
"Be silent and listen. I'm going to pair you off for this assignment. The pairings will be as such: Granger/Finch-Fletchly, Zambini/Bones, Potter/Parkinson, Longbottom/Malfoy, Patil/Baulstrode, and Patil/Weasley." He placed the list of partners on his desk. "Yes," he bit out as both Patil sisters raised their hands timidly.
"Um, Professor? Which one of us goes with which one of them," Parvati asked.
"You Baulstrode and you," he said, jabbing a finger at Padma, "Weasley. Got that? Good. Now, for the next month, these people will be your other arm; both of your grades will depend heavily on how well you work together, not just the quality of your potion. I've noticed a disturbing lack of cohesion over the years when in groups, and intend to remedy that this year." He glared at each member of the Trio in turn. Both boys usually depended on Hermione to make the potion while they caught up on some much needed sleep. "Everyone will come to class prepared Wednesday or it will cost your house fifty points." With that, he swept out of the room and back into his office, slamming the door behind him.
Dismissed, the students packed up their parchment and quills. Harry walked over to Neville, who looked like a cornered mouse, to offer encouragement. The next month would be a challenge for him, to say the least. On the way to his bumbling friend, however, Harry couldn't help giving his future Potions partner the once over. Pansy would never be a great beauty, but she'd finally grown into that nose and now had a face attractively full of character. From what he could tell by the drape of her robes, she had a smoking body too. Glancing over just then, Pansy caught Harry giving her the once over and received his newly patented smile. She returned the gesture while walking over to him and ran one long crimson fingernail along his jaw. She winked at him over her shoulder before sauntering out of the classroom.
Harry chuckled with anticipation and continued towards the blubbering Neville. "Polyjuice and Malfoy! I'm dead."
"Aw, come on Neville," Harry said brightly, throwing a comforting arm around the boy's shoulders. "It won't be that bad. I'll help with your potion if you'd like."
Neville smiled up at his friend gratefully but shook his head. "Thanks, Harry, but no. You're almost as bad in Potions as I am."
"Huh," Harry said, sucking in his upper lip. "You've got me there. Maybe Hermione can be persuaded to help."
"Oh! Hermione would be wonderful!" That surely got him excited. "Do you really think she'll do it, Harry?"
"Won't know 'till you ask her, now will you?"
"Me," Neville squeaked in fear. "Oh, I couldn't. She'll think I'm stupid or something, like I don't know what I'm doing!"
"But, Nev…you don't know what you're doing. That's why you need her."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Don't worry about Longbottom's grade, Potter. This is one assignment the bumbling oaf won't muck up." They both turned to look into Malfoy's mocking gray eyes.
"H-how do you know that, Malfoy," Neville asked nervously.
Draco glared at him and spat, "Because my grade will be tied into yours, and I refuse to ruin my chances of Head Boy because you're an inept moron. That should have been obvious."
"Oh," Neville said. "S-sorry, Malfoy."
"Don't apologize to him, Neville!" Harry stepped between his friend and Malfoy, looking ready to do bodily harm. "You do know, don't you, that being a first rate prat to intimidate him is only going to make things worse. The more nervous he is the more mistakes he makes."
"Well, what are you suggesting, Potter? That I be nice to this idiot for an entire month?"
"Not like it'd kill you, ferret," Ron said heatedly, moving to stand at Harry's back.
"It very well might, Ron," said Hermione acidly. "I don't think his delicate system could handle niceties with anyone, let alone a 'Gryffindork'."
"Right you are, mudblood. So nice to have someone finally understand!" He bowed to Hermione with courtly flourish and flashed her a disarming smile. Her expression didn't change from that of extreme dislike.
"One day, Malfoy, you'll be old, alone, and hated. You won't be able to blame anyone but yourself, either," She said darkly.
"Ooo, I'm scared. Positively shaking in my boots!" The three of them bustled Neville out of the classroom as Draco laughed derisively.
"I'm so dead," Neville whined.
"Now, Neville," Hermione said comfortingly. "Malfoy was probably telling the truth." Ron and Harry stared at her in shock and disgust. "What? He'll have to help Neville succeed with this potion, because he fails if his partner fails." Their expressions turned disbelieving, but no less disgusted.
"I seriously doubt Snape would let his bummer boy fail," Ron bit out.
"Ronald Weasley," Hermione said warningly. She'd been trying to clean up Ron's language all summer; not making much headway there. "Anyways," she continued, sending Ron a warning glare, "Dumbledore would never allow such blatant favoritism. I would be in the Headmaster's office in a snap if he tried. I'm sure you're aware of how persuasive I can be," she said to the boys. All three of them nodded their heads vigorously as memories of Hermione brow beating them into doing something detestable (like studying) came to mind.
"I guess you're right, about Malfoy and all, but," Neville said uncertainly, "how's he gonna get me to pass? That's the question."
2ND AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Bummer boy" is from a fic called Dangerously In Love. I don't know if it's a real term, but it made me chuckle so I wanted to use it.