Disclaimer: Spooks and all it's characters belong to Kudos and the BBC.

Author's Note: This is basically a continuation of the Series 3 Final. All comments welcome. Enjoy and Thank You for reading. (Edited on the 6th of July 2006 to make it easier to read)

Empty Promises

The night was closing in on the day, but that didn't make the events of the previous six hours any less devastating. It would take a little while longer before it finally sunk in, that someone that they had worked with and loved for so long had been killed in cold blood. Harry couldn't even bring himself to say his name anymore. At least the tears had stopped. For which Harry was more than grateful, he never knew what to do around women when they cried. Being that it was Ruth only made him more uncomfortable.

She huddled in the backseat of the car, pulling her coat around herself as if she were cold. Though Harry doubted that was the case. He was close enough to feel just how warm she was. She stared, unblinking out of the window. Her hands clasped loosely in her lap. She trembled ever so slightly.
Harry had never seen her look so fragile. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Her skin was pale, completely drained of colour. She looked as if the weight of the day had aged her. Stolen that spark that made her stand out from everybody else he knew. It pained him to see her like this.

He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and whisper empty promises in her ear. To tell her that everything was going to be alright, even though they both knew it wouldn't be. He wanted to say anything to see that light return to her eyes. Do anything to see her smile again, even just for a second.

The image was so strong that he had to thrust his hands deep into his coat pockets to stop himself from doing it. He cursed himself for even thinking about something like that while she was in such a fragile state. It was inexcusable. He banished it to the back of his mind, ignoring the silent plea to act it out.

The silence had dragged on far too long and had become deafening. Harry could take the hush as well as the next man, but now he needed something to fill the gap. Something besides the sound of Ruth wetting her dry lips. But every time he opened his mouth to say something, the words suck in his throat. Even the most meaningless of sentences suddenly became impossible to say. He had had trouble around Ruth before, but never like this.

With words failing him, Harry did the only thing that seemed to have any meaning. He reached across and took Ruth's hand in his.

She met his gaze and held it, bolder than usual. Even in the semidarkness of the car he could see her eyes shining, whether it was with unshed tears or not, he couldn't tell. She turned away just as the faintest hint of colour spread across her cheeks. Harry couldn't quite suppress his smile.

If she was surprised by his little display of affection, she didn't let it show. Her face was peacefully void of emotion. Though he was sure he had seen something in her eyes before she turned away. Something that he couldn't even begin to describe.

As he locked eyes with the driver, who was peering back at them in the rear view mirror, it became painfully obvious just how ridiculous the situation was. The head of the department holding hands with a junior officer in the back seat of a pool car. It was laughable.

When Harry was away from her. When he wasn't in range of her voice. When she wasn't in his line of sight, then he could almost talk himself out of her. Almost convince himself that what he felt for her was nothing more than a strong sense of friendship. But never when he was around her. Never when she smiled at him, or when he saw those dazzling blue eyes. Never when he was sat so close to her that he could smell her perfume, and feel her pulse beating against his fingers.

By the time the car pulled up outside Ruth's home, the calm in her had been replaced by something else. She cradled Harry's hand between hers, her grip so tight it almost hurt. Ruth stared up at the darkened house, the corners of her mouth turned down. Harry could make out the anxiety in her posture. He couldn't tell whether she was afraid to be alone or the events of the day. Whatever it was, she seemed to be reassured by Harry placing his hand on top of hers.

Harry climbed out and held the door open for her. She used the top of the door to steady herself on the pavement. For a mere second, Ruth's fingertips brushed his. She felt the heat rise up her face and dropped her gaze in a weak attempt to stop him from seeing her blush.

They were half way to Ruth's front door when she stopped him with a hand on his arm. He turned to see a tremor run through her body. A film of tears covered her eyes. A small sound escaped her throat. It sounded like a cross between a sob and a scream, like something broken. She pressed the back of her hand against her mouth, and tried to keep her eyes wide so that tears wouldn't start to fall. It was impossible for Harry to keep the look of concern from his face. She was in so much pain and looked so vulnerable. It was heartbreaking.

Not being able to stand it any longer, Harry took her in his arms. She buried her head into his shoulder; her tears came in choking sobs. She clung to him like he was the last solid thing in the world. He could feel her heart beating franticly against him. Ruth pressed her warm cheek against his, enough for him to feel the wetness of tears.

Her voice sounded strangled. "Promise me that everything will be ok." She shook with the effort of fighting back the tears. Her voice had never sounded so delicate, so exposed. "Promise me Harry."

He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek more firmly against hers. She was asking for him to lie to her, and that was something he swore never to do. To give promises to her that he knew he couldn't keep. But the pain, the suffering in her was too terrible.

So what was one lie to give her a moment's peace?

Harry pushed a stray strand of hair back off her face and said those three little words that made her eyes light up with pure delight.

"I promise you."