OK, first time writer here, so please be kind. I heard this song on the radio last night, and I thought it fit so well with what and Derek seem to be going through. The song is "Come a Little Closer" by Dierks Bentley. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics to the song, or anyone from Grey's Anatomy. Although, I wouldn't mind owning McDreamy….
He chose you. That's what you have to keep telling yourself. It should be enough, right? He didn't sign the papers and go off into the sunset with his little intern. He stayed with you, his wife. It was HIS choice. But why does it seem he's regretting it every second since?
Come a little closer, baby
I feel like laying you down
On a bed of sweet surrender
Where we can work it all out
"Hi sweetie, how was your day?"
"Fine."
"Are you sure? You look kind of stressed; do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm fine Addison. Drop it."
This is all you can get out of him now. It used to be he'd tell you everything, but now? You're lucky if you even get a reply. He doesn't even look at you when he talks. But this isn't anything new. He always gets like this when something's bothering him. It used to be he didn't want to burden you, but now you wonder if you're the problem.
You start to make dinner, tearing the up the lettuce, taking out your frustration on the salad. There's no talking to him when he gets like this. It's always been this way. Really, the only time you got a straight answer from Derek was when you touched. And maybe that's the answer.
There ain't nothing that love can't fix
Girl it's right here at our finger tips
You walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. In your heels, you are almost as tall as he is. Breathing in his familiar scent, you whisper in his ear.
"I bet I can make you feel better"
You feel him shiver as your breath feathers across his neck. He turns around to face you and puts his hand on your cheek.
"Addy, I…"
"Shhhhh" You put a finger to his lips. OK, he was hesitating. But at least he wasn't pushing you away or anything. You lean in closer and gently brush your lips against his.
So come a little closer, baby
I feel like laying you down
You feel him hesitate again, but before he can pull away, you kiss him again, harder. He sucks in air before wrapping his arms around you. You sigh with pleasure. Victory.
Come a little closer, baby
I feel like letting go
Of everything that stands between us
And the love we used to know
I wanna touch you like a cleansing rain
And let it wash all the hurt away
So come a little closer, baby
I feel like letting go
Now he is the aggressor, pulling you towards his bed. Clothes are removed hurriedly, without finesse, and soon you are both on his bed, in a sweaty tangle of limbs and heavy breathing.
If there's still a chance
Then take my hand
And we'll steal away
Off into the night
Til we make things right
The suns gonna raise on a better day
This has to be a good sign. He's still attracted to you, so he must feel something… you try and push these thoughts out of your mind. But one still stays. If it's love he's feeling, where is the tenderness? This isn't the lovemaking you hoped for. It's just sex.
Come a little closer, baby
I feel like stripping it down
Back to the basics of you and me
And what makes the world go round
Every inch of you against my skin
I wanna be stronger than we've ever been
But, you think to yourself as he pushes you down onto the bed, you have to start somewhere…
So come a little closer, baby
I feel like stripping it down
You look into those piercing blue eyes as he rises over you. Searching for something, anything that says he is feeling what you are. But his eyes are closed. He's hiding again. From you.
Come a little closer, baby
Just a little bit closer, baby
The sex is hurried, but intense. Afterwards you cuddle close to him, and he absently strokes your hair. You struggle to say something, anything, but when you look into his eyes, you can tell he wouldn't really hear you anyway. He may be in your arms, but he's a million miles away.
Come a little closer, baby
I feel like laying you down
He chose you. You repeat that to yourself, your knees pulled into your chest on the bed as he showers. But in the end, you know it doesn't really matter. Because now you know. He may have chosen you, but it's her he loves.
